Can a life ever truly be considered a failure?

Exactly. Honestly, I don't even bother fighting it anymore; I've just gotten used to destroying everything that’s actually decent or beautiful.😢

There’s bound to be a reason why you're being so self-destructive. Take some time to reflect on yourself and address it; I'm certain that with enough hard work and patience, this issue can be resolved.

First off, I’m looking at what this whole thread is doing to my head, but honestly, the title feels totally off the mark. Maybe something like: Is my entire life just a massive fail?
I don't think you can just fix your problems solo without at least trying to take the edge off first—but let's be real, that takes actual work.
So, are you actually ready to put in the effort?

I wouldn't go so far as to say anyone has truly wasted their life—I mean, we all have our highs and our lows, don't we? You can't exactly walk a perfectly straight line through life every single day, and honestly, sitting around just wallowing in self-pity or acting like a total vegetable isn't really living either... and, I guess, if there is one thing I consider a complete waste of time, it’s dwelling on the past. Constantly replaying everything over and over again—whether those memories are good or bad—just feels like chasing illusions that end up pulling you even deeper into a hole...

If you’re asking about my situation, I honestly don't have the energy to even try anymore. It feels like life just keeps hitting me with one thing after another, and every setback just drags me further down into the dirt. I feel pathetic, hollow, and completely useless. The worst part is when I actually attempt to vent to someone; people immediately pivot to commenting on my physical appearance. It feels incredibly desperate to be sitting here typing to myself that I’m attractive, especially since I currently view myself as an utterly repulsive person. As for how a girl who looks like me could be struggling with this level of depression—I won't even get into my string of failed relationships. I harassed those poor guys so much that I still can't wrap my head around how they put up with me (though, obviously, they were likely only there for my looks, since I lack any other redeeming qualities). To top it all off, I recently lost someone I was deeply connected to, which is just one more crushing blow. I've also made certain choices in my life that I know I will never be able to forgive myself for. So, there it is. My life is a total failure.

Oh, I completely agree—it’s honestly the worst when you actually open up to someone about something bothering you, only to have them immediately hit you with some line like, "Why are you even worried? You're young and beautiful..." and just like that, I totally lose interest in what they're saying...
Actually, I think I've finally realized—though, I suppose I learn something new every single day 😁—that whenever I hit one of those depressive slumps or just a general crisis, it really will pass. Knowing that helps me not exhaust myself quite as much as I used to... and by the way, getting some exercise is probably the best remedy there is!

Dennis Hernandez52 said:If you’re asking about my situation, I honestly don't have the energy to even try anymore. It feels like life just keeps hitting me with one thing after another, and every setback just drags me further down into the dirt. I feel pathetic, hollow, and completely useless. The worst part is when I actually attempt to vent to someone; people immediately pivot to commenting on my physical appearance. It feels incredibly desperate to be sitting here typing to myself that I’m attractive, especially since I currently view myself as an utterly repulsive person. As for how a girl who looks like me could be struggling with this level of depression—I won't even get into my string of failed relationships. I harassed those poor guys so much that I still can't wrap my head around how they put up with me (though, obviously, they were likely only there for my looks, since I lack any other redeeming qualities). To top it all off, I recently lost someone I was deeply connected to, which is just one more crushing blow. I've also made certain choices in my life that I know I will never be able to forgive myself for. So, there it is. My life is a total failure.

You really ought to seek some professional help. Your perception of everything is likely distorted right now and isn't reflecting reality at all. Depression has a way of warping your view of the world. Didn't you mention earlier that you realize you actually have almost everything going for you? Isn't that a positive thing to hold onto—something that makes it worth putting in the effort to fix the broken parts of your life? I am truly sorry for your loss regarding your loved one😢.

Hannah White2 said:First off, I’m looking at what this whole thread is doing to my head, but honestly, the title feels totally off the mark. Maybe something like: Is my entire life just a massive fail?
I don't think you can just fix your problems solo without at least trying to take the edge off first—but let's be real, that takes actual work.
So, are you actually ready to put in the effort?

The topic has been moved from philosophy to psychology.
If I wanted to ask whether my life was a failure, I would simply ask.

A wasted life? 😕 How could that even be possible?
I can't quite wrap my head around looking at things from a single person's perspective—after all, existence has been unfolding here for billions of years, and honestly, we still don't even know if it's a failure or not 🙂

Jason Booth25 said:You really ought to seek some professional help. Your perception of everything is likely distorted right now and isn't reflecting reality at all. Depression has a way of warping your view of the world. Didn't you mention earlier that you realize you actually have almost everything going for you? Isn't that a positive thing to hold onto—something that makes it worth putting in the effort to fix the broken parts of your life? I am truly sorry for your loss regarding your loved one😢.

Well, during one of my outbursts, I told my mother to just take me to a psych ward, and she laughed so hard she practically died. She said, "Yeah, you're crazy, but we wouldn't even want to take you there because you wouldn't even realize you were losing it!" And look, I'm not depressed. I'm simply looking at the facts. The truth is, I can't find myself anywhere; I have zero sense of self because I feel like a total zero. I know when you read this, your first instinct will be to label me as being in a deep depression, but that's not it. It's just that I don't feel anything anymore—neither good nor bad. Everything is just indifferent to me... I'm telling you, it's a wasted life...

If you’re feeling this way, you really need to reach out for some professional support. It’s incredibly difficult to pull yourself out of that kind of headspace on your own. I’d suggest heading to your primary care doctor to get a referral for a therapist, or if you have the means, maybe look into seeing someone privately. I'm sorry if I'm overstepping by offering advice, but when you say you're feeling this low, I just can't stay silent...

Sure, you could call it a wasted life...
for example, the existence of some serial killer or absolute monster is nothing more than a total failure—they just headed down the wrong path.🤷

feralranger said:I find that assertion to be fundamentally flawed. Substantial results—assuming such things even matter in the grand scheme of things—are frequently the product of sheer, dogged persistence paired with a decent baseline of ability. (And quite often, these individuals possess neither exceptional talent nor any burning passion whatsoever...)

Furthermore, consider this: an average physician can still save countless lives. Does that inherent "averageness" render their entire existence a wasted endeavor?

I was just reacting to your specific example...
An average doctor might miss certain things—maybe they won't, maybe they will...
But think about Dr. House... he solves the cases that everyone else fails at...
Anyway, moving past that...

My take is that a life CAN be a failure...
Not the act of living itself, obviously, because living is just what happens when you breathe and connect with people and stuff...
But a "life" can certainly be wasted...
Drugs, booze, neglecting your kids, and all the other nonsense that follows in their wake...
It's about leaving something behind so people can look back and say, "Look, he actually achieved something"...
Whether it's a family home, a vacation house in the Hamptons, or something along those lines...
Even just being a decent human being counts as an achievement—helping others and all that jazz...🙂
Something like that, anyway. I hope I articulated that clearly enough for you guys to get my point...👍

Nancy Peterson3 said:A wasted life? 😕 How could that even be possible?
I can't quite wrap my head around looking at things from a single person's perspective—after all, existence has been unfolding here for billions of years, and honestly, we still don't even know if it's a failure or not 🙂

Everything is open to question, isn't it?☕

My life has turned out exactly the way I intended it to, shaped entirely by my own design. I make my own calls regarding how I live, and I never suffer from that nagging sensation that someone else is pulling the strings behind the scenes. As for everyone else, I couldn't say I know what they're up to, nor do I particularly care to find out; it wouldn't even cross my mind to pry into their business, as I firmly believe that every individual is ultimately the sole architect of their own destiny.

slymaker9 said:Everything is open to question, isn't it?☕

Fair enough.
Though—and I don't mean to be rude—the lady above seems to have already judged those who've taken a wrong turn in life... 🤔
but if we go down that road, then people dealing with illnesses would be labeled as living "wasted" lives too... 🤷

stormycanyon11 said:My life has turned out exactly the way I intended it to, shaped entirely by my own design. I make my own calls regarding how I live, and I never suffer from that nagging sensation that someone else is pulling the strings behind the scenes. As for everyone else, I couldn't say I know what they're up to, nor do I particularly care to find out; it wouldn't even cross my mind to pry into their business, as I firmly believe that every individual is ultimately the sole architect of their own destiny.

Well, I guess I'm just a bit slower on the uptake than you.
Don't take it personally.😁

Nancy Peterson3 said:Fair enough.
Though—and I don't mean to be rude—the lady above seems to have already judged those who've taken a wrong turn in life... 🤔
but if we go down that road, then people dealing with illnesses would be labeled as living "wasted" lives too... 🤷

Hmm... looks like we're missing a solid definition of what a "successful" life actually is here.

The thing is, lives are shaped by both outside circumstances and individual choices.
If someone makes a bad, destructive choice—and they know they're doing it, maybe even repeatedly—that leads to a general state of dysfunction.

When one piece of the puzzle doesn't fit, the whole picture suffers...
which means the entire life is affected.

With a sick person, things have also gone wrong, but it wasn't because of their own decision.🙂
🙂

Oh, please, what on earth is there to calm down about?😉

Some people exist to be an inspiration, while others serve as a cautionary tale.
At the end of the day, no life is ever truly wasted—everyone’s got their own purpose to play out.