How do I get started with these changes?

jadebear25 said:Procrastination is not a lack of willpower. It is an escape. An apprehension. A SYMPTOM.
Of what? That is a question only those of us (all 🙂) who delay can truly answer.

Consider the common underlying drivers of procrastination:
1. perfectionism—the demand for flawlessness from oneself or the perceived expectation of others. In practice, this functions as a defense mechanism: if I fail, it isn't because I lack ability, but simply because I didn't allocate sufficient time. For instance, "If I had started studying for my Bar exam earlier, I wouldn't have failed—I am actually capable, I just ran out of time."

2. fear of failure—"What if I lose all the weight and still can't find a partner? Then the issue is fundamentally me—that I am inherently unworthy of love, etc." Naturally, no one engages in such a dialogue with themselves consciously. And yet, it happens.

3. fear of success—an unlikely concept to some, yet entirely plausible. Success necessitates change. What kind of changes, and how daunting might they be? What new responsibilities will I be forced to shoulder? How will my social standing shift, and how will that alter my relationships with others?

How does one halt this cycle?
1. Recognize that procrastination is merely a symptom of a deeper issue. Attempt to identify that root. Practice radical honesty with yourself.

2. cease self-flagellation. I cannot overstate the importance of this point.
Stop hurling insults at yourself simply because you delayed a task you promised to complete today. You are not unintelligent, incapable, or worthless because of a lapse in productivity. Forgive yourself. It is acceptable. You possess inherent value exactly as you are.

Imagine a close friend approached you with this exact struggle. Would you subject them to the same vitriol you direct at yourself? I highly doubt it. What would you say to them instead? Say that to yourself.

3. My preferred method: on my deathbed, 😁... will I regret spending more hours watching Netflix or sitting at a computer... or will I regret that I didn't... truly live?

I wish you all much success in your new endeavors.

That's the bottom line.👍
Fantastic post.🙂
Wordplay.😍😁

gentledrifter6 said:You know how it goes with New Year's approaching, where everyone starts claiming things are finally going to get better, and while I’m right there with them, it isn't really because of the calendar flip, but more because it feels like it's just time for a change...

I honestly want to overhaul myself both mentally and physically, and to be clear, I'm not dealing with any health issues or being overweight, but I really want to become more outgoing and get back to the kind of shape I used to be in...
Over the last few years, I've just let things slide. I spent some time drifting through life without much direction, and while I have about a thousand acquaintances, I don't actually have any true, close friends because I just haven't had the energy for it....
It's the same story with the gym, because I used to be pretty dedicated, but now I've put on a few extra pounds and I'm just not happy with how I look, yet every single time I try to start again, I end up quitting, because I can't seem to find that spark of motivation or even the basic desire to work on myself when I know deep down that I need to...

It almost feels like I'm a prisoner to my own body, wanting to improve but constantly giving up, and maybe I'm even subconsciously afraid of succeeding, so I wonder if anyone else here has dealt with this, and if so, how do you actually break free from those physical limitations?

Just go for a walk for a few miles, by yourself, find a bench or a wall to lean against... and just sit there for a while, clearing out all the mental clutter... and then just let your thoughts drift in naturally... and once they do, actually contemplate what’s surfacing—is it just old problems, or is it things you’re truly missing, things you actually crave... and what can you realistically change regarding those questions... and then you move... you want to lose weight? You can do that easily... I dropped over 50 pounds in 18 months, so if I could pull it off, you certainly can; if you're lacking the drive for the gym or running, just go on that walk I mentioned earlier.😉
just relax😉 take it one step at a time, because nothing significant happens overnight.
I don't know how old you are, or if you're working or in college or whatever... but that's your foundation; push yourself at your job or at school, but do it for yourself, not for some boss or your parents... view everything as a challenge; come home from work, eat your meal, and then wash your own dishes.😉
smile🙂
Don't take anyone or anything too seriously, including yourself... I saw this piece of graffiti in my neighborhood recently that said, "Imagine if you were happy."😉
just imagine🙂
I realize all of this might sound like empty chatter, and believe me, I am probably the last person on earth who should be handing out this kind of advice.😬
Oh, and one thing: you say you want to be better, which implies you aren't satisfied with who you are right now, and I don't think those extra pounds have anything to do with the core issue.😉Start there: why exactly do you want to be better? What is it that "isn't good enough"?
Only you have that answer... and you know it 100%... the real question is whether you can actually face it and if you truly want to deal with it...
good luck🙂

gentledrifter6 said:You know how it goes with New Year's approaching, where everyone starts claiming things are finally going to get better, and while I’m right there with them, it isn't really because of the calendar flip, but more because it feels like it's just time for a change...

I honestly want to overhaul myself both mentally and physically, and to be clear, I'm not dealing with any health issues or being overweight, but I really want to become more outgoing and get back to the kind of shape I used to be in...
Over the last few years, I've just let things slide. I spent some time drifting through life without much direction, and while I have about a thousand acquaintances, I don't actually have any true, close friends because I just haven't had the energy for it....
It's the same story with the gym, because I used to be pretty dedicated, but now I've put on a few extra pounds and I'm just not happy with how I look, yet every single time I try to start again, I end up quitting, because I can't seem to find that spark of motivation or even the basic desire to work on myself when I know deep down that I need to...

It almost feels like I'm a prisoner to my own body, wanting to improve but constantly giving up, and maybe I'm even subconsciously afraid of succeeding, so I wonder if anyone else here has dealt with this, and if so, how do you actually break free from those physical limitations?

Well? Anything new?😉
New Year's has arrived. 👍
I know "New Year's resolutions" sound cliché, but still...😁
Have you made any New Year's resolutions or mapped out a plan? Or better yet, actually started something?

gentledrifter6, I was looking at you, so go ahead and answer!🙂🙂🙂 😁

New Year's resolutions are absolute garbage 😁
Honestly, I make my moves whenever I feel like it—regardless of what the calendar says—and frankly, they’re already working 🙂

Terry Mendoza80 said:New Year's resolutions are absolute garbage 😁
Honestly, I make my moves whenever I feel like it—regardless of what the calendar says—and frankly, they’re already working 🙂

Well, we'll see how you fare.
Are these actually changes for you, or just more of the same old routine...?😉

It’s a bit of a headache to explain—honestly, quite a mess to untangle—but you could say these are some pretty massive changes 😉

Nice. So, were those just vague New Year's resolutions, like "I'll eat better from now on," or did you actually have some concrete plans in mind?

I actually had this whole grand design to reinvent myself—you know, I was dealing with some mental hurdles that were basically keeping me stuck in neutral, but I’ve pretty much worked through most of that. Once those walls came down, everything else just seemed to fall into place... if that even makes sense? It’s hard to put a finger on how to describe it differently. As for my other goals, I’m still right in the middle of executing them, so we'll just have to see how the dust settles, but for now, I’m feeling pretty optimistic 🙂

Well, those sound like significant changes. Congrats.👍
As for what I'd change about myself? I suppose I'd aim for more organization, maybe some focus or concentration. And I definitely need to tackle the main issue we're all discussing here: procrastination.😠
It's late, and I'm writing this because I can't sleep. Insomnia has always been an issue for me. It leads to waking up later than I should. Then there's the rushing, forgetting things, being late, procrastinating, losing stuff... just constant stress. Basically, chaos.
And that’s a real problem. It's hard to make any progress when everything is in {{chaos}}.
So, that would be the change I'm looking for. Eliminating the chaos and finding some order.
This past year was pretty chaotic and stressful too. Actually, it was exhausting and just plain unpleasant. All of it, combined with the insomnia, is just draining. 🙂

Alex Barnes8 said:Well, those sound like significant changes. Congrats.👍
As for what I'd change about myself? I suppose I'd aim for more organization, maybe some focus or concentration. And I definitely need to tackle the main issue we're all discussing here: procrastination.😠
It's late, and I'm writing this because I can't sleep. Insomnia has always been an issue for me. It leads to waking up later than I should. Then there's the rushing, forgetting things, being late, procrastinating, losing stuff... just constant stress. Basically, chaos.
And that’s a real problem. It's hard to make any progress when everything is in {{chaos}}.
So, that would be the change I'm looking for. Eliminating the chaos and finding some order.
This past year was pretty chaotic and stressful too. Actually, it was exhausting and just plain unpleasant. All of it, combined with the insomnia, is just draining. 🙂

Well, now you’ve gone and described me perfectly—everything mentioned there is exactly what’s eating at me. If only I could find a way to just shake it all off and be done with it... seriously, if you figure out a workaround, let me know. 🙂

Alex Barnes8 said:Well? Anything new?😉
New Year's has arrived. 👍
I know "New Year's resolutions" sound cliché, but still...😁
Have you made any New Year's resolutions or mapped out a plan? Or better yet, actually started something?

gentledrifter6, I was looking at you, so go ahead and answer!🙂🙂🙂 😁

hehehe

I honestly just finally snapped out of my post-New Year's Eve haze today, and since Monday marks a fresh start, we'll see if I fall into that cycle of telling myself "I'll do it tomorrow" or "Who wants to get up early anyway," or if things actually go according to plan. I don't mean to imply everyone here is obsessed with losing weight, because that isn't my point, but I really need to get moving again; I'm a fairly average guy at about 6'3" and 190 lbs, but the issue is that if I try to run a 200-meter sprint, it takes me an entire hour just to catch my breath, whereas just a few years ago I was easily running kilometer-long stretches, so I'm not quite sure what happened to my fitness levels.

It’s funny. People don't actually change. They just finally stop pretending and let out everything they were trying to bury.

It’s just about... getting started (even when it feels impossible) 😬
I find my drive by picturing the end goal. Visualizing how everything turns out if I actually stick to the plan. It helps to remember it's all worth it—every little grind or sacrifice we make to stay on track. You don't need to be some superhero to pull it off.

casualmoose4 said:It’s just about... getting started (even when it feels impossible) 😬
I find my drive by picturing the end goal. Visualizing how everything turns out if I actually stick to the plan. It helps to remember it's all worth it—every little grind or sacrifice we make to stay on track. You don't need to be some superhero to pull it off.

Yeah, I’ve heard that’s the way to do it. I actually used that approach once before with certain things, and I guess it worked. 👍
Maybe I'll give it a shot. Hopefully I can get back to being normal.😁