Eat up, kid! Come on, get some food in you!

No offense, but I don't really get why you felt the need to start a thread about this. It’s not a bad thing, and honestly, I don't see it as some big deal. Women have always been there for men; I guess if that’s all you saw growing up with your grandma or your mom, then that's just how it is. I also don't understand why it gets under your skin so much—maybe you're just having one of those off days?

That’s pretty much how grandmas out in the rural Midwest handle things, based on what I've seen with my own family. I honestly think they eat just because they have nothing else to do... there's just so much downtime. They knock out all their chores in the first half of the day, and then the rest of the afternoon is basically just napping and snacking since they don't have much to keep them busy—nothing high-tech like the internet to distract them. Life is just a bit more low-key, you know? Maybe they'll tackle a small project here or there, but that's about it.

Kate Phillips7 said:No offense, but I don't really get why you felt the need to start a thread about this. It’s not a bad thing, and honestly, I don't see it as some big deal. Women have always been there for men; I guess if that’s all you saw growing up with your grandma or your mom, then that's just how it is. I also don't understand why it gets under your skin so much—maybe you're just having one of those off days?

Look, no disrespect, but please go back and read the original post one more time. 😉

Feel free to comb through my other comments on this topic if you need to. ☕

brighttiger41 said:Look, no disrespect, but please go back and read the original post one more time. 😉

Feel free to comb through my other comments on this topic if you need to. ☕

There's never any offense taken, just keep them coming.😉

Kate Phillips7 said:There's never any offense taken, just keep them coming.😉

Don't you worry for a second—we aren't going to let you down. 😉

Did you actually grasp why this thread was opened in the first place, or do I really need to sit down and walk you through it? 😕

Either you just don't care, or you're being completely dishonest—because that comment of yours? It’s hard to believe. 🤷

brighttiger41 said:Don't you worry for a second—we aren't going to let you down. 😉

Did you actually grasp why this thread was opened in the first place, or do I really need to sit down and walk you through it? 😕

Either you just don't care, or you're being completely dishonest—because that comment of yours? It’s hard to believe. 🤷

Given which subforum this is in, I'm assuming you're interested in the psychological aspect, just like you mentioned. Like why women tend to act this way while men don't. Plus, it’s clearly getting under your skin, which fits perfectly with the personality you described. Am I wrong?

Kate Phillips7 said:Given which subforum this is in, I'm assuming you're interested in the psychological aspect, just like you mentioned. Like why women tend to act this way while men don't. Plus, it’s clearly getting under your skin, which fits perfectly with the personality you described. Am I wrong?

Well, sure, men probably do it too, but let's be real—the ratio of women to men doing this is probably closer to 98:2.

It’s irritating for everyone, isn't it? Can't you see that? It certainly is for me, at least. Like I said, I just can't stand having to say the exact same thing twice to someone. 😉

Zachary Mendoza2 said:Their parents lived through the Great Depression, and those lean years stayed with them forever. 😳
We need to make sure our kids eat their fill while food is actually available, because who knows what tomorrow looks like.

But the fallout from all that is that in generations which never experienced true deprivation, half the kids reach late puberty without ever knowing what it means to be hungry... essentially, food isn't viewed with that same survivalist reverence; for some, the whole concept of "sustenance" is just an annoying daily chore.

Take me, for instance—I actually enjoy eating, even if I don't act like it, but sometimes the sheer creativity of whatever my family tries to invent at the dinner table just makes me lose my appetite entirely...
I remember when I was a kid, it was practically a full-time job—I’d spend three hours a day forced to clear my plate regardless of how much I wanted to, all while enduring an hour of nagging, endless questions, and more food being piled onto my plate despite my protests... every single day.

Honestly, if they had just let me go hungry for a few days back then, they wouldn't be spending the rest of my life asking me if I've eaten yet.

Furthermore, the idea that this behavior is purely a lingering reflex from an era of scarcity isn't necessarily the truth...

For example, my mother is highly educated—she spent decades in a very demanding intellectual career—and I doubt she ever faced genuine hunger in her life. You would think that once she comes home, or even now that she’s retired and can do whatever she wants, she might focus on something other than the constant cycle of wondering if I've eaten, what I ate, how much I ate, and what's on the menu for tomorrow.

Well, I've told her enough times that I don't care about the meal plan, that I can cook for myself, and that I don't understand how she can ask me the same thing ten times a day... so, she stopped asking me.
Now, she asks my father instead—asking him if he's eaten, how much, and when.

My father, as far as I know, actually did experience periods of real hunger growing up—he didn't have it easy, and he went through some rough patches—but I never experienced that kind of psychological drilling from him, especially not regarding food. As long as there is food, everything is fine... though I do remember him telling me when I was young that you never throw away bread, and that was the extent of it. I got the point, and that was that.

As for my mother, she can throw away as much food as she likes; the important thing for her is simply knowing that I've eaten, what I ate, how much I ate, and ideally, that I ate in her presence so she can confirm it herself.

It's all a bit bizarre...

Betty Chase54 said:That’s pretty much how grandmas out in the rural Midwest handle things, based on what I've seen with my own family. I honestly think they eat just because they have nothing else to do... there's just so much downtime. They knock out all their chores in the first half of the day, and then the rest of the afternoon is basically just napping and snacking since they don't have much to keep them busy—nothing high-tech like the internet to distract them. Life is just a bit more low-key, you know? Maybe they'll tackle a small project here or there, but that's about it.

Oh, come on now. People in small towns eat just because they're bored??? What kind of nonsense is that?? I grew up in a tiny rural town out on an island, and let me tell you, nobody there was ever "bored." And even if they were, I'm pretty sure they could find something else to do besides eating.
By that logic, every unemployed person in America should be shaped like a three-drawer filing cabinet just because they have nothing to do!!

Did it ever cross your mind that those grandmas in the countryside aren't stuffing people with food because they're bored, but because back in their day—when they were kids and young women—food wasn't exactly something you could waste??? Food wasn't something to throw away back then, and people took much more seriously than we do today... They feed you because they want you to feel welcome and cared for in their home. To me, that's the only reason.

wearycobra252 said:Oh, come on now. People in small towns eat just because they're bored??? What kind of nonsense is that?? I grew up in a tiny rural town out on an island, and let me tell you, nobody there was ever "bored." And even if they were, I'm pretty sure they could find something else to do besides eating.
By that logic, every unemployed person in America should be shaped like a three-drawer filing cabinet just because they have nothing to do!!

Did it ever cross your mind that those grandmas in the countryside aren't stuffing people with food because they're bored, but because back in their day—when they were kids and young women—food wasn't exactly something you could waste??? Food wasn't something to throw away back then, and people took much more seriously than we do today... They feed you because they want you to feel welcome and cared for in their home. To me, that's the only reason.

Yeah, they are bored, especially the older folks who aren't up for hiking anymore. They're retired, sitting at home, and they're bored. They don't have a ton of different hobbies, they're limited by their resources and entertainment options, and they just don't know what to do with themselves...

brighttiger41 said:Alright, let's kick this off with a classic: "Chuck Norris once convinced his grandma that he wasn't actually hungry!"
With that, I’m officially opening this thread.
Honestly, I’ve found myself in this exact position more times than I can count—where a grandma (mine or anyone else's, doesn't matter) just won't stop badgering me to eat. I’ll say no, clearly stating that I'm full, and then she’ll ask me forty-five more times! She just keeps insisting!! Seriously, why is it that most grandmas act like this? (And honestly, why isn't it grandpas too? 🤔)!

Personally, I tend to get pretty irritated when someone tries to push me into something after I've already said no. I'm as stubborn as a mule; once I make up my mind, that's it. It's settled!

Can someone please explain this phenomenon? 👎

Eat while it's there, because once you're actually hungry, you won't be able to anymore😁 is what they think!

Not a single problem there.😁 Honestly, I’d give anything to have my grandma cooking for me again, but she’s long gone...

🤣 sooo, looks like most of us deal with this exact same thing 😁

I don't have my grandma around to force-feed me anymore, but my grandpa is still here and he basically took over both jobs. Honestly, sitting at the dinner table is the worst part. It’s like he’s monitoring every single bite I take—"Have some more..." "You want this?" "Let me get you that..." "Is it good? Is it enough? You're looking way too thin, just like your late aunt used to be... you really need to bulk up a bit..." and all that stuff 🤦
And man, I've got a long way to go 😕 even though I eat totally normal, actually, I eat a ton.

I've lost count of how many times I've tried to speak up and tell them, "Yeah, no, seriously, I'm good, I've had plenty..." But nope, next meal, it's the same old song and dance 🙄

I have developed a rather effective method for sidestepping unwanted food offers, social awkwardness, and general tension in such scenarios—I call it the "aha" technique.
The process is straightforward: first, when the food is offered—assuming you have no desire to eat and wish to avoid the discomfort of a direct refusal (regardless of past experiences involving guilt-tripping over declining an offer)—you simply meet their gaze and respond with a relaxed "aha." This eye contact should last roughly one to one and a half seconds before you calmly return to whatever you were doing—be it continuing a conversation, staring out the window, or... well, other private activities 🤣. If they attempt to offer the food again after a moment, you repeat the brief "aha." After that, everything typically settles down. In my experience, I have yet to encounter a third attempt at offering. 😁 It has been thoroughly tested in various settings.

P.S. The necessity of eye contact depends entirely on the individual's personality. With certain people, it might be more prudent to forgo the gaze and instead provide a disinterested, albeit conversational, "aha."

My mom is honestly a legend. She looks at me totally deadpan and goes, "Seriously, slow down, or you’re gonna end up with a backside as wide as the rear of a Ford." But then, she turns around and spoils my husband rotten, cooking everything exactly how he likes it and hovering over his plate like a mother hen... 🙄

My mother-in-law basically gave up on me. After a few failed attempts to lecture me about my diet, she just threw her hands up and said, "I have no idea how you survive..." (Oh, I know exactly how—it's everything sitting in my fridge 😁).

Meanwhile, my sweet hubby is over here trying to force-feed the kid... "You have to eat this, you have to finish it all, you can't just eat bologna without bread" (I still haven't cracked the mystery of why that's a rule 😕)... Just leave her alone, for heaven's sake... When she's actually hungry, she'll ask... 🤷

I actually managed to snag a comment from my grandma:

"You can only have one tiny bite of apple pie because you're way too overweight"

My grandma is convinced I’m starving myself😢

🤦

True, women tend to offer food. My mother-in-law—bless her heart—insists this is the ultimate sign of politeness and that any decent homemaker should act accordingly.

Men, on the other hand, are constantly pushing drinks on you ("Grab a beer? Come on, just one. Don't be difficult. Just have one..."). Honestly, they can be just as exhausting.

Drew Hughes10 said:True, women tend to offer food. My mother-in-law—bless her heart—insists this is the ultimate sign of politeness and that any decent homemaker should act accordingly.

Men, on the other hand, are constantly pushing drinks on you ("Grab a beer? Come on, just one. Don't be difficult. Just have one..."). Honestly, they can be just as exhausting.

Do you know my father-in-law? 😁

Jason Ortiz5 said:My mom is honestly a legend. She looks at me totally deadpan and goes, "Seriously, slow down, or you’re gonna end up with a backside as wide as the rear of a Ford." But then, she turns around and spoils my husband rotten, cooking everything exactly how he likes it and hovering over his plate like a mother hen... 🙄

My mother-in-law basically gave up on me. After a few failed attempts to lecture me about my diet, she just threw her hands up and said, "I have no idea how you survive..." (Oh, I know exactly how—it's everything sitting in my fridge 😁).

Meanwhile, my sweet hubby is over here trying to force-feed the kid... "You have to eat this, you have to finish it all, you can't just eat bologna without bread" (I still haven't cracked the mystery of why that's a rule 😕)... Just leave her alone, for heaven's sake... When she's actually hungry, she'll ask... 🤷

Hehe... that cracked me up... I mean, how is he going to survive eating deli meat without bread? He'll be starving!

Oh man, I don't even have a kid or a husband... but whenever my younger brother comes to visit... I just load him up with fries... chocolate milk, Nutella toast, apples, deli meats... and every two hours I'm like, "Are you hungry? You want some?" 🙄... What am I supposed to do? I won't force him... but I'm in charge for those five days... I'm terrified he might actually starve to death... And when he's sleeping, I go check on him, and when I get up in the middle of the night... I check again just to make sure he hasn't kicked off his covers and caught a cold.

OH MY GOD, I am totally one of those people... but I won't nag him with "eat, eat, eat, eat, eat"... I'll just ask every two hours, "Are you hungry?"... "Probably not... well, don't be." 😁

Why do I do it? I don't know... I even ask my boyfriend if he's eaten when we're out hiking all day... mostly because once he doesn't eat, he gets super cranky.

And my mom... oh boy, that's a whole other level of exhaustion... It was easy for Mom to deal with me, but Dad... whenever I come home... he buys me everything I love... asks if I need a ride... stuff he wouldn't have even thought about back when I was in high school, but now he thinks I need it. I don't know... I guess people just love to worry. Even now, since I'm not home that much, I actually appreciate it... it's nice having someone care about you—not whether you've worked out, fixed your hair, passed an exam, or earned a paycheck, but just whether you're full and if you're warm enough. I only see them a few times a year, so it works for me... but as soon as I stay home for a while, they never stop... My dad especially could never get used to the idea of coming to check on me at 5 AM before he heads to work 😲 every single morning... and that's how he wakes me up... even after Mom explained that we aren't babies anymore... and that he doesn't need to hover over us to see if we're tucked in properly.