What to do when he's blowing you off...

I’ve been through my fair share of garbage in this life, but nothing hits quite as hard as being in love with someone who treats you like an afterthought. It wasn't just indifference; he was outright disrespectful. He actually used my feelings to kill his own boredom, playing the big shot in front of people or using me to feed his own ego. Is there anything worse than pouring your entire soul into someone—being ready to give up everything for them—only to have them laugh in your face? Isn't that enough to make anyone lose their mind? At first, he was just plain rude, but eventually, he started acting like he felt sorry for me. Like he pitied me. All those talks we had? They weren't about connection; they were because he felt bad seeing how broken I was. Maybe he even felt a flicker of guilt for causing it. Honestly, it feels like a mess of deep-seated complexes and desperate self-validation, and once again, I'm the one left picking up the pieces. I suppose he’s paying for it now too, but when you hit rock bottom like this, there's nowhere left to fall. There simply isn't. And please, don't give me that cliché about how "I deserve someone who appreciates me." Maybe that's true, but it doesn't change the fact that I absolutely loathe this feeling of being discarded. I don't know where it comes from, but there is no other trauma, no other breakdown, no other psychological spiral that compares to being tossed aside. I hate being rejected.!!!!!!! 👎

When a woman just can't grasp that someone isn't interested... what then? When you’ve already given her a polite "no thanks" and she still won't stop hovering, there's really only one move left besides telling her to get lost. But once you've reached that point and she *still* refuses to walk away? That's when you actually start feeling sorry for her. Honestly, you have to feel some level of pity—if not for anything else, then for the sheer lack of self-respect on display.

granitepilot282 said:When a woman just can't grasp that someone isn't interested... what then? When you’ve already given her a polite "no thanks" and she still won't stop hovering, there's really only one move left besides telling her to get lost. But once you've reached that point and she *still* refuses to walk away? That's when you actually start feeling sorry for her. Honestly, you have to feel some level of pity—if not for anything else, then for the sheer lack of self-respect on display.

It’s not even about that. I never acted like I was in love, let alone harassed anyone. That isn't my style. But he must have sensed how I felt, because he started being incredibly harsh toward me—even though he’s clearly into me too.

Morgan Collins20 said:Things will definitely look up once you find a "new target" to focus on...
You aren't a victim—and you're certainly not alone! People deal with all sorts of crazy stuff every day...

I know I'm not a victim, but rejection is hard to stomach. Maybe it's because my parents shut me out when I was a kid, making me sensitive to it. 🤷It feels like rubbing salt into old wounds.

Maybe, for whatever reason, he just isn't feeling the urge to push it into your vagina. 🙂

Anonymous said:Maybe, for whatever reason, he just isn't feeling the urge to push it into your vagina. 🙂

The reasons don't really matter. It’s the feeling of being rejected that sticks. And as for the physical stuff? Honestly, I'm dreading all of it.🙄

crimsonheron80 said:It’s not even about that. I never acted like I was in love, let alone harassed anyone. That isn't my style. But he must have sensed how I felt, because he started being incredibly harsh toward me—even though he’s clearly into me too.

But what makes you so certain he's actually into you?
And how can you be sure you weren't being too pushy or overwhelming?

You mentioned that he was being rude and acting quite unpleasant toward you when you were out with friends. Honestly, if a guy is treating you poorly in front of a crowd, isn't that pretty much the ultimate sign that he isn't interested? 😕

brightridge59 said:But what makes you so certain he's actually into you?
And how can you be sure you weren't being too pushy or overwhelming?

You mentioned that he was being rude and acting quite unpleasant toward you when you were out with friends. Honestly, if a guy is treating you poorly in front of a crowd, isn't that pretty much the ultimate sign that he isn't interested? 😕

Because he told me. I haven't even approached him because I'm shy. Why are people from the General Discussion board suddenly obsessed with this? Girl, just go back to your original subforum------>General Discussion

The guys from the orchard 🤣 master PDF 🤣

Oh boy. 🙂

Look, I was truly just trying to be helpful, but by jumping straight to labels, you’ve basically shut the door on any chance of getting some solid advice. Since you’re the one who started this thread, honestly, you missed out. 🙂

But with that kind of attitude, I really doubt you'd be able to take anything constructive I might have offered anyway, so

👋

brightridge59 said:The guys from the orchard 🤣 master PDF 🤣

Oh boy. 🙂

Look, I was truly just trying to be helpful, but by jumping straight to labels, you’ve basically shut the door on any chance of getting some solid advice. Since you’re the one who started this thread, honestly, you missed out. 🙂

But with that kind of attitude, I really doubt you'd be able to take anything constructive I might have offered anyway, so

👋

It hurts. And please don't come back.

Next time Kate starts acting up, just splash some hot coffee or tea right in her face—seriously.
She won't be making fun of you anymore 🙂

I feel like this whole post is a bit muddled. You’re saying he rejected you, yet you claim you weren't even approaching him. Then you drop this line:

"I wonder if there's anything worse than pouring your entire soul into someone, being ready to give your life for them or whatever, handing over your miserable little existence, only to have them laugh in your face."

Something had to happen for it to get to this point. Clearly, you were doing *something*. Maybe you were being pushy or just plain annoying—because honestly, how can anyone be "not pushy" when they're just
"literally not even talking to him because I'm too shy"?

Or maybe it's just hard for you to admit that you actually *were* throwing yourself at him and he just didn't budge, or I don't know.
Look, sometimes NO doesn't mean NO. Imagine some incredibly dull guy corners you and won't take the hint no matter how much you try to shake him off. Eventually, you're going to end up being downright rude just to get him to leave.

And why were you so persistent? It's probably because his initial rejection piqued your interest. Your ego took the hit, and suddenly you're spiraling: *Why am I not good enough for him?* Then comes that desperate need to prove you can win him over. But unfortunately, you can't force chemistry, and usually, that kind of pressure just drives people even further away.

Look, you’re feeding someone's ego until it hits the stratosphere. Don't let that happen (assuming what you're dealing with is actually based in reality)

What kind of way is that to treat someone from the local community? She was just trying to offer some advice—or maybe just check in to see what happened—and you basically snapped at her because she isn't one of those regulars who hangs out here constantly giving everyone pats on the back. Honestly, her main forum gives her plenty of experience with these kinds of topics anyway.🙂

And I think you might have misread the situation regarding him being in love with you—it just doesn't really square with the part about him feeling sorry for you and making fun of you... if he actually said that, you might want to wonder if it's all just a distraction.

I honestly feel like every girl went through that same phase in her teens, totally crushing on some older guy...☕

crimsonheron80 said:I’ve been through my fair share of garbage in this life, but nothing hits quite as hard as being in love with someone who treats you like an afterthought. It wasn't just indifference; he was outright disrespectful. He actually used my feelings to kill his own boredom, playing the big shot in front of people or using me to feed his own ego. Is there anything worse than pouring your entire soul into someone—being ready to give up everything for them—only to have them laugh in your face? Isn't that enough to make anyone lose their mind? At first, he was just plain rude, but eventually, he started acting like he felt sorry for me. Like he pitied me. All those talks we had? They weren't about connection; they were because he felt bad seeing how broken I was. Maybe he even felt a flicker of guilt for causing it. Honestly, it feels like a mess of deep-seated complexes and desperate self-validation, and once again, I'm the one left picking up the pieces. I suppose he’s paying for it now too, but when you hit rock bottom like this, there's nowhere left to fall. There simply isn't. And please, don't give me that cliché about how "I deserve someone who appreciates me." Maybe that's true, but it doesn't change the fact that I absolutely loathe this feeling of being discarded. I don't know where it comes from, but there is no other trauma, no other breakdown, no other psychological spiral that compares to being tossed aside. I hate being rejected.!!!!!!! 👎

If that really happened to you, honestly, you should just go wreck him. He sounds like absolute trash...
I'm ready to break his arm right now; just tell me where he is.
And you aren't pathetic. Very few people have the guts to get up every single morning and say, "Alright, here we go again. Life sucks today, but whatever. I have a right to be happy, and by God, I'm going to grab that happiness and make it mine."

Is every new day really just that—a chance...
You could spend it staring at a computer screen, or you could be out at a bar with some guy who insults you and dumps you...
You won't get anything out of the computer, but at a bar (or wherever he dumped you), at least you experienced some kind of emotion. Some emotion is better than none at all, or worse, a fake emotion.

You have no one to blame but yourself. If things were already that bad, why didn't you just end the relationship?

jadepilot3 said:I feel like this whole post is a bit muddled. You’re saying he rejected you, yet you claim you weren't even approaching him. Then you drop this line:

"I wonder if there's anything worse than pouring your entire soul into someone, being ready to give your life for them or whatever, handing over your miserable little existence, only to have them laugh in your face."

Something had to happen for it to get to this point. Clearly, you were doing *something*. Maybe you were being pushy or just plain annoying—because honestly, how can anyone be "not pushy" when they're just
"literally not even talking to him because I'm too shy"?

Or maybe it's just hard for you to admit that you actually *were* throwing yourself at him and he just didn't budge, or I don't know.
Look, sometimes NO doesn't mean NO. Imagine some incredibly dull guy corners you and won't take the hint no matter how much you try to shake him off. Eventually, you're going to end up being downright rude just to get him to leave.

And why were you so persistent? It's probably because his initial rejection piqued your interest. Your ego took the hit, and suddenly you're spiraling: *Why am I not good enough for him?* Then comes that desperate need to prove you can win him over. But unfortunately, you can't force chemistry, and usually, that kind of pressure just drives people even further away.

Look, I wasn't hounding him. Like I said, I'm shy. I actually tried to avoid situations involving him, though circumstances forced my hand occasionally. It was far from me being a nuisance. I wasn't "persistent" by chasing him constantly; I was persistent because I couldn't stop being in love with him. Believe me, there was nothing I could do about it. I couldn't just tell myself, "Okay, as of today, I don't like him anymore," or "I'm not in love anymore." It's stronger than that. I even tried convincing myself I shouldn't feel this way, but it isn't as easy as you think. The strangest part is he never once told me NO, nor did he have any reason to, because I never made my intentions known, let alone asked if he wanted to be with me.

Matthew Williams42 said:What kind of way is that to treat someone from the local community? She was just trying to offer some advice—or maybe just check in to see what happened—and you basically snapped at her because she isn't one of those regulars who hangs out here constantly giving everyone pats on the back. Honestly, her main forum gives her plenty of experience with these kinds of topics anyway.🙂

And I think you might have misread the situation regarding him being in love with you—it just doesn't really square with the part about him feeling sorry for you and making fun of you... if he actually said that, you might want to wonder if it's all just a distraction.

Look, when someone clearly isn't grasping the situation, I have no interest in wasting my breath dealing with their local idioms and nonsense. And how am I supposed to know if it was a distraction? He told me. Whether he was lying or telling the truth is something we could debate endlessly, but how would I ever truly know? 🤷 Speaking plainly, it doesn't seem to add up. But if you look at what might be driving all this—complexes, ego, the need to prove something—then why couldn't it be true? There are plenty of reasons to believe him, but I won't dwell on that; it isn't the point. Besides, why would he lie about something like that? No... what's actually bothering me is this sense of rejection.