#21 ·
fadedskipper21 said:Here we go—another topic for the pile.
What truly gets under my skin is how much people today just default to stereotypes. The typical American script is pretty rigid: get married by 25, take out those massive mortgages, find a husband (mandatory), and have a few kids—ideally as many as possible.
If you don't fit that mold, you usually end up being the target of judgment or scorn; most people look at you as if you’re somehow "lesser" or fundamentally broken.
I’m 31 now, so according to this social blueprint, I should have been settled down ages ago. I recently ran into an old classmate who already has three kids, and he spent a full two hours lecturing me on why I’m not married and don't have children yet—asking things like, "So what's the issue?" or "How haven't you found anyone?" or even implying that nobody wants me.
The reality of my life isn't that something is missing—everyone who actually knows me can attest that everything is fine. It's just that I hate being tied down; I value my independence, I dislike feeling suffocated, and frankly, I enjoy living on my own. That's just who I am. And because of that, I'm treated like a total anomaly. I could have easily married my long-term boyfriend if I had wanted to, but I didn't, because he had no drive to work or build a life, so I realized he wasn't the one for me. I could have also just proven I was "wanted" by checking off all the boxes society forces on us—from family to the media—but I refused to force a marriage just to satisfy everyone else instead of myself. Now, I'm viewed as this "oddity" that no one will touch at 31, when the truth is I simply chose not to marry someone who wasn't a perfect match for me. I chose to be happy. Instead, I was expected to just marry anyone, produce a brood, and call it a day just to satisfy some arbitrary sense of justice. 🙂 🙂
Why are there so many Americans clinging to these stereotypes, while so few women seem to be original or do things simply because they decided to, rather than because their environment demanded it? Why aren't there more people breaking away from the norm—people who are genuinely put-together, living their lives without needing to parade a "perfect" domestic image for show?
It would be lovely if it were all sincere, but most of those people just open a Meta profile to rub it in everyone else's faces—showing off how they "made it," how perfect they are, and how flawlessly they've adhered to the status quo. Who knows if they even love their poor spouses? You can say that again.
Thanks.
Honestly, I don't think that's even a stereotype anymore, except maybe in some tiny rural towns. If I remember the stats correctly, the average woman in the US has barely 1.3 kids. That means if you take three women, they're only having about four children combined.