Being ignored by a shy guy

Hey everyone, I need some advice here. Here is the situation:
A smart, attractive woman in her early 30s fell for a younger, shy guy. About three months ago, they were planning what should have been the most romantic day imaginable. Everything felt like something straight out of a movie—a beautiful apartment, scented candles, a jacuzzi... and most importantly, he finally decided to show up. He knew everything about her: that she was older, married, and had a child. He also knew she had decided to leave her husband to give him a real shot, which is only fair, right? The atmosphere was perfect—an NFL game playing on TV, a light drizzle outside... After talking through life, they played a little game with matches to break the ice and decide who would hit the jacuzzi first. A little later, they were both in there. It was non-stop kissing—face, neck, shoulders—for an hour or two. But then, that one thing every man secretly fears happened 🙏... things stayed strictly at the kissing stage, but honestly, that was fine. There were no expectations and no negative reactions. Afterward, they just kept talking and kissing on the sofa, and she ended up driving him home. She even gave him a kiss when she left his car. The next day... silence. No word from him. She sent a quick text just to break the ice, but since then, the silence has become deafening
. A few details about him: he’s withdrawn, shy, and has a rough past (though we all do). He doesn't act like a tough guy, but he is a great kisser
. What went wrong here? How can this be fixed, and if so, how??

Do you really want the folks over at Psychology Forum to weigh in on this—or would you rather read some takes on Medium or maybe some of those lonely hearts blogs?

Just tell him it’s really not that big of a deal and maybe just pick up some Viagra for him...

Are you honestly sure it’s because of embarrassment? It doesn't really sound like that to me... I mean, are you actually expecting some deep, profound explanation as to why he's turning you down (or whoever this is about, though I'll just assume it's you)? Because let's be real, nobody can read his mind. Just ask him. It’s unlikely to be some "shame" thing. In my experience, there are usually only two ways this goes: either he's just not feeling the spark and wants to move on, or his conscience finally caught up with him. After all, someone out there is waiting for him—a wife, maybe kids... or even worse, he's cheating on his wife and playing the part of the side piece.

Gary Murphy2 said:Hey everyone, I need some advice here. Here is the situation:
A smart, attractive woman in her early 30s fell for a younger, shy guy. About three months ago, they were planning what should have been the most romantic day imaginable. Everything felt like something straight out of a movie—a beautiful apartment, scented candles, a jacuzzi... and most importantly, he finally decided to show up. He knew everything about her: that she was older, married, and had a child. He also knew she had decided to leave her husband to give him a real shot, which is only fair, right? The atmosphere was perfect—an NFL game playing on TV, a light drizzle outside... After talking through life, they played a little game with matches to break the ice and decide who would hit the jacuzzi first. A little later, they were both in there. It was non-stop kissing—face, neck, shoulders—for an hour or two. But then, that one thing every man secretly fears happened 🙏... things stayed strictly at the kissing stage, but honestly, that was fine. There were no expectations and no negative reactions. Afterward, they just kept talking and kissing on the sofa, and she ended up driving him home. She even gave him a kiss when she left his car. The next day... silence. No word from him. She sent a quick text just to break the ice, but since then, the silence has become deafening
. A few details about him: he’s withdrawn, shy, and has a rough past (though we all do). He doesn't act like a tough guy, but he is a great kisser
. What went wrong here? How can this be fixed, and if so, how??

Honestly, I don't see how that's "fair" at all. She basically dumped a massive weight on his shoulders by claiming she left her spouse just for him, and now he (some random guy) is supposedly "on the hook" to be with her. 🙄

Was the breakup even discussed with him beforehand? Probably not, because you guys still have nothing going on now, and back then you didn't have anything either besides some cheap flirting. You don't blow up a marriage and walk away from being a parent and a life partner just because of some flirting.

Look, leaving wasn't part of the deal... but she walked away from her husband because she fell for a guy who didn't pressure her. He didn't dump his baggage on her; instead, he gave her a real chance to be with him... and he was fully aware of that. Besides, she left her husband before any flirting even started, which is actually pretty fair. As George Washington says, maybe her conscience is bothering her, but would it even matter if everything had gone strictly "according to plan"? Is that really the worst thing that can happen to a man? Is it truly so devastating that he'll just bury his head in the sand and pretend it isn't happening?
thanks Betty Chase54, but I think it's a bit early for Viagra 😉

Is the kid a minor?🤷 Sounds more like he’s running for his life from some predatory auntie!🙏 😂😂

Heh... he isn't exactly a kid, and she certainly isn't some seasoned veteran either... honestly, they might actually be able to learn a thing or two from one another 🙂

She went hunting for premium cuts she couldn't afford, and now she’s left with nothing at all. 😂

Here is my aunt's recipe:

Pigeon in Vinegar (Main Course),
A French culinary classic

Ingredients:
4 squab pigeons (prepared)
thyme
olive oil

For the sauce:
3 shallots
1/2 cup heavy cream
apple cider vinegar
dry white wine
60g butter

Instructions:
1 First, remove the heads, legs, and giblets from the pigeons. Wash and pat them dry. Butterfly them by cutting along the breastbone so they lay flat like a steak. In a bowl, combine about ten tablespoons of olive oil with a sprig of finely chopped thyme and a bit of fresh cracked pepper. Submerge the pigeons in this marinade and let them rest in the refrigerator for an hour, turning them occasionally to ensure even coverage.
2 To prepare the sauce: peel the shallots, mince them finely, and sauté them in 20g of butter. Pour in a glass of wine and simmer over low heat, stirring constantly, until the liquid has reduced by about half.
3 While that simmers, place the pigeons on a grill over hot coals. Cook them for 7–8 minutes per side, basting frequently with the leftover marinade. Finish the sauce by adding a glass of vinegar and letting it reduce over low heat. Once about two-thirds of the liquid has evaporated, the sauce is nearly ready.
4 Whisk in small pieces of the remaining butter, then stir in the heavy cream, salt, and pepper. Serve the pigeons hot, seasoned with salt and pepper, accompanied by the fragrant sauce.

Enjoy your meal. 😂😂

Thanks, but she’d much rather have pigeons in the jacuzzi... than in the vinegar 😂

Fine for the estimate... just make sure you skin it properly next time so it doesn't fly off again. 😂

... I'm going to need much hotter water for that 😂, though honestly, maybe the water itself is the root of all these problems ... 😕

Gary Murphy2 said:Heh... he isn't exactly a kid, and she certainly isn't some seasoned veteran either... honestly, they might actually be able to learn a thing or two from one another 🙂

Gary Murphy2 said:... I'm going to need much hotter water for that 😂, though honestly, maybe the water itself is the root of all these problems ... 😕

Alright, look—it's pretty obvious you're talking about yourself here. Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm getting majorly immature vibes from you—like someone who's just had way too much downtime lately. I'm not trying to preach to you or anything, but eventually, reality is gonna hit you hard.
Unless, of course, something went seriously sideways in your marriage... 🤷

...I used to be kind of drawn to those guys who were a little shy—nothing crazy, just quiet, you know? But looking back, I’ve finally realized that more often than not, that "shyness" is just a mask for guys who are total egocentrics, emotionally immature, or just too self-sufficient for their own good...

wearybear75 said:Alright, look—it's pretty obvious you're talking about yourself here. Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm getting majorly immature vibes from you—like someone who's just had way too much downtime lately. I'm not trying to preach to you or anything, but eventually, reality is gonna hit you hard.
Unless, of course, something went seriously sideways in your marriage... 🤷

... as if I'm so bored that I'd actually post my life story on a forum.😁

Gary Murphy2 said:... as if I'm so bored that I'd actually post my life story on a forum.😁

What else are you going to do when the hot tub is empty?😁

Joseph Peterson6 said:What else are you going to do when the hot tub is empty?😁

😂😂😂

Gary Murphy2 said:... as if I'm so bored that I'd actually post my life story on a forum.😁

Look, if you're already seeing a therapist, just get to the point—tell us what the actual beef was with your husband, totally ignoring this kid for a second.
🙂

wearybear75 said:😂😂😂

Look, if you're already seeing a therapist, just get to the point—tell us what the actual beef was with your husband, totally ignoring this kid for a second.
🙂

Instead of just mocking her, they could actually offer some helpful advice...

Joseph Peterson6 said:What else are you going to do when the hot tub is empty?😁

So, what's on the menu for dessert?? 😁