How to change your perspective?

dustyraven26 said:Have you ever placed your faith in something, only to find out it wasn't true? If you have, did you cling to that belief or simply accept it as an illusion?
For those who offer unconditional belief without verifying the facts, reality can prove to be quite brutal.

There is a profound satisfaction in witnessing one's own ability to navigate the challenges of reality. Identify the issue, resolve the issue, and move on. 🙂

If you don't pivot, you will simply end up exactly where you were headed.

I have, and I accepted reality. Sometimes it took time, and sometimes it happened instantly.
Every individual requires a specific balance of truth and illusion at any given moment to remain functional; that is precisely why the human psyche employs defense mechanisms.
In my view, forcing too much truth into a psyche—more than a person can actually process—leads to either a complete retreat into a world of delusion or total collapse.

slymaker9 said:The best kind of support is a solid friend who knows how to deal with it.🙂

I agree; having good friends around provides exactly the kind of support you're looking for. To build on what Tyler Diaz4 mentioned regarding chemical support—namely medication—it is my professional opinion that one also needs expert guidance. Sometimes you need someone professional and neutral, yet still trustworthy enough to truly open up to.
The issue we face here is that instead of investing time and resources into counseling, education, or proper guidance, we often opt for expensive pharmaceutical interventions. We end up masking the symptoms rather than addressing the root cause.

Lisa Morales4 said:But all her guys stayed back in the States! Why get so defensive right away? Just let it go!

By the way, did you honestly think this whole "mentorship" setup was some kind of flirting???
Goodness, and here I was trying to give you a compliment by saying you actually fit the description of a "desirable person" from your own post, and look at you getting all worked up. ☕
Aw, you and I wouldn't even be able to share a sandwich.🙄

Were you actually hoping for that 🙂?

Honestly, it gets on my nerves when a thread starts veering off into posts about... I don't know, whether I'm a good mentor or just someone's shoulder to cry on—and I don't even know the person. To me, this discussion is pretty serious business, and I value straightforward, substantive posts focused on the person actually dealing with the issue. Stella, N'Dug, and a few others write that way, and while I appreciate you trying and having the good intentions, you're just not being serious enough for me. You throw in an English expression here and there that only a handful of people grasp, and don't even get me started on the Bible stuff. Just drop the book thing—it's a topic like politics > everything else, just never clear or exact.

If you were trying to give me a compliment and I didn't say thanks, my bad—I didn't catch it as one because it wasn't clearly stated. I prefer direct, unambiguous communication in American English; I guess I'm just wired that way 😉. Cheers!!!

Tyler Diaz4 said:I agree; having good friends around provides exactly the kind of support you're looking for. To build on what Tyler Diaz4 mentioned regarding chemical support—namely medication—it is my professional opinion that one also needs expert guidance. Sometimes you need someone professional and neutral, yet still trustworthy enough to truly open up to.
The issue we face here is that instead of investing time and resources into counseling, education, or proper guidance, we often opt for expensive pharmaceutical interventions. We end up masking the symptoms rather than addressing the root cause.

It really all comes down to who you end up seeing. For instance, I once ended up in the ER with my kid because of a high fever, and the doctor there immediately prescribed an antibiotic. It was constant chaos, so we went looking for a second opinion. This other doctor did a quick blood test—just a few drops—and determined it was just a virus, noting that an antibiotic could actually do more harm than good in this case.

It's the same story across the board. Some people would probably tell Sam Hayes to jump straight onto antidepressants, while others might suggest a more homeopathic approach.

You have to be careful—you really need to ask a ton of questions before diving headfirst into any kind of treatment...

I suppose everything really just comes down to how one perceives things 😁
Personally, I quite enjoy todaytonight’s perspective—even if it isn't always strictly serious, I tend to see them as such a cheerful, positive soul... whereas you, brisktiger56, I view as someone truly rational and deeply intuitive 🙂
The conversation doesn't even necessarily have to be about me personally; what matters is that we reach some sort of realization, especially since we are discussing spirituality 😍

Tyler Diaz4 said:I agree; having good friends around provides exactly the kind of support you're looking for. To build on what Tyler Diaz4 mentioned regarding chemical support—namely medication—it is my professional opinion that one also needs expert guidance. Sometimes you need someone professional and neutral, yet still trustworthy enough to truly open up to.
The issue we face here is that instead of investing time and resources into counseling, education, or proper guidance, we often opt for expensive pharmaceutical interventions. We end up masking the symptoms rather than addressing the root cause.

She has what we Americans call "issues," and a psychologist would be her best bet.
Regarding the cost, a psychotherapy session realistically costs more than a bottle of meds.
For instance, Ad Cipralex costs $50, and I’d wager an hour of therapy costs at least that much if you're paying out of pocket.
Sometimes medication is necessary just to get a person's energy levels high enough to function and even engage in therapy itself.

Personally, I think I’d probably go with some kind of spiritual psychologist 🙂

slymaker9 said:She has what we Americans call "issues," and a psychologist would be her best bet.
Regarding the cost, a psychotherapy session realistically costs more than a bottle of meds.
For instance, Ad Cipralex costs $50, and I’d wager an hour of therapy costs at least that much if you're paying out of pocket.
Sometimes medication is necessary just to get a person's energy levels high enough to function and even engage in therapy itself.

I believe antidepressants might actually be more expensive, though I haven't worked in that field for quite some time, so I can't say for certain without checking.
While medication provides essential support, the real issue is that we tend to avoid prevention. We wait until a situation spirals out of control before seeking psychiatric help—which, unfortunately, isn't easily accessible to the general public due to costs—leading to long-term reliance on medication.

I'm not sure if my point is coming across clearly?

Sam Hayes said:Personally, I think I’d probably go with some kind of spiritual psychologist 🙂

We all find ourselves needing that kind of "spiritual" guidance occasionally, yet a true psychotherapist serves both roles simultaneously.

brisktiger56 said:It really all comes down to who you end up seeing. For instance, I once ended up in the ER with my kid because of a high fever, and the doctor there immediately prescribed an antibiotic. It was constant chaos, so we went looking for a second opinion. This other doctor did a quick blood test—just a few drops—and determined it was just a virus, noting that an antibiotic could actually do more harm than good in this case.

It's the same story across the board. Some people would probably tell Sam Hayes to jump straight onto antidepressants, while others might suggest a more homeopathic approach.

You have to be careful—you really need to ask a ton of questions before diving headfirst into any kind of treatment...

That is precisely my point—that the easiest path is often just handing over a handful of pills.

Regarding antibiotic use in children, while it isn't the main topic, I believe it sometimes borders on criminal negligence. It isn't always about ignorance; sometimes it's pure laziness, which can cause significant harm.

Anyway, I seem to be talking to myself.😱

Sam Hayes said:Personally, I think I’d probably go with some kind of spiritual psychologist 🙂

Or rather, a pneumatologist (from the Greek word pneuma, meaning spirit)

Tyler Diaz4 said:We all find ourselves needing that kind of "spiritual" guidance occasionally, yet a true psychotherapist serves both roles simultaneously.

I have to agree...

Sam Hayes said:Personally, I think I’d probably go with some kind of spiritual psychologist 🙂

It's actually called a spiritual counselor or a priest, and honestly, it's a bit of a relief.
I’ve leaned on spiritual counselors quite a bit, both here in the States and when I was traveling abroad.
They essentially coordinate with one another—much like doctors do, maintaining full professional discretion—to share insights about my situation. There was something really comforting about knowing someone was looking out for me and understood my journey without having to dig through a medical file. Not to mention that little sense of peace you get from knowing people are actually praying for you. It gave me a real sense of spiritual strength and fullness.

Sam Hayes, if this isn't too personal for you, maybe it might help someone else down the road eventually.

brisktiger56, what are you even going to do... there's all kinds of people out there.🤷 🙂

Lisa Morales4 said:It's actually called a spiritual counselor or a priest, and honestly, it's a bit of a relief.
I’ve leaned on spiritual counselors quite a bit, both here in the States and when I was traveling abroad.
They essentially coordinate with one another—much like doctors do, maintaining full professional discretion—to share insights about my situation. There was something really comforting about knowing someone was looking out for me and understood my journey without having to dig through a medical file. Not to mention that little sense of peace you get from knowing people are actually praying for you. It gave me a real sense of spiritual strength and fullness.

Sam Hayes, if this isn't too personal for you, maybe it might help someone else down the road eventually.

brisktiger56, what are you even going to do... there's all kinds of people out there.🤷 🙂

So, here’s the real question: how are you going to shift Sam Hayes's perspective enough that they'd actually sit down and talk to a priest in the first place? Since they aren't religious, that's a hurdle. It could be a good move, provided they don't end up talking to some total creep—like that predator over in Six Hills—so... it would probably be smart to scout out which priest actually has the patience and the actual talent for those kinds of deep conversations.

It’s worth a shot, but Sam Hayes, just a heads up... you're probably going to have to start praying 🙂. If that helps you feel any better, then it might be worth the effort.

p.s. are you an agnostic or an atheist?

I’ve tried praying, I really have, but it just doesn't work for me—it just won't click... it isn't quite my thing. I wouldn't call myself an atheist or even an agnostic, per se; I guess I'm more of a free spirit. I've always had this strong dislike for people trying to force a religion on me or judging me just because I don't show up at a church pew. I especially can't stand the preaching from folks who act like their way—you know, the traditional Catholic route—is the one and only right path...

Sam Hayes said:I’ve tried praying, I really have, but it just doesn't work for me—it just won't click... it isn't quite my thing. I wouldn't call myself an atheist or even an agnostic, per se; I guess I'm more of a free spirit. I've always had this strong dislike for people trying to force a religion on me or judging me just because I don't show up at a church pew. I especially can't stand the preaching from folks who act like their way—you know, the traditional Catholic route—is the one and only right path...

I've gone through the motions of prayer myself, but nothing comes of it. Have you ever thought about just talking? You know, just having a conversation from the heart. That's always worked for me.😁
(And look, I'm not trying to push any particular religious agenda here)😁

Sam Hayes said:I’ve tried praying, I really have, but it just doesn't work for me—it just won't click... it isn't quite my thing. I wouldn't call myself an atheist or even an agnostic, per se; I guess I'm more of a free spirit. I've always had this strong dislike for people trying to force a religion on me or judging me just because I don't show up at a church pew. I especially can't stand the preaching from folks who act like their way—you know, the traditional Catholic route—is the one and only right path...

It sounds to me like you totally get where your triggers are—you just need the practical tools to actually apply what you've learned.

Shut down the computer and just go for it.

Good luck out there!

Hey friend, feel free to drop by my thread anytime 🙂
I'm shutting down the PC and heading out now 🙂

wearyhawk83 said:It sounds to me like you totally get where your triggers are—you just need the practical tools to actually apply what you've learned.

Shut down the computer and just go for it.

Good luck out there!

That advice right there? That's the spark for the whole journey from 1243 miles. Everything starts getting better from that point on—but honestly, I worry about how Sam Hayes will keep showing up on this forum, since part of her just feeds into this cycle. Still, we're all sitting here talking about her, but once she finally pulls the plug on the PC, she’ll have to face herself—and that’s the hardest part. That's that initial step you're talking about when you say: just shut it down and go.

Sam Hayes said:Hey friend, feel free to drop by my thread anytime 🙂
I'm shutting down the PC and heading out now 🙂

Seriously though—I truly wish you, and I’m pretty sure everyone else here too, a smooth journey toward a total shift in perspective and much brighter days ahead.🙂