What were your biggest pregnancy surprises and pet peeves?

cosmiccrane14 said:For me, the absolute worst part is just staring down at my plate. Everyone feels entitled to chime in and tell me that what I’m eating isn’t "baby-safe" or is loaded with pesticides, antibiotics, or some other junk. Like—am I eating enough fish? I’m definitely not touching tuna every day. And wait, are you actually going to drink a Coke? That stuff is a silent killer for babies. It’s just endless nonsense.

You won't truly get it until you actually go through it...😁
People seem to think you have to live on nothing but bread and water for three months just to prevent colic. Honestly, I count my ounces of water... and then there's the pressure to constantly sip soup. Apparently, warm soup and tea are supposed to boost milk supply. Oh, and apparently beer works too...☕

Casey Miller5 As I have noted previously, the situation remains unchanged.
Insomnia. Yeah, it’s absolutely brutal. There is nothing quite like that 3:00 AM wake-up call where your brain just decides to switch on and refuses to shut back down. Once you're up at that hour, sleep is officially off the table. 😵
One thing that really gets under my skin is how people behave on the subway or when waiting in line. There’s just no sense of etiquette—nobody bothers to stand up to give up their seat, and nobody offers to let someone cut ahead if they're clearly in a rush. It honestly infuriates me sometimes.

It’s honestly depressing. Even now that I’m using a stroller, nobody at the bank, the post office, or even down at the police station seems to care. It’s the exact same lack of empathy I dealt with back when I was heavily pregnant and walking around with a massive bump. Not a single person stepped up then, and clearly, they aren't going to step up now.😠

Carol Palmer90 said:

Casey Miller5 As I have noted previously, the situation remains unchanged.
Insomnia. Yeah, it’s absolutely brutal. There is nothing quite like that 3:00 AM wake-up call where your brain just decides to switch on and refuses to shut back down. Once you're up at that hour, sleep is officially off the table. 😵
One thing that really gets under my skin is how people behave on the subway or when waiting in line. There’s just no sense of etiquette—nobody bothers to stand up to give up their seat, and nobody offers to let someone cut ahead if they're clearly in a rush. It honestly infuriates me sometimes.

It’s honestly depressing. Even now that I’m using a stroller, nobody at the bank, the post office, or even down at the police station seems to care. It’s the exact same lack of empathy I dealt with back when I was heavily pregnant and walking around with a massive bump. Not a single person stepped up then, and clearly, they aren't going to step up now.😠

It’s honestly a disaster; it feels like nobody possesses even a shred of basic decency anymore. 😠
Have you ever just reached a breaking point where you finally snapped, only to find that fighting back was exactly what you needed to set things right? 😁
It honestly hit me this morning while I was riding the subway that I really ought to start picking up a high schooler to help out. I’ve been commuting for such a long time now, and there have been those moments where the train just slams on the brakes so suddenly that I get a real jolt of anxiety, worrying about whether I'm going to fly forward and hit something. It feels like a practical way to make the trip a little more stable. 🕺

I certainly have. I’ve stood up to give my seats to pregnant women several times. On one occasion, I intentionally stood right next to a young woman, but she didn't even acknowledge me—not even a little bit. Then, an older gentleman in the front row started to rise, but I spoke up firmly, noting that there were plenty of younger people available to take the seat instead. So, he did... and that was while I was pregnant myself. Don't feel hesitant about it. Give those seats to expectant mothers. You never know when a bus might slam on its brakes unexpectedly.

Then there was the day I simply lost my patience. I walked into the local Post Office carrying my little one in a baby carrier, and a girl in line immediately told me to go ahead of her. As for everyone else? They didn't even flinch...

Carol Palmer90 said:I certainly have. I’ve stood up to give my seats to pregnant women several times. On one occasion, I intentionally stood right next to a young woman, but she didn't even acknowledge me—not even a little bit. Then, an older gentleman in the front row started to rise, but I spoke up firmly, noting that there were plenty of younger people available to take the seat instead. So, he did... and that was while I was pregnant myself. Don't feel hesitant about it. Give those seats to expectant mothers. You never know when a bus might slam on its brakes unexpectedly.

Then there was the day I simply lost my patience. I walked into the local Post Office carrying my little one in a baby carrier, and a girl in line immediately told me to go ahead of her. As for everyone else? They didn't even flinch...

Unknown, Carol Palmer90!! 🙂
I honestly think we should all just lean into these hormones while they last, haha!
Truthfully, what gets under my skin the most is when someone just stares at me while staying firmly planted in their seat. Look, I haven't exactly gained a massive amount of weight, but you can definitely see the bump now that I'm six months along. It drives me crazy: why are you staring if you aren't planning on getting up? 🙂

It feels like our generation was raised with different values; growing up in America, you almost never saw an elderly person, someone with a cane, a pregnant woman, or a mother with a child without someone instinctively offering them a seat. 🤷

It’s quite clear that we were raised with much better manners. Looking at kids these days, they don't have even a shred of etiquette, let alone anything else. On top of that, they’ve become incredibly arrogant and disrespectful.

I recently witnessed two young girls on a subway in New York City; they were both squeezed onto a single seat—on that hard plastic part—and seemingly felt that because there were two of them, they weren't obligated to stand up for anyone.

My own experience was actually more difficult. When I was about three or four months along, the weather wasn't exactly warm, so I wore a jacket to camouflage my pregnancy. I didn't even bother asking anyone to give up their seat, because I feared people would judge me and think, "Why on earth should she get to sit?" I did mention to one lady that I would have appreciated a seat if I weren't pregnant and having such a rough day—she hadn't asked, of course, but I just felt awkward since she didn't seem to notice...

I also hold a grievance against JPMorgan Chase, as they offer no priority seating or special accommodations for pregnant women or mothers with small children...

It’s honestly heartbreaking that you’re feeling this way, especially when you're struggling because your bump isn't showing enough yet, making people doubt whether you're even pregnant.
As for places like JPMorgan Chase or other businesses, I really think if the employees there saw a pregnant woman or a mom with a toddler being ignored, they should step up and tell them they can skip the line.

I have to be honest, though—the biggest disappointment has been from other women. There were a few times on the subway when I finally got a seat, and it was mostly just the men who stood up to offer it. It’s wild to me because most of those women were probably pregnant themselves and knew exactly how heavy and exhausting it feels, yet none of them would budge an inch. So much for "girl power." 🤮

Carol Palmer90 said:

Casey Miller5 As I have noted previously, the situation remains unchanged.
Insomnia. Yeah, it’s absolutely brutal. There is nothing quite like that 3:00 AM wake-up call where your brain just decides to switch on and refuses to shut back down. Once you're up at that hour, sleep is officially off the table. 😵
One thing that really gets under my skin is how people behave on the subway or when waiting in line. There’s just no sense of etiquette—nobody bothers to stand up to give up their seat, and nobody offers to let someone cut ahead if they're clearly in a rush. It honestly infuriates me sometimes.

It’s honestly depressing. Even now that I’m using a stroller, nobody at the bank, the post office, or even down at the police station seems to care. It’s the exact same lack of empathy I dealt with back when I was heavily pregnant and walking around with a massive bump. Not a single person stepped up then, and clearly, they aren't going to step up now.😠

This is incredibly disrespectful. It immediately brings to mind that Anne Frank woman and that status she posted—the one that every major news outlet and website picked up. Nobody gave her an ounce of priority, and to make matters worse, the public actually turned on her, asking, "What does she want? She isn't even sick..."
I find it quite distasteful, honestly. And frankly, the women who were quick to condemn her? They’re even worse.

Casey Miller5 said:Unknown, Carol Palmer90!! 🙂
I honestly think we should all just lean into these hormones while they last, haha!
Truthfully, what gets under my skin the most is when someone just stares at me while staying firmly planted in their seat. Look, I haven't exactly gained a massive amount of weight, but you can definitely see the bump now that I'm six months along. It drives me crazy: why are you staring if you aren't planning on getting up? 🙂

It feels like our generation was raised with different values; growing up in America, you almost never saw an elderly person, someone with a cane, a pregnant woman, or a mother with a child without someone instinctively offering them a seat. 🤷

I don't mind missing out on a seat, especially once I throw on one of those nursing shirts where the baby can latch on 😁

Plus, in certain places—like at JPMorgan Chase, for example—I've seen signs saying pregnant women and people with disabilities get priority, though I'm never quite sure how that actually plays out in real life. 🤔

Honestly, the absolute worst part about this whole pregnancy thing is that people won't shut up. They just keep telling me I have no idea what’s coming. "Enjoy it while you can," they say. "Once the baby arrives, say goodbye to your life, goodbye to your freedom, and goodbye to you and your boyfriend as a couple." Like, give me a break. Kids are an overwhelming responsibility. You can kiss sleep and sanity goodbye, not to mention sex and actually going out on a Friday night. You won't have a single second to yourself. And when the baby finally sleeps? You'll want to sleep too, but that’s a luxury you simply won't be able to afford—because who’s going to handle the cleaning and the cooking? Then there's the physical stuff. Your breasts will sag, your nipples will be constantly sore. It's all just grim.

Seriously, I haven't heard one single positive thing about motherhood since I found out I was pregnant. Every time I scroll through Facebook, some article pops up about parenting—and it's always the same. Everyone is complaining, everyone is frustrated, everyone was completely unprepared for such an exhausting job...
So now I'm left wondering—do all these people think I'm an idiot? Do they think I'm expecting a newborn to be some precious little ball of fluff that just sleeps all day while I cuddle and feed it? Or is motherhood truly this brutal (and am I genuinely clueless about the nightmare ahead)?

I am looking forward to my baby, I really am, but it is incredibly difficult to stay upbeat when you're being bombarded by negativity and fear-mongering from every direction.

And another thing—can someone please explain to me (and I have read and heard this a thousand times already)—how exactly does taking a shower or washing your hair become a "luxury" once a baby is born?? It takes me exactly fifteen minutes to shower and wash my hair. 🤷

boldotter47 said:Honestly, the absolute worst part about this whole pregnancy thing is that people won't shut up. They just keep telling me I have no idea what’s coming. "Enjoy it while you can," they say. "Once the baby arrives, say goodbye to your life, goodbye to your freedom, and goodbye to you and your boyfriend as a couple." Like, give me a break. Kids are an overwhelming responsibility. You can kiss sleep and sanity goodbye, not to mention sex and actually going out on a Friday night. You won't have a single second to yourself. And when the baby finally sleeps? You'll want to sleep too, but that’s a luxury you simply won't be able to afford—because who’s going to handle the cleaning and the cooking? Then there's the physical stuff. Your breasts will sag, your nipples will be constantly sore. It's all just grim.

Seriously, I haven't heard one single positive thing about motherhood since I found out I was pregnant. Every time I scroll through Facebook, some article pops up about parenting—and it's always the same. Everyone is complaining, everyone is frustrated, everyone was completely unprepared for such an exhausting job...
So now I'm left wondering—do all these people think I'm an idiot? Do they think I'm expecting a newborn to be some precious little ball of fluff that just sleeps all day while I cuddle and feed it? Or is motherhood truly this brutal (and am I genuinely clueless about the nightmare ahead)?

I am looking forward to my baby, I really am, but it is incredibly difficult to stay upbeat when you're being bombarded by negativity and fear-mongering from every direction.

And another thing—can someone please explain to me (and I have read and heard this a thousand times already)—how exactly does taking a shower or washing your hair become a "luxury" once a baby is born?? It takes me exactly fifteen minutes to shower and wash my hair. 🤷

I second this.
I get those same comments with nothing but sour expressions on their faces... all of them saying, "Just wait until you see what's coming." It's incredibly irritating, though lately, I've just started tuning it out. It goes in one ear and out the other.

I've heard that shower comment too... or the classic, "I didn't even have time to use the bathroom!"
Maybe I'm being naive, but where is the father in all this? He should be helping with the child and covering those 10 minutes I need just to shower and wash my hair.

I honestly cannot wrap my head around the sheer nonsense some people spout. What hurts the most is that I actually had to listen to this kind of garbage while I was pregnant from people who already have toddlers themselves.🙄

And you know what? It is absolute stupidity.

The truth is, it all comes down to your own mindset. If your life feels chaotic before pregnancy, things might feel even more complicated afterward—but that's just how life works.

Sure, the beginning can be a struggle because of breastfeeding or sleep deprivation. But even those babies eventually sleep through the night. And look, you can still take a full bath instead of just a quick shower. Even with my little one, from day one up until now three months later, I manage to tidy the house every single day (I have a long-haired cat, so the shedding means I have to clean more often), cook lunch, do laundry every third day, and iron every fourth day. Not to mention I’m constantly out and about running errands with the baby. Somehow, I still find time to shower! xD

So, ladies, just tune out that negativity and don't let them get to you. Everything is going to be just fine.👍

Henry Brown2 said:I second this.
I get those same comments with nothing but sour expressions on their faces... all of them saying, "Just wait until you see what's coming." It's incredibly irritating, though lately, I've just started tuning it out. It goes in one ear and out the other.

I've heard that shower comment too... or the classic, "I didn't even have time to use the bathroom!"
Maybe I'm being naive, but where is the father in all this? He should be helping with the child and covering those 10 minutes I need just to shower and wash my hair.

Even if there isn't a father around, I refuse to believe there is a single baby out there who never sleeps for more than ten minutes at a time. Look, I realize every child is different, and yes, some are absolute nightmares that wake up constantly crying, but at the end of the day, newborns sleep a massive amount. That is an objective fact. They don't do anything else besides sleep, eat, poop, and cry.

Carol Palmer90 said:I honestly cannot wrap my head around the sheer nonsense some people spout. What hurts the most is that I actually had to listen to this kind of garbage while I was pregnant from people who already have toddlers themselves.🙄

And you know what? It is absolute stupidity.

The truth is, it all comes down to your own mindset. If your life feels chaotic before pregnancy, things might feel even more complicated afterward—but that's just how life works.

Sure, the beginning can be a struggle because of breastfeeding or sleep deprivation. But even those babies eventually sleep through the night. And look, you can still take a full bath instead of just a quick shower. Even with my little one, from day one up until now three months later, I manage to tidy the house every single day (I have a long-haired cat, so the shedding means I have to clean more often), cook lunch, do laundry every third day, and iron every fourth day. Not to mention I’m constantly out and about running errands with the baby. Somehow, I still find time to shower! xD

So, ladies, just tune out that negativity and don't let them get to you. Everything is going to be just fine.👍

Thanks for this. That’s exactly how I saw it—it really comes down to your mindset and your baseline personality. There are women who, the moment they give birth, completely reduce themselves to the role of the "martyr mother" (think: "Oh, I shouldn't go out to dinner with my friends while my poor baby is at home") and then end up frustrated later on. I truly believe life can be much easier and much better than that.😁

And yeah, here's another one that I find baffling, yet I hear it constantly: "I miss having time to read or watch TV"—said by a woman with a two-month-old. What on earth are you doing during those first two months when you're with the baby 24/7 and nursing?

I’ve been poked and prodded about my stomach enough today to last through this entire pregnancy. 🙏najper:
I was at work handling some site visits, and then my father-in-law and his girlfriend dropped by too.

I’m only 23 weeks along, and honestly, my bump isn't even showing much yet.

It’s hard to dodge the comments, and I hate being the person who ruins everyone's excitement—though, let's be real, some people actually care and others... well, meh. 🙈

boldotter47 said:Honestly, the absolute worst part about this whole pregnancy thing is that people won't shut up. They just keep telling me I have no idea what’s coming. "Enjoy it while you can," they say. "Once the baby arrives, say goodbye to your life, goodbye to your freedom, and goodbye to you and your boyfriend as a couple." Like, give me a break. Kids are an overwhelming responsibility. You can kiss sleep and sanity goodbye, not to mention sex and actually going out on a Friday night. You won't have a single second to yourself. And when the baby finally sleeps? You'll want to sleep too, but that’s a luxury you simply won't be able to afford—because who’s going to handle the cleaning and the cooking? Then there's the physical stuff. Your breasts will sag, your nipples will be constantly sore. It's all just grim.

Seriously, I haven't heard one single positive thing about motherhood since I found out I was pregnant. Every time I scroll through Facebook, some article pops up about parenting—and it's always the same. Everyone is complaining, everyone is frustrated, everyone was completely unprepared for such an exhausting job...
So now I'm left wondering—do all these people think I'm an idiot? Do they think I'm expecting a newborn to be some precious little ball of fluff that just sleeps all day while I cuddle and feed it? Or is motherhood truly this brutal (and am I genuinely clueless about the nightmare ahead)?

I am looking forward to my baby, I really am, but it is incredibly difficult to stay upbeat when you're being bombarded by negativity and fear-mongering from every direction.

And another thing—can someone please explain to me (and I have read and heard this a thousand times already)—how exactly does taking a shower or washing your hair become a "luxury" once a baby is born?? It takes me exactly fifteen minutes to shower and wash my hair. 🤷

I've been listening to the same old stories too.
The funniest part is that all these people telling me this know me—they know there's a huge age gap between me and my siblings, so they know I've seen some of this before—but even then, it feels constant. Honestly, though, everything depends on how you organize your day; you really can manage to get things done and still find time to rest and be yourself.

It's honestly getting on my nerves, hearing the same warnings for the five-hundredth time. If I had to head straight back to work at Starbucks right after giving birth, I might get it, but since I'll be home most of the time, surely I can find ten minutes to wash up? 😁

Not every baby is easygoing, you know, some little ones just push you to your absolute limit... there are moms out there who basically can't even step away to use the restroom without a diaper change waiting, or they have babies that just won't stop screaming, which honestly just isn't everyone's cup of tea...

For me, those first two months were a total blur of exhaustion, physical aches, constant nursing, trying to sleep whenever I could, and hormones that were just swinging wildly everywhere... one minute I was over the moon happy, then I was incredibly cranky, and then I'd just burst into tears like it was the end of the world. I don't know, that whole beginning was both beautiful and incredibly draining... I actually lost my temper with my husband a few times, and honestly, I didn't even recognize myself...😬

As soon as we got home from the hospital, I picked up an electric breast pump, and that was pretty much my golden ticket to having any kind of life outside the house... 😬 About twenty days after giving birth, I jumped right back into my college courses, exams, seminars, and pulling all-nighters studying, and let me tell you, it wasn't easy at all. It felt like I was teetering on the edge of losing my mind, and the sheer exhaustion was just overwhelming. I would go out with friends for dinner or a night out once a week, though I could have gone more often if I had the energy. But there’s this weird sort of "mom madness" where I’ll head out feeling happy as a clam, only to start missing them after about two hours... so I just come home and stare at the two of them while they sleep...
Everything just revolves around the little one now. When we think about going out for a stroll or somewhere else, my first thought is always how she’ll handle it. My whole life has shifted to accommodate her and respect her rhythm. Whether you want it to or not, your entire world changes, even if it feels like it happened all on its own...

The "complications" were honestly what got under my skin the most.
I mean, the actual ones, or those "what if" scenarios people love to blow out of proportion.
I’ve always viewed pregnancy as a natural process.
Sure, your body changes, your hormones go haywire, and walking becomes a chore by the end... but that’s just part of prepping your body for birth and nursing a newborn later on.
I never complained about heartburn. It’s normal to have heartburn when everything is compressed; I’d be surprised if I didn't.
But what really irritates me is all the preemptive over-caution.
Running the same tests three, four, five times—or even every single month—just because a glucose reading might nudge from 12.1 to 12.5.
Getting blood drawn practically every week just to "monitor" things and make sure nothing goes wrong.
Look, maybe I was lucky that all my results came back perfectly fine, so now I can sit here and wonder if they were even necessary to that extent.
Still, I can't shake the feeling that it's all a bit excessive.
Anyway, I’m almost through it, and then I can't wait to stop being on a first-name basis with my doctors for at least a year. Just being able to show up for an annual checkup once a year without all the drama... that’s the dream. 🙂

boldotter47 said:Thanks for this. That’s exactly how I saw it—it really comes down to your mindset and your baseline personality. There are women who, the moment they give birth, completely reduce themselves to the role of the "martyr mother" (think: "Oh, I shouldn't go out to dinner with my friends while my poor baby is at home") and then end up frustrated later on. I truly believe life can be much easier and much better than that.😁

And yeah, here's another one that I find baffling, yet I hear it constantly: "I miss having time to read or watch TV"—said by a woman with a two-month-old. What on earth are you doing during those first two months when you're with the baby 24/7 and nursing?

Look, it happens. Some babies are just harder than others. And honestly, it also depends on whether you have your mom or mother-in-law nearby to help out.😉
Sure, you could breastfeed and still try to watch Netflix or read, but it's all about how much focus you actually have when you're exhausted. I was flying solo, with my husband at work until 5 or 6 PM. Every time the baby finally fell asleep, I'd start making lunch or folding tiny onesies... just as I sat down to eat, she'd be wide awake and screaming.😬
I didn't get a real meal until 5 when he got home. I used to be so jealous of moms sitting at a cafe while their baby napped. Mine only slept while I was walking or pushing the stroller; the second I stopped, the crying started.
It was beautiful and tough at the same time. I finished maternity leave weighing 119 pounds and feeling totally drained, but I did enjoy those quiet moments with my coffee.😬

Carol Palmer90 said:It’s quite clear that we were raised with much better manners. Looking at kids these days, they don't have even a shred of etiquette, let alone anything else. On top of that, they’ve become incredibly arrogant and disrespectful.

I recently witnessed two young girls on a subway in New York City; they were both squeezed onto a single seat—on that hard plastic part—and seemingly felt that because there were two of them, they weren't obligated to stand up for anyone.

My own experience was actually more difficult. When I was about three or four months along, the weather wasn't exactly warm, so I wore a jacket to camouflage my pregnancy. I didn't even bother asking anyone to give up their seat, because I feared people would judge me and think, "Why on earth should she get to sit?" I did mention to one lady that I would have appreciated a seat if I weren't pregnant and having such a rough day—she hadn't asked, of course, but I just felt awkward since she didn't seem to notice...

I also hold a grievance against JPMorgan Chase, as they offer no priority seating or special accommodations for pregnant women or mothers with small children...

I was at Chase with my baby once. The woman behind the counter called me over to come right up immediately.