Grading Freshmen

Jason Ortiz5 said:I’m gonna jump in here with an off-topic thought. If the mods aren't cool with it, please feel free to move this to its own thread.

I’ve got a question for the experts and anyone else here who works with kids... My little girl is almost 5 now, but she’s already reading pretty smoothly. She tackles her little books all by herself—not just picture books, but actual storybooks and poems. Sometimes she’ll stop to ask me about a long word she doesn't recognize, but that's about it. She handles lowercase letters like a pro, and she can even make sense of my handwriting (I went to technical school, so my print is super neat). Writing is a bit more of a struggle; she knows her uppercase letters, but she still flips them around sometimes, though given her fine motor skills, I think it's totally fine. Occasionally, she’ll find a note I left for my husband on the table 😉 and try to copy down exactly what I wrote. No one has really done anything specific with her; if she asks me to show her how to do something, I will, but I haven't wanted to push her too hard since she's so young. It's the same with her grandparents, and even at her preschool, they say they teach reading, but they don't force it at this age. I think she was just naturally curious—she’s always been a total sponge—so she put in the work. I see the same thing happening with her English classes at preschool; she honestly just loves learning. Her school is pretty big on building study habits early, too. They have this preschool curriculum approved by the Department of Education that runs for maybe 250 hours. The kids actually get regular assignments, and the teachers grade them with smiley faces or frowny ones... 😍

So, what do I do? By September, I need to decide if I should enroll her in the advanced preschool track so I can request she starts kindergarten at 6. Or should I just let her be for another year and let her go through the process along with her friends from preschool? She’s still such a playful kid and has so many buddies in her group... But then again, she makes new friends easily, and hanging out with older kids isn't a big deal to her at all.

My fear is that if I wait until she's 7, she’ll just be bored in first grade. She might get restless or lose interest altogether... And I’d hate to see her lose that spark for learning if I don't absolutely have to.

I asked Jason Ortiz5 for her take since she's a teacher. She thinks I should wait until she's 7, saying kids like hers are easy to handle and I shouldn't worry. But honestly, how can I expect a woman managing a class of 25 kids to give special attention to just a few of them while ignoring the ones who actually need the extra academic challenge? It feels unrealistic to me. Plus, a friend of mine whose sister is also a teacher told me she totally regretted waiting until her son turned 7...

I feel like I'm losing it... So, I'm asking the pros for advice, comments, anything that could help me make this call. The teachers at the preschool promised to check if there are any maturity assessments for kids this age. I feel silly even thinking about going to the school psychologist, though. It feels like overkill. I already feel like I'm overthinking this and being a total nuisance...

Man, why didn't anyone warn me that being a parent is this hard? 😢

Ask the preschool psychologist.
It would be great if they could do a formal assessment and observe her a bit. And honestly, if she's showing interest in school now, why force her to just play?
I haven't actually met your little one, so I’d feel a bit silly judging based just on what you've told me. That said, starting school at seven might get a bit repetitive for her... who knows what else she'll pick up and learn by then?

And hey, you can always look into seeing a different psychologist outside of the preschool program. Psychologists aren't just there for kids with specific disorders!

Look, all I know is that my husband and I both roll through the door around 4:30 PM
The second I walk in, I’m on lunch duty—because, you know, we actually need to eat—and then it’s straight into the dishes... plus I have to tackle whatever little chores are piling up if I don't want us tripping over laundry or having my eighteen-month-old scavenger hunt for crumbs off the floor.
And then, out of nowhere, every few days there’s some new "emergency" obligation... like, oh, we need to hit the speech therapist, or the dentist, or take the toddler to a checkup or get shots... plus the endless grocery runs just to keep the pantry stocked. It’s just one thing after another.
Trying to cram all that chaos into the two or three hours of free time I actually have in the afternoon is basically impossible.
I can't even push studying to the evening because my daughter—she’s in second grade—already struggles enough with staying focused... and once she gets tired, it stops being "learning" and turns into pure torture. I end up having to do way more work with her than a parent of a kid without these issues would ever have to do, and frankly, I just don't have the bandwidth for it.

As for how hard the schoolwork is... honestly, I think it all comes down to how they present it. Like, does a second grader really need to memorize the technical distinction between a marsh and a swamp? (I’d bet 80% of adults couldn't tell you the difference anyway). Or can they explain it nicely with pictures and real-world examples? Then there was that assignment where they had photos of different museums and had to label them—archaeology, tech, contemporary, etc. I’m not exactly an art buff, and I honestly wasn't even sure if I helped her finish that homework correctly, let alone if she actually understood what she was doing.

And grading... I feel like grades aren't even the big deal. I don't care about my daughter getting straight A's if it doesn't actually reflect what she knows. What I have noticed is that she actually has a solid grasp on the material, but she loses points on tests simply because she misinterprets the question, not because she doesn't know the answer.

But hey, I guess that's just life.

David Palmer5 said:I have to disagree.
I consider myself part of the "old school" generation, but I still have some first-grade handwriting samples at home where you can clearly see we were taught cursive. We actually used fountain pens.
And don't even get me started on having to learn two different alphabets; we had to master both scripts through elementary school and high school...
Back then, we were required to memorize all the poems we studied in literature class, which isn't really how things are done anymore.
Oh, and yeah, we even had classes on Saturdays.
The actual curriculum hasn't changed much in a hundred years—even the required reading lists are more or less the same.

It was the lifestyle that was different.
Our parents usually worked until 3:00 PM, so they could spend the whole afternoon with us. Families actually talked to one another, read together, played board games... we spent our time running around parks and backyards, so our motor skills were much more developed than kids have today. Nowadays, most kids are glued to a TV or a computer playing video games. When we were little, we’d walk to the corner store by ourselves, which helped us pick up math much faster because it was applied to something real.
There was so much more face-to-face communication and reading. Very few people owned a TV, so when there was a show on, the whole family watched it together, discussing and commenting on it. Today, almost every kid has their own TV in their bedroom, which has killed off that shared interaction and conversation—things that are vital for language development.
Kids these days spend about five or six hours a day watching mindless soap operas or texting each other on social media (just look at the way those messages are written!).
Also, it was perfectly normal if only three or four students in a class were honor roll students. No one made a huge scene or called the Board of Education if a kid brought home a grade lower than a B.

P.S. Just to be clear, I don't work in education; I'm just trying to offer an objective perspective.

I think you might be idealizing the past quite a bit. My mom grew up in a rural area, and most parents back then were manual laborers or fishermen doing grueling work. They weren't exactly known for sitting down for deep educational talks with their children. For most, being a good parent meant ensuring the kid had a roof over their head, shoes on their feet, and food on the table. They couldn't really help with schoolwork because most only went through maybe 8th grade, and honestly, they didn't view tutoring as their responsibility. It wasn't that they didn't play games with their kids; it was more that the kids were essentially extra hands helping out with the chores and labor. As for sex education? That usually consisted of "Watch what you're doing, or you won't be welcome back home."
My dad lived in the city, so they might have been slightly more progressive and went on the occasional family trip, but even then, they didn't hover over their children the way parents do today.
And let's not forget how many people moved to Germany for work and left their children behind with grandparents. (Like those letters sent to fathers working in Germany: 1, 2)

Regarding grading in first grade... I’m still firmly against using letter grades or numbers at this age. I truly believe it fails to send a clear message to these little ones about what they’ve actually mastered versus what they haven't. And honestly, it doesn't help parents much either—you always have those who feel embarrassed if their kid gets a B instead of an A. And don't even get me started on the craziness of local newspapers publishing lists of kids who got straight As. It’s no wonder teachers sometimes hand out easy A's just to keep kids from feeling discouraged or to boost their self-esteem. In those cases, whether a child can actually read is treated as less important than what grade is written in the report card to show off to the grandparents, who then reward that "hard work" with a new phone or a bike.
Here are a few examples from my own experience:
A mother once came to me complaining that her child's performance had suddenly dropped (he used to get all A's from 1st to 4th grade). He just can't seem to adjust to different teachers, even though she sits with him for two or three hours every single day. Now, his highest grade is a C...
1. The child can't actually read... I mean, they struggle with letters in longer words, and reading comprehension just isn't there yet.
2. The mom isn't really studying *with* him; she's doing the work *for* him (she'll grab a history textbook, take notes, and just tell him the story instead).
3. Every single teacher he's struggled to adapt to has made it very clear, both to the student and the parent, that he needs to learn how to read first. Truth hurts, right?

I've seen plenty of examples, some even more extreme than these, but the saddest ones for me are when learning disabilities are diagnosed far too late because they were masked by those fake A's for years.

So, instead of questioning why the teachers are being "strict," maybe ask yourself if my child can actually read and if they truly earned that A!
A child who receives nothing but A's has no incentive to study harder. But a child who earns a C—if their parents don't crush their spirit with high expectations and personal complexes—will put in the extra effort to reach a B or even an A (assuming, of course, the child has the cognitive ability to do so... sometimes we just have to accept that reality).

silverpuma542 said:I think you might be idealizing the past quite a bit. My mom grew up in a rural area, and most parents back then were manual laborers or fishermen doing grueling work. They weren't exactly known for sitting down for deep educational talks with their children. For most, being a good parent meant ensuring the kid had a roof over their head, shoes on their feet, and food on the table. They couldn't really help with schoolwork because most only went through maybe 8th grade, and honestly, they didn't view tutoring as their responsibility. It wasn't that they didn't play games with their kids; it was more that the kids were essentially extra hands helping out with the chores and labor. As for sex education? That usually consisted of "Watch what you're doing, or you won't be welcome back home."
My dad lived in the city, so they might have been slightly more progressive and went on the occasional family trip, but even then, they didn't hover over their children the way parents do today.
And let's not forget how many people moved to Germany for work and left their children behind with grandparents. (Like those letters sent to fathers working in Germany: 1, 2)

I’m just sharing what life was actually like for me and my friends.
See, we lived in Chicago, and my parents were highly educated. We talked about everything under the sun. They made sure to take me to the theater, movies, and concerts, and we actually spent quality time together.
Of course, life in the countryside was tougher, and things were different there.
I'm simply describing my own upbringing and what I saw growing up with my peers.
It feels to me like parents today just don't have the same bandwidth. Between different work schedules and long hours, even when they *are* home, that precious family time often gets swallowed up by everyone staring at a TV or playing video games.

And as for whether the curriculum was as deep as it is now? It definitely was.
We had to master our history and fundamentals.
If we had to memorize every single song or poem, we did it.
We even had classes on Saturdays sometimes.
And yeah, getting on the Honor Roll was way harder back then than it is today.
But hey, what can I do about it? That's just how it was.

silverpuma542 said:I'm definitely no expert, but here's my own experience. My brother and I both learned how to read, write, tell time, and calculate change for groceries before we ever stepped foot in a classroom.
We both took the entrance assessments at age six and passed them easily, but they ended up enrolling me at six and him at seven.

He was more of the playful, cuddly type, whereas I was practically counting down the days until school started. When he finally started at seven, he was one of the smaller kids in his class, while I was the youngest—and somehow the tallest. 😵

Mom said she felt certain about putting me in early after this little anecdote:
"Mom, you know, my teacher told me today that I could read stories to everyone."
"Oh yeah? Did you do it?"
"Yeah, but I kept reading and reading, and I got quieter and quieter and quieter..."
"??"
"...and they kept getting closer and closer and closer. Me getting quieter, and them getting closer."
"But why, silverpuma542?"
"Mom, so they could learn to read too!"

😬

Anyway, just ask her if she's actually ready for school. As for what your mother-in-law is saying, you can probably bet she's right. I remember being bored half to death from first through fourth grade, so imagine if I had started even earlier! Thank goodness my math teacher at least gave us extra work, because during English, she never had any ideas and would just tell us to read something else from our reading books—and I'd finish the whole book the same day we bought it. 😵
Getting extra assignments really depends on the individual teacher and the specific school district...

That’s actually one more thing weighing on my mind... 😵 My little one isn't even five yet, but she's already 45 inches tall. If I wait until she's officially old enough for kindergarten, everyone is going to think she's my twin... 😁

For what it's worth, I started school at six. I loved it. She's already playing "school" around the house, talking about how much she wants to go, though I wonder if she's just picking up on her older cousin's excitement since they play together all the time and the cousin is already in school.

Carol Parker said:@shtefy so when is your girl actually turning 6, like, when do you finally need to get official permission?

That’s the tricky part. Her birthday is May 2nd next year, but the cutoff date for enrollment is March 31st. I assume there's some whole process involving special requests, getting waivers, maybe some testing... honestly, I have no clue. If I wait, she won't start until she's nearly seven and a half.

I've got until September to make a call, but I have a feeling I won't be any more certain by then than I am right now.

Jason Ortiz5 said:That’s actually one more thing weighing on my mind... 😵 My little one isn't even five yet, but she's already 45 inches tall. If I wait until she's officially old enough for kindergarten, everyone is going to think she's my twin... 😁

For what it's worth, I started school at six. I loved it. She's already playing "school" around the house, talking about how much she wants to go, though I wonder if she's just picking up on her older cousin's excitement since they play together all the time and the cousin is already in school.

That’s the tricky part. Her birthday is May 2nd next year, but the cutoff date for enrollment is March 31st. I assume there's some whole process involving special requests, getting waivers, maybe some testing... honestly, I have no clue. If I wait, she won't start until she's nearly seven and a half.

I've got until September to make a call, but I have a feeling I won't be any more certain by then than I am right now.

From what I remember, there's an extra assessment involved. I think I had to circle all the birds in a picture, draw out my family, and listen to a story where I had to identify specific objects mentioned... they even asked my brother which city and state he lived in! There was also this pattern sequence thing—triangle, square, circle, triangle, square—and I had to figure out what came next. It's all a bit fuzzy now. 🤷

I don't recall anything regarding a medical exam.

[B says:
[/B]shtefy;24866050

It’s a bit of a headache—she hits 6 next May on 05/02. But the cutoff is 03/31. I’m guessing that means filing special requests, getting approvals, doing all those tests... honestly, who knows. If I wait, she’ll basically be starting school at 7.5.

I’ve got until September to make a call, but I highly doubt I’ll suddenly become some genius by then...

So she’d start around 6.5. Not exactly early, really...
Mine was already reading and writing at 5, but back in September he was only 6.2 and just seemed way too hyper—like he wasn't ready for the grind. We held him back an extra year in preschool and it was definitely the right move. Now he’s actually focused, takes care of his books, and stays on task—stuff he wouldn't have even dreamed of a year ago.
And he isn't bored either. At first, he was like, "just teach me what I already know," but then his teacher started throwing in extra math and advanced English worksheets to keep him busy, and he loves it. He flies through the standard homework in seconds, then gets a challenge sheet to keep him occupied.

Kate Sullivan12, my friend was tripping out over all this because she was the only kid from preschool who wasn't supposed to be moving on to kindergarten while everyone else was.

Anyway, the doctor did a physical exam—she was kicking paper balls around, walking along lines blindfolded, having to touch different body parts with her hands and all that stuff.

The psych test was basically just chatting with a psychologist. She had to identify colors, animals, draw her family, list the days of the week, point at a clock... (it’s not about knowing everything, just the psychologist watching how she reacts.)

Afterward, the psychologist talked to her mom about how she behaves and how resourceful she is, then said they didn't see any reason why she couldn't start school.

That was last year, so I doubt anything has changed...

Jason Ortiz5 said:That’s actually one more thing weighing on my mind... 😵 My little one isn't even five yet, but she's already 45 inches tall. If I wait until she's officially old enough for kindergarten, everyone is going to think she's my twin... 😁

For what it's worth, I started school at six. I loved it. She's already playing "school" around the house, talking about how much she wants to go, though I wonder if she's just picking up on her older cousin's excitement since they play together all the time and the cousin is already in school.

That’s the tricky part. Her birthday is May 2nd next year, but the cutoff date for enrollment is March 31st. I assume there's some whole process involving special requests, getting waivers, maybe some testing... honestly, I have no clue. If I wait, she won't start until she's nearly seven and a half.

I've got until September to make a call, but I have a feeling I won't be any more certain by then than I am right now.

So, my folks were actually born right on that cutoff date, before March 31st, and I don't know, I guess I was just overthinking things about whether or not to get the kid vaccinated... maybe I was just being extra cautious, I guess.
I mean, I guess giving him 7.5 was probably overkill, so I just went ahead and handed it over anyway.
I mean, I’ll probably see her soon, but she isn't even hitting that five-month mark for another two months anyway. Once she does, she’ll pretty much be forced to deal with the next thing on the list. It's just how it goes, I guess.
Man, after all these years of being stuck in school, I guess you could say they’re actually counting down the days until graduation. They're basically itching to get out of there.
So, I just started my freshman year of elementary school, and honestly? They totally botched it. Like, they completely misjudged where I was at. I’d already been reading and writing pretty much since the first half of kindergarten, so being placed in this beginner level felt like such a joke. I spent the whole semester just absolutely hating school and dreading every single piece of homework. It was pretty miserable, I guess.
And my folks? Yeah, they never once—not even once—sat down with me to go over some schoolwork or lend a hand with anything I was struggling with. I guess that was just how things were.
Assignments.

Uh, thanks everyone... 👍 I’m taking everything you guys are saying to heart. I’ve still got a few months to sit with this, wrap my head around it, and just watch how she handles things while we chat about it. Yeah, waiting until she’s almost seven is the plan, but honestly? That feels way too old to me...

I’m sure there are teachers out there who actually challenge kids like her with extra stuff, but my biggest worry is that she’ll just end up bored. Right now, she thinks learning is the best thing ever, and I don’t want to ruin that. But it’s kind of a gamble, isn't it? What if I end up with one of those uninspired, overly "easygoing" teachers? You know, the ones who let the little troublemakers run the show because they’re too tired to push back? Plus, her preschool teacher—who runs their little mini-school—is totally wild, but seriously strict. And these little kiddos absolutely adore him; they try so hard just to get a nod of approval from him. Man, I really hope I land a teacher more like him... 🙂

I can already see the sleepless nights and the facepalming ahead of me... 😢

Back at my kid's preschool last year, they had some psychologist running all these tests on the kids—basically just wrote up profiles to pass along to their elementary schools. For my son, she noted he was pretty restless and really needed a strict teacher. Well, he ended up getting one—and honestly, based on the rumors, she’s the toughest teacher in the whole district... So, I'm sitting here wondering if that was just pure luck or if they actually read those psych reports. Might be worth mentioning you want a hard-nosed teacher during enrollment.

Terry Campbell said:Back at my kid's preschool last year, they had some psychologist running all these tests on the kids—basically just wrote up profiles to pass along to their elementary schools. For my son, she noted he was pretty restless and really needed a strict teacher. Well, he ended up getting one—and honestly, based on the rumors, she’s the toughest teacher in the whole district... So, I'm sitting here wondering if that was just pure luck or if they actually read those psych reports. Might be worth mentioning you want a hard-nosed teacher during enrollment.

And then I end up with this absolute terror of a woman—my mother-in-law! There’s an entire generation of neighborhood kids who remember her as "that one lady who's always perpetually pissed off." 😲

(I actually heard people saying that, totally unaware that I was talking about my own MIL! 🤣)

Stephanie, try keeping a close eye on her and talking about school... if there’s any way to take her by for a visit once she turns 6—maybe for a Christmas pageant or an extracurricular activity arranged with her teacher—do it. Letting her actually experience the school environment firsthand will tell you everything you need to know about how she'll react.
One future student attended our Christmas pageant and was absolutely thrilled with the whole school setup—though, honestly, I have no idea what he heard about it at home since he's the oldest child in the family.
In my experience, it varies wildly; you get kids who start at seven and absolutely loathe school, showing zero interest or work ethic. Then, I have a student who started right at six and a half (born in March) who is doing fantastic; she understands her responsibilities and has developed great study habits already.

Thomas Foster4 said:Stephanie, try keeping a close eye on her and talking about school... if there’s any way to take her by for a visit once she turns 6—maybe for a Christmas pageant or an extracurricular activity arranged with her teacher—do it. Letting her actually experience the school environment firsthand will tell you everything you need to know about how she'll react.
One future student attended our Christmas pageant and was absolutely thrilled with the whole school setup—though, honestly, I have no idea what he heard about it at home since he's the oldest child in the family.
In my experience, it varies wildly; you get kids who start at seven and absolutely loathe school, showing zero interest or work ethic. Then, I have a student who started right at six and a half (born in March) who is doing fantastic; she understands her responsibilities and has developed great study habits already.

Honestly, I have a feeling that wouldn't fly at our local elementary school. 😢

She has this cousin who's in second grade right now. They hang out all the time, and she gets so excited hearing stories about school. She’ll even pretend to go to school or sit down to "do homework"...

I try to watch her closely, but it's tricky. On one hand, she genuinely loves learning and tells me she can't wait to start school and learn new things. But on the other hand, she's just such a playful little goofball. 😍 There's also this weird thing: when I chat with her teachers at daycare and tell them how she acts at home, they look at me totally confused. It seems like she's way calmer and more serious at daycare, while at home, she's a total whirlwind of energy... 😍 So, how am I supposed to get an objective read on her?

Plus, even if she visits the school and loves it, who knows how long that excitement will last? 😉

And there's another thing—I'm worried her dad might start lecturing her constantly about what school is "supposed" to be like. Her idea of school sounds pretty intimidating, even to me!

I've seen it all. There are kids who start at a full seven years old and absolutely hate school, zero interest and zero study habits. Then I have a student who started right at 6.5 (born in March) and she's doing fantastic. She gets her responsibilities and already has great work habits...

I really put a lot of faith in that daycare center. The staff there really connect with the kids. They're young, energetic, creative, and just a little bit quirky... but they aren't pushovers either. I can see the kids respond so well to them. It's not like we don't talk to her at home or teach her about being responsible, but it's different at daycare. Being around other kids makes her more competitive; she has different motivations there...😍

Stefani, just take the kid to see a preschool counselor. They’re supposed to have actual benchmarks for maturity—maybe she’s already ahead of the curve.🙂 Besides, they’ll probably need some kind of psychological clearance for kindergarten anyway—or at least that was the deal back when my little one started school about three years ago.

I started out at, say, 6.5. Born on March 20th—I was basically a fully formed adult and a straight-A student, no issues whatsoever. It’s entirely possible your little one is already totally mature, Stefani. Some kids just hit those milestones earlier, others later. Honestly, if you're worried, just ask the pros—like child psychologists or something.

placidorca16 said:I started out at, say, 6.5. Born on March 20th—I was basically a fully formed adult and a straight-A student, no issues whatsoever. It’s entirely possible your little one is already totally mature, Stefani. Some kids just hit those milestones earlier, others later. Honestly, if you're worried, just ask the pros—like child psychologists or something.

I was born on April 20th and started at 6 years and 5 months, and I was way more than ready for school...
And then there are kids who might not even be ready by 7.

I mean, let's be real—the preschool psychologist probably spends the least amount of actual time with these kids. I’m not saying I doubt her assessment or anything, but the daycare teachers are the ones actually there day in and day out. It's hard to know how much a specialist can pinpoint in such a quick little window, especially since my own daughter is all over the place. She gets super hyped about something one minute, then she's obsessed for a week, and then suddenly she's totally bored with it. Just goes how it goes, I guess!

Personally, I’d let my kid just soak up every bit of freedom for one more year... School isn't going anywhere, you know? This is honestly the only window they get where there isn't constant pressure or a mountain of obligations weighing them down. This is when they actually play, really live, and just enjoy being little...
If you’re absolutely dead-set on buying "homework" or something similar, you can always head over to a place like Barnes & Noble and pick up those activity books—you know, the ones where they fill out all sorts of busywork...