All-day school schedules

Sure, an after-school program can help them practice their homework. But how can anyone teach them better than their own parents? It’s not the same thing as one-on-one attention versus a group of twenty-five kids. Plus,
landing a truly great teacher at an after-school center is honestly just pure luck.😢 It feels pretty heartbreaking to me when kids who have other options are stuck in after-school care
just because someone else has to teach them how to finish their assignments.

On the flip side, it's also sad that some schools don't offer any daycare services for children whose parents can't arrange childcare during the day. I can't imagine being a first grader, taking the city bus home alone, unlocking the house, and trying to heat up a snack by myself. Just sitting there waiting until 4:00 or 5:00 PM all by myself.

Though, I did actually do that growing up, and I had a blast—it made me feel so grown up.

I just have one question:

Why on earth is everyone so terrified of letting a seven-year-old stay home alone for a bit? 🤷

To be honest, I’m pretty nervous about her being out on the road. We don't really rely on public transit, and she isn't typically walking around by herself much. Because of that, I've started sending her to the local corner store alone just so she can get some practice navigating traffic before school starts.

Also, that feels like way too long of a stretch. There's a big difference between her being home alone for thirty minutes versus being gone from 11:00 AM to 5:00 PM. That seems excessive to me. I never leave her alone for that kind of duration; usually, it's just while I run a quick errand to the grocery store.

It’s not that I don't think she could handle it—she definitely could. It's just that since we haven't practiced this, I'm worried.

Chloe Gomez6 said:To be honest, I’m pretty nervous about her being out on the road. We don't really rely on public transit, and she isn't typically walking around by herself much. Because of that, I've started sending her to the local corner store alone just so she can get some practice navigating traffic before school starts.

Also, that feels like way too long of a stretch. There's a big difference between her being home alone for thirty minutes versus being gone from 11:00 AM to 5:00 PM. That seems excessive to me. I never leave her alone for that kind of duration; usually, it's just while I run a quick errand to the grocery store.

It’s not that I don't think she could handle it—she definitely could. It's just that since we haven't practiced this, I'm worried.

I suppose I am in the same boat.
Well, I suppose there will be older brothers around, so they won't exactly be left home alone.

Chloe Gomez6 said:Sure, an after-school program can help them practice their homework. But how can anyone teach them better than their own parents? It’s not the same thing as one-on-one attention versus a group of twenty-five kids. Plus,
landing a truly great teacher at an after-school center is honestly just pure luck.😢 It feels pretty heartbreaking to me when kids who have other options are stuck in after-school care
just because someone else has to teach them how to finish their assignments.

On the flip side, it's also sad that some schools don't offer any daycare services for children whose parents can't arrange childcare during the day. I can't imagine being a first grader, taking the city bus home alone, unlocking the house, and trying to heat up a snack by myself. Just sitting there waiting until 4:00 or 5:00 PM all by myself.

Though, I did actually do that growing up, and I had a blast—it made me feel so grown up.

Exactly what I'm saying. But look, at our local elementary school, the first graders barely even bring books home during the week since they supposedly "learn everything in class"... but honestly, I've heard a lot of them are actually falling behind compared to the "regular" grades... and even if they did bring stuff home... it's brutal for a kid (especially when the weather sucks and they can't go out) to be stuck in a desk for 8 hours and then have to grind for another hour or two at home just to figure things out...🤷

Megan Gray78 said:I just have one question:

Why on earth is everyone so terrified of letting a seven-year-old stay home alone for a bit? 🤷

because we're talking 4 or 5 hours, not just a quick minute... and they gotta eat breakfast and lunch during that time too...

Megan Gray78 said:I just have one question:

Why on earth is everyone so terrified of letting a seven-year-old stay home alone for a bit? 🤷

The thing is, this kid hasn't even been left alone longer than it takes me to run the trash out to the curb. They get spooked and just don't feel comfortable yet.

I remember being home by myself when I was around 7 or 8. My mom worked three different shifts, and my dad was always traveling for work or caught up in business trips... It was a mixed bag. Some days were actually pretty fun. Other times, I’d be sitting there perfectly still, absolutely terrified of every little creak in the house. It was definitely an experience.

It's not necessarily "scary," but it isn't exactly cozy either. And honestly, it would be better if they didn't have to start doing it so early in the day. That's all.

Reading all this makes me think having more kids might actually be a good idea. I was never particularly worried growing up because I had an older sister by my side. Plus, we were used to being home alone at night quite often while our parents worked the graveyard shift.

Regarding the academic gaps, I’ve heard from people at our local elementary school that one daytime teacher is absolutely terrible—though I haven't met her personally—while the other is just a little less awful. It seems like everything kids go through in those first four grades depends entirely on which teacher they end up with.

Personally, I think the preschool teachers are going to be a bigger factor than any physical development.

Back again on this thread. Like I mentioned earlier, Lana, my A goes to the local elementary school over in Flat Field. The principal doesn't even have a set schedule yet because they're hosting some "subtenants"—basically the incoming first graders from the Pujanka area since their building is undergoing renovations. I've got three kids, and honestly, with the youngest being only 18 months old, there is absolutely no way I can manage homeschooling A. It’s fine when her dad is home, but he’s out at sea for three-month stretches at a time, and when it's just me and the kids? It's pure chaos. My middle child is still in preschool, so my routine is basically dropping A at school, L at daycare, and then keeping B with me until I pick them all up around 3:30. We’re halfway through the second semester now, and the teacher is actually thrilled with A—she’s getting straight As and constant praise. Her English is a little shaky, but whatever, I just step in and help her out. She brings everything home in that little briefcase thing so my parents can see what she’s been up to. If we don't get through everything at school—I usually swing by to grab her around 1:00 PM on Fridays—we finish the work together at home. She actually gets annoyed when I show up early because she’d much rather stay and play with her friends. I know I made the right call; she’s settled in perfectly, her grades are stellar, the teachers are top-notch, and the lunch program is great. Since this is my third kid, I'm on maternity leave until she turns three—people can judge me all they want, but I made a calculated decision based on advice from people who've been through this. Plus, I told myself if I wasn't happy, I could always move her back to a "regular" classroom. They've been using private daycare, and the middle one is still in it too, so I really don't want to drag this out and take a spot away from working moms who actually need it. If you want to chat more, I'll shoot you my number via DM so I don't ramble on here forever. Just ask me anything.

Man, Kate Allen is just talking trash. I’ve gotta hand it to you though... managing three kids—including boys—while your husband is out at sea on a cargo ship? That's heavy.
As for this whole full-day school thing, what I was really trying to figure out is: if both parents are working 7-to-4 shifts (or longer), is it better to put the kid in an all-day program—since we don't really have those extended afternoon options here—or just stick to a regular school day and hire a sitter... assuming you can actually find one...

After digging around online, asking around the neighborhood, and chatting with the school counselor, some teachers from the after-school program, and a few other parents... I’ve pretty much landed on a decision. Given my setup—both of us working full-time, no grandparents nearby to help, just the one kid, and our income is decent for now—it honestly seems better to go with the standard school schedule plus a babysitter.

Plus, there's another huge downside to the all-day programs (at least at my local elementary school here)... you can never pick them up early. Like, if you're taking a vacation or something... you're just stuck.

Look, I get where you're coming from—I really do. At first, I felt terrible thinking the kindergarteners were only getting a few hours of school while our kids were stuck there for eight, but honestly, they needed that transition to get used to the routine. I actually considered pulling mine out and moving them back to a full schedule after just the first week, but my husband was the voice of reason here. He was like, "Absolutely not!" Especially since he was heading out on a cruise around September 25th—he asked me, "What are you going to do when I'm gone? Will you even have the bandwidth to sit down and help her with her homework?" And let's be real, we shouldn't kid ourselves—the curriculum these days is way more intense than what we dealt with back in the day. There were actually a few times I stared at a math problem and had no clue how to solve it. I mean, seriously! I finished both high school and nursing school, so I’m clearly not illiterate, but some of those problems just leave me speechless. Their first required reading was basically something like *Goldilocks* or a folk song in the first semester, and half the kids couldn't even read yet. Mine picked up reading and writing in preschool, but not everyone is that lucky, which makes you wonder who's actually helping these kids catch up. It’s obviously the teacher's job, of course. Not to brag or anything, but my girl has the best grades in her class.

Kate Allen said:Look, I get where you're coming from—I really do. At first, I felt terrible thinking the kindergarteners were only getting a few hours of school while our kids were stuck there for eight, but honestly, they needed that transition to get used to the routine. I actually considered pulling mine out and moving them back to a full schedule after just the first week, but my husband was the voice of reason here. He was like, "Absolutely not!" Especially since he was heading out on a cruise around September 25th—he asked me, "What are you going to do when I'm gone? Will you even have the bandwidth to sit down and help her with her homework?" And let's be real, we shouldn't kid ourselves—the curriculum these days is way more intense than what we dealt with back in the day. There were actually a few times I stared at a math problem and had no clue how to solve it. I mean, seriously! I finished both high school and nursing school, so I’m clearly not illiterate, but some of those problems just leave me speechless. Their first required reading was basically something like *Goldilocks* or a folk song in the first semester, and half the kids couldn't even read yet. Mine picked up reading and writing in preschool, but not everyone is that lucky, which makes you wonder who's actually helping these kids catch up. It’s obviously the teacher's job, of course. Not to brag or anything, but my girl has the best grades in her class.

Listen, my kid is in daycare from like 7:00 AM until 3:00 PM. So she’s already used to waking up at 6:00 every single morning and being out the door by 8:00. Knowing how my kid handles being there for eight hours versus just a quick 4 or 5 hour stint... man, it’s night and day. That was a huge factor in my decision too. I think mine would just be totally wiped out if she had to sit in a classroom for eight hours straight every day (but honestly, every kid is different)🤷 plus, I want her to actually have some energy left when we get home from work so we can actually spend some decent time together...

Look, if you’re actually feeling this conflicted—like you’ve got a little voice in your head second-guessing everything—then honestly, just put them in a standard daycare and find a reliable nanny. But seriously, you know your kid better than anyone else ever will. This whole after-school program thing is going to cost you roughly $267 anyway, depending on how many days you go with. Don't fight against your own gut; whatever decision you land on is going to be the right one for your child, and besides, you can always pivot later if it's not working. Just find a great sitter and move forward. I already get the vibe that this option just fits your life better, so why overthink it? Not every kid is built the same, and neither are we.

Kate Allen said:Look, if you’re actually feeling this conflicted—like you’ve got a little voice in your head second-guessing everything—then honestly, just put them in a standard daycare and find a reliable nanny. But seriously, you know your kid better than anyone else ever will. This whole after-school program thing is going to cost you roughly $267 anyway, depending on how many days you go with. Don't fight against your own gut; whatever decision you land on is going to be the right one for your child, and besides, you can always pivot later if it's not working. Just find a great sitter and move forward. I already get the vibe that this option just fits your life better, so why overthink it? Not every kid is built the same, and neither are we.

When I first posted here like 4 or 5 months ago, I was leaning way more towards the full-day option. But after digging deeper (mostly looking into things around the local elementary school), talking to some counselors and whatnot, and really seeing the whole picture... I think I've actually decided on the regular class plus a sitter instead. We'll just have to see how it all plays out...🤷

We don't really have a choice in the matter. I just wanted to tell the moms who are struggling—because let’s be honest, leaving your kid somewhere isn't easy—that things aren't always as bleak as they seem. It is entirely possible to end up with an amazing teacher, helping your child develop solid study habits and find good friends along the way. There are plenty of parents out there who simply don't know how to help, or perhaps can't, their children. So, where do we blame the "bad students"? And frankly, thanks, but I don't need anyone to step in and bathe my child; I've handled that myself from day one, and I'll continue to do so. If a child had to be in daycare from 8:00 to 4:00, what is the issue now? No one is stopping you from bringing the backpack home and checking what was covered that day. There is no reason for mothers to unnecessarily stress themselves out. Our family is actually a success story: our child is average in intelligence but independent and successful, which is what matters most. We don't sit around doing homework together, but we make up for it by playing.

Megan Gray78 said:I just have one question:

Why on earth is everyone so terrified of letting a seven-year-old stay home alone for a bit? 🤷

Isn't this actually illegal? Leaving such a young child by themselves? 🤔

Or is this strictly a thing in Vicksburg and a few other parts of Europe?

I remember back in the day, all my little brothers and cousins—and man, there were a ton of them—growing up in Germany always had those after-school programs or whatever they called them over there. They’d eat lunch at school, knock out their homework, leave their books there, and then just come home with nothing but free time to hang out or play.

Some of them went on to get college degrees, while others barely made it past middle school before jumping into a typing course. It was a mixed bag; some siblings got the exact same treatment and help from our parents, and even when they had the same teachers, they ended up in totally different places... No real rules to it, really.

But honestly, I know for a fact they're all good, hardworking people now, living solid middle-class lives. So, I don't think those all-day programs are such a big scary deal. 🤷

Kate Cox2 said:Isn't this actually illegal? Leaving such a young child by themselves? 🤔

Or is this strictly a thing in Vicksburg and a few other parts of Europe?

It is illegal, I suppose...

But what choice do you really have if your work hours are 8:30 to 4:30 and after-school care is only offered for first graders? If you aren't in a financial position to hire private childcare for a seven-year-old because the local school district isn't able to provide extended care for second graders, you're stuck.😕

fadedtrucker8 said:It is illegal, I suppose...

But what choice do you really have if your work hours are 8:30 to 4:30 and after-school care is only offered for first graders? If you aren't in a financial position to hire private childcare for a seven-year-old because the local school district isn't able to provide extended care for second graders, you're stuck.😕

Look, I truly do empathize with the impossible dilemmas parents face when they have nowhere to send their kids after the bell rings... I was simply making a point.
Ideally, everyone would have a dedicated sitter for those afternoon hours, but let's be real—not every family has that kind of disposable income.

My experience... the school was quite a hike from our house, and they didn't offer full-day programs or even a lunch service.
It never crossed my mind to leave her to fend for herself—even though I was flying solo from day one.
I don't know what changed over the years, but my mom wouldn't have dreamt of letting the kid stay home alone or walk to school by herself either.
We hired a sitter to handle the driving and the cooking. If she had afternoon classes, the sitter would show up around 10 AM—back when I mistakenly thought she'd be on her own—and after lunch, she’d drop her off at school.
When my son enrolled the following year (on the opposite shift, naturally🙄), the routine stayed the same... we handled the morning runs and picked up the afternoon kid, while the sitter cooked lunch and drove the middle child.
I honestly didn't see any other way to make it work🤷🤷
If there had been a full-day option, they both would have been signed up.
They started walking themselves toward the end of 1st and 2nd grade... my son actually started earlier than that, and plenty of kids probably had someone walking them for that first month.
Aside from the loneliness issue, I just don't get how anyone manages to eat properly without an organized lunch program. It never occurred to me to cook everything at night just to pack it for reheating later... I have a right to put my feet up eventually, and let's just say I've seen enough near-disasters in the kitchen to last a lifetime.🤷
Believe it or not, I still won't let the kids touch the gas stove when I'm not around during 6th or 7th grade.🤣🤣🤣
Oh, and... the sitter charged $100 per week... for about 4 or 5 hours of work daily.