What were your biggest pregnancy surprises and pet peeves?

velvettrucker7 said:Regarding those last two posts.
It’s the exact same story over here. The very first thing people hit me with is, "Wait, you're still working?"—as if it's some sort of tragedy. Honestly, leave me alone; I don't have any issues, and I actually love what I do.
But the second I mention that I’m hoping to stay on the clock until my final 45 days, suddenly everyone becomes an expert. They start acting like it's a crisis, lecturing me about how I desperately need to "rest" and "prepare" for the baby.
As if catching up on sleep is going to fix anything. Right—because clearly, I can just bank 150 hours of extra sleep now to use later, and then everything will magically be easy.

Exactly! If only I could just stockpile some extra energy like that... 🤣

It’s incredibly draining. My contract wraps up in a month, and I’m due to give birth in three. All I hear from coworkers is, "So, how much longer are you staying?" One clerk even had the nerve to suggest I start handing over files for archiving now so she isn't overwhelmed when I leave.
Since I work for a government agency, I’ve already spoken with both managers about extending my contract—even just a temporary role—so I can qualify for maternity benefits as an employee. We'll see what happens.
One colleague I usually get along with told me there was absolutely no way they'd approve it. She sounded so bitter, I could hardly believe it.
When I mentioned my stress to a friend, her response was basically, "Who cares? As long as your husband has a job." She actually stayed unemployed through her entire pregnancy; they just set up a fake payroll entry at some small firm so she could collect maternity pay. Meanwhile, I’m still working right up until three months before my due date.
The uncertainty is what gets to me most, along with people who have zero tact. I would never dream of asking someone a question like that.
I know I should stay focused on the baby and not let this get to me, but it's hard.

During my second pregnancy, I found the unsolicited commentary absolutely insufferable whenever I mentioned I was expecting another boy. 🙄It was rare to encounter anyone offering a genuine word of support; instead, the remarks were almost exclusively patronizing or dismissive—comments about whether we’d try again for a girl, claims that boys are a handful, or snide jokes about raising a little football team. One man even laughed in my face, which I took as blatant mockery, though he eventually ended up with two sons himself. 😁Now I am waiting on a third son, and I can already anticipate the predictable barrage of judgment that follows.

Amy Cruz8 said:It’s incredibly draining. My contract wraps up in a month, and I’m due to give birth in three. All I hear from coworkers is, "So, how much longer are you staying?" One clerk even had the nerve to suggest I start handing over files for archiving now so she isn't overwhelmed when I leave.
Since I work for a government agency, I’ve already spoken with both managers about extending my contract—even just a temporary role—so I can qualify for maternity benefits as an employee. We'll see what happens.
One colleague I usually get along with told me there was absolutely no way they'd approve it. She sounded so bitter, I could hardly believe it.
When I mentioned my stress to a friend, her response was basically, "Who cares? As long as your husband has a job." She actually stayed unemployed through her entire pregnancy; they just set up a fake payroll entry at some small firm so she could collect maternity pay. Meanwhile, I’m still working right up until three months before my due date.
The uncertainty is what gets to me most, along with people who have zero tact. I would never dream of asking someone a question like that.
I know I should stay focused on the baby and not let this get to me, but it's hard.

Hey, maybe look into whether you can transition immediately to medical leave for complications after that month is up if they don't extend you? I'm honestly not sure how the replacement process works in those cases, but that way you wouldn't end up with two months of unemployment.

I also plan to work until 45 days before my due date because, even though I thought about leaving earlier, it just isn't worth it. Either financially, or simply because being active makes the days pass faster, and my job isn't physically demanding. If I were home, I'd just be Googling symptoms and driving myself crazy... 🕺

Nicole Patel2 said:Hey, maybe look into whether you can transition immediately to medical leave for complications after that month is up if they don't extend you? I'm honestly not sure how the replacement process works in those cases, but that way you wouldn't end up with two months of unemployment.

I also plan to work until 45 days before my due date because, even though I thought about leaving earlier, it just isn't worth it. Either financially, or simply because being active makes the days pass faster, and my job isn't physically demanding. If I were home, I'd just be Googling symptoms and driving myself crazy... 🕺

Medical complications don't change anything. Once the contract expires, it's over. I'm unemployed the moment it ends, regardless of where I am.😁

The belly touching thing.

It’s only been a little while since I started this job, and I’ve already had some people "caress" my stomach—always out of nowhere, always just passing by, no conversation, just accompanied by this incredibly stupid grin.

I’ll be standing next to someone, and suddenly, they're touching my midsection.
It's the women, not the men.

What is wrong with them? The last time it happened, I actually grabbed her hand away because I was already so livid—it honestly made me lose my temper.

Has anyone else dealt with this? I get the feeling it’s actually more common with casual acquaintances than actual friends.

I hate it with everything in me. It’s pathetic. They don't even ask; they just start touching you. And generally speaking, I really don't like being touched...

It hasn't happened to me yet, but I feel like I’d probably just yank my hand away if someone tried touching me without asking first. Just like Nicole Patel2... I'm really not a fan of being touched...

I didn't really mind when people I knew reached out to touch my belly...

I always make sure to ask if it's okay first, especially if it's someone I'm already acquainted with and they happen to be pregnant... I never just lunge in like a hungry pit bull, because honestly, that's just not how I'd want anyone to treat me either...

Touching my belly? Absolutely not! I couldn't stand anyone being handsy with me during my first pregnancy, and I feel exactly the same way this time around. The only people allowed to touch my bump are my little girl and the father-to-be 😁

I used to think women were just being dramatic on these forums whenever they talked about people touching their baby bumps.
But now that I’m actually pregnant myself, I get it... it’s such a weird, intrusive feeling. Especially when it's people who aren't exactly in my inner circle. Of course, I let my husband and my closest family touch, but I have this neighbor who constantly lunges at me to feel the belly. It really bugs me and makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable, but I just don't know how to be rude about it without making things awkward.

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I’ve reached the point where I instinctively hold something in front of my stomach whenever I spot potential "attention seekers." Honestly? I can practically see that look of disappointment in their eyes. Like, "Seriously? Why is she hiding behind that now?"

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My mom's neighbor used to slide her hand under my jacket... so I guess it's up to you to figure out how and why.

So the other day I was totally cracking up with a coworker and accidentally thought she was a 🙂—then I just went for it and said, since we’re already touching, 😬 after she grabbed my stomach. 😎

Some people have actually started calling me fat, even though I’ve only gained about a pound by week 22. 🤦

If anyone who isn't close to me tries to grab my stomach, they're going to get bitten. 😬

It’s like I’m completely invisible to everyone everywhere
I was on the subway earlier, and I swear at least three different people offered me their seat

steelfalcon14 said:It’s like I’m completely invisible to everyone everywhere
I was on the subway earlier, and I swear at least three different people offered me their seat

Precisely.

I don't ride the subway all that often, but I feel compelled to point out that not once—not even once—was a seat offered to me by a woman. It’s always men. Younger guys, older guys—it doesn't matter. Just men.

I have to say, I’ve been surprised by how often people offer me a seat... And it’s always older women 🙂

Look, just ask people to give you a hand if standing up feels like too much of a struggle.

Funny story. I once saw an expectant mother standing there and offered her my seat—didn't even realize I was sitting, just saw an empty spot—and she flat-out rejected me. 😬 So yeah, sometimes people just flip the script on you. 😁