Workplace harassment/bullying

feralcobra92 said:I have absolutely no intention of knocking my colleagues down, no matter how thick-headed, backward, or just plain malicious they might be! It honestly eats away at me how much we fail to understand one another, because it feels like we’re all speaking completely different languages. Their heads are just stuffed full of nothing but outdated prejudices instead of actual common sense, which is truly the absolute bottom of the barrel. My core values are nothing like theirs, and I mean that sincerely. When I hear people cheering for someone I know is a total criminal and an absolute piece of trash, while they simultaneously look down on brilliant, wonderful people, it honestly makes me want to gag!

Look, can you actually grasp that they would love nothing more than to take your salary? Imagine if you were making $1,000$1000 more for the exact same hours. Maybe it's just normal that they're jealous?

And the fact that you—with your pay—and them—with theirs—can't live the same lives? Or share the same values? No, those people aren't going to accept you. Either you accept reality for what it is, or you'll have to leave.

Can you even imagine how they feel? They're human beings too, right? And they're stuck with such pathetic wages. Of course they're bitter.

They aren't exactly struggling on a tiny paycheck! They’re pulling night shifts while I’m sleeping soundly, so naturally, my take-home pay is higher. I’ve got the advantage of having a degree from a major state university, whereas they just have their high school diplomas, but honestly, their pay isn't half bad either. If they tried to find work elsewhere with just that level of schooling, they'd probably be lucky to make $500!

Honestly, I end up working fewer hours but pulling in a higher paycheck, so what do you guys think—is that why they’re giving me such a hard time?
I don't really look at things through that lens, and I certainly don't expect anyone else to either.
Back at my old job, I was actually making more than my manager, and let me tell you, it felt incredibly awkward. She was absolutely wonderful to me, too.

feralcobra92 said:Honestly, I end up working fewer hours but pulling in a higher paycheck, so what do you guys think—is that why they’re giving me such a hard time?
I don't really look at things through that lens, and I certainly don't expect anyone else to either.
Back at my old job, I was actually making more than my manager, and let me tell you, it felt incredibly awkward. She was absolutely wonderful to me, too.

It doesn't matter how you think; what matters is understanding how *they* think.

Personally, I absolutely loathe it when someone walks into my office—which happens all the time—making twice what I do. I certainly don't go out of my way to make their life easy, even though I know starting a new gig is tough.

So why are they coming after you? Because they hate your haircut?

And how do your bosses view you? You don't have issues with them? Maybe try accepting the fact that you can't please everyone. It’s perfectly normal that those women don't accept you, because quite simply you aren't one of them. You said it yourself: your hours are shorter, yet you earn more than they do. If you walked into my company, I’d hate your guts. I'm working my ass off expecting a raise, I don't get it, and they tell me there's no budget: then they go and hire someone like you!!

If you really want everyone to love you, sign up to be a janitor at your firm. Then see how those women react to you.

I don't have any issues with my bosses, but things are getting really difficult at my desk because I’m stuck working with a bunch of low-level slackers instead of actual professionals.
I honestly can't wrap my head around why you're hating on the new guy. If he treats you with respect, there is absolutely no reason to hold a grudge, and personally, I just don't see the point.
It isn't like I’m walking around expecting everyone to fall in love with me, but I certainly don't expect people to despise me either! It’s pretty simple: I show you respect, so you show it back to me—that’s just how I operate. That's why this whole situation feels so bizarre to me. Maybe I’m just wired differently, but I truly don't go around hating new people, and I’m definitely not bitter about someone else's paycheck. Why on earth would I be?
At the end of the day, I actually love what I do, and that’s what matters most to me. At all my previous jobs, I always maintained a perfectly professional relationship with my coworkers, so this current environment is just plain awful.

feralcobra92 said:I don't have any issues with my bosses, but things are getting really difficult at my desk because I’m stuck working with a bunch of low-level slackers instead of actual professionals.
I honestly can't wrap my head around why you're hating on the new guy. If he treats you with respect, there is absolutely no reason to hold a grudge, and personally, I just don't see the point.
It isn't like I’m walking around expecting everyone to fall in love with me, but I certainly don't expect people to despise me either! It’s pretty simple: I show you respect, so you show it back to me—that’s just how I operate. That's why this whole situation feels so bizarre to me. Maybe I’m just wired differently, but I truly don't go around hating new people, and I’m definitely not bitter about someone else's paycheck. Why on earth would I be?
At the end of the day, I actually love what I do, and that’s what matters most to me. At all my previous jobs, I always maintained a perfectly professional relationship with my coworkers, so this current environment is just plain awful.

I'm trying to help you see things from their perspective. To understand why they've gone totally hostile on you. If you don't want to understand, fine. You'll just keep suffering and wondering, "Why are they treating me like this when I'm such a good person?"

But if you actually want to know why they're acting this way, think about what I'm saying.

Pick one of them who's pissed off at you. Just one. Think about everything she would have to do to earn the salary you're pulling right now.

Other people don't act because of us. They act for themselves. I guess if you actually want to figure out why someone behaves a certain way, you have to consider them—their feelings, their baggage. What’s their life actually like? What's going on at home? Maybe they're dealing with a nightmare of a spouse.

Whether you're a good person or not has absolutely nothing to do with how they choose to act

I totally get where you're coming from! What I'm really trying to wrap my head around here is how I should actually handle myself when things get intense. My supposed "good intentions" don't even matter in this equation. The real issue is that I am just so fundamentally different from them that I can't truly grasp their logic, which makes it incredibly tough to predict how they're going to react.

feralcobra92 said:I totally get where you're coming from! What I'm really trying to wrap my head around here is how I should actually handle myself when things get intense. My supposed "good intentions" don't even matter in this equation. The real issue is that I am just so fundamentally different from them that I can't truly grasp their logic, which makes it incredibly tough to predict how they're going to react.

Take it from me, strictly on a professional level: don't let them walk all over you.

feralcobra92 said:So, I recently made a career move and started working at this massive new corporation, but let me tell you, it’s such a small-town atmosphere where everyone knows everyone else's business, and honestly, the level of pettiness is just unreal! I don't have a single ally in the building, and since I actually came in as a specialist while most of them are basically support staff, there's already this huge tension.
There’s this deep-seated, traditional mindset here where they view specialists as total slackers who just sit around collecting a fat paycheck without doing a lick of work. Even though I make a point to be perfectly polite to everyone, the gossip is starting to swirl, people are making up these ridiculous stories about me, and I’m honestly starting to feel pretty miserable. I really don't know how to navigate this mess, and it's just so disheartening because, objectively speaking, I haven't done a single thing wrong! I truly love my profession and the work I do, but if this toxic environment keeps up, I'm worried I'll end up hating my entire career. I know every big company has its fair share of drama, but I have never found myself stuck in such a nasty situation before. There are a few people here who are actually decent to me, but they won't dare say a word in my defense. On the bright side, I have zero issues with my boss, so it's really just the peer pressure and the rumors. What should I do?

Hi, I was in the exact same position once. Don't let it get to you. If you actually enjoy what you do, you're already ahead of the game. Try not to take those frustrated people to heart. Truthfully, they are just envious. People like that aren't worth your mental energy; they are simply unhappy with their own lives, so they resort to tearing others down. Don't stress over it—just grit your teeth, stay quiet, and focus on your responsibilities. Your role is to lead. If you allow subordinates to dictate terms to you, then your position is genuinely at risk... damn it. Every CEO needs a bit of an edge, and in this scenario, that's you... you know what your function is... you worked hard and studied for this, so don't apologize for what you have achieved... anyway, here is a song for you to listen to during your break...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDiWzjIQsJM

p.s. - whenever someone tries to get under your skin, just stay cool—it shuts down the rumors immediately...

fadedheron892 said:Just bite back at the haters trying to mess with you, but stay loyal to anyone who actually treats you right. You don't owe those losers any respect until they start acting like decent human beings, so until then, treat them like dirt because they haven't earned anything else.

That’s naive. She sticks out in that company like a sore thumb!

I dealt with the exact same thing—just two or three of us with Master's degrees in a workforce of 200.

I don't think she'll stick around long. Once pride takes over,

she'll bail on that job the second a decent opportunity pops up.

Been there, done that!

feralcobra92 said:I totally get where you're coming from! What I'm really trying to wrap my head around here is how I should actually handle myself when things get intense. My supposed "good intentions" don't even matter in this equation. The real issue is that I am just so fundamentally different from them that I can't truly grasp their logic, which makes it incredibly tough to predict how they're going to react.

You could probably understand them if you actually tried. But you don't want to.

For instance, you didn't answer my question. What does your coworker—who doesn't even have a degree—actually need to do to earn a salary like yours?

Are you even sure you're the one losing out at this company right now? Maybe things are actually worse for you than they are for them.
What kind of pay are they pulling? How would you even survive on that amount? Can you actually walk the walk?

bluefalcon122 said:Good things come to those who give. Just keep being a good person to them and trust that it’ll eventually change their tune!🙂

Man, oh man.

Back to the point here—maybe they just don't vibe with you, or maybe your approach is off. Honestly, that specific breed of people sees politeness as a total weakness.

If you aren't looking to jump ship right away, you really need to get to know them and dig into what's actually going on with them. If you're the type of person who lets this stuff get under your skin (and let's be real, you are), then you gotta find out why they act like that. Once you understand the "why," it gets way easier to deal with. A lot of smart people like you live in this bubble thinking, "hey, if I'm respectful, everyone else will be too." But nope! That's not how the world works, especially in tougher industries like construction or heavy manufacturing. In my experience, the harder the job, the more extreme the personalities get.

When you're in NYC, act like a New Yorker
speak their language
realize they’re actually intimidated by you—that's where all that pushback comes from
just tune out the provocations
stay a total pro at what you do
and take down their leader—do it publicly, right in front of everyone, but use logic instead of insults
there's usually one loudmouth in the bunch who's the real headache
once you shut them down, you've basically won the whole thing

When I first started working with people who have college degrees, I honestly thought everyone was on the same page. But man, I was shocked pretty quickly by how most of the staff—you know, the ones without higher ed—view things. Don't get me wrong, they know their specific little tasks, but their grasp on how the whole company actually functions? It's kind of warped. I’ve almost ended up in a huge confrontation a few times just because I owed someone something or was trying to collect something from them. I guess you can really see the massive gap in perspective between an average educated person and a typical blue-collar worker. I totally get where you're coming from, though, because some folks think having twenty years on the job is somehow equal to two university degrees. Honestly, when you listen to them talk about how they'd run things, it makes you want to just give up entirely. Anyway, if you let them get to you, they can be really nasty. You shouldn't even bother arguing or explaining yourself to them. Just do your thing, let them do theirs—everyone is responsible for their own slice of the pie. You might be able to win over some of those less-educated women by being flexible with their days off or letting them head out early, but you've gotta be careful so they don't take advantage of you. Mostly, you just have to learn everyone's place (including your own), and you need to know what info to pass on to the boss, a peer, or a subordinate. Not everything is meant for everyone, and not everyone can understand what you're saying if you aren't tailoring it to their level of education and experience. I try to be really good to my subordinates—there are some degree-holders out there who are incredibly rude to anyone with less schooling than them, which I think is pathetic and shows they don't actually feel worthy of their positions. The one thing that really gets under my skin is that I have to double-check every single rumor about changes brought to me, because they tend to mix things up. Like, back when the tax laws changed through the FBI, there was this part that used to be covered by the company but started getting deducted from net pay instead. I explained what was happening and why at least ten different times, only for them to look at the payroll list and claim we "took" their money. Then suddenly, it was all "oh, it doesn't matter" or "it's always been a tax." 😂 Basically, just stick to your job and report to your manager, not the workers. You can always make it clear where you stand if someone starts acting out.

Been there, done that...

It’s always going to be this way. My advice? Stick close to the people who actually treat you with respect, and just tune out the rest. Keep things strictly professional with the others—nothing more, nothing less. In a way, it’s almost predictable. You have veterans who have been at the company for thirty years, and let's face it, they might be burnt out or just plain miserable. Imagine how much resentment you can pile up over three decades. It’s easy for them to treat you like "the new kid on the block." Now it's your turn to make a move. Stay professional, stay poised, and ignore the nonsense as much as humanly possible.
You mentioned trying to talk things out with the person you dislike the most? Honestly, why on earth would you do that? Don't go thinking a heart-to-heart is going to change their mind. With someone like that, the only thing that works is setting firm boundaries and putting them in their place when they cross the line.
I actually think the suggestion someone else made earlier was spot on... you need to show some teeth to whoever is making the biggest scene.
Just be careful not to overplay your hand. If you go too far, you might end up looking vulnerable, just like briskskipper71 said. 🙂
Good luck!

So, I actually tried to have a sit-down with the main instigator of all this rudeness—with another witness present, of course—just to lay things out clearly and set some firm boundaries about what is absolutely off-limits moving forward. And look, let’s be real, after that little chat, they definitely tucked their tail between their legs a bit, and even one or two others are acting sweet toward me now, but honestly, I have no idea if the drama is truly over. These people can be so incredibly sneaky! It feels like nobody trusts anyone else and everyone just stays at arm's length, yet they all suddenly team up the second they get a chance to talk trash about me. I just don't have the stomach for that kind of nonsense, and frankly, the whole thing is just exhausting.

Honestly, I interpreted that whole conversation a bit differently based on what you wrote before.. Anyway, best of luck to you!

Jerry Martinez5 and Nathan Kelly5 are both spot on here, so just find some middle ground between what they’re telling you because they actually went out of their way to help you out. But hey, if you’re still hell-bent on being everyone's best friend and playing nice with everybody, then just pit them against each other—basically win over whichever one is causing you the most grief so everyone else turns on her, maybe make them all jealous by giving her special treatment, a bigger paycheck, or a lighter workload, and they'll be too busy tearing her apart to bother you, which at least buys you some peace for a little while.

I suppose once about half of you get laid off, things will finally quiet down enough that you won't have any spare time left to sit around debating who said what to whom anyway.