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For kids of religious fanatics

Started by gentlefalcon · · 👁 6 views · 88 replies

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Participants gentlefalconNicole JamesThomas Foster5frozenraven5dustyjackal72silentcrane11Joseph Wright4Carl Miller11Charles Doyle6Thomas Davis6Frank Booth9William Williams13swiftwolf32Dennis Collins38wanderingnomad53Morgan Rodriguez57Nicole Morales3Keith Smith3Kate James11rustymarlin322velvetranger16frozengull82Sam HayesNoah Wilson77 …
gentlefalcon gentlefalcon MemberOP
35 messages
joined Apr 2011
#41 ·
Thomas Davis6 said:😂😂
Hehe, some pretty sneaky ways to pull one over. Not bad, seriously, not bad... you little rascal...😁
That sounds like the devil whispered a few ideas into your ear just to steer you away from the "Truth" offered by the Church, sighing happily thinking, "Hehe, almost got this soul!"😁

I used to get so exhausted by all that. There were times I’d miss the Gospel on TV because I’d switch the channel too late, only to catch that one segment about the puppet. Then I’d end up spinning my own little allegories. My mom thought the Devil was living inside me. So, I started messing with her, making these huffing and puffing sounds like some demon straight out of a movie (waaaaaaaa!), and then she started lecturing me. I began acting like I was possessed. It was pointless. There was just no sense of humor there. 🤣

I could never quite grasp that sense of spiritual bliss during Mass; for me, I’d just feel sleepy, start sweating, feeling overheated. Back when I was a kid, they used to move us around to be closer to the altar, so we’d just stand there the whole time. Once, they actually had to escort me out of the church because I felt physically ill. 🙂

When it comes to any sporting event, if my mom sees someone wearing a disguise, she’s convinced they’re going to come in first, whether it's skiing or football. If it involves anyone other than Catholics, she would never say they were any good.
The reality is that most of the most successful football players are Catholic. It’s just a deep-rooted tradition in those countries; Saudi Arabia isn't exactly a powerhouse in football, and neither is China.
swiftwolf32 swiftwolf32 Newcomer
2 messages
joined Apr 2011
#42 ·
I really feel for you...
I know some hardcore religious fanatics personally—and I mean truly intense people, maybe even worse than what your parents are putting you through, though I won't go into all the specifics because my friends probably wouldn't believe me anyway. Honestly, you actually had it pretty easy compared to them. They have a twenty-five-year-old son and a twenty-three-year-old daughter, both of whom struggle with serious personality disorders, and it’s all a direct result of how they were raised... it’s honestly terrifying...
Thomas Davis6 Thomas Davis6 Member
32 messages
joined Aug 2010
#43 ·
gentlefalcon said:I used to get so exhausted by all that. There were times I’d miss the Gospel on TV because I’d switch the channel too late, only to catch that one segment about the puppet. Then I’d end up spinning my own little allegories. My mom thought the Devil was living inside me. So, I started messing with her, making these huffing and puffing sounds like some demon straight out of a movie (waaaaaaaa!), and then she started lecturing me. I began acting like I was possessed. It was pointless. There was just no sense of humor there. 🤣

I could never quite grasp that sense of spiritual bliss during Mass; for me, I’d just feel sleepy, start sweating, feeling overheated. Back when I was a kid, they used to move us around to be closer to the altar, so we’d just stand there the whole time. Once, they actually had to escort me out of the church because I felt physically ill. 🙂

When it comes to any sporting event, if my mom sees someone wearing a disguise, she’s convinced they’re going to come in first, whether it's skiing or football. If it involves anyone other than Catholics, she would never say they were any good.
The reality is that most of the most successful football players are Catholic. It’s just a deep-rooted tradition in those countries; Saudi Arabia isn't exactly a powerhouse in football, and neither is China.

😂😂
Haha, if you're feeling creative enough, you should try reenacting that scene from The Exorcist where little Reagan crawls down the stairs like a spider..😁
Then maybe the joke would actually land.. man, you really have it rough.. I mean, you put on some nice deodorant and a clean shirt, and she just ruins it all with holy water.. very, very bad.. but hey, at least you still have a sense of humor, even if your mom's humor is basically dead on arrival..
William Williams13, I don't belong to any specific religion, but I read a lot about different beliefs that pique my interest and offer a fresh take on spirituality.
If gentlefalcon's parents had one conversation with me, they'd probably call the most famous exorcist in the world.. after that, they'd likely burn through a gallon of holy water trying to "cleanse" the spot where I was sitting.. there'd probably be a flood.
gentlefalcon gentlefalcon MemberOP
35 messages
joined Apr 2011
#44 ·
swiftwolf32 said:I really feel for you...
I know some hardcore religious fanatics personally—and I mean truly intense people, maybe even worse than what your parents are putting you through, though I won't go into all the specifics because my friends probably wouldn't believe me anyway. Honestly, you actually had it pretty easy compared to them. They have a twenty-five-year-old son and a twenty-three-year-old daughter, both of whom struggle with serious personality disorders, and it’s all a direct result of how they were raised... it’s honestly terrifying...

If I didn't have a personality or any ability to think for myself, who knows what kind of mess I'd be today.
But even now, I find myself developing this deep aversion to marriage, simply because my mother would insist my wife be some Catholic fanatic just to keep her happy and ensure I "find happiness."
It’s as if the local parish is filled with stunning, Amazonian maidens just waiting to make me the happiest man alive. If that were actually the case, I wouldn't mind at all if she were Catholic. 😁
In reality, it's usually the exact opposite: they are dull, unattractive, uninteresting, and completely bland. But hey, they check all the boxes at Mass. According to my mother's logic, the perfect women for me are the ones sitting in the pews every Sunday, and if they happen to be ugly, well, she just says God made them that way.
My dad lucked out; he found a beautiful, devout woman who handles everything while he does absolutely nothing. As for me, I'm stuck looking at the church choir geek who giggles aimlessly every five minutes. But apparently, they’re all just "saving themselves" for someone special. 🤣 Naturally, that's just code for when nobody else wants them.☕ They just rebrand their failed attempts at dating as being "waiting for the One."

Why are they in the hospital? Did they spiral into some sort of vice and end up in rehab? You don't need to give names.
William Williams13 William Williams13 Member
11 messages
joined Apr 2011
#45 ·
The distinction between being religious and being spiritual—and how people constantly conflate the two—is an age-old conundrum. Just look at how things stood during Jesus' era compared to where we've ended up today; it’s quite a journey when you think about it.🙂
William Williams13 William Williams13 Member
11 messages
joined Apr 2011
#46 ·
I truly feel for that young man. It’s such a shame his parents didn't pass down a genuine, heartfelt love for Christ, choosing instead to spend all their energy on what people call "performing" rituals at the altar rather than actually living the faith...🙂
gentlefalcon gentlefalcon MemberOP
35 messages
joined Apr 2011
#47 ·
Thomas Davis6 said:😂😂
Haha, if you're feeling creative enough, you should try reenacting that scene from The Exorcist where little Reagan crawls down the stairs like a spider..😁
Then maybe the joke would actually land.. man, you really have it rough.. I mean, you put on some nice deodorant and a clean shirt, and she just ruins it all with holy water.. very, very bad.. but hey, at least you still have a sense of humor, even if your mom's humor is basically dead on arrival..
William Williams13, I don't belong to any specific religion, but I read a lot about different beliefs that pique my interest and offer a fresh take on spirituality.
If gentlefalcon's parents had one conversation with me, they'd probably call the most famous exorcist in the world.. after that, they'd likely burn through a gallon of holy water trying to "cleanse" the spot where I was sitting.. there'd probably be a flood.

And end up in a wheelchair at this rate. 😁 My mom’s sense of humor is just impossible to grasp; her whole life revolves around gossiping, talking trash, and judging everyone. Maybe by the time she retires, she might actually realize what life is actually about. ☕
The holy water doesn't bother me; it was just my own little act of rebellion, a way to give it back to her after all those years of being forced to go to Church.

Back when I was starting school, the schools were just as religiously fanatical. It was the same story there—always having to hide who I truly was. Those religious teachers were just so exhausting, like these pale, rigid nuns.

Basically, what awaits me is a session with a psychologist. "If you won't come here willingly, I'll bring the authorities to your house and let them decide what to do with you."

It's interesting how her son is also highly educated and successful in his exams, but according to her, I'm only successful because Mom prays for me. Most of the time, I knew kids from super devout families who would fail a grade, but try telling that to my mother.
I know seven or eight people who almost dropped out of college entirely, yet they are absolute religious fanatics. They go to all sorts of events—Catholic Youth groups, whatever those organizations are called.
gentlefalcon gentlefalcon MemberOP
35 messages
joined Apr 2011
#48 ·
William Williams13 said:I truly feel for that young man. It’s such a shame his parents didn't pass down a genuine, heartfelt love for Christ, choosing instead to spend all their energy on what people call "performing" rituals at the altar rather than actually living the faith...🙂

Believe me, they’re giving me more information than I could ever possibly need. 😁 I wouldn't go so far as to call myself an atheist. It’s not that I have some deep-seated ideological grudge against religion; honestly, I’m just too lazy to deal with all that ritualistic baggage. I never find myself cursing God, unlike certain people who make a show of attending Mass every single Sunday just to prove how pious they are. For me, it’s simpler than that—I just can't be bothered to show up.

Take my mom, for instance. She’s absolutely sucked into shows like Big Brother, The Farm, or those trashy segments in In Magazine—it's basically a masterclass in how to strip away every ounce of civilization. When I call her out on it and suggest she should probably steer clear of that nonsense, regardless of what the Catholic Youth might say about it, she just gives me this look and says, "Who, me? I'm not watching for fun! I'm just sitting here observing how incredibly clueless everyone is."

She’s constantly tearing into those Villains and that whole Good Night show, especially after catching Bozanica in a swimsuit applying tanning lotion to Renata Sopek.
swiftwolf32 swiftwolf32 Newcomer
2 messages
joined Apr 2011
#49 ·
They’re staying in the hospital because they honestly can't face reality; they've been so brainwashed into believing they’re completely incapable of living a normal life outside the church. While their son might actually pull through this, I don't think there's any saving the parents. To give you some context, I'm actually the girlfriend of the guy currently in the hospital, and even better, I'm an atheist, a declared 🙂
Here are just a few examples of their extreme fanaticism:
1. There isn't a single family photo in their entire apartment, just pictures of saints everywhere.
2. I counted about 40 rosaries scattered all over the place along with several crosses.
3. Whenever they aren't at work, they’re either listening to Catholic radio or attending Mass.
4. They have religious magnets all over the fridge—I’m half afraid I’ll catch fire just trying to grab a snack.😁
5. They never miss a service; if they ever have to choose between visiting their child in the hospital and going to Mass, they'll pick the Mass every single time.
6. When one of them takes a turn for the worse, the first person they call is a priest, not a doctor.
7. The very first thing they brought for their daughter at the hospital was a rosary, rather than actual food or anything useful.
8. When I told them I was an atheist, they organized a prayer session specifically to convert me, and when that didn't work, they switched to praying that their son would break up with me.
9. Even their own priest admitted that they are mentally unstable and don't actually understand true faith.
10. Their daughter is totally repressed; she won't have sex before marriage, she's marrying someone she barely knows, and her journal is filled with pages of "Jesus, I love you" and things like that.
11. Right now, I'm sitting here reading R. d. iluzija about God, which is strictly forbidden for me to read while I'm sitting by my boyfriend's side.
12. Their logic is basically: "The kids are sick because God is testing them; He won't give them a harder cross to bear than they can handle, so they're fine and we don't need to worry."
13. The only literature in the entire house is religious; they have at least ten different Bibles.
etc, etc, etc...
Honestly, you're being quite generous...
Frank Booth9 Frank Booth9 Member
30 messages
joined Apr 2011
#50 ·
gentlefalcon said:Why do you say: thank God I don't live with my grandma? 😁 I'd love to see you try living with a fanatic in your own family. You act exactly like I do; it's just that nobody calls you out on it. I'd happily spend my Sundays at home quietly praying and watching Formula 1. You have no idea what I'm talking about. I'm talking about a mother who is a fanatic believer and can't wrap her head around the fact that her son won't step foot in a church.
When I was a kid, I was constantly asking my mom, "Mom, how much longer do we have to be here?" and nothing worked. 😂 Do you really think I'm some pushover who just takes whatever my mother throws at me? I'm actually looking forward to this upcoming Easter and my latest attempts at redeeming my sinful soul. ☕

And after Easter, I'll probably be quiet again: "Nobody is forcing you." And then I'll be labeled a fanatic for my lack of faith. 👍

Take my refusal to be a godmother at a First Communion, for example. In our circles, godparents are almost always chosen from well-to-do families, so accepting would basically mean a lifetime of buying expensive gifts for some quasi-religious person.🤣

Honestly, the whole idea of marriage isn't even appealing to me anymore. My mom is basically waiting for me to settle down with some "practical" devout woman, but let's be real—those types are usually boring and, frankly, not much to look at. It’s like trying to find a decent meal in a desert 🙄
If I went that route, I'd just be circling back to the exact same headache. If I marry someone who isn't Catholic, my family loses it; but if I marry someone who shares my actual views, then I'm still facing an uphill battle.

Take my parents, for example. They see people showing up at church processions who haven't stepped foot in a sanctuary since the nineties, suddenly acting all pious. And then they turn that judgment on me: "You're going to follow suit; you'll be crawling through those church doors soon enough." 😁

So, I tell them straight: "Look, I've already been part of the Church, and quite frankly, I don't care for the crowd there. Most of them have questionable backgrounds—people living double lives, pretending to be one thing publicly while hiding their real lives under different addresses."

My mom, for instance, thinks self-flagellation is perfectly normal behavior. She actually believes scientists have uncovered actual nails from the cross of Jesus from two millennia ago.

There's a reason I say this about my grandma xD
I adore my grandma, and that's specifically because I don't live with her 😁 ... when I see my cousins who do live with her and how they treat her—acting all saintly, going to mass, pretending they aren't swearing their heads off—they are the complete opposite of me. At least I'm polite to her and don't act the way they do, but they act "good" and "sweet," whereas if I acted half as bad as they do, I'd be grounded instantly... just because of who I am. I can say my grandma is a religious fanatic. She once told me she'd be happy if my boyfriend was a believer xD I couldn't stop laughing. She asks me about him again, and I just talk to my cousin (who is also a fanatic) about how his boyfriend is ten years older... (I really wonder if they've already hooked up or if they're waiting for marriage XD, I'm such a jerk...). I told her to invite him over so he could meet us, and she hasn't asked again..

See, we clearly aren't the same. A few years ago, there was a mass for my grandpa. I told my mom I'd go, she woke me up in the morning, and I just felt like joking and saying I wasn't going xD Of course, it upset her, and we ended up arguing. I won't budge; I'm stubborn like a mule. She even threatened to stop doing my laundry (she knows I hate ironing), but I still didn't go to the mass. When I make up my mind, that's it. No matter what anyone tries to force on me, if I don't feel like it, I'm not doing it. I have my own views, and my family knows I'm stubborn, so they don't try to push me. And who says I don't have fanatics in my family? Maybe I'm a fanatic for vampires or something xD Either way, we agree on one thing: they don't force their stuff on me, and I don't nag them about mine. We have other things to talk about, and there's peace. No, I really don't know what you're talking about... I have plenty of friends and neighbors around me who are just like you. I can tolerate the old folks on Sundays; they go to mass and that's fine.
Look, once you realized that trick wasn't working, you should've just roasted her like I did mine XD. Though honestly, I don't even see what the big deal was—she basically said not everyone needs to know Dad did the cooking LOL

It’s obvious you're dealing with your mom and you've finally hit a breaking point. Just let it go. Unplug. I don't know how else to put this XD. Accept that she can't make peace with the fact that you aren't a believer, and eventually, she'll have to accept it too. When you fight with her like this, all she thinks is there's still hope you'll change your mind and join her side..

And how exactly are you "dying in misery" at home on Sundays if your parents are at Mass? If they aren't there, you're just home alone having some peace.. right??

We already established your mom isn't exactly sane. You talk about her like she's some high-level terrorist xD. Aren't you supposed to be a fanatic about being an unbeliever? Just pick a side already.

Regarding picking godparents for Christmas, that's how it's done everywhere, but I see it differently. I didn't choose my godmother that way, but after four years of being godparents, we don't even say hi when we pass each other (but she's a special case).. That's why I try to be a real godmother to this girl. If she needs me, I'm there. I'm not going to be like mine..
gentlefalcon gentlefalcon MemberOP
35 messages
joined Apr 2011
#51 ·
swiftwolf32 said:They’re staying in the hospital because they honestly can't face reality; they've been so brainwashed into believing they’re completely incapable of living a normal life outside the church. While their son might actually pull through this, I don't think there's any saving the parents. To give you some context, I'm actually the girlfriend of the guy currently in the hospital, and even better, I'm an atheist, a declared 🙂
Here are just a few examples of their extreme fanaticism:
1. There isn't a single family photo in their entire apartment, just pictures of saints everywhere.
2. I counted about 40 rosaries scattered all over the place along with several crosses.
3. Whenever they aren't at work, they’re either listening to Catholic radio or attending Mass.
4. They have religious magnets all over the fridge—I’m half afraid I’ll catch fire just trying to grab a snack.😁
5. They never miss a service; if they ever have to choose between visiting their child in the hospital and going to Mass, they'll pick the Mass every single time.
6. When one of them takes a turn for the worse, the first person they call is a priest, not a doctor.
7. The very first thing they brought for their daughter at the hospital was a rosary, rather than actual food or anything useful.
8. When I told them I was an atheist, they organized a prayer session specifically to convert me, and when that didn't work, they switched to praying that their son would break up with me.
9. Even their own priest admitted that they are mentally unstable and don't actually understand true faith.
10. Their daughter is totally repressed; she won't have sex before marriage, she's marrying someone she barely knows, and her journal is filled with pages of "Jesus, I love you" and things like that.
11. Right now, I'm sitting here reading R. d. iluzija about God, which is strictly forbidden for me to read while I'm sitting by my boyfriend's side.
12. Their logic is basically: "The kids are sick because God is testing them; He won't give them a harder cross to bear than they can handle, so they're fine and we don't need to worry."
13. The only literature in the entire house is religious; they have at least ten different Bibles.
etc, etc, etc...
Honestly, you're being quite generous...

1. In my house, it's all crucifixes, statues, and souvenirs from every possible pilgrimage—about 20 different pieces. We don't have as many rosaries, but my mom keeps a few. The weirdest part is that they actually cost money, yet everything is cheap, low-quality junk made in China.
2. My folks listen to Radio Maria, the peace of Medjugorje broadcasts, and Catholic radio. They’ll bring up some actor like Rajk Bundalo, saying he reached out to them, and then they wonder why I'm not following suit—as if being an actor means you automatically have a divine career path.
They also mention some actress who went off to live in a strict convent in Spain, and then they drift into talking about politicians.
3. We have a religious magnet on the fridge, a little metal thermometer that stays at 28°C regardless of whether it's summer or winter; it basically claims it's always hot in here.😁
4. Mass is non-negotiable. Mom will go to the May devotions, and she'll be there for the October ones too.😁 They even go to Mass when they're on vacation; if they travel somewhere like the USA, South America, they spend the whole trip just looking for a place to attend Mass, even if it’s in Spanish, which they don't even speak. But they'll find it. Of course, they immediately look for American churches or Catholic missions. I’ve actually given up on traveling with them—imagine trying to visit the USA, South America, Australia, Thailand, or Europe with people like that.☕ I just don't have the energy. On any tourist map, the first thing they look for is a church.

6. What happens if they get sick? A sudden flare-up, a fever, a cold?

7. On Facebook, you see endless groups of religious people posting updates and hitting "Like" on everything. When I think about it seriously, religious fanaticism is everywhere around me, not just with my mother.
8. My family also believes that if someone gets cancer, a stroke, or a heart attack, it's because they didn't pray enough. Given how often we argue, it wouldn't surprise me if I ended up with something similar just from the stress.🙄 My parents are total believers in those religious remedies—you know, those "God’s pharmacy" herbal teas. They actually pushed two different blends on me back in the day, and being naive, I drank them. But when nothing changed and I didn't feel any better, they hit me with that classic line: "If you had just had more faith, it would have worked." Look, I was just a kid then; there is absolutely no way I'm sitting around sipping herbal tea today.

9. My mom started reading the Bible—specifically one of those Jerusalem editions—but she hasn't finished it because she complains about the tiny font size. 😂 Apparently, though, she managed to get through the red one. Now they spend money on all these niche religious magazines and pamphlets; honestly, it’s just pure nonsense. 🤣 There used to be this old publication called Cana with terrible print quality, yet somehow it cost more than your average daily newspaper. Take that Blessed column, for instance. Has anyone actually read that idiocy? It features kids asking nonsensical questions, like "How many people are living on Earth?" and he responds with, "I'll let you know once I finish counting." That's the level of depth we're dealing with.

http://gkonline.info/mak/mak_08_2011/

My mom used to buy all that stuff for me to read when I was fifteen or sixteen, even though I kept telling her it was boring and useless. Of course, she doesn't want to hear that. 😁
My own mother spends hundreds of dollars on religious materials too—Catechisms, two different Bibles, various manuals about bishops and priests, pocket editions, Catholic calendars... it all adds up. She isn't much different from her own parents; the only difference is that I am nowhere near as accepting of this fanaticism as their children are. 🤣
Sometimes I wonder if it's better to just bite my tongue and go to Mass just to keep the peace, or stay home and deal with the constant arguing. Neither option feels right to me. ☕
Frank Booth9 Frank Booth9 Member
30 messages
joined Apr 2011
#52 ·
Since you’re such a saint, you should just adopt a kid from Africa and spend your money on them instead of whatever this is xD
surely they'll make it straight to heaven right away..🤣
gentlefalcon gentlefalcon MemberOP
35 messages
joined Apr 2011
#53 ·
swiftwolf32 said:They’re staying in the hospital because they honestly can't face reality; they've been so brainwashed into believing they’re completely incapable of living a normal life outside the church. While their son might actually pull through this, I don't think there's any saving the parents. To give you some context, I'm actually the girlfriend of the guy currently in the hospital, and even better, I'm an atheist, a declared 🙂
Here are just a few examples of their extreme fanaticism:
1. There isn't a single family photo in their entire apartment, just pictures of saints everywhere.
2. I counted about 40 rosaries scattered all over the place along with several crosses.
3. Whenever they aren't at work, they’re either listening to Catholic radio or attending Mass.
4. They have religious magnets all over the fridge—I’m half afraid I’ll catch fire just trying to grab a snack.😁
5. They never miss a service; if they ever have to choose between visiting their child in the hospital and going to Mass, they'll pick the Mass every single time.
6. When one of them takes a turn for the worse, the first person they call is a priest, not a doctor.
7. The very first thing they brought for their daughter at the hospital was a rosary, rather than actual food or anything useful.
8. When I told them I was an atheist, they organized a prayer session specifically to convert me, and when that didn't work, they switched to praying that their son would break up with me.
9. Even their own priest admitted that they are mentally unstable and don't actually understand true faith.
10. Their daughter is totally repressed; she won't have sex before marriage, she's marrying someone she barely knows, and her journal is filled with pages of "Jesus, I love you" and things like that.
11. Right now, I'm sitting here reading R. d. iluzija about God, which is strictly forbidden for me to read while I'm sitting by my boyfriend's side.
12. Their logic is basically: "The kids are sick because God is testing them; He won't give them a harder cross to bear than they can handle, so they're fine and we don't need to worry."
13. The only literature in the entire house is religious; they have at least ten different Bibles.
etc, etc, etc...
Honestly, you're being quite generous...

It started happening in my room too—all these little gifts they’d bring me from pilgrimages. Eventually, there was just no more room left, so one day I finally handed everything back to them. Now, the only thing I have in my room is a single crucifix that I feel like I’m not even allowed to take down.🙂

They mostly go for statues and various decorative items; if it isn't a crucifix or a full-blown statue, they don't care much for it. Even portraits of the former Pope aren't treated with much reverence because they aren't "the" specific kind they look for.😁
They buy these power-infused statues, things made of rubber or plastic that actually have holy water sealed inside them, and a single one of those can run you $20.🤣
My mom even asked me, "Why don't you try reading the Bible like a normal person would?"
gentlefalcon gentlefalcon MemberOP
35 messages
joined Apr 2011
#54 ·
Frank Booth9 said:Since you’re such a saint, you should just adopt a kid from Africa and spend your money on them instead of whatever this is xD
surely they'll make it straight to heaven right away..🤣

She brings up this same line all the time: "It would have been better if I'd chosen a modest, good, obedient child—one who wouldn't speak out against the faith, but would actually be grateful to me later." 🤣
It's like she wants a child made of clay, someone she can mold entirely to her own whims. I finally started breaking free from those jaws when I was about eight or nine. Even before I started school, I remember resisting going, so they’d try to bribe me with ice cream after Mass. Back then, I felt like I had some semblance of choice. 😁

But since my mom raised me to be prayerful, it became a bit of a performance whenever our fanatical relatives came over; I was expected to show off how much I knew. It was a disaster. While other kids were busy singing songs by Lepa Brena, I was being paraded around, reciting prayers in front of everyone. 🙂
Mom truly believes that donating money to the Church is a fast track to heaven. She even tried to pitch it to me: "Now that you're an adult, why don't you set aside something for the Church? I see some of your old classmates from elementary school contributing, and you're the same age." 🙂
Frank Booth9 Frank Booth9 Member
30 messages
joined Apr 2011
#55 ·
gentlefalcon said:She brings up this same line all the time: "It would have been better if I'd chosen a modest, good, obedient child—one who wouldn't speak out against the faith, but would actually be grateful to me later." 🤣
It's like she wants a child made of clay, someone she can mold entirely to her own whims. I finally started breaking free from those jaws when I was about eight or nine. Even before I started school, I remember resisting going, so they’d try to bribe me with ice cream after Mass. Back then, I felt like I had some semblance of choice. 😁

But since my mom raised me to be prayerful, it became a bit of a performance whenever our fanatical relatives came over; I was expected to show off how much I knew. It was a disaster. While other kids were busy singing songs by Lepa Brena, I was being paraded around, reciting prayers in front of everyone. 🙂
Mom truly believes that donating money to the Church is a fast track to heaven. She even tried to pitch it to me: "Now that you're an adult, why don't you set aside something for the Church? I see some of your old classmates from elementary school contributing, and you're the same age." 🙂

Haha, you're a total joke.

Honestly, you remind me so much of my little nephew. A few weeks back, he was actually praying to his guardian angel... haha. I went to Mass this Sunday and spent the whole time just watching my niece. I didn't hear a single word of the sermon. Total waste of time sitting there for an hour and a half. It feels silly—they bring these little kids to church, then expect them to be quiet. I tell them to settle down, and they actually listen (well, except for my niece, who wouldn't stop crying). Kids like that would have fit right in with your mom. xD

You're too obsessed with faith and all that stuff. That’s exactly why you've turned out this way. They pushed it down your throat way too hard.

My folks aren't fanatics. My dad especially isn't. But they believe. They believe in God, and I do too. Still, I'm not about shoving it in people's faces or acting like I have to be at Mass every single Sunday. No way. I might go to confession maybe twice in two years, tops. Then I hear about people who go every two weeks thinking they're the ultimate believers... meanwhile, they've probably sinned more than I ever have.🤣
gentlefalcon gentlefalcon MemberOP
35 messages
joined Apr 2011
#56 ·
Frank Booth9 said:There's a reason I say this about my grandma xD
I adore my grandma, and that's specifically because I don't live with her 😁 ... when I see my cousins who do live with her and how they treat her—acting all saintly, going to mass, pretending they aren't swearing their heads off—they are the complete opposite of me. At least I'm polite to her and don't act the way they do, but they act "good" and "sweet," whereas if I acted half as bad as they do, I'd be grounded instantly... just because of who I am. I can say my grandma is a religious fanatic. She once told me she'd be happy if my boyfriend was a believer xD I couldn't stop laughing. She asks me about him again, and I just talk to my cousin (who is also a fanatic) about how his boyfriend is ten years older... (I really wonder if they've already hooked up or if they're waiting for marriage XD, I'm such a jerk...). I told her to invite him over so he could meet us, and she hasn't asked again..

See, we clearly aren't the same. A few years ago, there was a mass for my grandpa. I told my mom I'd go, she woke me up in the morning, and I just felt like joking and saying I wasn't going xD Of course, it upset her, and we ended up arguing. I won't budge; I'm stubborn like a mule. She even threatened to stop doing my laundry (she knows I hate ironing), but I still didn't go to the mass. When I make up my mind, that's it. No matter what anyone tries to force on me, if I don't feel like it, I'm not doing it. I have my own views, and my family knows I'm stubborn, so they don't try to push me. And who says I don't have fanatics in my family? Maybe I'm a fanatic for vampires or something xD Either way, we agree on one thing: they don't force their stuff on me, and I don't nag them about mine. We have other things to talk about, and there's peace. No, I really don't know what you're talking about... I have plenty of friends and neighbors around me who are just like you. I can tolerate the old folks on Sundays; they go to mass and that's fine.
Look, once you realized that trick wasn't working, you should've just roasted her like I did mine XD. Though honestly, I don't even see what the big deal was—she basically said not everyone needs to know Dad did the cooking LOL

It’s obvious you're dealing with your mom and you've finally hit a breaking point. Just let it go. Unplug. I don't know how else to put this XD. Accept that she can't make peace with the fact that you aren't a believer, and eventually, she'll have to accept it too. When you fight with her like this, all she thinks is there's still hope you'll change your mind and join her side..

And how exactly are you "dying in misery" at home on Sundays if your parents are at Mass? If they aren't there, you're just home alone having some peace.. right??

We already established your mom isn't exactly sane. You talk about her like she's some high-level terrorist xD. Aren't you supposed to be a fanatic about being an unbeliever? Just pick a side already.

Regarding picking godparents for Christmas, that's how it's done everywhere, but I see it differently. I didn't choose my godmother that way, but after four years of being godparents, we don't even say hi when we pass each other (but she's a special case).. That's why I try to be a real godmother to this girl. If she needs me, I'm there. I'm not going to be like mine..

My grandmother was a total fanatic too, but honestly, who cares? As long as she isn't breathing down my neck about it, I couldn't care less. 🙂 I didn't even bother showing up to her funeral. 🙄

It was honestly probably best that I sat my mom down and showed her those photos from Facebook—you know, the ones featuring her "devout" little nieces. 😂 It was pure chaos—everyone was drunk, cigarettes were everywhere, and there was booze spilled all over the table. She looked at me and said, "Well, maybe she just grabbed a cigarette as a joke."
That was the breaking point for me. Honestly, I have zero desire to deal with most of my relatives right now. 😂 My dad doesn't just nag me; he snaps at Mom too, acting like a total zealot, which then triggers her, because she feels like he isn't standing up for her—so then Dad just gives up on both of us, though he usually ends up siding with her. To be honest, I don't really care; I’m just taking a stand against everyone. 😁

I can't exactly embarrass my mother, especially since there aren't many famous people around there anyway. I could potentially make a scene during some pilgrimage, but I'm way too old for that; if I did, the entire bus would just look at me like I’m some complete idiot.

I try to be home on Sundays, but Mom gets all worked up if I'm not there. For instance, if she goes to Mass on Sunday, she’ll sit there watching the service on TV just to see which parish they belong to. 😂

If your cousin is still stuck in that mindset, then she's basically a lost cause. 😁 When certain Catholic women get consumed by their fervor, they become like hermits in chains—completely disoriented and frantic, particularly those who have been waiting for a sign for ages. I embarrassed her when I was a kid, and while she didn't lash out at me directly, it frequently manifested in how she handled our finances. 😁 I have a tendency to spend quite a bit; for a while, I forced myself to attend Mass, but eventually, I just couldn't bring myself to do it anymore.

I haven't seen my godfather since I was three or four years old, and I definitely haven't seen my confirmation sponsor in at least six years. 😂 And frankly, I don't give a damn, because both of them were essentially choices made by my parents, not me.

Someone else's fanaticism doesn't bother me at all, as long as it stays away from my life. But then there's Mom, getting ready for some pilgrimage and asking, "Wouldn't you want to come with us, just to see?"
I've never been on a pilgrimage. Nor would I ever want to go. Before I encountered this kind of fanaticism, I wasn't even a "fanatical" non-believer, but eventually, you become one because it's impossible to defend your position in any civilized way. They take a simple "No!" as nothing more than a temporary moment of confusion. That's a hallmark of a cult—when someone constantly tries to "lead you back to the right path."

A massive number of different factions have emerged within the Catholic Church that carry all the distinct traits of a cult. At least, that's how it looks to me.
gentlefalcon gentlefalcon MemberOP
35 messages
joined Apr 2011
#57 ·
Frank Booth9 said:Haha, you're a total joke.

Honestly, you remind me so much of my little nephew. A few weeks back, he was actually praying to his guardian angel... haha. I went to Mass this Sunday and spent the whole time just watching my niece. I didn't hear a single word of the sermon. Total waste of time sitting there for an hour and a half. It feels silly—they bring these little kids to church, then expect them to be quiet. I tell them to settle down, and they actually listen (well, except for my niece, who wouldn't stop crying). Kids like that would have fit right in with your mom. xD

You're too obsessed with faith and all that stuff. That’s exactly why you've turned out this way. They pushed it down your throat way too hard.

My folks aren't fanatics. My dad especially isn't. But they believe. They believe in God, and I do too. Still, I'm not about shoving it in people's faces or acting like I have to be at Mass every single Sunday. No way. I might go to confession maybe twice in two years, tops. Then I hear about people who go every two weeks thinking they're the ultimate believers... meanwhile, they've probably sinned more than I ever have.🤣

When I was a kid, I was forced to pray too. I remember this random guy coming over once to give me "instructions." I was struggling with a certain subject in school, and they brought this guy in to explain things to me, just enough to get me through second grade.

So he shows up, the church bells are ringing to signal noon, and he just stands up and tells me, "Let's say a Hail Mary." My parents had no clue who this guy was or what his deal was. I just stood up and said a prayer, hoping he'd at least explain the logic behind it. I couldn't even understand him as an instructor; in fact, after giving his "lessons," he started criticizing my parents, lecturing them about why they buy me nice things like computers and cell phones instead of making me earn everything myself.

I haven't been to confession in maybe six years. I just don't have the heart to sit there and talk about things like browsing through simple magazines, looking at girls inappropriately, dealing with impure thoughts, or whether I respect my teachers, my parents, or my religious instructor. Honestly, I'm dying of laughter inside the confessional. I always used to pick the booth where the priest is totally closed off. It’s impossible; I look at a Durex ad and I've already doubled my sins, considering the entire purpose of Durex is protection. What am I supposed to do when an ad pops up unannounced? According to their logic, I should be in bed by 8 PM and avoid anything rated for 12 or 15-year-olds. And heaven forbid I watch a music video by Madonna, Beyoncé, or Gaga.

And then it goes: "Have you stolen anything? Have you lied?" He explains it all to me with such serious, constructive gravity. Then my mom passes it on, telling me what the priests tell her—that I'm not "normal" because I don't go to church. Or maybe she's just making it up, hoping I'll finally see authority in the priests and their grueling education, I don't know. 🤷
Dennis Collins38 Dennis Collins38 Newcomer
9 messages
joined Apr 2011
#58 ·
gentlefalcon said:If I didn't have a personality or any ability to think for myself, who knows what kind of mess I'd be today.
But even now, I find myself developing this deep aversion to marriage, simply because my mother would insist my wife be some Catholic fanatic just to keep her happy and ensure I "find happiness."
It’s as if the local parish is filled with stunning, Amazonian maidens just waiting to make me the happiest man alive. If that were actually the case, I wouldn't mind at all if she were Catholic. 😁
In reality, it's usually the exact opposite: they are dull, unattractive, uninteresting, and completely bland. But hey, they check all the boxes at Mass. According to my mother's logic, the perfect women for me are the ones sitting in the pews every Sunday, and if they happen to be ugly, well, she just says God made them that way.
My dad lucked out; he found a beautiful, devout woman who handles everything while he does absolutely nothing. As for me, I'm stuck looking at the church choir geek who giggles aimlessly every five minutes. But apparently, they’re all just "saving themselves" for someone special. 🤣 Naturally, that's just code for when nobody else wants them.☕ They just rebrand their failed attempts at dating as being "waiting for the One."

Why are they in the hospital? Did they spiral into some sort of vice and end up in rehab? You don't need to give names.

It looks to me like you have a much deeper issue than it seems at first glance. Marriage isn't a bad thing if you're with someone you actually love. Having anyone else meddle in your choice of a partner is just terrible. If your mother keeps pushing those church-dwelling nobodies on you, tell her she's more than welcome to sacrifice herself and marry one of them. Pick your own woman, get married, and move out. It’ll be chaotic at first, but things eventually settle down. It took ten years for my situation to stabilize, but it did. There was blackmail, whining, guilt-tripping, the whole "you don't love me" routine—the entire manipulative playbook... but now, she's quiet as a mouse.
gentlefalcon gentlefalcon MemberOP
35 messages
joined Apr 2011
#59 ·
Dennis Collins38 said:It looks to me like you have a much deeper issue than it seems at first glance. Marriage isn't a bad thing if you're with someone you actually love. Having anyone else meddle in your choice of a partner is just terrible. If your mother keeps pushing those church-dwelling nobodies on you, tell her she's more than welcome to sacrifice herself and marry one of them. Pick your own woman, get married, and move out. It’ll be chaotic at first, but things eventually settle down. It took ten years for my situation to stabilize, but it did. There was blackmail, whining, guilt-tripping, the whole "you don't love me" routine—the entire manipulative playbook... but now, she's quiet as a mouse.

My family wouldn't be too thrilled if my wife turned out to be an atheist or followed some other religion. 😁
I honestly find those hypocritical girls—the ones who claim they are "saving themselves" for someone special when nobody has even approached them by age thirty—to be totally fake. My mom wouldn't necessarily dictate who I marry in the sense of saying, "You must pick this specific person," but she definitely has a very specific "type." For her, physical beauty or education isn't the priority; it's all about being devout and smart. ☕
For me, the criteria are different: I want someone attractive, intelligent, educated, and capable of running a household.

I don't see these girls at the local church, but I see them everywhere during parish fundraisers. And whenever I see one, my mom immediately jumps in with, "See how polite and well-behaved she is!" To which I usually respond that she’s probably just some lonely loser who goes to church because she has absolutely no social life.
Besides, kids hanging around priests seem incredibly dull; some of them are even considering entering the priesthood, which adds this weird, stifling layer of youth to the environment.

Let's be real: my mother tries to manipulate me constantly. That is a fact.
It’s subtle, too. It sounds like: "You can make your own decisions, obviously; nobody is forcing you. It's just that if someone like you were part of our family, things would be different. We are traditional people, after all."

It’s that cult-like recruitment style: "Why don't you try reading just one passage from the Bible a day? Go to religious ed at the parish, join the choir... you'll see, they travel so much and have so much fun together." 🤣

And what kind of "fun" are we talking about? Five hours spent with three priests, two seminarians, and ten altar servers who are constantly giggling, all while sipping rosehip tea and eating store-bought cookies. ☕

Back when they used to host youth retreats and young people would visit from other countries, my mom suggested I host a few kids overnight and show them around town. They told everyone in the parish that if anyone had the space or the means, they should take them in. I told her straight up: "Fine, you host all ten of them, you take them out for ice cream, I couldn't care less." She hit me with, "Well, I'm working, and you have all this free time." I told her: "I want to use my free time how I please. I’d much rather lounge around the house than play tour guide to some kids from Poland or the Czech Republic."

It’s honestly ridiculous, these manipulative phases. And it definitely damages the relationship. The fanatics look at you like you're the enemy because you're "defiling" the upbringing they provided, which mostly consisted of "you can't do this" and "you can't do that." 😂 I started tuning out that kind of conditioning back in my early school days. In the world of fanatics, the rule is that a child must be obedient and humble because the elders always know better. 🙂 When you dare to disagree, they pull the "Honor thy father and mother" card from the Bible. You can never bring actual logic to the table or have even 30% of your arguments accepted, let alone talk about equality. Luckily, I don't have grandparents around to turn me into their personal hobby for psychological games.🙂

Mom and Dad were watching the Pope’s Angelus broadcast from the Vatican, and my mom turns to me and says, "Look at how many young people are there—it's like the Vatican is right in our own backyard." Most of them seemed to be young folks from developing nations, like Ecuador, Paraguay, or the Philippines 🙂
It’s a completely different worldview. Then, the moment I jokingly suggested changing the name of the "Urbi et Orbi" blessing to "Ubi et orobi," everyone immediately lost their minds 🙂

Earlier this year, they were busy spreading this whole story about some guy who wasn't religious enough, so the devil supposedly appeared to him and started smashing everything in sight 🙂
Dennis Collins38 Dennis Collins38 Newcomer
9 messages
joined Apr 2011
#60 ·
gentlefalcon said:My family wouldn't be too thrilled if my wife turned out to be an atheist or followed some other religion. 😁
I honestly find those hypocritical girls—the ones who claim they are "saving themselves" for someone special when nobody has even approached them by age thirty—to be totally fake. My mom wouldn't necessarily dictate who I marry in the sense of saying, "You must pick this specific person," but she definitely has a very specific "type." For her, physical beauty or education isn't the priority; it's all about being devout and smart. ☕
For me, the criteria are different: I want someone attractive, intelligent, educated, and capable of running a household.

I don't see these girls at the local church, but I see them everywhere during parish fundraisers. And whenever I see one, my mom immediately jumps in with, "See how polite and well-behaved she is!" To which I usually respond that she’s probably just some lonely loser who goes to church because she has absolutely no social life.
Besides, kids hanging around priests seem incredibly dull; some of them are even considering entering the priesthood, which adds this weird, stifling layer of youth to the environment.

Let's be real: my mother tries to manipulate me constantly. That is a fact.
It’s subtle, too. It sounds like: "You can make your own decisions, obviously; nobody is forcing you. It's just that if someone like you were part of our family, things would be different. We are traditional people, after all."

It’s that cult-like recruitment style: "Why don't you try reading just one passage from the Bible a day? Go to religious ed at the parish, join the choir... you'll see, they travel so much and have so much fun together." 🤣

And what kind of "fun" are we talking about? Five hours spent with three priests, two seminarians, and ten altar servers who are constantly giggling, all while sipping rosehip tea and eating store-bought cookies. ☕

Back when they used to host youth retreats and young people would visit from other countries, my mom suggested I host a few kids overnight and show them around town. They told everyone in the parish that if anyone had the space or the means, they should take them in. I told her straight up: "Fine, you host all ten of them, you take them out for ice cream, I couldn't care less." She hit me with, "Well, I'm working, and you have all this free time." I told her: "I want to use my free time how I please. I’d much rather lounge around the house than play tour guide to some kids from Poland or the Czech Republic."

It’s honestly ridiculous, these manipulative phases. And it definitely damages the relationship. The fanatics look at you like you're the enemy because you're "defiling" the upbringing they provided, which mostly consisted of "you can't do this" and "you can't do that." 😂 I started tuning out that kind of conditioning back in my early school days. In the world of fanatics, the rule is that a child must be obedient and humble because the elders always know better. 🙂 When you dare to disagree, they pull the "Honor thy father and mother" card from the Bible. You can never bring actual logic to the table or have even 30% of your arguments accepted, let alone talk about equality. Luckily, I don't have grandparents around to turn me into their personal hobby for psychological games.🙂

Mom and Dad were watching the Pope’s Angelus broadcast from the Vatican, and my mom turns to me and says, "Look at how many young people are there—it's like the Vatican is right in our own backyard." Most of them seemed to be young folks from developing nations, like Ecuador, Paraguay, or the Philippines 🙂
It’s a completely different worldview. Then, the moment I jokingly suggested changing the name of the "Urbi et Orbi" blessing to "Ubi et orobi," everyone immediately lost their minds 🙂

Earlier this year, they were busy spreading this whole story about some guy who wasn't religious enough, so the devil supposedly appeared to him and started smashing everything in sight 🙂

Look, just realize one thing: you aren't sharing a bed with your mother or your conservative relatives—you're sharing it with your future wife. If you cave to all that pressure now, you're going to ruin your entire life. You have to be clear and unapologetic about this. Whichever woman you actually like, tell those "perfect matches" your mom keeps trying to set you up with to get lost. You only get one shot at this life, and wasting it on a miserable marriage is the ultimate sin.

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