Would you date someone with mental health issues?

gentletiger20 said:I could probably handle someone dealing with an illness, but selfishness? No way. Like, I might give a chance to someone struggling with schizophrenia, but if they hold views like Legionov's... man, I wouldn't care if he was Brad Pitt himself, or if he had muscles like a bodybuilder, or even if he was loaded with cash. Because let's be real—if you listen to someone like Legion say, "but if shit hits the fan while I love you, I won't leave," I just wouldn't buy it. If you're a selfish person, you're a selfish person. Eventually, when things actually go south, I’m expecting that kind of person to crack under the pressure... For example, if I get sick, sure, he’s there at first because he loves me, right? But then I’m not that same old fun, beautiful version of myself anymore, and eventually, he gets bored, the spark dies, and he leaves me hanging—sick, miserable, just a shadow of the person he originally fell for... Maybe I'm looking too far ahead, but that’s just how my brain works.

To me, the whole point of love is sharing life, not just being someone's cheerleader. (I can entertain myself or hang out with my girlfriends or my besties, but I can't *share* my life with them in that way). Someone who's actually ready to give their all to me and take what I have to offer is someone capable of loving me—even if that exchange comes with some messy baggage, that's secondary. But on the flip side, someone pushing views like Legion's clearly isn't ready to truly share everything with a partner, so in my book, their ability to love is pretty questionable... I'd probably run the other way from someone like that. I wouldn't think they're a bad person, per se, I just wouldn't ever trust them to have my back.

I mean, maybe in a specific, real-life scenario, someone like Legion would actually step up and act like a better person than I would, but hey, we're just talking hypothetically here...

In reality, most relationships eventually fail. As you mentioned, people grow tired, feelings fade, and individuals simply change over time. That isn't necessarily tied to mental illness; it’s just a natural part of life. It happens. I remember getting my heart broken when I was deeply in love, yet I also ended things with women who were clearly devoted to me. Am I wrong? When it does happen, the partner facing the situation handles it much more easily if they are mentally healthy rather than struggling. Isn't that true?

The capacity to love isn't the issue, but doesn't love itself have an "expiration date"? Perhaps not every single instance, but I'd say 95% of them 😁 certainly do. Then, hypothetically, you find yourself in a position where you no longer want to be with someone who still loves you... and if that person is also dealing with mental health issues, it becomes a hundred times harder. You end up feeling like absolute garbage. Every time I walked away from a girl who wasn't being cold toward me, I felt like total trash 😢...

I wouldn't even think about getting into a relationship if the person isn't already seeing a therapist. It’s basically a green flag—it means they’ve actually put in the work with a pro for a while. But seriously, why would you go looking for extra drama? We aren't talking about a fling that lasts a summer; we're talking about someone who could be in your life for the next thirty years. You've got to consider the long game—kids, shared assets, the whole nine yards...

Choosing who we fall for? It’s impossible to decide. It just happens, I guess... or it doesn't. And now... do you stay... or do you walk away? That's the hard part because there are so many factors. Mostly, it comes down to our own maturity and character, plus how heavy the illness actually is and if the person is even willing to stick to the treatment plan...
I know two families here in my city that chose love and stayed together despite the illness present in the family (close relatives), even though the healthy partners faced pushback from their own kin. In one family, they had kids who ended up struggling with mental health issues themselves... in the other, the kids are fine, but the wife and mother is sick and honestly isn't really capable of taking care of the household... From what I can see, neither of those are happy families... though, I suppose what that means is subjective... because there's this constant fear of the future... what happens to those kids when the parents are gone? What happens to the mother and wife if the family drifts away from their support system? 🤷
Sure, medicine is moving forward and finding better ways to keep diseases under control, but... somehow... seeing these examples, I think I'd rather be with someone who is healthy... even if people call me selfish for it...
Someone mentioned Alzheimer, which I think I spelled right, and it's a terrifying disease because it anyone can get it, and it's awful how it slowly turns a person into an empty shell... If I were with someone who developed that specific disease, I'd stay by their side for as long as I could actually be helpful...
I hope people with mentally ill family members don't take this personally, but for me, knowing that would be an insurmountable hurdle.

Alex Patel96 said:This actually reminded me of a specific illness. Alzheimer's. Honestly, compared to that, I’d take any other psychiatric case in my book!🤣

Just picture this: you look at someone you love, and they don't even realize who you are.🙂😱

I've seen this before.

silentpilot6 said:In reality, most relationships eventually fail. As you mentioned, people grow tired, feelings fade, and individuals simply change over time. That isn't necessarily tied to mental illness; it’s just a natural part of life. It happens. I remember getting my heart broken when I was deeply in love, yet I also ended things with women who were clearly devoted to me. Am I wrong? When it does happen, the partner facing the situation handles it much more easily if they are mentally healthy rather than struggling. Isn't that true?

The capacity to love isn't the issue, but doesn't love itself have an "expiration date"? Perhaps not every single instance, but I'd say 95% of them 😁 certainly do. Then, hypothetically, you find yourself in a position where you no longer want to be with someone who still loves you... and if that person is also dealing with mental health issues, it becomes a hundred times harder. You end up feeling like absolute garbage. Every time I walked away from a girl who wasn't being cold toward me, I felt like total trash 😢...

Maybe the problem was actually you. People these days are way too obsessed with entertainment—especially the shallow kind—and they get bored so fast. Love is too complex to just burn out that easily. It's more like the surface layer wears thin. At that point, it just depends on the individual... whether they only cared about that top layer or the whole damn thing.

silentpilot6 said:In reality, most relationships eventually fail. As you mentioned, people grow tired, feelings fade, and individuals simply change over time. That isn't necessarily tied to mental illness; it’s just a natural part of life. It happens. I remember getting my heart broken when I was deeply in love, yet I also ended things with women who were clearly devoted to me. Am I wrong? When it does happen, the partner facing the situation handles it much more easily if they are mentally healthy rather than struggling. Isn't that true?

The capacity to love isn't the issue, but doesn't love itself have an "expiration date"? Perhaps not every single instance, but I'd say 95% of them 😁 certainly do. Then, hypothetically, you find yourself in a position where you no longer want to be with someone who still loves you... and if that person is also dealing with mental health issues, it becomes a hundred times harder. You end up feeling like absolute garbage. Every time I walked away from a girl who wasn't being cold toward me, I felt like total trash 😢...

Look, you're being selfish. You're avoiding a relationship with someone dealing with mental health struggles because you're afraid of the fallout if you decide to leave. Why not look at it differently? Couldn't you actually learn fifty times more from someone like that than you would from the average person without those challenges?
Would you refuse to date someone just because her mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother all passed away from breast cancer? The genetic probability of her developing it is just as real as the risk regarding mental health.

Maybe I’m being selfish, or maybe I just don't need any extra drama in my life if I can avoid it in the first place.🤷

Look, why focus exclusively on someone who is ill? I assume you have other criteria in mind; that shouldn't be the only factor. But since this specific topic is what’s currently on the table, we'll stick to it.

silentpilot6 said:Maybe I’m being selfish, or maybe I just don't need any extra drama in my life if I can avoid it in the first place.🤷

I honestly feel like society is constantly trying to strip away our right to be selfish.🙂

James Ramirez10 said:Look, why focus exclusively on someone who is ill? I assume you have other criteria in mind; that shouldn't be the only factor. But since this specific topic is what’s currently on the table, we'll stick to it.

Of course it isn't the only factor, but I don't see much point in discussing the others within this particular thread.🤷

Not necessarily here, but you could always start a few more threads in the appropriate subforums. Why single out just that one specific criterion? 🤷

Alex Patel96 said:I honestly feel like society is constantly trying to strip away our right to be selfish.🙂

Look, being selfish isn't against the law in America. So, society isn't actually denying anyone the "right" to be self-centered. It’s more about accountability. From a moral standpoint, if you’re out here preaching selfishness, you’ve gotta own up to it. You have to admit you're a selfish person. It’s just like how an alcoholic needs to step up and admit they have a problem. Real simple.

I was once in a relationship with someone who struggled with bipolar disorder and manic depression. They possessed an incredibly sensitive and gentle soul, paired with a brilliant, creative mind.

While I never let their mental health struggles become a point of contention between us, I will certainly not claim that navigating the situation was easy.

silentpilot6 said:I’ll admit this topic feels a bit discriminatory, but I also find it incredibly real and, frankly, quite an interesting question to pose.

To give you a specific example... I have a neighbor who is a lovely, attractive woman 🙂, but she has two cases of schizophrenia in her immediate family—her mother and her uncle. Since we know this condition can be hereditary in many instances, would I enter a relationship with someone like her? To be honest, I wouldn't... both because of her own potential struggles and the risk that our children (if we ever reached that stage 😁) might inherit it too.
With all due respect to those living with the illness, I wouldn't knowingly start a relationship with someone who is either currently struggling or faces a very high probability of developing it.
Of course, I realize it's a completely different story if I were already in a committed relationship where we were deeply in love 😍 and then discovered these facts later on...

Sorry, silentpilot6, I won't give you a direct answer to your question, but honestly, the prompt is so provocative that I'm actually kind of enjoying myself while typing this out.

See, here's the thing: I am mentally ill myself. I used to be a psychoanalyst by trade (not doing that anymore, though, because being mentally unstable makes me feel like I'd just drag down anyone else who's in the same boat), and I'll tell you straight up—I understand how exhausting it is to be around people like me, mostly because it's hard enough just being around *myself* when I'm actually present.

Nobody takes me seriously, yet everyone wants to be with me. 😢 (Kidding! Nobody wants to be with me—I'm not exactly a knockout and I'm broke as hell, but I had to say it just to fit the vibe.)

Another thing—since you brought up schizophrenia, that usually hits between ages 18 and 22. So, watch out: if you happen to fall for someone who seems fine but they're under 22...
Maybe just wait until they're 45, just to be safe, since MS tends to pop up between 20 and 40. And so on, and so forth... all the way to Alzheimer.
Honestly, the safest bet is to wait until they're at least 70, then you can go for it—along with a fat Social Security check!

Anyway, don't blame me for venting; I'm not really in my right mind lately, so you can basically take this whole opinion with a grain of salt.

Later,
A mentally ill person 😍
..................

Alright, jokes aside, let's get serious for a second.
If you ever find yourself falling for someone who is significantly ill, and you truly, deeply love them, their illness won't be a dealbreaker. You'll feel this overwhelming need to protect them—from the world, and sometimes even from themselves.
Plus, there's always that flicker of hope that your love and your life together can somehow beat the illness.
Miracles happen. If people can beat cancer after oncologists have basically given up on them, why couldn't they overcome schizophrenia, manic depression, or whatever else?

silentpilot6 said:When it comes down to your own happiness, shouldn't everyone be a little selfish? Or are there those—and I know they exist—who prefer playing the victim until they eventually just sabotage themselves?
There aren't any severe mental illnesses in my immediate family—I mean, who isn't a little bit crazy these days, but nothing has ever been officially diagnosed 😁. On the other hand, I actually have three 😬 very close relatives who are psychiatrists 😉... essentially, I've been surrounded by these issues my entire life. It used to be a subject of genuine interest to me, plus several close family friends were either personally diagnosed or had immediate family members dealing with it. I also had a neighbor and a good friend struggle with schizophrenia, so I’ve seen firsthand how much that changes a person.

In any case, I have a very clear perspective on these matters... I'd go so far as to say I understand it better than 90% of people who haven't personally experienced a major mental health crisis. And yes, I still maintain that it's better not to enter a relationship with someone facing those struggles...
Again, I want to apologize to anyone living with these disorders, but this is simply my personal stance. From various sources, I've heard countless stories involving immense self-sacrifice, complicated problems, and some truly unpleasant situations that I wouldn't want to get caught up in—at least not by consciously choosing to date someone with those specific challenges.
Can I be blamed for that? Am I lacking enough humanity? Perhaps... but on one hand, you have people living with these conditions who can't be objective about the topic (which is understandable), on the other, you have people who might not be informed enough (so they can't be objective either), and then there are people who perhaps understand the issue "a bit better"... I consider myself a member of 🙂 that third group
.
Repeat-nikati, I am not belittling anyone, nor do I hold any prejudices—regardless of what you might think (look, I've been in contact since childhood with at least ten different people carrying various diagnoses). But maybe I am being too selfish... maybe I just don't have the will or the desire, but honestly, that's just my opinion. Love often isn't enough even when both people are completely "healthy and sound," let alone in more complicated circumstances...
If I already knew a girl struggled with this, I would never start anything with her—not even a 😉 one-night stand. On the other hand, if I didn't know, or if symptoms only appeared after I had already fallen for her... well, obviously I wouldn't just walk away from her solely because of that, especially since I have three psychiatrists on speed dial who could likely help her. 🙂

Being selfish versus playing the victim is such an extreme way to look at things. It feels like someone who’s never really grasped the gorgeous, complex layers of a Scheherazade existence. It's just this black-and-white, messy logic, almost like some twisted game of power plays.
Also, I mean, maybe this whole post is just a way to say that choosing selfishness as a lifestyle is actually just a defense mechanism? Like, maybe you're just terrified of feeling inferior or falling into that "victim" trap if you ever let your guard down and actually got close to someone, which would totally wreck that controlling ego of yours.

Or am I wrong? 🤷

(I don't want to sound like a total jerk trying to psychoanalyze a stranger like 🙂, I'm just making a gentle guess!)

silentpilot6 said:Maybe I’m being selfish, or maybe I just don't need any extra drama in my life if I can avoid it in the first place.🤷

Maybe I'm off base here, but I don't know... selfish people just seem incapable of actually loving anyone. Like, at all. It’s like they can't even connect with a normal human being. Maybe that's just my take, though. So, look, if this person isn't out here giving you ulcers, nightmares, or constant anxiety—if they aren't dragging you through the dark, messy corners of your own mind—but instead, they’re just providing this constant stream of pure, sugary bliss... I don't know, like some endless loop of honey, wildflowers, sunshine, and warm milk on a perfect summer afternoon... then yeah. You’re basically just using them as a little doll for your own amusement. It's an escape hatch. You're treating them like a tool for escapism, I guess. Just a way to run away from reality.

Love doesn't care about cold-blooded business calculations or profit margins. That whole "in sickness and in health" thing? It’s not just some cheesy line from a daytime soap opera. I mean, it’s a real test. It's about sacrifice and actually showing up, you know? It's that raw, total devotion where you give everything, and honestly, I guess that kind of intensity is what makes the highs feel so damn good.

I’ve run into these massive egotists lately—people who act like they’re some kind of saintly protectors for those struggling with mental health issues. It’s such a joke. Honestly, I think it’s just a mask for their own superiority complex. They play this hero role to feel better about themselves, but then the second things get messy, they flip the script. Suddenly, the woman they were "protecting" is labeled as "crazy," "unhinged," or some "psychotic bitch." It’s pathetic. They basically use these labels as an excuse to dodge any actual accountability or conscience, turning themselves into these fake victims just so they don't have to deal with the reality of the situation. I guess it's easier to call someone unstable than to admit you failed them.
I’ve definitely run into these guys before. They see this wild, unhinged, totally unpredictable force of nature in me—kind of like a chaotic whirlwind that just tears through everything—and honestly? It knocks them sideways. I mean, they lose it. They get completely floored by the resemblance to that kind of raw energy. But then, predictably, they end up pushing me away without a second thought. It’s always the same tired excuse, too. They’ll tell me, "I can't handle another experience like this; the last one nearly killed me," or some dramatic nonsense about how they were dangling on the edge of a cliff. And if I actually manage to wound their ego? Oh, man, then the verbal onslaught starts. Just a non-stop barrage of nasty insults, followed by them trying to "cancel" me entirely. It’s exhausting, really. Maybe I just attract the wrong crowd, I guess. Or maybe they just can't handle someone who isn't playing by their rules. Who knows? 😁 Maybe I was just lying to myself, but honestly? It didn't really matter—the result was exactly the same.

That isn't even love. It's just some adolescent craving for an adrenaline rush, I guess. Maybe.

Look, the whole thing is just messy and slippery. It’s hard to get a grip when patients act like literal leeches, trying to fill their own massive internal black holes with your "love." But let's be real—these people don't actually want to get better. They just want to consume. (And honestly, this is mostly just me being self-deprecating and punching my own weight here. I guess I'm still stuck in that pathetic phase of mine where I was all about resistance, denial, and acting out of pure spite. Even now, I feel like I'm punishing myself for nothing, probably because of some lingering sense of guilt over expecting the impossible.) 🙂)

Look, most people are out there suffering just like Jesus, honestly just grinding away and praying they can turn their lives around. And I guess if there’s actually some genuine, honest desire to get better, then receiving love from others... maybe that’s what really kicks the whole healing process into gear? It acts like a catalyst, I suppose. And the reward you get for that? Man, it’s absolutely priceless.

And yeah, selfishness is a disease. It really is. Just like any other sickness, I guess. Maybe even worse because you can't just take a pill and make it go away. It's a deep-seated issue. Honestly, it's kind of pathetic how much people let it drive them.It looks like you only sent a single letter. I'm not sure what you're trying to get at here. Maybe you hit enter too soon? Or maybe you just forgot to type the rest? I guess it doesn't really matter. If you have something to say, just say it. I'm waiting.I don't even know where to start with this one. It’s just... it's a lot. I guess I'm just feeling a bit worked up about it all today. Maybe it's the weather? Or maybe I'm just overthinking things again. Honestly, it feels like everything is just hitting at once. It's frustrating, I guess. Just a total mess. 😍 Depression? Honestly, maybe it’s actually a good thing if you want to climb the corporate ladder. It’s kind of weird, but I guess that's how it works. You see these emotional wrecks just multiplying like rabbits everywhere, constantly breeding more of themselves. And then there's the whole "overly emotional" crowd—those people who are basically just a logical byproduct of a totally disconnected society. They hide this pure, childlike, authentic self underneath a fake ego, and honestly? It’s a sickness. A sickness that needs to be chained up and tossed into an ice bath. Just drown it.

Look, if you look at this from a spiritual angle rather than just some cold biological one—which is way more human, honestly—most sickness stems from a total lack of love. I mean, sure, in the really extreme cases we can’t just ignore the genetic component, but let's not let DNA play the role of the absolute prima donna here. It's not always the main character. Anyway, I guess you could say love acts as its own kind of psychotherapy. I highly recommend taking that approach with people who might actually enrich your life and make you happy to the edge of the universe—assuming those limits even exist, right? 😍

Angela Morgan3 said:Look, I’m not out here discriminating against gay people or anything... I was just trying to point out that even they deal with some level of bias, though honestly, it feels like nothing compared to what people living with schizophrenia go through. It’s like, they can be open about their orientation, but people with schizophrenia? They practically have to hide away in some corner just to get by.
In my opinion, being gay is more of a choice, whereas you don't really get to choose an illness like that.

Being gay—in terms of those core feelings and your orientation—isn't a choice. It’s just how things are; it happens without our conscious input. But the actual choice? That comes later. The choice is whether you live your life authentically as a gay person or if you decide to change based on your own will...

Kenneth Peterson5 said:Sorry, silentpilot6, I won't give you a direct answer to your question, but honestly, the prompt is so provocative that I'm actually kind of enjoying myself while typing this out.

See, here's the thing: I am mentally ill myself. I used to be a psychoanalyst by trade (not doing that anymore, though, because being mentally unstable makes me feel like I'd just drag down anyone else who's in the same boat), and I'll tell you straight up—I understand how exhausting it is to be around people like me, mostly because it's hard enough just being around *myself* when I'm actually present.

Nobody takes me seriously, yet everyone wants to be with me. 😢 (Kidding! Nobody wants to be with me—I'm not exactly a knockout and I'm broke as hell, but I had to say it just to fit the vibe.)

Another thing—since you brought up schizophrenia, that usually hits between ages 18 and 22. So, watch out: if you happen to fall for someone who seems fine but they're under 22...
Maybe just wait until they're 45, just to be safe, since MS tends to pop up between 20 and 40. And so on, and so forth... all the way to Alzheimer.
Honestly, the safest bet is to wait until they're at least 70, then you can go for it—along with a fat Social Security check!

Anyway, don't blame me for venting; I'm not really in my right mind lately, so you can basically take this whole opinion with a grain of salt.

Later,
A mentally ill person 😍
..................

Alright, jokes aside, let's get serious for a second.
If you ever find yourself falling for someone who is significantly ill, and you truly, deeply love them, their illness won't be a dealbreaker. You'll feel this overwhelming need to protect them—from the world, and sometimes even from themselves.
Plus, there's always that flicker of hope that your love and your life together can somehow beat the illness.
Miracles happen. If people can beat cancer after oncologists have basically given up on them, why couldn't they overcome schizophrenia, manic depression, or whatever else?

Ugh, this kind of stuff totally terrifies people who are scared of the "handicap" of being a caregiver, or those terrified they'll lose their own identity in the process. But honestly? They have no clue about the sheer level of gratitude—which is basically love's twin—that a "sick" loved one can feel. It can be so intense that it gives them this superhuman strength, pulling them out of the "grave" and making them soar like a condor, ready to pour everything back into the relationship.

I've gambled a lot in my life, and I've definitely spilled plenty of blood (being a double-whammy of suffering myself) just to see where it lands, but when it comes to doing the "impossible" for someone you love? Even the gates of hell wouldn't stop me. I'm not religious, obviously, but I love that metaphor. It perfectly captures my stubbornness and my refusal to back down against people who are indifferent, skeptical, selfish, or just stuck in their own shells of hurt and distrust. Besides, giving becomes addictive once you feel like you have nothing left to lose anyway. 🙂

I make it a point never to label someone as mentally unfit for a relationship just for the sake of it. However, if an individual is genuinely struggling with a mental health condition, I believe one must carefully weigh the severity and the specific symptoms before attempting to reach what I hope would be a truly informed decision.

Take my own situation, for instance; I struggle with neurotic tendencies that aren't immediately obvious to those around me. These feelings stem directly from my visual impairment and the various physical symptoms associated with my condition. While being neurotic isn't ideal, shouldn't we view it simply as an inevitable byproduct of a physical ailment? If a partner truly loves you, shouldn't that love transcend such obstacles and pave the way toward marriage?

That said, I don't actually have a partner, and quite frankly, I am enjoying the freedom of being single.

I honestly think you’ve never heard of earplugs, soldier. Why didn't you grab some when you were hanging out with that friend? Just buy some earplugs and you won't have to hear them at all.