Is love really blind?

Vess said:That person needs to be YOU. So go out there and make it happen.

Vess,

I'm right there with you on this. I get what you're saying, I really do, but I'm just stuck on the "how." How do you actually build that? That rock-solid sense of inner security? Honestly, I feel like even talking to a therapist in Manhattan wouldn't touch that kind of deep-seated stuff. It feels like the only way left is to find that one person who’s actually going to stick by my side through everything...

It isn’t some impossible feat. In fact, it’s much easier than trying to find some other person to fill your psychological void.

It’s tough work. It takes time and serious self-discipline, but you start seeing progress.

Drew Morgan said:Horrible, what even is this?!? I saw that movie ages ago, but I don't remember any rabbit. She killed their rabbit?!? Disgusting... It’s a tired trope—when you want to inflict the ultimate cruelty, you kill someone's pet 😢

something similar
I don't recall the movie clearly enough, but using the rabbit as a metaphor works perfectly... when you want to pull a dirty stunt on someone or get revenge, you don't attack them head-on; instead, you target someone close to them because that hits way harder, triggering pure horror and showing just how far you're willing to go

By "someone close," I don't mean a pet, I mean kids, family... infiltration
At least, that's how I took it....

It's that whole twisted revenge motive that keeps popping up; in this instance, it's the family... in another case, it would be someone else

All that matters is that they are close to the person seeking vengeance and... then the nightmare begins

How do you defend yourself? There's always a way.

Sean Cruz said:I suspect Colour wasn't actually talking about the rabbit; I think they were using it as a metaphor for targeting children. 😉

...exactly, and please, feel free to disagree with me if you want...

cosmictinker21 said:Well, obviously there’s a difference between a rabbit and children... you don't really need to hint at that. But the point is that malice and selfishness don't care about methods, means, or targets when it comes to revenge. That’s exactly what we're looking at here—it isn't about love, it's just blind infatuation. Infatuation is just a distorted way of seeing reality. It's choosing whatever fits your own little narrative of how love is supposed to work.

The woman simply couldn't bridge the gap between her emotions and the actual situation. A grounded, realistic person would have objectively accepted the fact that he didn't need her as a lover anymore and just exited his life. But no, she wasn't interested in doing what was best for him (which is the essence of love)... she just wanted to vent her internal frustrations as a rejected woman by dreaming up, planning, and executing something malicious. She wanted to hurt him through others...

Personally, I don't think it has anything to do with (blind) love either
because even that feeling doesn't lead to pathological revenge under normal circumstances
this is primarily a sick mental state; Glenn is just a "crazy bitch" (look at her, a blonde 😲 )

being in love is just a distorted perception of reality. It's accepting whatever fits your own preconceived notions of what love should look like.

falling in love is more than just self-delusion, at least that's how I'm reading this if I haven't totally missed the point...
it's basically the waiting room for actual love
or maybe not.
...as simple as that

she just couldn't bridge the gap between her feelings and reality. A sane person would have looked at the situation objectively, accepted that he doesn't need her as a mistress anymore, and walked away from his life. But instead, she wasn't actually looking out for his best interests (which is what love is all about), she was just trying to soothe her own ego after being rejected.

I think the essence of love is "what's good for both," not just one person in a relationship, regardless of who they are

by imagining, planning, and executing harm. Trying to hurt him through other people.

Exactly, that's the whole point 👍
I love it when people realize that hurting others isn't okay, even if you're doing it under the guise of retaliation
you should deal with your own frustrations internally, but honestly, that’s only possible for people who truly loved someone (or were actually in love) and still have their wits about them

if you can't handle it privately, then maybe be upfront about it—assuming you have the guts to face things rather than playing games. I've always had zero patience for cheap provocateurs and those who just lash out at people to sting them; I guess I became immune to that nonsense after my first heartbreak, and now I just see it coming from a mile away😁

Sean Cruz said:I see that, but I also notice that people who can't have children tend to bond more deeply with pets. Then there are those who love animals but find it unthinkable to keep a pet confined indoors. I even see people abandoning children, abandoning pets... I observe all sorts of things, but in my value system, a love for a child simply cannot be compared to a love for animals.

Well, he isn't stuck in a cage; he runs wild around the house, and we actually take him out to the meadow for walks. Honestly, I think his life is pretty much what he imagined when he was desperately trying to escape his box at Petco. That's when I noticed him and bought him without any prior planning. He was special and different, clearly driven by a desire for freedom. Though, how much can we really talk about freedom within the constraints of material existence? In a way, he’s freer than I am because he doesn't have to worry about his own survival. Of course, he pays for that sometimes by being stubborn when we pick him up, which he hates. Dammit, we need some level of satisfaction too; we don't want to be mere victims.😍

When I compare that to my friend who keeps her cats locked inside just so nothing happens to them (and she's not the only one)... damn, her love is selfish. It's not about their needs.

This is moving into philosophy territory, and we've drifted quite far off-topic.

That would apply more to setting boundaries to protect your own freedom, but breathing down someone's neck is a total nightmare. Basically, certain types of people teach us that sacrificing our own liberty just to soothe a sick person's excessive psychological needs leads to absolute chaos.

That wasn't my point. I'm not looking to protect my own freedom; rather, I intend to set limits within my own freedom so that I don't hurt my partner. Surveillance, imposition, stalking, and things like that are completely absurd to me. Someone who wants to be with you will be, if they want to. If they don't, there is no way to force them. This is where I emphasize the importance of pride—you shouldn't trample over yourself for someone who treats you like a doormat. For someone who is worth it and respects you, primarily as a person, you'd walk through glass for them.
And everyone sets boundaries on their freedom for the sake of the other party, provided they respect and love the person they are with. You don't even necessarily have to love the person you're with, but mutual respect is essential for a "normal" relationship. Where those boundaries lie is something people can figure out for themselves from one relationship to the next, as there are no universal rules. It doesn't mean you and I have the same criteria regarding this matter—it's highly likely we don't.😁

It’s a fantastic read—witty, brutal, and only about 60 pages long. You can easily find a digital copy online. A dear friend from the Philosophy board actually recommended it to me.

I just downloaded it, but at first glance, it looks like one of those self-help books. Is that the vibe? I have a massive allergy to that kind of literature.

You hit the nail on the head, girl. You know I hate singing the praises of my inner circle, but this is spot on 🙏
setting boundaries on your own freedom, consciously and rationally, without regret... but only for the person who actually deserves that level of devotion

Drew Morgan said:Here is what Pelican wrote:

"Why even bother putting all this forward? Why not just walk away after a few humiliations?
I figured if things worked out and she actually loved me, I’d get my life and my self-respect back—my sense of self. Or at least, I wouldn't feel like everything I sacrificed was for nothing. That's why I stayed.
You invest so much of yourself that you can't bear to admit it's time to cut your losses and run like hell.
It's like waiting thirty minutes for a bus in Chicago and thinking it's too stupid to start walking because surely it'll show up any second... except in this case, the bus might eventually arrive, but the lowlifes running the show aren't ever going to change."

At the end of the day, you're always investing in yourself, regardless of how things turn out.

Nothing is ever truly wasted or a lost cause; we're just bad at calculating the cost... though why do we even try to do the math in the first place?

Drew Morgan said:It isn’t some impossible feat. In fact, it’s much easier than trying to find some other person to fill your psychological void.

It’s tough work. It takes time and serious self-discipline, but you start seeing progress.

Every day, in every possible way... we’re all just one step closer to the grave. LOL.

That’s beside the point—we’re discussing spiritual growth here. The body inevitably decays, but the spirit doesn't have to if you actually put in the work!

Sandra Parker3 said:At the end of the day, you're always investing in yourself, regardless of how things turn out.

Nothing is ever truly wasted or a lost cause; we're just bad at calculating the cost... though why do we even try to do the math in the first place?

I don't know. But I constantly wonder just how much certain experiences permanently damage a person.

Actually, to counter your point, even Pelín mentioned he likely had to endure that entire nightmare just to finally meet an amazing woman.

Drew Morgan said:I don't know. But I constantly wonder just how much certain experiences permanently damage a person.

Actually, to counter your point, even Pelín mentioned he likely had to endure that entire nightmare just to finally meet an amazing woman.

Okay, look, the emphasis was on wasted effort and writing off what you put in.

If you give... you give. Whether it's wasted or worth it is one thing, 🤷but
writing off an investment is just basic math or something... it's not about human relationships.

And as for things breaking you—yeah, they can, and sometimes it's permanent.
But you can also minimize the damage, and you definitely can.
I personally think you shouldn't be nitpicking in a relationship, constantly tallying up what you owe or what's owed to you, trying to balance the books so every single moment you "invested" lands perfectly and gets "returned."

You just feel so much more than what any calculation could ever account for.🙂

Actually, to counter your point, even Pelín said he probably had to go through that whole miserable ordeal just to finally meet a girl who is actually awesome.

True, I guess we all have to deal with stuff like that eventually.
The difference is who we become after it—whether we come out bitter and looking to settle scores, or if we can actually learn from the experience and move forward with it.😁

Sure, it can suck, but it's just life on this planet.🙏

My heart isn't some musical instrument playing itself.

😛

Exactly. Well said.

Drew Morgan said:pelin gave a solid explanation. I'll go find it and paste it here.

To be honest, I'm not particularly interested in Pelican's sci-fi, but fine... go ahead and paste it.

Drew Morgan said:Theoretically, yes. Except for you—I've already accounted for you; you don't have any weak spots.

Anyone can be rendered vulnerable, harassed, or humiliated, and they won't recover instantly. But to truly become a shell of a person, you have to actively participate in your own destruction. You need that "X factor"—let's call it a temporary lapse in sanity.

There you go again... please realize that victims aren't the majority 😬... most people have never been victims and never will be... your influence theory just doesn't hold up.
You seem to have this sick 😬 urge to pick on me 🤣 and sarcastically imply that I wouldn't know how to handle things... of course I have weaknesses, everyone does... but I know how to use my head—at least sometimes, haha—and refuse to turn a blind eye to reality.

Gerald Ward61 said:Alright, now look at you...

Nobody wants to be stepped on by someone worth five bucks. You can mess with your own ego a little bit if you're that sensitive (like that Musk guy, right?), but you actually come out better for it. Your ego ends up being better. 😉

Why do you assume someone won't crush you over five dollars? That person might be a five in every other way, but they could still be a total master of disrespect. 😬

Drew Morgan said:Here is what Pelican wrote:

"Why even bother putting all this forward? Why not just walk away after a few humiliations?
I figured if things worked out and she actually loved me, I’d get my life and my self-respect back—my sense of self. Or at least, I wouldn't feel like everything I sacrificed was for nothing. That's why I stayed.
You invest so much of yourself that you can't bear to admit it's time to cut your losses and run like hell.
It's like waiting thirty minutes for a bus in Chicago and thinking it's too stupid to start walking because surely it'll show up any second... except in this case, the bus might eventually arrive, but the lowlifes running the show aren't ever going to change."

You see, that isn't the core issue... that's just an afterthought for someone who has already lost their dignity... someone who's already become a complete loser. 😬 What I'm interested in is the fundamental reason why someone allows themselves to be stepped on in the first place, rather than why they stay once they've already been crushed.

Jonathan Mendoza31 said:Vess,

I'm right there with you on this. I get what you're saying, I really do, but I'm just stuck on the "how." How do you actually build that? That rock-solid sense of inner security? Honestly, I feel like even talking to a therapist in Manhattan wouldn't touch that kind of deep-seated stuff. It feels like the only way left is to find that one person who’s actually going to stick by my side through everything...

Honestly, most people never even find that... maybe you'd be better off dropping the word "always" from that sentence. It might actually make life a little easier for you.😉

Gerald Ward61 said:Man, Soul... do we really have to go there? It’s such a gorgeous day out and we’re all actually feeling pretty good... don't ruin the vibe. Honestly, let Legion and Vess find some way to make that fit into a life story or whatever, because all I can picture is just sitting in a dark basement... what a total waste of a good time. 😉

🤣 I value your take on this. Honestly, most of the time I just get super defensive... but yeah, sometimes I can be a total brat, too... 😁 What even is "is"...? Just a thought...

Look, I'm not exactly some untouchable saint, but I definitely know when being too blunt or honest is just... bad timing. Or at least, that's my take on it. Honestly, it's probably a good thing people have a hard time keeping up with me anyway. I tend to lean pretty heavily on sarcasm and weird metaphors to get my point across... or so I like to think... 🤣 😉 And if I screw up? Yeah, I'll own it. No excuses... just straight up admitting it. 🤣 😉
I don't know, man... talking about myself always feels a little ungrateful. I always end up tripping over my own feet when I try...

I only say sorry when there’s a chance people actually took me the wrong way... otherwise, what's the point? If I actually messed up, I don't see any reason to apologize. Honestly, saying sorry when you're clearly in the wrong feels totally pointless. I admit I'm wrong, and that's just that...

Look, saying Sorry actually means something... it’s not just some empty word people throw around for no reason. Seriously, just trust in ethics and morality if you have to... or go to God, I guess... 😉 Just feeling a little bit out of it today... maybe it's the coffee... or just life... who knows...

That’s not even what I meant... Look, I’m not trying to protect my "freedom" or whatever. It’s more like I’m setting boundaries within my own freedom just so I don't end up hurting my partner. All that stalking, hovering, and harassment stuff? Total nonsense. Purely absurd. If someone actually wants to be with you, they’ll be there. Period. If they don't, there isn't a magic trick in the world to force them to stay... And honestly, this is where pride comes in—you can't just let yourself get stepped on by someone who treats you like a literal doormat. Life is too short for that. When you find someone who actually matters, someone who respects you as a human being... man, you'd walk through glass for them. It's that simple. We all set limits on our own independence when we actually care about the person we're with. Heck, you don't even have to be head-over-heels in love, but if you want a "normal" relationship, mutual respect is non-negotiable. As for where those lines are drawn? That’s between you and your partner. There aren't some universal rulebook for this stuff. You and I probably don't even see eye-to-eye on where the limit is... and that's totally fine...

Man, this is spot on! 🙂 Honestly, I’m right there with you on this one. 🙂

I spent a lovely afternoon soaking up the sun regardless. 🙂

I'm not without my flaws, but I know when being open or honest is misplaced. (At least, that's my take.) Luckily, I'm not easy to read, since I tend to lean on irony and various metaphors—again, in my opinion. But if I miss the mark, I own it, no questions asked.

🤣 I am brutally honest, just like everything else you've written. That is simply a core part of my character. 😁 However, some people just can't handle my level of sincerity, so occasionally, I hold back. 😉

Ehh, but saying "sorry" actually carries weight; it isn't just empty words. Trust ethics and morality, if you aren't going to trust God. (Just teasing a little).

I don't see much point in apologies, nor do I particularly enjoy being coddled. Just admit you messed up and move on. 🙂

Sandra Parker3 said:Okay, look, the emphasis was on wasted effort and writing off what you put in.

If you give... you give. Whether it's wasted or worth it is one thing, 🤷but
writing off an investment is just basic math or something... it's not about human relationships.

And as for things breaking you—yeah, they can, and sometimes it's permanent.
But you can also minimize the damage, and you definitely can.
I personally think you shouldn't be nitpicking in a relationship, constantly tallying up what you owe or what's owed to you, trying to balance the books so every single moment you "invested" lands perfectly and gets "returned."

You just feel so much more than what any calculation could ever account for.🙂

Actually, to counter your point, even Pelín said he probably had to go through that whole miserable ordeal just to finally meet a girl who is actually awesome.

True, I guess we all have to deal with stuff like that eventually.
The difference is who we become after it—whether we come out bitter and looking to settle scores, or if we can actually learn from the experience and move forward with it.😁

Sure, it can suck, but it's just life on this planet.🙏

My heart isn't some musical instrument playing itself.

😛

I'm not one to praise those close to me, but what can I say when we're on the same wavelength? 😍 What you wrote is the whole point. 😉 (There, I'm giving you a wink—you know I love a good wink. 🤣)

lonegardener said:Every day, in every possible way... we’re all just one step closer to the grave. LOL.

😂 There’s nothing quite like a dose of pure pessimism to kick off the morning before my first cup of coffee. 🤣

silentpilot6 said:You see, that isn't the core issue... that's just an afterthought for someone who has already lost their dignity... someone who's already become a complete loser. 😬 What I'm interested in is the fundamental reason why someone allows themselves to be stepped on in the first place, rather than why they stay once they've already been crushed.

It's because they feel inferior to that person (if not to everyone else, for that matter); they essentially take the blame for everything. They cling to this delusion that through some sort of thermonuclear love—through unconditional self-sacrifice—they can fix things, if not the entire universe, then at least their own little corner of it. Guilt and self-pity are a double-edged sword; you could say these people are constantly walking the blade. They often suffer from a twisted perception: "If I just prove myself to them, if I just do more," which only leads to further subjugation.
Once a person adopts that pattern, it becomes exactly what you said—just an incremental upgrade of their misery.
If they ever actually wake up, it's usually a brutal process, because it requires having the courage to look yourself in the mirror. But it's even worse if they never wake up at all, or if they spend their lives avoiding that realization. In extreme cases, I assume it leads to various addictions, or people simply become incapable of functioning in society; in short, they become mere drifters.

That sense of inferiority is always the starting point for becoming a doormat, though I also suspect it can be one of the reasons why someone chooses to play the victim and actually enjoys the power dynamic that comes with it.

Eh, you see these people who stay trapped in miserable marriages for years, clinging to all these convenient little excuses they feed themselves and everyone else. It’s always the same script: the kids are too young, we’ve put in too much time together, what will the neighbors think, or the nightmare of splitting up assets in court... then there's the classic line: "we've been together forever, how could I just leave now?" Or maybe they're waiting until the kids finish school, or until the daughter is married off or the son is settled, and *then* they'll finally be free to live their lives—to find a lover or whatever. They act like they can't make a single decision because of work, aging parents, the house, or money...

And don't even get me started on the ones who aren't just dealing with emotional cruelty, but actual physical abuse, yet they still manage to stay in the relationship...🤷

I really wonder what the actual drivers are behind this self-deception—this turning a blind eye to reality and dragging out decisions indefinitely... Is it pure fear? Just spiritual inertia? Or are they just holding out for someone better, only to end up just moving from one seat to another?🙄

silentpilot6 said:You see, that isn't the core issue... that's just an afterthought for someone who has already lost their dignity... someone who's already become a complete loser. 😬 What I'm interested in is the fundamental reason why someone allows themselves to be stepped on in the first place, rather than why they stay once they've already been crushed.

Some psychopath maneuvers their way into their life, and then the victim fails to take immediate, decisive action to escape. Pretty soon, it becomes a habit—and we all know how hard it is to break a bad habit, yet how easy it is to become addicted to one.

A man ends up like a fly caught in a spider's web.

silentpilot6 said:To be honest, I'm not particularly interested in Pelican's sci-fi, but fine... go ahead and paste it.

Why on earth did you believe that verdict without a single shred of proof that Pelin is a liar? Can't you see they were just jealous of his writing talent (or maybe just his unmatched level of hypocrisy?), and swarmed him like a pack of wolves? They were acting out of pure spite, not logic.

They couldn't convince me that group was anything other than a nasty clique. And increasingly, they're just a bunch of spineless losers—people who let themselves be stepped on, only to wait for the chance to trample someone else (who happens to be in the minority).

Alright, we’re drifting off-topic again, but I have one final thought regarding Pelín... the man simply lacks any real literary talent. Honestly, plenty of bottom-feeders write more engagingly than he does. On top of that, he actually admitted to making about half of it up, and even if his posts weren't so unbelievable that nobody would take them seriously in the first place—well, if what he writes actually *is* true, then compared to him, a major fraud is just a complete amateur.
The conclusion is simple: either Pelín is lying, or he’s "embellishing" the story just to play the role of the main villain... and even if he is telling the truth (which I doubt, but let's assume), he is incredibly delusional. Plus, he's got such a thin skin that the moment he reads anything critical, he feels the need to write an 874-sentence manifesto trying to explain, clarify, and argue with everyone.

Whether she replied to you or not, I have nothing more to say on the matter.