Would you date someone with mental health issues?

silentpilot6 said:I know this sounds pretty heavy, but I think it’s a really valid question to ask... Look, I don't mean to be blunt, but I wouldn't want to enter a relationship—unless, of course, I was already in one, which changes everything—with someone who either has, or has a high probability of developing, something like schizophrenia.
As far as my own family goes, there hasn't been a single instance of mental illness to my knowledge...

Look, man... it’s the same logic. Just like someone might struggle with depression, a beautiful woman could gain weight... and that's something that can happen to anyone. So what? Are you going to stay single just because you're afraid she might gain weight one day?

Instead of overthinking everything, just follow your gut. Once you start running the numbers, the whole thing goes south. Besides, I highly doubt you'll ever be happy with someone you chose based on a checklist of pros and cons.

When it comes down to your own happiness, shouldn't everyone be a little selfish? Or are there those—and I know they exist—who prefer playing the victim until they eventually just sabotage themselves?
There aren't any severe mental illnesses in my immediate family—I mean, who isn't a little bit crazy these days, but nothing has ever been officially diagnosed 😁. On the other hand, I actually have three 😬 very close relatives who are psychiatrists 😉... essentially, I've been surrounded by these issues my entire life. It used to be a subject of genuine interest to me, plus several close family friends were either personally diagnosed or had immediate family members dealing with it. I also had a neighbor and a good friend struggle with schizophrenia, so I’ve seen firsthand how much that changes a person.

In any case, I have a very clear perspective on these matters... I'd go so far as to say I understand it better than 90% of people who haven't personally experienced a major mental health crisis. And yes, I still maintain that it's better not to enter a relationship with someone facing those struggles...
Again, I want to apologize to anyone living with these disorders, but this is simply my personal stance. From various sources, I've heard countless stories involving immense self-sacrifice, complicated problems, and some truly unpleasant situations that I wouldn't want to get caught up in—at least not by consciously choosing to date someone with those specific challenges.
Can I be blamed for that? Am I lacking enough humanity? Perhaps... but on one hand, you have people living with these conditions who can't be objective about the topic (which is understandable), on the other, you have people who might not be informed enough (so they can't be objective either), and then there are people who perhaps understand the issue "a bit better"... I consider myself a member of 🙂 that third group
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Repeat-nikati, I am not belittling anyone, nor do I hold any prejudices—regardless of what you might think (look, I've been in contact since childhood with at least ten different people carrying various diagnoses). But maybe I am being too selfish... maybe I just don't have the will or the desire, but honestly, that's just my opinion. Love often isn't enough even when both people are completely "healthy and sound," let alone in more complicated circumstances...
If I already knew a girl struggled with this, I would never start anything with her—not even a 😉 one-night stand. On the other hand, if I didn't know, or if symptoms only appeared after I had already fallen for her... well, obviously I wouldn't just walk away from her solely because of that, especially since I have three psychiatrists on speed dial who could likely help her. 🙂

Amanda Myers3 said:I always seem to run into these oddballs 😁
One’s suicidal, another is emotionally stunted, a third thinks they’re seeing aliens, and a fourth is back to wanting to end it all... yet somehow, I still find them endearing 🤣

I can't tell if I'm a magnet for people like this or if they're just drawn to me... 🤷 Doesn't really matter 😳 😍

There is a certain "venting" thread on Reddit 😁 (not sure if anyone has come across it) where people share their painful romantic histories... in several of those stories, people mention having specific mental health diagnoses... well, I won't say more—just read for yourselves what was happening in those relationships.

Linda Taylor11 said:That's exactly the point. Not everyone is ready to dump that much love and energy into someone, and honestly, it just doesn't fit the lifestyle some people want to live.

That's true, I admit it. But hey... at least on this forum, I'm not pretending to be some perfect Good Samaritan, which seems to be what so many others are doing.

Fair enough. It’s your call; everyone has their own set of criteria...

silentpilot6 said:There is a certain "venting" thread on Reddit 😁 (not sure if anyone has come across it) where people share their painful romantic histories... in several of those stories, people mention having specific mental health diagnoses... well, I won't say more—just read for yourselves what was happening in those relationships.

I haven't been in a relationship for quite some time, so none of this really affects me. Personally, I would never allow myself to be someone's doormat. I'm always open to trying something out and seeing where it leads, provided there's mutual respect.

Alright, let's dive into what's going on with other mental health issues, like personality disorders and things of that nature. 🤷

Look, silentpilot6 is just a guy who treats every minor setback like it's the end of the world. If his own mother were struggling with mental health issues, he’d probably react the exact same way. Besides, when schizophrenia is managed properly with medication, it isn't the monster people think it is. Most of the fear comes from Hollywood movies blowing paranoia and schizophrenia out of proportion.

Well, look, at least the guy is being honest. He isn't playing games or trying to cheat us, and that’s really all there is to it. 🤷

silentpilot6 said:That's true, I admit it. But hey... at least on this forum, I'm not pretending to be some perfect Good Samaritan, which seems to be what so many others are doing.

I wasn't trying to be offensive. It’s just how it is. Not everyone wants kids, you know? They shouldn't have to deal with all that pressure.

Some people don't play games. 🙂

So, let’s start a thread about what kind of person someone with a mental illness would want to date. 😍 I’m going with satire 😂

Seriously though, what’s even the point in attacking people? A person has their own views, they're being honest, and that’s that. There’s zero room for judging here..

It’s honestly just sad how much more prone people with mental health struggles are to prejudice compared to everyone else...

goldenpilot20 said:Look, silentpilot6 is just a guy who treats every minor setback like it's the end of the world. If his own mother were struggling with mental health issues, he’d probably react the exact same way. Besides, when schizophrenia is managed properly with medication, it isn't the monster people think it is. Most of the fear comes from Hollywood movies blowing paranoia and schizophrenia out of proportion.

I wouldn't call myself some "tough guy" 😁, but I look at it this way: there are so many women in the world that I should be able to find someone who fits what I'm looking for, based on the traits that matter to me...

As for other conditions—one of my ex's former friends had borderline personality disorder, and honestly, she could be incredibly difficult to deal with sometimes. 😁

Also, my mom isn't mentally ill; she's a psychiatrist. Though, to be fair, I don't think any psychiatrist is completely sane 😬—I know that better than anyone 😁—but she's my mother and I love her regardless of anything 👍... Even if she were mentally ill, it wouldn't change how I feel, but then it wouldn't be a choice on my part. Choosing to enter a relationship is my decision.

James Ramirez10 said:Well, look, at least the guy is being honest. He isn't playing games or trying to cheat us, and that’s really all there is to it. 🤷

Totally agree. Honestly, I’ve said it more than once—I think I’d actually lose my mind if I had to live with someone else exactly like me. 😍

The fact itself wouldn't even be my issue. It would only be a problem if the illness actually messed with who she is—like if she couldn't function or was having psychotic breaks or whatever. Honestly, if I had already fallen for her, none of that would even matter. At least, that's how I see it.

There are plenty of much worse human traits that would make me cut someone out of the running entirely!

...certain musical tastes, for instance. 😈

Alex Patel96 said:The fact itself wouldn't even be my issue. It would only be a problem if the illness actually messed with who she is—like if she couldn't function or was having psychotic breaks or whatever. Honestly, if I had already fallen for her, none of that would even matter. At least, that's how I see it.

There are plenty of much worse human traits that would make me cut someone out of the running entirely!

I completely agree...👍

silentpilot6 said:I’ll admit this topic feels a bit discriminatory, but I also find it incredibly real and, frankly, quite an interesting question to pose.

To give you a specific example... I have a neighbor who is a lovely, attractive woman 🙂, but she has two cases of schizophrenia in her immediate family—her mother and her uncle. Since we know this condition can be hereditary in many instances, would I enter a relationship with someone like her? To be honest, I wouldn't... both because of her own potential struggles and the risk that our children (if we ever reached that stage 😁) might inherit it too.
With all due respect to those living with the illness, I wouldn't knowingly start a relationship with someone who is either currently struggling or faces a very high probability of developing it.
Of course, I realize it's a completely different story if I were already in a committed relationship where we were deeply in love 😍 and then discovered these facts later on...

You say "with all due respect to people who are ill," which sounds so hypocritical to me. Your message clearly shows you're discriminating against people with schizophrenia, yet you mention having "due respect." Sadly, that's just how society works—we claim to have "due respect" formally, but in practice, we'd rather just lock those people away behind four walls so nobody even has to think about them.
Nobody actually feels empathy for the ill,
for instance, being gay is a personal identity, whereas people don't choose to be sick—but somehow, the gay population (who openly advocate for their sexual orientation) faces less discrimination than people with schizophrenia, who are basically at the bottom of the barrel in groups that society marginalizes, like gay people, HIV+ individuals, and so on. Plus, they have to hide and feel ashamed of being ill,

Angela Morgan3 said:You say "with all due respect to people who are ill," which sounds so hypocritical to me. Your message clearly shows you're discriminating against people with schizophrenia, yet you mention having "due respect." Sadly, that's just how society works—we claim to have "due respect" formally, but in practice, we'd rather just lock those people away behind four walls so nobody even has to think about them.
Nobody actually feels empathy for the ill,
for instance, being gay is a personal identity, whereas people don't choose to be sick—but somehow, the gay population (who openly advocate for their sexual orientation) faces less discrimination than people with schizophrenia, who are basically at the bottom of the barrel in groups that society marginalizes, like gay people, HIV+ individuals, and so on. Plus, they have to hide and feel ashamed of being ill,

Being gay isn't some choice you just make.

As someone living with BPD, I honestly couldn't deal with a partner who’s just as scattered and emotionally volatile as I am.
Maybe they’d be an interesting distraction if I didn't already have enough experience in that particular circle of hell, 🙄

redharbor9 said:Being gay isn't some choice you just make.

👍 It’s hilarious. One bigot turns around and accuses someone else of being the discriminator!🤣🤣