Forgiveness

Robert Chase51 said:I guess we should start by looking at what was actually said here. It’s easy to get swept up in the emotion of these discussions, but if you step back and really analyze the substance, things look a bit different. Maybe I'm being too cynical, but I suspect there's more going on beneath the surface than most people are willing to admit. It feels like we're often just circling the same drain without ever touching the core issue. I don't know, perhaps I'm just getting old and tired of seeing the same patterns repeat themselves over and over again. Regardless, it's worth considering that the reality might be far more complicated than the simplified versions we see floating around online.

🙏🙏

I’ve always felt that the people who actually manage to forgive are probably much happier in the long run. They seem to carry this sense of being full of love... though, I guess if we're being honest, that love doesn't always find its way back to them. It often just disappears into the void. But, maybe it all works out in the end. Everything eventually finds its level. 😉

I don't really have any beef with anyone, honestly. I just tend to follow my heart more often than not—which is something I think people should probably do a lot more frequently. The world would be a much better place if they did, but hey, that’s just my two cents. Everyone sees things differently, I guess. 😉

What makes you think I've been ignoring my heart? 🤷

Morgan Gonzalez56 said:I actually quite like this little piece, and this part could almost be flipped:

Exactly. As long as there is remorse, there is guilt.

As long as there is guilt, there is remorse. It's a two-way street.

Hypothetically speaking—why would anyone commit an evil act 🤷 unless they were mentally unwell? You might find this surprising, but personally, I view evil acts as a kind of spiritual cancer. I really wonder who is pulling the strings for a killer or any other criminal. Is it the mind? I doubt it. I don't believe a mentally healthy person is capable of causing bloodshed unless they are defending a child or acting in self-defense. All true crimes are committed in a state of madness, and in principle, there isn't much to criticize there. This isn't about equating the victim with the perpetrator or making excuses for the killer; it's an observation of their mental makeup. But if nothing can be forgiven, then we must remember, at all costs, as a preventative measure, so we don't end up in the role of the victim again.

I don't think forgiveness is such a grand or noble thing. It doesn't impress me. I am far more impressed by people who simply aren't capable of holding a grudge. Offering someone forgiveness sounds incredibly pretentious to me, like some sort of slimy, self-important superiority.

Actually, thinking about it more—I believe an extremely small number of people are truly capable of forgiving, and it’s just a word, an unreachable ideal that remains incomprehensible to most humans.

Because he’s following a specific ideology, he feels forced to act just to save his own skin—all while convincing himself that it's actually the right thing to do.

You might find this perspective a bit jarring, but I personally view evil—true criminal intent—as a kind of spiritual cancer. It makes me wonder: who is actually pulling the strings behind a killer’s hand? Is it pure reason? I highly doubt it. In my view, a mentally sound individual isn't capable of orchestrating bloodshed unless they're driven by the primal need to protect a child or act in self-defense. Most true atrocities are committed in a state of total madness, and in those moments, there isn't much left to judge. This isn't about equating the victim with the perpetrator, nor is it an excuse for the crime itself; it's simply an observation of the fractured mental makeup required to commit such acts.

In principle, I agree with what you wrote, but look at this situation. Lately, I’ve been running into people who were actually part of the units firing on Washington, D.C. For the first time since the war ended, I am coming face-to-face with those I know were positioned on the surrounding hills, raining fire down on us. Most of them seem like completely normal people—hardworking, decent, with families and average lives. If I didn't know exactly what they had done, I might even sit down and grab a coffee with them. But instead, I just get this heavy, uncomfortable feeling whenever I'm near them. It isn't that I hate them; I moved past hatred a long time ago. However, if forgiveness requires forgetting, then that is something I will never be able to do. Because I know deep down that if they had to, they would pick up their rifles and knives again tomorrow and go right back to the slaughter. And please, don't try to tell me the whole nation is mentally ill. They aren't. They simply believe in what they were taught. And that isn't unique to them; it’s true of every ideology out there.

If there’s nothing to forgive, then you have to remember. You hold onto it at all costs—as a preventative measure—so we don't end up playing the victim all over again.

That’s exactly what I can't stomach about that story. True forgiveness only exists through total amnesia. In the book, Abel sits back down with Cain and actually decides to trust him again—I could never find it in me to do that with people I know were out there taking shots from the ridge.

I don't buy the idea that forgiveness is this grand, noble gesture; honestly, it doesn't impress me one bit. What actually moves me are the people who simply don't have the capacity to hold a grudge in the first place. To me, "offering" someone forgiveness sounds incredibly pretentious—it carries this sort of slick, self-righteous superiority that I've always found a bit grating.

I agree with you, though I suspect we’re chasing an ideal that's ultimately out of reach.

Sean Cruz said:Because he’s following a specific ideology, he feels forced to act just to save his own skin—all while convincing himself that it's actually the right thing to do.

You might find this perspective a bit jarring, but I personally view evil—true criminal intent—as a kind of spiritual cancer. It makes me wonder: who is actually pulling the strings behind a killer’s hand? Is it pure reason? I highly doubt it. In my view, a mentally sound individual isn't capable of orchestrating bloodshed unless they're driven by the primal need to protect a child or act in self-defense. Most true atrocities are committed in a state of total madness, and in those moments, there isn't much left to judge. This isn't about equating the victim with the perpetrator, nor is it an excuse for the crime itself; it's simply an observation of the fractured mental makeup required to commit such acts.

In principle, I agree with what you wrote, but look at this situation. Lately, I’ve been running into people who were actually part of the units firing on Washington, D.C. For the first time since the war ended, I am coming face-to-face with those I know were positioned on the surrounding hills, raining fire down on us. Most of them seem like completely normal people—hardworking, decent, with families and average lives. If I didn't know exactly what they had done, I might even sit down and grab a coffee with them. But instead, I just get this heavy, uncomfortable feeling whenever I'm near them. It isn't that I hate them; I moved past hatred a long time ago. However, if forgiveness requires forgetting, then that is something I will never be able to do. Because I know deep down that if they had to, they would pick up their rifles and knives again tomorrow and go right back to the slaughter. And please, don't try to tell me the whole nation is mentally ill. They aren't. They simply believe in what they were taught. And that isn't unique to them; it’s true of every ideology out there.

If there’s nothing to forgive, then you have to remember. You hold onto it at all costs—as a preventative measure—so we don't end up playing the victim all over again.

That’s exactly what I can't stomach about that story. True forgiveness only exists through total amnesia. In the book, Abel sits back down with Cain and actually decides to trust him again—I could never find it in me to do that with people I know were out there taking shots from the ridge.

I don't buy the idea that forgiveness is this grand, noble gesture; honestly, it doesn't impress me one bit. What actually moves me are the people who simply don't have the capacity to hold a grudge in the first place. To me, "offering" someone forgiveness sounds incredibly pretentious—it carries this sort of slick, self-righteous superiority that I've always found a bit grating.

I agree with you, though I suspect we’re chasing an ideal that's ultimately out of reach.

No, I certainly won't say an entire nation is mentally ill. But did madness prevail? Yes. That's how it always goes in war. People cast aside whatever scrap of humanity they have left, and that's where your point about ideology fits in. People lose their minds and lose all touch with reality. Brainwashed, or whatever you want to call it (I've never been part of any ideology or big movement, for that matter), just pure mob mentality. That's why I resist patriotism and religion so much. "Homeland" and "God" are often just excuses for people to start acting like animals and scavengers. Once someone stabs you in the back, they will almost certainly take a second shot at you. People don't change, and remorse is usually just for show. I don't believe in sincere repentance, unless someone does something terrible by accident, against their better judgment; in those cases, they really are sorry. But someone who went out with a calculated plan and a motive to commit atrocities... well, yeah. You stay far away from people like that. It's the only safe bet. 😁

Who even talks about the heart versus the mind anymore? 😉

The real issue—and I guess this applies to pretty much everything involving how we conceptualize or actually live out our lives—is this weird divide between what we call "reason" and what we call "heart." It’s like we pretend they’re at odds, when in reality, they aren't mutually exclusive at all.

I’ve always felt that the "right path" is really just finding that sweet spot where your head and your heart finally start singing the same tune. And honestly, life has a funny way of teaching you that through trial and error—you know, those moments where you follow your gut and completely ignore logic, or when you get too caught up in being practical and totally lose sight of what you actually feel.

Forgiveness... well, it sort of breaks that mental loop of holding onto a grudge.

Morgan Gonzalez56 said:No, I certainly won't say an entire nation is mentally ill. But did madness prevail? Yes. That's how it always goes in war. People cast aside whatever scrap of humanity they have left, and that's where your point about ideology fits in. People lose their minds and lose all touch with reality. Brainwashed, or whatever you want to call it (I've never been part of any ideology or big movement, for that matter), just pure mob mentality. That's why I resist patriotism and religion so much. "Homeland" and "God" are often just excuses for people to start acting like animals and scavengers. Once someone stabs you in the back, they will almost certainly take a second shot at you. People don't change, and remorse is usually just for show. I don't believe in sincere repentance, unless someone does something terrible by accident, against their better judgment; in those cases, they really are sorry. But someone who went out with a calculated plan and a motive to commit atrocities... well, yeah. You stay far away from people like that. It's the only safe bet. 😁

You might find this hard to swallow, but I don't think most people simply abandon their humanity. It’s more that circumstances force them to cling to a specific ideology just to protect themselves or their families. It’s a heavy subject; almost every system drifts toward totalitarianism, which means even decent people often feel pressured to conform to the majority. Very few actually stand up and say "no." And let's be honest, some people actually get swept up in that rush of feeling invincible. Have you ever read "Death and the Maiden"? It’s the kind of book that applies to pretty much any government system out there...

I’d apply that same logic to ideology. People lose their grip and completely disconnect from reality. Brainwashed sheep, or whatever you want to call them (personally, I’ve never been part of an ideology or a massive movement—nothing like that), just a mindless herd.

People lean on delusions and self-deception quite a bit. It’s a survival mechanism for dealing with a harsh reality, because the cold truth is that we’re all eventually headed for six feet under. Many struggle to accept that. I understand the urge to sugarcoat our existence, but what scares me are those who turn aggressive while feeding into those delusions.

That’s why I push back so hard against patriotism and organized religion. "Country" and "God" are often just excuses used by people to act like animals and scavengers.

There is truth to that, but patriotism has another side: defending one's home. The idealists—who, looking at it realistically, are just fools. I’ve been one myself. Those who left the country ended up much better off—returning with full pockets and zero trauma. But I don't regret staying; I would never have gained this particular life lesson if I had left. It opened my eyes forever...

Once someone stabs you in the back, they’ll definitely look for a second chance to do it again. People don't change, and "remorse" is usually just for show. I don't believe in sincere repentance unless someone commits a wrong entirely by accident—in those cases, they truly feel bad. But someone who executes a calculated, premeditated atrocity? Please. You stay far away from people like that. It's a certainty.😁

There’s an old saying: the naive person lets themselves be conned once, but the fool lets it happen twice.

Of course, intention is everything...

Morgan Gonzalez56 said:What makes you think I've been ignoring my heart? 🤷

I didn't say that. I just meant that lately, I've been more inclined to follow my gut than my logic... maybe I phrased that poorly. 🤷

Sean Cruz said:You might find this hard to swallow, but I don't think most people simply abandon their humanity. It’s more that circumstances force them to cling to a specific ideology just to protect themselves or their families. It’s a heavy subject; almost every system drifts toward totalitarianism, which means even decent people often feel pressured to conform to the majority. Very few actually stand up and say "no." And let's be honest, some people actually get swept up in that rush of feeling invincible. Have you ever read "Death and the Maiden"? It’s the kind of book that applies to pretty much any government system out there...

I’d apply that same logic to ideology. People lose their grip and completely disconnect from reality. Brainwashed sheep, or whatever you want to call them (personally, I’ve never been part of an ideology or a massive movement—nothing like that), just a mindless herd.

People lean on delusions and self-deception quite a bit. It’s a survival mechanism for dealing with a harsh reality, because the cold truth is that we’re all eventually headed for six feet under. Many struggle to accept that. I understand the urge to sugarcoat our existence, but what scares me are those who turn aggressive while feeding into those delusions.

That’s why I push back so hard against patriotism and organized religion. "Country" and "God" are often just excuses used by people to act like animals and scavengers.

There is truth to that, but patriotism has another side: defending one's home. The idealists—who, looking at it realistically, are just fools. I’ve been one myself. Those who left the country ended up much better off—returning with full pockets and zero trauma. But I don't regret staying; I would never have gained this particular life lesson if I had left. It opened my eyes forever...

Once someone stabs you in the back, they’ll definitely look for a second chance to do it again. People don't change, and "remorse" is usually just for show. I don't believe in sincere repentance unless someone commits a wrong entirely by accident—in those cases, they truly feel bad. But someone who executes a calculated, premeditated atrocity? Please. You stay far away from people like that. It's a certainty.😁

There’s an old saying: the naive person lets themselves be conned once, but the fool lets it happen twice.

Of course, intention is everything...

I haven't read it yet, but I did pick up Llosa's "Jarčev Celebration." It hits on very similar themes, and the whole thing is based on true events from back in the day. trujillev Dictatorships are interesting. It’s a chilling fact that back then, kids in school were forced to recite: God, country, and Trujillo. That sounds incredibly familiar to me. 😁 In a totalitarian regime, you can't even trust your own family. It’s just pure, hysterical chaos—total neurosis fueled by a desperate fear of losing power, money, or territory, which inevitably leads to invading someone else's land. Honestly, there’s nothing healthy about it. 😵

I'm certain that not everyone who was aiming at Washington, D.C. and its residents actually supported what was happening on an intimate level. For a lot of people, they simply didn't have a choice. We saw similar dynamics back in the States too—though maybe not in quite this specific way—but there were certainly instances of forced encounters.

People have a tendency to spiral into various anxieties and engage in a lot of self-deception.

The problem with conformity and just blindly following the crowd. 🧐 Where is everyone? Even little Mujo is gone. I guess I'm just left standing here by myself while everybody else heads off somewhere else.

It’s just a way to cope with a reality that isn't exactly pretty. Let's face it: the only thing we can actually count on is eventually ending up six feet under. A lot of people struggle to accept that, and honestly, I get it. We all have this deep-seated need to dress up our lives and make things look better than they really are. But I have to admit, it scares me a bit—seeing how aggressive people can get when they're just hanging out at their local barbershops.

That’s actually really kind of you to say. I appreciate that. 🙂 I honestly think what we're seeing here is mostly just a lack of critical thinking and people following the crowd. It's classic herd mentality. Don't get me wrong, there can be some upside to that kind of collective movement, sure, but I’m worried. I really am. I fear the downsides of this phenomenon are much more serious and far more destructive than people realize.

That’s true, but there is another side to patriotism. It’s about defending your country. If you look at it through a realistic lens, the idealists are basically just fools. I know, I’m one of them. Those who left were much better off—they walked away with full pockets and zero trauma. But I don't regret it. I never would have gained this life lesson if I hadn't gone. It changed my perspective forever.

Defending one's country is really just about defending your own integrity. Every healthy individual strives for that; it isn't some foolish impulse. We do it because we're hoping for a better future.

There’s an old saying for a reason: you're naive if you let yourself get fooled once, but you're just plain foolish if you let it happen a second time.

Of course, intention is everything....

I agree. Even in Buddhism, they teach that the motivation behind an action is what determines if it's positive or negative.

This is what real conformity looks like—the witch hunts, the public shaming of individuals, the inquisitions, and the wars:



Can anyone actually justify behavior like this?

Morgan Gonzalez56 said:No, I certainly won't say an entire nation is mentally ill. But did madness prevail? Yes. That's how it always goes in war. People cast aside whatever scrap of humanity they have left, and that's where your point about ideology fits in. People lose their minds and lose all touch with reality. Brainwashed, or whatever you want to call it (I've never been part of any ideology or big movement, for that matter), just pure mob mentality. That's why I resist patriotism and religion so much. "Homeland" and "God" are often just excuses for people to start acting like animals and scavengers. Once someone stabs you in the back, they will almost certainly take a second shot at you. People don't change, and remorse is usually just for show. I don't believe in sincere repentance, unless someone does something terrible by accident, against their better judgment; in those cases, they really are sorry. But someone who went out with a calculated plan and a motive to commit atrocities... well, yeah. You stay far away from people like that. It's the only safe bet. 😁

Cut it out, man, because John and I are right there with you on that one.

“We don't need to step foot in an asylum to witness a fractured psyche; this whole planet is basically the universe's psychiatric ward.” John

Jerry King11 said:But honestly, we don't forgive just for the sake of the offender. We do it for ourselves, so we aren't tethered to their toxicity or left under their thumb. It isn't that people are inherently evil; it's that evil finds a way to take root and turn them into its servant... and eventually, they'll have to answer for that. Repentance doesn't mean we should ignore the wrongdoing or skip the legal process if a crime was committed. Forgiving someone doesn't mean you have to pretend what happened didn't occur.

To forget would be the final act of letting that evil cling to us. Of course, most of what Jesus taught was directed toward believers and His Church, so as brothers in Christ, we should be ready to offer forgiveness seven or seventy-seven times a day—and they will accept it. We can always give it freely because we are empowered by the Spirit to do so.

They also understand that following crucifixion should lead (through the Spirit) to transformation (repentance). For everything to make sense, by loving and forgiving others without judgment, it becomes much easier to reach that state of transformation. They do it, and we do too—because whatever we extend to others, we ultimately grant to ourselves.

John 13:35 "By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

@ Susan Price30

I wonder, will Jesus of Nazareth ever truly forgive "his church"?

I’ve forgiven things that most people honestly couldn't handle. I did it for my own sake, because I refuse to let myself turn into some bitter, washed-up woman. And yeah, look, it’s hard. There are days where I catch myself questioning if I actually made the right call... but deep down, I know I did. I don't give a damn what anyone else thinks or says about it. I did this for me, based on my own values and what I believe in.

Drew Flores3 said:@ Susan Price30

I wonder, will Jesus of Nazareth ever truly forgive "his church"?

He will🙂. 😁One might assume they haven't earned it, but since we're talking about merit, nothing else we have was actually earned—it was all given as a gift. That's just how it is.

So, he’s finally saying his goodbyes. And what does he leave us with? A massive $40 million hole in the budget that we’re stuck paying off. Just a real lovely parting gift for the taxpayers. 😁
If there had been even a shred of actual benefit to all this, I might not be so annoyed...☕
But honestly, it feels like a total wash.

Morgan Gonzalez56 said:I haven't read it yet, but I did pick up Llosa's "Jarčev Celebration." It hits on very similar themes, and the whole thing is based on true events from back in the day. trujillev Dictatorships are interesting. It’s a chilling fact that back then, kids in school were forced to recite: God, country, and Trujillo. That sounds incredibly familiar to me. 😁 In a totalitarian regime, you can't even trust your own family. It’s just pure, hysterical chaos—total neurosis fueled by a desperate fear of losing power, money, or territory, which inevitably leads to invading someone else's land. Honestly, there’s nothing healthy about it. 😵

I'm certain that not everyone who was aiming at Washington, D.C. and its residents actually supported what was happening on an intimate level. For a lot of people, they simply didn't have a choice. We saw similar dynamics back in the States too—though maybe not in quite this specific way—but there were certainly instances of forced encounters.

People have a tendency to spiral into various anxieties and engage in a lot of self-deception.

The problem with conformity and just blindly following the crowd. 🧐 Where is everyone? Even little Mujo is gone. I guess I'm just left standing here by myself while everybody else heads off somewhere else.

It’s just a way to cope with a reality that isn't exactly pretty. Let's face it: the only thing we can actually count on is eventually ending up six feet under. A lot of people struggle to accept that, and honestly, I get it. We all have this deep-seated need to dress up our lives and make things look better than they really are. But I have to admit, it scares me a bit—seeing how aggressive people can get when they're just hanging out at their local barbershops.

That’s actually really kind of you to say. I appreciate that. 🙂 I honestly think what we're seeing here is mostly just a lack of critical thinking and people following the crowd. It's classic herd mentality. Don't get me wrong, there can be some upside to that kind of collective movement, sure, but I’m worried. I really am. I fear the downsides of this phenomenon are much more serious and far more destructive than people realize.

That’s true, but there is another side to patriotism. It’s about defending your country. If you look at it through a realistic lens, the idealists are basically just fools. I know, I’m one of them. Those who left were much better off—they walked away with full pockets and zero trauma. But I don't regret it. I never would have gained this life lesson if I hadn't gone. It changed my perspective forever.

Defending one's country is really just about defending your own integrity. Every healthy individual strives for that; it isn't some foolish impulse. We do it because we're hoping for a better future.

There’s an old saying for a reason: you're naive if you let yourself get fooled once, but you're just plain foolish if you let it happen a second time.

Of course, intention is everything....

I agree. Even in Buddhism, they teach that the motivation behind an action is what determines if it's positive or negative.

This is what real conformity looks like—the witch hunts, the public shaming of individuals, the inquisitions, and the wars:



Can anyone actually justify behavior like this?

So, is the book actually any good? I spotted it at the library, but I’ve always found that when it comes to Llosa, his work tends to lean way too heavily on eroticism. 😍
The core issue is that state institutions, religious organizations, and various other power structures inherently gravitate toward totalitarianism. I actually wrote a paper on this subject years ago, which required me to dive deep into the literature—everything from the rise of fascism and Nazism to the era of Stalinism. 😁 If I start diving into that here, we’re going to spiral into a massive off-topic tangent.

Where is everyone? Even little Mujo’s gone. I suppose I'm stuck standing here all by myself while everyone else heads off somewhere.

Speaking of little Mujo, do you actually know how that saying came to be? 🤣 In "National Treasure," Mehmed-beg Kapetanović Ljubušak explains how it all came to be—based on local folklore he used to collect (I’m paraphrasing here, I don't have the book within arm's reach).
Little Mujo lived in a small Mexican town where absolutely nobody shared his faith. When he passed away, not a single soul in that village knew a single prayer from his tradition. As they were lowering him into the grave, the local elder—trying his best to mimic a priest—simply remarked, "Where all the Turks went, little Mujo follows!"
Then, a chorus of "Amen!" echoed through the room.

Honestly, I was laughing my head off reading that book. 🤣

You’re being incredibly sweet when you say that. 🙂 Personally, I suspect what we’re seeing is mostly a lack of critical thinking and a tendency to just follow the crowd. It’s basic herd mentality. Sure, there can be some upside to that kind of collective movement, but I fear the downsides are far more serious—and much more destructive.

There’s certainly that side of things too, but I suppose I still hold onto this somewhat romanticized view of people. It’s honestly a struggle for me to accept that most folks just don't think.

This is what true conformity looks like: mob mentality, public shaming, inquisitions, and full-scale warfare.

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_FeTcvOpMyy...avina+mase.jpg

Can anyone actually justify this kind of behavior?

It’s people like this that I fear most... because I know exactly what they're capable of doing.

Susan Price30 said:To forget would be the final act of letting that evil cling to us. Of course, most of what Jesus taught was directed toward believers and His Church, so as brothers in Christ, we should be ready to offer forgiveness seven or seventy-seven times a day—and they will accept it. We can always give it freely because we are empowered by the Spirit to do so.

They also understand that following crucifixion should lead (through the Spirit) to transformation (repentance). For everything to make sense, by loving and forgiving others without judgment, it becomes much easier to reach that state of transformation. They do it, and we do too—because whatever we extend to others, we ultimately grant to ourselves.

John 13:35 "By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

Did I seriously miss this in Sunday school
or did some cosmic glitch just wipe my memory clean?😕

casualmaker13 said:So, he’s finally saying his goodbyes. And what does he leave us with? A massive $40 million hole in the budget that we’re stuck paying off. Just a real lovely parting gift for the taxpayers. 😁
If there had been even a shred of actual benefit to all this, I might not be so annoyed...☕
But honestly, it feels like a total wash.

Wasn't it just recently mentioned that we're looking at 14 million, not 40? I think someone might have just been talking nonsense with that first number.

So sad.......to see you all

Can we just find it in our hearts to forgive those people who think they have the right to play God? I don't care who they are or what their names might be.......I'm not going to go down any rabbit holes about conspiracies or anything, but I honestly think most of you already know exactly who and what I'm talking about.

I truly believe that finding the strength to forgive is essential if we ever want to purge ourselves of all that heavy guilt, bitterness, and resentment... By choosing forgiveness, we aren't just doing something for others; we're primarily doing it for our own sake, allowing ourselves to rise above those suffocating negative emotions and finally outgrow them.
Forgiveness doesn't necessarily mean you have to forget what happened, either... because if we just let it slip our minds entirely, we might find ourselves right back in the exact same situation where we need to forgive all over again. Remembering isn't about holding onto the pain, it's more about keeping that lesson close so we don't end up repeating the same old mistakes.😉

Jerry King11 said:Every injustice forces us to remember. Forgetting would be an act of betrayal against those who suffered. The real challenge, however, isn't remembering—it's resisting the urge to settle the score. Revenge is a dead end; it kills any chance of a fresh start and keeps the perpetrator tethered to their crimes and the wreckage they left behind.

By choosing to forgive, we actually protect ourselves from the rot of hatred and the slow suicide of holding onto bitterness. It’s about mental survival. We forgive so our enemies don't get to finish us off spiritually; we refuse to let their toxicity become our identity. Forgiveness lets us turn our gaze toward something better and move away from the darkness. It provides a certain kind of spiritual freedom. You can't extinguish hate with more hate, and you can't erase an insult with another insult. Only forgiveness works. Our worst enemies are actually our own malice and inhumanity, and the only way out is through mutual forgiveness—accepting and granting it. Evil can only be defeated if we start forgiving one another. We can clear our consciences by finding peace, even if it's only in our hearts, while leaving the actual judgment of the enemy and their actions to God.

Of course, all this sounds like hollow rhetoric if we can't actually pull it off in the real world. It’s easy enough to overlook a petty slight, but there are some intentional evils out there that stay with you, making true forgiveness feel almost impossible no matter how hard you try.

What’s your take on this?

Here are a few quotes, though they certainly don't all agree:

"When someone hurts us deeply, we only truly recover once we have forgiven."
Alan Paton

"If you're going to strike a child, let it be in a fit of rage, even if it leaves them bruised. A cold, calculated blow is neither forgivable nor should it ever be."
George Bernard Shaw

"I hope the work of the Commission will open wounds just enough to clean them, preventing them from festering. We can't be superficial and pretend the past is buried, because it isn't; it follows us. True reconciliation is never cheap, because it's built on forgiveness, which is costly. And forgiveness depends on remorse, which relies on acknowledging wrongdoing and uncovering the truth. You cannot forgive what you do not know."
Desmond Tutu (From Tutu's speech upon his appointment as Chairman of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission on November 30, 1995)

"When I hate, I lose something of myself; when I love, I am enriched by what I love. Forgiveness is reclaiming lost property—misanthropy is just a slow form of suicide; egoism is the greatest misery a soul can endure."
Friedrich von Schiller

"Ultimately, I won't have a mother embrace the tormentor who ordered the dogs to tear her son apart! She must not forgive him! If she chooses to, let her forgive him for her own sake, to forgive the tormentor for the immense maternal suffering he caused. But she has no right to forgive the suffering of her torn child, and she shouldn't forgive the tormentor even if the child themselves were to offer it! If that is the case, and they cannot forgive, where is the harmony? Is there anyone in the whole world who could or should have the right to forgive?"
Fyodor Dostoevsky (The Brothers Karamazov)

"Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names."
John F. Kennedy

"He who forgives a crime becomes an accomplice to it."
Voltaire

Totally agree! If you can do it, you absolutely should. Like you said, it's necessary for your own well-being. I bet everyone has been in that spot at least once, but were they strong enough to forgive? Did they love themselves enough to choose peace? Personally, I say this: forgive, which basically means letting go and moving on. Just cut that person out of your life and your head entirely! Don't deal with them ever again if you can help it. And stay far away from people like them too—avoid the risk altogether, even if things seem fine right now. Once you've been burned a few times, you learn. There are plenty of good people out there, and if you're a good soul yourself, you'll find them and enjoy life surrounded by better vibes. You never know what's coming next, so stay sharp and be cautious. It's way easier to walk away early than to deal with the damage later!

Jerry King11 said:Yeah, that’s an interesting and vital point. We often find ourselves blaming ourselves for why someone would act maliciously in the first place, wondering if we somehow invited it or deserved it...

I see it a little differently! It’s really about having two paths: you either forgive or you go for revenge. Revenge just pulls us toward doing bad things, and honestly? That stays with you way longer than the initial hurt. Why? Because when we choose to strike back, we’re making a choice to be the bad guy, whereas being wronged wasn't our call at all!

So, seeking revenge basically guarantees we cause permanent damage to ourselves. But hey, if someone picks that over healing and living without a heavy conscience, that’s on them! Not everyone is wired the same, right? Some people aren't looking for peace—they just want to hit back while they have the chance, or maybe they've become just like the person who hurt them. People are complicated!