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Can't stop the anxiety :(

Started by Nancy Castillo40 · · 👁 3 views · 22 replies

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Participants Nancy Castillo40stormystag16Keith Jones76velvetscout43Thomas Bishop64quietheron6wiredmarlin29Ashley Johnson80stormyjackal46Bryan Phillips62
Nancy Castillo40 Nancy Castillo40 MemberOP
10 messages
joined Mar 2009
#1 ·
Hi everyone, sending my best wishes to all of you!

I’m new here. I decided to register because I have this overwhelming need to share this "state of being" that just won't let me go.
I’m 20 years old. I’m currently a sophomore in college—it’s not exactly my dream school, but I don't hate it either, and I certainly don't think my studies are the root cause of my issues.
Back in my junior year of high school, I started feeling this occasional sense of dread toward everything. It was a depression that would grip me for a few days and then let go, and then repeat... until those few days eventually morphed into a constant, heavy presence in my head.
About two years ago, I had a realization that absolutely shook me. I tried to work through it with someone very close to me, weighing all the evidence for and against the things I was hearing... and I ended up pouring so much time and energy into trying to see the situation positively and simply choosing to believe them.
I think that was the trigger that accelerated everything. Since then, I’ve found myself trusting my family and the world around me less and less.

I’ve been in a relationship for two years now. We’ve had our ups and downs, just like any couple, but we love each other. Before this, I was in a three-year relationship during high school that ended terribly for me. I dealt with threats, being followed around town, manic phone calls... basically, ever since then, my tolerance threshold has been incredibly low, and I tend to snap quickly out of fear that someone might treat me like that again.

In that previous relationship, I suppressed so much of myself, and now it's all coming back to haunt me through my dreams and these intrusive thoughts. For my age, I feel like I've lived through a lifetime of chaos. I couldn't pull myself away from that relationship at first, but after two years, I finally stood my ground and realized he was unstable. Between that fear, the shock from what happened two years ago, my general hypersensitivity, and my tendency to overanalyze everything, it's taken its toll. I feel like I've been falling apart for a year now.

The anxiety is so intense sometimes that I feel like I’m going to jump out of my own skin. It’s often accompanied by heart palpitations or chest pains. I've even had a few bouts of suicidal ideation. I find myself distrusting everyone, and I try to control every single detail of my life just so nothing slips through my fingers again. I've become a total control freak—it's scary. If a friend calls me spontaneously to hang out when I hadn't planned on leaving the house (even if I don't have anything specific scheduled), I'll stay home. There are plenty of other examples, but I'm already rambling too much in this post. I constantly wonder what people are thinking or how they are feeling. There was even a phase where I thought it would be better if I just vanished so my family could breathe easier. At one point, I actually packed a suitcase and left... though I came back soon enough, because where would I go without a plan? 🤷I just don't know how to function like that. Lately, I've been afraid of people. I spend the rest of my day analyzing anything that deviates from what I expected. It’s hell... I haven't felt relaxed in years... I can't keep living like this.

Should I see a psychologist? A psychiatrist? On the other hand, the people who seem to understand this say it isn't anything catastrophic and that I just need to "work on myself." But how? I just don't have the strength.
stormystag16 stormystag16 Active Member
61 messages
joined Jun 2010
#2 ·
Go find some actual professional help because anyone telling you this isn't a big deal is dead wrong...

And yeah, you’re gonna have to put in the work on yourself eventually, but seriously, go see a therapist first.
Nancy Castillo40 Nancy Castillo40 MemberOP
10 messages
joined Mar 2009
#3 ·
I’m just not sure... if I tell my parents that I want to go see someone for a consultation just to figure out where I stand, they’ll probably just claim I’m being dramatic again.
It’s honestly so discouraging. To be completely blunt, the thing that scares me most is this intense social anxiety. It’s reached a point where my entire world has shrunk down to just my one best friend and my boyfriend. I haven't been able to make a single new friend. Lately, I’ve been hanging out with a group from my college classes, but I just don't have the nerve to actually go out with them. I keep my distance, say what I need to say, and then I just retreat.

I don't even recognize myself anymore.
It feels like my life is stuck on pause, as if I’m just waiting for some distant, magical day when I can finally start living. But deep down, I know that day isn't coming. That’s why I feel so hopeless. I should be full of energy and drive, but there's nothing left in the tank. Sometimes it feels like I’ve drifted so far away from who I used to be; I have these moments every single day where I just zone out, bite my nails, and exist in this total vacuum. My thoughts just spin endlessly in my head.

And then, of course, they tell me I'm overreacting, that I just need to "relax," or that I have absolutely nothing to complain about.
stormystag16 stormystag16 Active Member
61 messages
joined Jun 2010
#4 ·
I honestly don't think they even grasp what you're going through... you really ought to sit down with someone at the Mayo Clinic because they'll actually know how to handle this

It feels pretty pointless for me to be sitting here playing therapist and throwing advice at you when it's obvious you've already heard enough of this nonsense from people like me

And don't sweat the older generation too much... sure, they might act shocked at first, but eventually, they'll realize this is actually the best way to go 😉
Nancy Castillo40 Nancy Castillo40 MemberOP
10 messages
joined Mar 2009
#5 ·
Go ahead and lecture me if you must; that’s exactly why I came here to talk. Look, I haven't spent my life devouring psychology textbooks, so I don't really have the clinical vocabulary to describe this state any differently than I just did. I honestly don't even know what to call it.
I am fully aware that self-diagnosing—or getting a "diagnosis" from an internet forum—doesn't carry any weight compared to a professional evaluation from someone at the Mayo Clinic, but I just have this overwhelming need to voice this. In my day-to-day life, everything just gets brushed off as me being dramatic, or people tell me I'm just overthinking things for a moment...
But honestly, I'm exhausted by this way of living. It feels like I'm just not strong enough to keep going like this. I don't know how to shake this feeling. I'm hyper-sensitive, and because of everything I've been through, I feel like I'm constantly in a state of tension. I simply can't allow myself to ignore even the smallest detail that feels "off" anymore. Subconsciously, I've convinced myself that this time, my internal alarm system has to go off immediately. I feel like I have to notice everything and react instantly so I don't end up in a relationship where I get hurt or treated poorly, but then again, on the other hand, living every single day with this level of intensity feels completely unnatural.
stormystag16 stormystag16 Active Member
61 messages
joined Jun 2010
#6 ·
you said it yourself... no amount of self-help books is gonna do as much heavy lifting as an hour at the Mayo Clinic 🙂

it’s easy for me to sit here and tell you to just stop spiraling about everything that could go wrong and focus on the good stuff instead, especially when you're already struggling to even see the light...
Nancy Castillo40 Nancy Castillo40 MemberOP
10 messages
joined Mar 2009
#7 ·
Yeah, making that kind of turnaround is tough. Really tough. It’s just... it's hard work.
stormystag16 stormystag16 Active Member
61 messages
joined Jun 2010
#8 ·
Look, I get it. A pro is going to be way more helpful than any of us hanging out on this forum (even if most of us here actually mean well)

Seriously though, you should try to set up an appointment with someone at the Mayo Clinic this Monday! 🙂
Keith Jones76 Keith Jones76 Active Member
174 messages
joined Mar 2009
#9 ·
I've got some good news and some bad news.

The good part is that you aren't being paranoid. That feeling like you’re literally falling apart? It’s irrational. Nothing of that nature is actually going to happen to you. It’s just standard, albeit incredibly intense, anxiety. You haven't lost your mind—not even close. This might sound hard to believe right now, but it isn't nearly as catastrophic as it feels; you aren't some "critically ill" patient.
The bad news is that this isn't just a "phase" or something trivial you can just shake off. It’s serious, which is why you can't just snap out of it by sheer willpower. Don't beat yourself up over that. While I can't hand out official diagnoses, this looks a lot like PTSD. Honestly, it’s perfectly reasonable that you're traumatized after that nightmare of a relationship involving all that stalking and harassment. The flashbacks, the panic attacks, the hyper-vigilance regarding future threats, and the way you’re avoiding certain people or situations—it all fits the profile of PTSD. Even that feeling that your personality has shifted—that’s depersonalization. You aren't "crazy," you aren't weak, and you aren't to blame. You're dealing with a manageable psychological condition (PTSD is essentially a normal reaction to abnormal circumstances) that is significantly impacting your quality of life, and it needs to be treated. That’s the bottom line.

I also think you have a very high chance of a full recovery over time. The most effective therapy would likely involve a combination of medication and psychotherapy, so your best bet is to see a psychiatrist immediately—maybe head over to the Mayo Clinic. They have psychologists on staff too if they decide that's the right route.
The sooner you start, the easier the process will be, and the faster you can get back to living your actual life.
velvetscout43 velvetscout43 Newcomer
1 message
joined Mar 2009
#10 ·
Whoa, hold on—it doesn’t automatically mean it’s PTSD. ............ These are pretty standard symptoms for various psychological issues,
just like one of the guests mentioned... the symptoms overlap so much that it's easy to think (as I did) that you're checking every single box on the list..
Look, she won't know the actual diagnosis until she actually sees a specialist at the Mayo Clinic.🤷
Thomas Bishop64 Thomas Bishop64 Member
14 messages
joined May 2008
#11 ·
Nancy Castillo40 said:Hi everyone, sending my best wishes to all of you!

I’m new here. I decided to register because I have this overwhelming need to share this "state of being" that just won't let me go.
I’m 20 years old. I’m currently a sophomore in college—it’s not exactly my dream school, but I don't hate it either, and I certainly don't think my studies are the root cause of my issues.
Back in my junior year of high school, I started feeling this occasional sense of dread toward everything. It was a depression that would grip me for a few days and then let go, and then repeat... until those few days eventually morphed into a constant, heavy presence in my head.
About two years ago, I had a realization that absolutely shook me. I tried to work through it with someone very close to me, weighing all the evidence for and against the things I was hearing... and I ended up pouring so much time and energy into trying to see the situation positively and simply choosing to believe them.
I think that was the trigger that accelerated everything. Since then, I’ve found myself trusting my family and the world around me less and less.

I’ve been in a relationship for two years now. We’ve had our ups and downs, just like any couple, but we love each other. Before this, I was in a three-year relationship during high school that ended terribly for me. I dealt with threats, being followed around town, manic phone calls... basically, ever since then, my tolerance threshold has been incredibly low, and I tend to snap quickly out of fear that someone might treat me like that again.

In that previous relationship, I suppressed so much of myself, and now it's all coming back to haunt me through my dreams and these intrusive thoughts. For my age, I feel like I've lived through a lifetime of chaos. I couldn't pull myself away from that relationship at first, but after two years, I finally stood my ground and realized he was unstable. Between that fear, the shock from what happened two years ago, my general hypersensitivity, and my tendency to overanalyze everything, it's taken its toll. I feel like I've been falling apart for a year now.

The anxiety is so intense sometimes that I feel like I’m going to jump out of my own skin. It’s often accompanied by heart palpitations or chest pains. I've even had a few bouts of suicidal ideation. I find myself distrusting everyone, and I try to control every single detail of my life just so nothing slips through my fingers again. I've become a total control freak—it's scary. If a friend calls me spontaneously to hang out when I hadn't planned on leaving the house (even if I don't have anything specific scheduled), I'll stay home. There are plenty of other examples, but I'm already rambling too much in this post. I constantly wonder what people are thinking or how they are feeling. There was even a phase where I thought it would be better if I just vanished so my family could breathe easier. At one point, I actually packed a suitcase and left... though I came back soon enough, because where would I go without a plan? 🤷I just don't know how to function like that. Lately, I've been afraid of people. I spend the rest of my day analyzing anything that deviates from what I expected. It’s hell... I haven't felt relaxed in years... I can't keep living like this.

Should I see a psychologist? A psychiatrist? On the other hand, the people who seem to understand this say it isn't anything catastrophic and that I just need to "work on myself." But how? I just don't have the strength.

Go to a psychologist. This isn't something you can fix just by talking to friends, family, or a boyfriend. Even though they help as much as they can, that only carries you for a little while before it wears off... you might be able to function for a bit, but it isn't a solution. You need something more substantial... don't wait until something happens that literally changes your entire life.
Nancy Castillo40 Nancy Castillo40 MemberOP
10 messages
joined Mar 2009
#12 ·
I’m feeling a bit more level today. It’s honestly like that sensation when you finally fish a pebble out of your shoe—just pure relief. Mind you, I did have one major crying spell earlier because everything just hit me at once... but compared to yesterday, I’m doing better.

When things stabilize like this, I feel like there are these two extreme versions of myself, with only this incredibly thin line separating them. There are moments where I feel like I'm walking that tightrope, desperately trying not to trip over into the "bad" side. When I’m actually on the good side—feeling okay and connected to the world—I look back and think, "Wait, was I really ever that low?" It makes me feel a little crazy, honestly. That clarity usually lasts maybe 10 or 20 minutes, and on very rare occasions, maybe half an hour... but then, inevitably, something else crops up to worry me. It’s just so exhausting.

I’ve decided I’m going to see a professional; I’ve had enough of this mental tug-of-war. Sometimes when I catch my reflection in the mirror, I can't help but wonder how it's even possible that all this turmoil is happening behind the face I've known my entire life—the face I show to the rest of the world.
stormystag16 stormystag16 Active Member
61 messages
joined Jun 2010
#13 ·
glad you're feeling a bit more human today 🙂

and honestly, good on you for actually making that appointment with the therapist at the Mayo Clinic 🙂
Nancy Castillo40 Nancy Castillo40 MemberOP
10 messages
joined Mar 2009
#14 ·
🙂I guess I just still need to figure out how to truly open up to someone I don't even know yet😢

Anyway, thanks everyone so much for all the advice and sharing your thoughts with me🙂
stormystag16 stormystag16 Active Member
61 messages
joined Jun 2010
#15 ·
Nancy Castillo40 said:🙂I guess I just still need to figure out how to truly open up to someone I don't even know yet😢

Anyway, thanks everyone so much for all the advice and sharing your thoughts with me🙂

man, you can totally 👍

personally, I find it way easier to vent to people I don't even know... I feel like they're more objective than my own friends or family since they don't have all those preconceptions

besides, you already opened up to us, so you'll be able to handle a therapist or whatever👍
Nancy Castillo40 Nancy Castillo40 MemberOP
10 messages
joined Mar 2009
#16 ·
Maybe I’ll actually find the courage to speak my mind about this in real life, too. Honestly, getting it out there is half the battle when it comes to making any real progress.😉
stormystag16 stormystag16 Active Member
61 messages
joined Jun 2010
#17 ·
Nancy Castillo40 said:Maybe I’ll actually find the courage to speak my mind about this in real life, too. Honestly, getting it out there is half the battle when it comes to making any real progress.😉


you make a solid point 👍
Keith Jones76 Keith Jones76 Active Member
174 messages
joined Mar 2009
#18 ·
velvetscout43 said:Whoa, hold on—it doesn’t automatically mean it’s PTSD. ............ These are pretty standard symptoms for various psychological issues,
just like one of the guests mentioned... the symptoms overlap so much that it's easy to think (as I did) that you're checking every single box on the list..
Look, she won't know the actual diagnosis until she actually sees a specialist at the Mayo Clinic.🤷

I didn't say it was a certainty; I just said she needs to see a specialist.
But let's say I'm just guessing! 🤔 And usually, my gut feeling is pretty solid. 👍
quietheron6 quietheron6 Newcomer
5 messages
joined Mar 2009
#19 ·
Good luck 🙂 transfer what your therapist says—it’ll actually help me out too, kinda 😁
wiredmarlin29 wiredmarlin29 Member
30 messages
joined Jan 2009
#20 ·
wiredmarlin29;19382033 said:Hey everyone, sending my best to all of you!

I'm new here. I finally decided to sign up because I have this overwhelming need to talk to someone about this "state" I've been in—it just won't let me go.
I'm 20. A sophomore in college. I wouldn't say I'm obsessed with my studies, but I don't hate them either. I don't think school is the cause of my problems.
Back in my junior year of high school, I started feeling this occasional sense of hopelessness. These bouts of depression would hit for a few days and then fade, until they didn't. Eventually, those few days turned into a constant presence in my head.
Two years ago, something happened that shook me to my core. It was a realization that changed everything. I tried to work through it with someone very close to me, weighing the evidence for and against what I had heard from them... I spent so much time and energy trying to force myself to see things positively and just believe them.
I think that was the trigger. It just accelerated everything. Since then, I've found it harder and harder to trust my family or anything else in my life.

I've been in a relationship for two years now. We've had our ups and downs like anyone else, but we love each other. Before him, I was in a three-year relationship during high school that ended terribly. I dealt with threats, being followed around town, manic phone calls... ever since then, my tolerance is incredibly low. I snap easily out of fear that someone might treat me like that again.

In that old relationship, I suppressed so much of myself. Now, all of it is coming back through my dreams and these intrusive thoughts. For my age, I feel like I've lived through a lifetime of stuff. I couldn't get out of that relationship at first, but after two years, I finally stood my ground and realized he was unstable. Between that fear, the shock from two years ago, being hyper-sensitive, and my tendency to overanalyze everything... it's taken its toll. I've been falling apart for a year now.

The anxiety is intense. Sometimes it feels like I'm going to crawl out of my own skin. There are moments when my heart races or my chest hurts. I've even had suicidal thoughts. I don't trust anyone. I try to control every single thing around me just so nothing slips away again. I've become a total control freak. It’s scary. If a friend calls me spontaneously to hang out and I haven't planned to go out—even if I have nothing else scheduled—I'll stay home. I have so many more examples, but I'll stop there before this post gets too long. I'm constantly wondering what people are thinking or how they're feeling. I went through a phase where I thought it would be better if I just disappeared, so my family could breathe easier...

Psychiatrist.🤷

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