Grading Freshmen

summer: honestly, I bet parents of kids in middle school feel the exact same way when they flip through those history textbooks—they just stare at them in disbelief, totally missing the fact that you basically have to boil an entire chapter down to five tiny bullet points just to write them in a notebook.

but let’s be real for a second about what’s actually happening here: everyone is convinced their kid is some kind of genius who absolutely deserves an A, when the reality is that every single classroom follows the same pattern—you’ve got a few superstars, a few kids who struggle, and then a whole bunch of average students.

so the real issue is that the complaining mostly comes from the parents whose kids are just sitting right in that average bracket. it feels like there's this massive push to force kids, who might have been perfectly happy heading toward a trade school or a specialized vocational program, straight into elite prep schools and four-year universities.

I mean, look at how things are going lately: the curriculum has never been more intense, you've got these exhausted parents staying up late helping their kids study, and then suddenly everyone is bragging about a record-breaking number of Honor Roll students.
basically, these high grades are being manufactured. if you have to sit there and coach a kid through every single step of their middle school work just to get them an A, then that kid isn't actually hitting those marks on their own, and frankly, they haven't earned that grade.

rowdypanther12 said:It’s only been a week, and this is happening because the library is short on books and the professors 😁
My kid hasn't even started school yet, and I honestly, truly have zero intention of stepping in to help.
That doesn't mean I won't be there if she gets stuck—it's like if I helped her pull up her tights so they were easier to put on, even if I'm not actually wearing them myself.
Things like this just really frustrate me, because once I heard about this collection being over 100 pages long, I asked my neighbor whose little girl is in second grade, and she confirmed they actually read all 100 pages of poems.
They’re fun and sweet and perfect for kids, but asking children to read 100 pages is almost impossible.

edit, MG, yeah, exactly that—but with a parent's help. Is that actually normal?
edit 2, I'd really love to hear from other moms if this book is standard practice or if it's just an outlier.

I don't get why you're making such a HUGE deal out of this.
Why are you freaking out about elementary schoolers having stuff tied to schoolwork that requires help from a parent or an adult? I really don't get this massive resistance. 🤷

Most kids absolutely need help from their parents or family when they first start school. Some get independent fast, others will always need a little guidance... it's nothing unusual or new. ☕ In fact, it actually strengthens the bond between parent and child. Why not go outside and show them how nature works, or build a family tree together—because let's face it, a kid probably doesn't know their great-grandparents' names or birthdays. Or watch a documentary or look at photos of the Grand Canyon. There's a ton of stuff that needs to be done with an adult so they can eventually do it on their own. That includes reading required books in first grade—most kids NEED an adult to help them through that.
Sure, you could just throw the kid in the deep end and let them sink or swim—but don't cry when they drown...☕ (obviously, I'm exaggerating here)

Susan James said:🙂
Best,

I would much rather play board games with my kid, practice speaking English, do science experiments (like the ones on the 🙏 website), bake cookies, read comics, explore outdoors, or head to the theater or movies...
I'd much prefer my child to go to the local youth center, or join judo or swimming after school, rather than having me sit there reviewing lessons. I truly believe an average student should be able to grasp what they're learning during class time in the lower grades, not at home.
At home, my child can tell me what they're learning or what they found easy, hard, or interesting, but I'm not going to act as a tutor.

By the way, kids struggle with concentration because they aren't moving enough (physical activity has been cut down to almost nothing), not necessarily because they're overloaded with curriculum. Sure, those two things are linked, but I really think that kids who get their daily dose of movement find it much easier to focus and learn while they're actually in the classroom.

That all sounds lovely and idyllic, but if you don't have children yet, you're in for a rude awakening when reality hits. Once a child starts school, you'll realize there's an unspoken expectation that parents act as unpaid teaching assistants to meet the school's demands.
True, what you and your child expect from the school matters. What are your expectations regarding grades? Do you even have any? Would you—and would your child—actually be satisfied with mediocre grades just because it meant you didn't have to "work" through schoolwork at home? If straight A's aren't your priority, they aren't mine either. I know my kid, and I know the hurdles we'll face once they start school. That said, I'm not saying I won't step in if it becomes necessary to help them grasp a concept. I'll do what I can to make things easier for them, not just to chase a perfect GPA.

Back in my day, nobody sat down with me to help with homework, not in first grade or any grade thereafter (I didn't attend after-school programs). Nobody tutored me; they just listened while I read aloud. I can't recall much about literature assignments 🤔 so I won't dwell on that, but the fact remains: very few kids today can manage their schoolwork entirely on their own. It's not because they're less intelligent; it's because they're different. Their lifestyle is fundamentally different, just like someone mentioned earlier... kids today lack the foundational experiences we used to bring into the classroom. They don't notice changes in nature firsthand (they have to "study" and "memorize" them later in a desk), they don't necessarily know basic terminology like the difference between a curb and a sidewalk (they lack that vocabulary, so learning it feels like extra work), and while they can recite the days of the week like a nursery rhyme, asking them which day it was yesterday can be a struggle... there are countless things we adults take for granted that our children simply "know." Today's kids don't even know how to behave on a public bus (this is just an observation from my little one, so please, no offense intended), and they can't describe the route from their house to school (because we drive them everywhere). It's exhausting when they struggle to memorize a simple poem because the skill of rote memorization hasn't been developed. When I was young, I knew dozens of songs by heart, phone numbers, and we were given at least one poem a week to memorize. Nowadays, it's a massive ordeal if a child has to remember three stanzas of a song for music class.

I honestly don't quite follow you—I'm not sure why you're surprised by my reaction. I have no intention of doing my child's schoolwork for them; I just want them to go to class, learn, and handle their own responsibilities.
I don't want it to be assumed that I'll be stepping in to help, especially with assignments that seem to require parent involvement for 90% of kids.
Since she’ll be starting elementary school at seven and a half and can already read, I’m confident she’ll be able to tackle these worksheets on her own.
But honestly, I don't think this is a reasonable task for a kid who's just starting school and still mastering reading.
It feels wrong to me that there's an expectation for parents to do schoolwork alongside their children. Sorry if I'm behind the times, but I just don't see it as normal.

feralgardener33 said:A hundred-page reading assignment for a first grader?! And parents are just expected to do the heavy lifting for them?!
Then you have people claiming kids today don't have it as hard as we did, arguing that they're "less burdened" because parts of the curriculum get cut every year (if that's the case, what on earth were we dealing with back then?)
Let me be clear: during my first four years of elementary school, I didn't do a single thing at home. Nothing. Zero. All my homework and studying happened strictly within the school walls since I was in an after-school program. Do you teachers actually grasp how little time a parent truly has with their child once school starts? If a kid is expected to spend every waking hour on academics, all other activities just fall by the wayside. It’s not right.
And what you just wrote honestly shocked me. Are you suggesting that only the "super intelligent" types—those with some supposedly advanced way of thinking—deserve straight A's? That they just got lucky at birth or happen to have highly educated parents, while everyone else is predestined to struggle with C's and B's regardless of how much effort or heart they put into their work? That's just awful.

Why so many exclamation points and question marks?🤷
I guess if you don't have kids in school yet, you should probably just wait until yours start and then you'll know firsthand what's just urban legend, what's just tall tales, and what the actual truth is.
There's probably no need to get this worked up over hearsay and second-hand stories.😉

Lawrence Torres56 said:Hold on, sorry, but you're totally jumping the gun here without any reason... when we talk about the reading assignment for first grade, "wait and see" by Stanislav Femenić isn't even that collection of poems everyone is arguing about, it’s actually just a picture book
http://www.amazon.com/wait-and-see/
that's only 36 pages total including all the illustrations...

and honestly, the kids who actually have this book (even though most teachers don't even assign it as required reading) know exactly what they need to check out and read....

Just to give you an idea, here's one of the little poems,

ladybug one

One night
ladybug one
was feeling so blue
someone had hidden
her spots from view.
She cried her eyes out
all alone
on a fragrant flower
No one else
could be found
as sad as she was in the world.
But then in the morning
the sun came along
She was so happy
because it put back
once again
those spots where they belong.

So, seriously, is it really such a massive ordeal to read fifteen little poems like that in a month?

Not at all, I suppose.

Karen Richardson3 said:To be totally honest, looking at the elementary kids I know right now, they aren't struggling like this; it feels like the only place where people are constantly complaining about how impossible the curriculum has become is on internet forums.

I agree.
I work in a school, about 90% of my friends work in schools, and plenty of kids in my own family go through the system... and nowhere except here on this forum (and in the media, to be honest) do I hear people complaining about how impossibly hard the curriculum is.🙂

I wonder why nobody talks about how ridiculously easy the questions on the SATs have become? And despite those questions being so simple, the passing threshold gets lowered to like 20-30% just so everyone can pass?
Is it our fault again, like we just didn't teach them well enough? 🙄

Adam Evans62 said:God, you parents love to twist words, don't you? 😵
Nobody hands a first grader a 100-page novel to read 🙄. Sure, you might give them a book of poems that’s 100 pages long, but even then, they either pick a few to read on their own or go through it with a parent or teacher during class if they actually need to finish the whole thing (which I haven't heard of anyone assigning, by the way)...
And yeah, a lot of material has been cut from the curriculum. Instead of whining about how "overwhelmed" kids are, maybe try teaching them some actual independence, logic, and how to connect ideas. Or better yet, teach them some basic manners and culture—because clearly, a lot of you are lacking that! It's all just noise about how much is being demanded of them, while the fact that most of these kids can't even say "Good morning" or "Goodbye" when walking into or out of school is totally ignored. ☕

Whatever. I knew I shouldn't have jumped into this argument, I just got pissed off. 😠

😁
I totally hear you!

Karen Richardson3 said:summer: honestly, I bet parents of kids in middle school feel the exact same way when they flip through those history textbooks—they just stare at them in disbelief, totally missing the fact that you basically have to boil an entire chapter down to five tiny bullet points just to write them in a notebook.

but let’s be real for a second about what’s actually happening here: everyone is convinced their kid is some kind of genius who absolutely deserves an A, when the reality is that every single classroom follows the same pattern—you’ve got a few superstars, a few kids who struggle, and then a whole bunch of average students.

so the real issue is that the complaining mostly comes from the parents whose kids are just sitting right in that average bracket. it feels like there's this massive push to force kids, who might have been perfectly happy heading toward a trade school or a specialized vocational program, straight into elite prep schools and four-year universities.

I mean, look at how things are going lately: the curriculum has never been more intense, you've got these exhausted parents staying up late helping their kids study, and then suddenly everyone is bragging about a record-breaking number of Honor Roll students.
basically, these high grades are being manufactured. if you have to sit there and coach a kid through every single step of their middle school work just to get them an A, then that kid isn't actually hitting those marks on their own, and frankly, they haven't earned that grade.

🙂

frozenrider15 said:That all sounds lovely and idyllic, but if you don't have children yet, you're in for a rude awakening when reality hits. Once a child starts school, you'll realize there's an unspoken expectation that parents act as unpaid teaching assistants to meet the school's demands.
True, what you and your child expect from the school matters. What are your expectations regarding grades? Do you even have any? Would you—and would your child—actually be satisfied with mediocre grades just because it meant you didn't have to "work" through schoolwork at home? If straight A's aren't your priority, they aren't mine either. I know my kid, and I know the hurdles we'll face once they start school. That said, I'm not saying I won't step in if it becomes necessary to help them grasp a concept. I'll do what I can to make things easier for them, not just to chase a perfect GPA.

Back in my day, nobody sat down with me to help with homework, not in first grade or any grade thereafter (I didn't attend after-school programs). Nobody tutored me; they just listened while I read aloud. I can't recall much about literature assignments 🤔 so I won't dwell on that, but the fact remains: very few kids today can manage their schoolwork entirely on their own. It's not because they're less intelligent; it's because they're different. Their lifestyle is fundamentally different, just like someone mentioned earlier... kids today lack the foundational experiences we used to bring into the classroom. They don't notice changes in nature firsthand (they have to "study" and "memorize" them later in a desk), they don't necessarily know basic terminology like the difference between a curb and a sidewalk (they lack that vocabulary, so learning it feels like extra work), and while they can recite the days of the week like a nursery rhyme, asking them which day it was yesterday can be a struggle... there are countless things we adults take for granted that our children simply "know." Today's kids don't even know how to behave on a public bus (this is just an observation from my little one, so please, no offense intended), and they can't describe the route from their house to school (because we drive them everywhere). It's exhausting when they struggle to memorize a simple poem because the skill of rote memorization hasn't been developed. When I was young, I knew dozens of songs by heart, phone numbers, and we were given at least one poem a week to memorize. Nowadays, it's a massive ordeal if a child has to remember three stanzas of a song for music class.

So, you're telling me that out of all the tools a parent has—from hiking through the woods to hitting up a science museum, from watching smart documentaries to browsing encyclopedias at the local library or checking out cool educational websites—none of that actually matters during the preschool years?

If that's the case, what exactly are parents teaching their kids these days? Is it just which seasonal sales are happening or what the newest iPhone model is?

I honestly don't get it.

Actually, I do get it, but it's probably too rude to say it out loud.

feralgardener33 said:A hundred-page reading assignment for a first grader?! And parents are just expected to do the heavy lifting for them?!
Then you have people claiming kids today don't have it as hard as we did, arguing that they're "less burdened" because parts of the curriculum get cut every year (if that's the case, what on earth were we dealing with back then?)
Let me be clear: during my first four years of elementary school, I didn't do a single thing at home. Nothing. Zero. All my homework and studying happened strictly within the school walls since I was in an after-school program. Do you teachers actually grasp how little time a parent truly has with their child once school starts? If a kid is expected to spend every waking hour on academics, all other activities just fall by the wayside. It’s not right.
And what you just wrote honestly shocked me. Are you suggesting that only the "super intelligent" types—those with some supposedly advanced way of thinking—deserve straight A's? That they just got lucky at birth or happen to have highly educated parents, while everyone else is predestined to struggle with C's and B's regardless of how much effort or heart they put into their work? That's just awful.

Yeah, I stand by every word I said. ☕
Not everyone is built to be a straight-A student, and they won't be—hello?! Of course all kids have equal value, but they don't have equal abilities. Someone's going to be a PhD, and someone's going to be a contractor... and that's perfectly fine. That's how it should be. It's attitudes like yours that cause this flood of fake honor roll students in American elementary schools. I get that it's hard to accept when your kid is just average (which most of them are), so let's just blame the teacher or say the workload is too heavy... just don't blame the teacher for a kid's actual performance and progress based on how hard they try. Why don't we just scrap school entirely and hand out A's to everyone? 🤦
Do I understand how much time you have to spend with your kid? No, and frankly, I don't care. That's your kid and your responsibility. Work with them or don't, but don't dump the failures and frustrations onto the school or the teachers.
Obviously, exam questions are designed with varying difficulty levels. Average or below-average kids won't solve the hard ones, while the high achievers will. It's basic natural selection. Why are we so offended by that just because we're talking about children? 🤷
Being an honor roll student doesn't mean they're a better human being or a better friend—it just means they have better abilities. They grasp things faster and easier. They're intellectually more developed, so they get the A's more quickly.
It's relatively easy to be a straight-A student from grades 1 through 4, whether it's because they're naturally gifted or because their parents are forcing them. But later on, when things get harder and rote memorization stops working, you really see the difference between true high achievers and the "fake" ones. You also have to factor in persistence. An average kid can be an honor roll student if they work incredibly hard, and a genius can be a terrible student.

You know, I’ve been wondering what the professors would say about this: how do American students actually stack up against the rest of the world in international competitions these days?

I mean, given how many brilliant, diamond-in-the-rough kids we have and just how intense our school curriculum is—which so many people seem to breeze through with top marks—I can't help but assume we're absolutely crushing it on the global stage, right?

Karen Richardson3 said:So, you're telling me that out of all the tools a parent has—from hiking through the woods to hitting up a science museum, from watching smart documentaries to browsing encyclopedias at the local library or checking out cool educational websites—none of that actually matters during the preschool years?

If that's the case, what exactly are parents teaching their kids these days? Is it just which seasonal sales are happening or what the newest iPhone model is?

I honestly don't get it.

Actually, I do get it, but it's probably too rude to say it out loud.

You hit the nail on the head.

A huge chunk of people I know have honestly never once taken their children to a museum, a theater, or even a local library.
But seriously—never.😢

People seem to make fun of libraries quite a bit, too; I constantly get these comments about who actually goes to borrow books anymore. First they use the word "😲borrow"😲 and then they act like "books"😲 are some kind of relic from the past.

Karen Richardson3 said:You know, I’ve been wondering what the professors would say about this: how do American students actually stack up against the rest of the world in international competitions these days?

I mean, given how many brilliant, diamond-in-the-rough kids we have and just how intense our school curriculum is—which so many people seem to breeze through with top marks—I can't help but assume we're absolutely crushing it on the global stage, right?

Aside from math, computer science, and physics—where the results have been pretty solid—I can’t really recall us making much of an impact in other international competitions over the last twenty years or so.🤔

I suppose someone might have to correct me there, though.🙂😬

feralgardener33 said:A hundred-page reading assignment for a first grader?! And parents are just expected to do the heavy lifting for them?!
Then you have people claiming kids today don't have it as hard as we did, arguing that they're "less burdened" because parts of the curriculum get cut every year (if that's the case, what on earth were we dealing with back then?)
Let me be clear: during my first four years of elementary school, I didn't do a single thing at home. Nothing. Zero. All my homework and studying happened strictly within the school walls since I was in an after-school program. Do you teachers actually grasp how little time a parent truly has with their child once school starts? If a kid is expected to spend every waking hour on academics, all other activities just fall by the wayside. It’s not right.
And what you just wrote honestly shocked me. Are you suggesting that only the "super intelligent" types—those with some supposedly advanced way of thinking—deserve straight A's? That they just got lucky at birth or happen to have highly educated parents, while everyone else is predestined to struggle with C's and B's regardless of how much effort or heart they put into their work? That's just awful.

Not quite, though. It’s more that a gifted kid will breeze through the standard elementary school curriculum without breaking a sweat, whereas if a kid struggles a bit more, the parents end up having to step in and do all the heavy lifting themselves.

The real headache comes when a kid who isn't naturally hitting those high marks also happens to have parents who aren't particularly academic themselves; they end up blaming the entire American school system instead of looking at the situation at home.

I mean, come on, we're talking about elementary school here. Anything anyone without special needs can handle—it's really just a question of what kind of grade they walk away with.

Do people complain about crazy intense coaches or how demanding a drill is if their kid just doesn't have the natural talent for soccer? I’m asking for real, because honestly, I feel like I can't make sense of anything in this crazy country anymore.

rowdypanther12 said:I honestly don't quite follow you—I'm not sure why you're surprised by my reaction. I have no intention of doing my child's schoolwork for them; I just want them to go to class, learn, and handle their own responsibilities.
I don't want it to be assumed that I'll be stepping in to help, especially with assignments that seem to require parent involvement for 90% of kids.
Since she’ll be starting elementary school at seven and a half and can already read, I’m confident she’ll be able to tackle these worksheets on her own.
But honestly, I don't think this is a reasonable task for a kid who's just starting school and still mastering reading.
It feels wrong to me that there's an expectation for parents to do schoolwork alongside their children. Sorry if I'm behind the times, but I just don't see it as normal.

Okay, you seriously need a reality check.
Do you live in a bubble where nobody actually has school-aged kids? Because what you're saying is wild.
You really think your kid is just going to walk into first grade and handle everything solo without any help? Good grief.😵Don't take this personally since we're strangers, but I genuinely can't believe someone is this out of touch with how things work.
Anyway, good luck with the start of the school year. Hope it goes well. And please, for the love of God, check back in a few months and tell us how your kid is supposedly managing every single assignment entirely by themselves.😉

urbantinker8 said:Aside from math, computer science, and physics—where the results have been pretty solid—I can’t really recall us making much of an impact in other international competitions over the last twenty years or so.🤔

I suppose someone might have to correct me there, though.🙂😬

That’s just great, because I was literally just scrolling through Facebook the other day reading about how we failed to qualify for an international coding competition for the first time ever, and the mentor's take on it was basically, "Well, it took us twenty years to completely wreck the math programs in our schools, and hey, mission accomplished."

Karen Richardson3 said:Not quite, though. It’s more that a gifted kid will breeze through the standard elementary school curriculum without breaking a sweat, whereas if a kid struggles a bit more, the parents end up having to step in and do all the heavy lifting themselves.

The real headache comes when a kid who isn't naturally hitting those high marks also happens to have parents who aren't particularly academic themselves; they end up blaming the entire American school system instead of looking at the situation at home.

I mean, come on, we're talking about elementary school here. Anything anyone without special needs can handle—it's really just a question of what kind of grade they walk away with.

Do people complain about crazy intense coaches or how demanding a drill is if their kid just doesn't have the natural talent for soccer? I’m asking for real, because honestly, I feel like I can't make sense of anything in this crazy country anymore.

All I can say to this is 🙏🙏
And it's especially annoying 👍 seeing this coming from someone who isn't even an educator!
Man, if we actually had more parents like that, our education system wouldn't be such a complete mess.😛

feralgardener33 said:I really hope you're right. I don't have any kids in school yet, so I wouldn't know. My sincere hope is that when she eventually starts, I won't be stuck doing her homework for her.
But listening to the moms in my circle, it's a different story. Almost every parent I talk to complains about the endless hours spent helping with homework, leaving them with zero free time.
And that thing about the required reading wasn't just me making stuff up; one mom mentioned her kid was assigned a hundred-page book that had to be finished in a single week.

So seriously, stop taking everything you read online to heart and just wait until your little one actually starts school, then you'll see firsthand that it's really not that big of a deal 😁 ...you're stressing out for no reason and just building up this huge mental image in your head that has absolutely nothing to do with reality...
The whole homework situation when they start school isn't even more intense or difficult than what you're already doing with them now...
While they're busy scribbling through their assignments, you can easily whip up lunch, fold laundry, and all that... once they're done, glancing over their work isn't any harder than looking at a drawing your kid made for you today....and as for studying, you can totally turn that into a game while you're getting other things done; there isn't an overwhelming amount of material and it's not nearly as scary as it sounds, plus most of it is stuff your kid probably already knows, you might just need to frame it a slightly different way so they grasp it, you know... like... asking them what they did outside today, or talking about personal hygiene... like, what do we need to do to stay clean and tidy? Just let them tell you, and if they miss something, fill in the gaps... plenty of them struggle with breaking words down into syllables....if you ask them to do it, they act like they've never heard of it, but if you have them sing the word, they can do it perfectly....is it really that hard? Just tell them to sing it the same way... see? Problem solved....as for addition and subtraction, just tell them to imagine they're counting pieces of candy or dollars, and don't sweat it, they'll pick it up faster than you think....and reading assignments, how do you get them interested? I don't know, maybe when they want a cookie, some pancakes, or whatever, say, "Okay... I'll make that for you, but while I'm working, you read this book to me..." and trust me, they will read...

There are tons of tricks to get them motivated to learn and how to help them, anyway, most of them actually *want* to do it, especially in first grade... they all love it when they know something and get a little shout-out from their teacher...
Plus, from the very beginning, you're building those habits and encouraging them to learn, which is going to benefit both you and them down the road....
The key is just staying consistent, like spending a little time every day after school reviewing what they learned that day... and honestly, you'll never have a problem...

And, frankly, speaking as a parent (not that anyone take this the wrong way), I really don't get how first grade and studying is such a struggle for some parents...
I mean, since the moment they were born, we've been dedicated to them... if we had enough time to feed them every four hours and spend that much time changing diapers, how can we suddenly claim we don't have time for learning now? We taught these kids how to talk, walk, and wash their hands... all of that took time and we found it....now, all of a sudden, we just don't have it?😲

@tanita - looks like some parents just clock out once their kid starts first grade.
From then on, they only care if the kid is fed and dressed, while completely dumping all the actual thinking, learning, and parenting onto the teacher.🙂

Adam Evans62 said:Okay, you seriously need a reality check.
Do you live in a bubble where nobody actually has school-aged kids? Because what you're saying is wild.
You really think your kid is just going to walk into first grade and handle everything solo without any help? Good grief.😵Don't take this personally since we're strangers, but I genuinely can't believe someone is this out of touch with how things work.
Anyway, good luck with the start of the school year. Hope it goes well. And please, for the love of God, check back in a few months and tell us how your kid is supposedly managing every single assignment entirely by themselves.😉

So, I get what you're saying. I'm also convinced that all of this is doable and that the curriculum isn't even harder than when we were kids—if anything, it's easier—so comments like this just really throw me off.
Since you're a teacher, could you please explain something to me?
I still have some time before school starts, but I'm a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to preparation.😂
When did it become "normal" to EXPECT parents to do the schoolwork alongside their kids? I was just talking to my neighbor about this; there are parents who push their kids to get straight A's and everything, yet the teachers themselves assign homework that basically assumes parents are going to step in and help!
Since when, and why?!
Isn't it reasonable to expect a 7-year-old girl who is mature and responsible to be able to handle her own school responsibilities?

Karen Richardson3 said:That’s just great, because I was literally just scrolling through Facebook the other day reading about how we failed to qualify for an international coding competition for the first time ever, and the mentor's take on it was basically, "Well, it took us twenty years to completely wreck the math programs in our schools, and hey, mission accomplished."

Yeah, we're probably going to screw up everything else that still matters, too.
Why?

It's all because of this constant pressure to just cave to whatever the kids—and, you know, the parents—want.
We're heading straight toward the American model.🙂
The curriculum gets watered down, the coursework becomes increasingly ridiculous, there's this push to cut the number of subjects, which leads to trimming class hours, and textbooks get worse and worse in this desperate attempt to be "modern," while grading standards just keep sliding...
Right now, we're drowning in students getting perfect marks, but tomorrow, we'll just have a bunch of people who don't know anything.

International competitions...?🤣
I mean, why would anyone even bother showing up to something like that anymore?😕

And I absolutely agree with tanita.

Lawrence Torres56 said:So seriously, stop taking everything you read online to heart and just wait until your little one actually starts school, then you'll see firsthand that it's really not that big of a deal 😁 ...you're stressing out for no reason and just building up this huge mental image in your head that has absolutely nothing to do with reality...
The whole homework situation when they start school isn't even more intense or difficult than what you're already doing with them now...
While they're busy scribbling through their assignments, you can easily whip up lunch, fold laundry, and all that... once they're done, glancing over their work isn't any harder than looking at a drawing your kid made for you today....and as for studying, you can totally turn that into a game while you're getting other things done; there isn't an overwhelming amount of material and it's not nearly as scary as it sounds, plus most of it is stuff your kid probably already knows, you might just need to frame it a slightly different way so they grasp it, you know... like... asking them what they did outside today, or talking about personal hygiene... like, what do we need to do to stay clean and tidy? Just let them tell you, and if they miss something, fill in the gaps... plenty of them struggle with breaking words down into syllables....if you ask them to do it, they act like they've never heard of it, but if you have them sing the word, they can do it perfectly....is it really that hard? Just tell them to sing it the same way... see? Problem solved....as for addition and subtraction, just tell them to imagine they're counting pieces of candy or dollars, and don't sweat it, they'll pick it up faster than you think....and reading assignments, how do you get them interested? I don't know, maybe when they want a cookie, some pancakes, or whatever, say, "Okay... I'll make that for you, but while I'm working, you read this book to me..." and trust me, they will read...

There are tons of tricks to get them motivated to learn and how to help them, anyway, most of them actually *want* to do it, especially in first grade... they all love it when they know something and get a little shout-out from their teacher...
Plus, from the very beginning, you're building those habits and encouraging them to learn, which is going to benefit both you and them down the road....
The key is just staying consistent, like spending a little time every day after school reviewing what they learned that day... and honestly, you'll never have a problem...

And, frankly, speaking as a parent (not that anyone take this the wrong way), I really don't get how first grade and studying is such a struggle for some parents...
I mean, since the moment they were born, we've been dedicated to them... if we had enough time to feed them every four hours and spend that much time changing diapers, how can we suddenly claim we don't have time for learning now? We taught these kids how to talk, walk, and wash their hands... all of that took time and we found it....now, all of a sudden, we just don't have it?😲

Listen, for the stuff mentioned above, there wasn't some big school system—it was just us.

But where schools actually exist, who the hell am I supposed to be for them?

Plus, if the public school curriculum is designed so that any average kid can pass, yet your average kid is already struggling... I mean, how are they even teaching this "average" curriculum if the average parent has to work a full-time job just so their average kid can get through an average program?

Adam Evans62 said:Okay, you seriously need a reality check.
Do you live in a bubble where nobody actually has school-aged kids? Because what you're saying is wild.
You really think your kid is just going to walk into first grade and handle everything solo without any help? Good grief.😵Don't take this personally since we're strangers, but I genuinely can't believe someone is this out of touch with how things work.
Anyway, good luck with the start of the school year. Hope it goes well. And please, for the love of God, check back in a few months and tell us how your kid is supposedly managing every single assignment entirely by themselves.😉

Now you've gone and twisted half of what I said, but whatever, it doesn't matter. You don't know me, you don't know my kid, and you don't know how I parent, so you're forgiven. 😁 Look, I'm not attacking you, nor am I saying teachers are to blame. I jumped into this debate (even though I don't have kids in school yet and have zero clue what the day-to-day looks like) simply because all I hear from the parents around me is constant complaining about their kids' schooling. It made me think everyone was probably exaggerating (though, really, can everyone be exaggerating at once?). I'm holding onto hope that they *are* exaggerating and it won't actually turn out that bad.
As a parent, I make sure we go to the theater, museums, and field trips; we're regulars at the local library and all that. I'd like to actually have the time for those things once school starts. It's not that I don't want to help my child—which is what you keep insisting—but I do feel like they should be able to handle most things on their own (with just a little guidance). Based on the teacher posts here, it sounds like it's either unrealistic or not even worth expecting an average student to master the material independently. (Maybe I'm being subjective since I was one of those straight-A students who thought everything was easy—it's a philosophy, I guess: learn the stuff, get the A).
And no, I don't think my kid is some genius, nor do I think they're always right. I'm not one of *those* parents.