Dennis Collins38 said:It looks to me like you have a much deeper issue than it seems at first glance. Marriage isn't a bad thing if you're with someone you actually love. Having anyone else meddle in your choice of a partner is just terrible. If your mother keeps pushing those church-dwelling nobodies on you, tell her she's more than welcome to sacrifice herself and marry one of them. Pick your own woman, get married, and move out. It’ll be chaotic at first, but things eventually settle down. It took ten years for my situation to stabilize, but it did. There was blackmail, whining, guilt-tripping, the whole "you don't love me" routine—the entire manipulative playbook... but now, she's quiet as a mouse.
My family wouldn't be too thrilled if my wife turned out to be an atheist or followed some other religion. 😁
I honestly find those hypocritical girls—the ones who claim they are "saving themselves" for someone special when nobody has even approached them by age thirty—to be totally fake. My mom wouldn't necessarily dictate who I marry in the sense of saying, "You must pick this specific person," but she definitely has a very specific "type." For her, physical beauty or education isn't the priority; it's all about being devout and smart. ☕
For me, the criteria are different: I want someone attractive, intelligent, educated, and capable of running a household.
I don't see these girls at the local church, but I see them everywhere during parish fundraisers. And whenever I see one, my mom immediately jumps in with, "See how polite and well-behaved she is!" To which I usually respond that she’s probably just some lonely loser who goes to church because she has absolutely no social life.
Besides, kids hanging around priests seem incredibly dull; some of them are even considering entering the priesthood, which adds this weird, stifling layer of youth to the environment.
Let's be real: my mother tries to manipulate me constantly. That is a fact.
It’s subtle, too. It sounds like: "You can make your own decisions, obviously; nobody is forcing you. It's just that if someone like you were part of our family, things would be different. We are traditional people, after all."
It’s that cult-like recruitment style: "Why don't you try reading just one passage from the Bible a day? Go to religious ed at the parish, join the choir... you'll see, they travel so much and have so much fun together." 🤣
And what kind of "fun" are we talking about? Five hours spent with three priests, two seminarians, and ten altar servers who are constantly giggling, all while sipping rosehip tea and eating store-bought cookies. ☕
Back when they used to host youth retreats and young people would visit from other countries, my mom suggested I host a few kids overnight and show them around town. They told everyone in the parish that if anyone had the space or the means, they should take them in. I told her straight up: "Fine, you host all ten of them, you take them out for ice cream, I couldn't care less." She hit me with, "Well, I'm working, and you have all this free time." I told her: "I want to use my free time how I please. I’d much rather lounge around the house than play tour guide to some kids from Poland or the Czech Republic."
It’s honestly ridiculous, these manipulative phases. And it definitely damages the relationship. The fanatics look at you like you're the enemy because you're "defiling" the upbringing they provided, which mostly consisted of "you can't do this" and "you can't do that." 😂 I started tuning out that kind of conditioning back in my early school days. In the world of fanatics, the rule is that a child must be obedient and humble because the elders always know better. 🙂 When you dare to disagree, they pull the "Honor thy father and mother" card from the Bible. You can never bring actual logic to the table or have even 30% of your arguments accepted, let alone talk about equality. Luckily, I don't have grandparents around to turn me into their personal hobby for psychological games.🙂
Mom and Dad were watching the Pope’s Angelus broadcast from the Vatican, and my mom turns to me and says, "Look at how many young people are there—it's like the Vatican is right in our own backyard." Most of them seemed to be young folks from developing nations, like Ecuador, Paraguay, or the Philippines 🙂
It’s a completely different worldview. Then, the moment I jokingly suggested changing the name of the "Urbi et Orbi" blessing to "Ubi et orobi," everyone immediately lost their minds 🙂
Earlier this year, they were busy spreading this whole story about some guy who wasn't religious enough, so the devil supposedly appeared to him and started smashing everything in sight 🙂