Eat up, kid! Come on, get some food in you!

Man, this stuff drives me nuts. For me, it’s all about my KID!! (Yeah, right, as if 🍿 would ever care)
The thing is, I deal with some pretty bad stomach issues, so I can't just eat whenever he feels like it, which always ends up starting a massive fight. The latest chapter in this saga? I ended up getting high just to cope (as if 🍿 hasn't seen it all before)

My old man’s from the rural Midwest, born back in '46. Growing up, he was always more hungry than full, so he still lives by that "eat up, you kids haven't had enough" mantra.
To this day, his entire obsession is just scoring a massive meal; everything else is pretty much irrelevant. 🤷

Zachary Mendoza2 said:Their parents lived through the Great Depression, and those lean years stayed with them forever. 😳
We need to make sure our kids eat their fill while food is actually available, because who knows what tomorrow looks like.

Haha, what a fascinating topic...🤣

I think the bolded part hits pretty close to home.
I remember sitting across from my grandma, and she’d watch me like a hawk, gauging exactly how much food I was putting on my plate. Then came the inevitable commentary: "Is that all you're having for protein?"😢 , "Not enough mashed potatoes?"😢, or my personal favorite, "Want me to pack you a Tupperware for later?" (as if I don't have a full kitchen waiting for me at home...)

But that was just my grandma...😍

briskpuma23 said:Man, I don't know how you guys deal with it. Being bribed with food? How do you even survive that kind of psychological warfare?

We haven't seen any threads like this on this sub before.

Look, there is a massive difference between wanting to do something kind for someone and just being needlessly pedantic. So, what is it? Do you genuinely fail to grasp the point of this discussion, or are you just pretending you don't? 🤷

brighttiger41 said:Look, there is a massive difference between wanting to do something kind for someone and just being needlessly pedantic. So, what is it? Do you genuinely fail to grasp the point of this discussion, or are you just pretending you don't? 🤷

So, how exactly did you survive that absolute nightmare?
Give us the details.

It looks like you still have your grandparents around, so you can afford to be this reckless. You’ll regret it eventually, but by then, it’ll be too late...

briskpuma23 said:It looks like you still have your grandparents around, so you can afford to be this reckless. You’ll regret it eventually, but by then, it’ll be too late...

Honestly? I won't miss tracking every single bite or feeling like I need a hit just because I didn't eat when some guru told me to. ☕
Even if I come off as cold about it. 😳

briskpuma23 said:It looks like you still have your grandparents around, so you can afford to be this reckless. You’ll regret it eventually, but by then, it’ll be too late...

Thank God my grandmother doesn't do that to me. I’ve lost count of how many times—fourteen times now!—I’ve had to sit her down and explain that I will ask when I want something, and that I really don't need her constantly offering me things. Honestly, why is it so hard to understand? ☕

slywolf45 said:So, how exactly did you survive that absolute nightmare?
Give us the details.

It’s happened more than once. Honestly, it happens all the time. One time, I say no. Another time? I say no again. But then comes that third time—that moment when they start venting, acting like they're carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders, and suddenly... what am I supposed to do? How can I just stay silent? I end up pivoting. I shift the conversation entirely, just to get away from that heavy energy. It's the only way. 🤣

slywolf45 said:So, how exactly did you survive that absolute nightmare?
Give us the details.

But honestly, that kind of situation can feel like absolute terror. I know from experience. 🙂 😬 Things actually started to look up a bit after I finally managed to just vent everything out during lunch one day. 🥳

brighttiger41 said:Thank God my grandmother doesn't do that to me. I’ve lost count of how many times—fourteen times now!—I’ve had to sit her down and explain that I will ask when I want something, and that I really don't need her constantly offering me things. Honestly, why is it so hard to understand? ☕

It’s happened more than once. Honestly, it happens all the time. One time, I say no. Another time? I say no again. But then comes that third time—that moment when they start venting, acting like they're carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders, and suddenly... what am I supposed to do? How can I just stay silent? I end up pivoting. I shift the conversation entirely, just to get away from that heavy energy. It's the only way. 🤣

That sounds brutal.😢

I have to hand it to you, though.☕

Kevin Flores2 said:But honestly, that kind of situation can feel like absolute terror. I know from experience. 🙂 😬 Things actually started to look up a bit after I finally managed to just vent everything out during lunch one day. 🥳

Okay, I haven't quite reached that level of desperation yet (good grief, am I being serious right now? 😕), but usually, things settle down after I've made it very clear that my limit has been reached.
Anyone else here dealing with elderly relatives, or is it just me? 🤷

slywolf45 said:That sounds brutal.😢

I have to hand it to you, though.☕

Okay, I haven't quite reached that level of desperation yet (good grief, am I being serious right now? 😕), but usually, things settle down after I've made it very clear that my limit has been reached.
Anyone else here dealing with elderly relatives, or is it just me? 🤷

I actually did, yeah. She basically raised me, so I don't think I ever had those kinds of issues with the rest of my family.

Kevin Flores2 said:I actually did, yeah. She basically raised me, so I don't think I ever had those kinds of issues with the rest of my family.

Well, look at that—I had the same thing.
During those years when it probably mattered most.

As a kid, I viewed it as nothing short of pure torture.
And then... then I grew up. Imagine that.☕

slywolf45 said:That sounds brutal.😢

I have to hand it to you, though.☕

Okay, I haven't quite reached that level of desperation yet (good grief, am I being serious right now? 😕), but usually, things settle down after I've made it very clear that my limit has been reached.
Anyone else here dealing with elderly relatives, or is it just me? 🤷

If you can pull it off, then it’s a win.😉

My two grandmothers are absolute angels; they just leave me be and let me eat whatever I want, whenever I want, and in whatever quantities I feel like 😁. But then there’s my mother. She is a force of nature. It doesn't matter if it's family members, random clients stopping by for work projects, neighbors popping in, my friends, or even my brother's buddies—she will try to force food on them. Seriously, she does this thing where it’s just a constant loop of "Do you want this?" "How about this?" "You really should have some," "Come on, just a little bit," "Why won't you eat?" It’s relentless! You can't stop her; she keeps going until people literally walk out the door xD. The one saving grace is that she never actually gets angry if someone genuinely refuses or can't eat. She's persistent, but not mean about it.

However, I once had this incredibly awkward encounter. I went over to Robin Diaz4's place, and her grandmother happened to be there and had just whipped up lunch (which I’d already eaten before arriving). Naturally, she started badgering me to eat. I was perfectly polite about it—I told her, "No thank you, I actually just ate at home," but she just kept pushing. Every single time, I declined firmly but respectfully. Finally, she snapped and said something along the lines of, "What kind of person are you?! Someone who refuses to eat is just stingy and selfish!" and all sorts of similar nonsense. Ever since that day, whenever I visit Robin Diaz4, I've been branded by her grandmother as "that girl who won't eat." She stopped offering me food, but instead, she just watches me with this intense, dark glare. Basically, she hates me now. 😳 And honestly, I don't get it at all 🤷

What is the point of behaving like that, truly?

My late grandmother used to bribe me with nothing but homemade cookies... if I recall correctly, I never once turned her down. 😍

But then there’s my aunt, who takes it as a personal insult if you don't polish off every single morsel of whatever she’s cooked. I’m sitting there struggling to even chew, and she’s already piling another steak onto my plate... 🙄
And of course, she gets offended because I didn't finish it all. Honestly, I just don't get the logic behind it... 🤷

brighttiger41 said:If you can pull it off, then it’s a win.😉

Sarcasm is practically our best friend at this point. 🙂

slywolf45 said:Sarcasm is practically our best friend at this point. 🙂

And that’s easily the best 👍

Is this thread strictly limited to grandmas? Because honestly, I didn't have that specific "issue" with my own nana, but man, I notice it all the time when I'm visiting people. You go over to a friend's place for a quick hang, and suddenly their hospitality starts feeling like a total chore. And look, I’m not just pointing fingers at others—I catch myself doing the exact same thing to my guests. Why on earth isn't a simple no ever enough? It’s like people are terrified they'll look like terrible hosts if they don't keep piling food on your plate or hovering over you. Is that really where their heads are at?

slywolf45 said:Well, look at that—I had the same thing.
During those years when it probably mattered most.

As a kid, I viewed it as nothing short of pure torture.
And then... then I grew up. Imagine that.☕

Since my mom, dad, uncle, aunt, cousins, and basically everyone else in the family all agree with me about Grandma’s food torture, I wouldn't exactly say it's an issue of growing up, but hey, whatever works for you. 🤷

I honestly feel like a huge portion of women from certain generations don't give much thought to anything else besides whether the kids have eaten, what’s on the menu for dinner, keeping the house tidy, tracking the family drama—and the neighbors' business—and planning tomorrow's meals

It isn't even their fault, really—they were just conditioned this way since they were little girls, likely following the exact same blueprint laid down by their mothers, grandmothers, great-grandmothers, and so on... a cycle that probably stretches back to when the first settlers were wandering through the wilderness... if not even before that

In a sense, it makes total sense—I see it myself in how my grandmother used to think, and now my mother does the same. These are fundamentally pragmatic concerns—the absolute essentials: food, cleanliness, health, security, more food... just an endless loop of the same things
The issue is that this mindset evolves into a form of chronic anxiety—this specific way of thinking draws its emotional fuel from constant worrying, which eventually becomes absurd—bordering on morbid at times

I suspect that for many mothers, grandmothers, and aunts... it would actually be an immense mental strain if they decided to stop hovering for just one day, or stopped asking everyone if they were hungry. I think a woman might actually start screaming at some point, because the brain simply doesn't know how to function without that constant routine running in the background

It’s similar to how a mother teaches her daughter that everything must be spotless, that everything needs to be tucked away, that it can't be done this way or that way, or how careful she needs to be while cooking... then, as is tradition, the girl grows up carrying that same neurosis, which she later projects onto her boyfriend, her husband, or whoever she's living with—passing it down from mother to daughter in an infinite loop