How can I help???

amberraven9 said:The hardest part for me is knowing she’s home most of the time. We rarely go out without her. When I'm working or away for a few days, I get this nagging sense of guilt. It feels wrong to be out having fun while she's just sitting there alone. I don't think she's thrilled about it either. I can tell she's bored, but it’s like she lacks the drive to change things. It isn't laziness. It's more like resignation. Years of a high-stress career and just a hard life have taken their toll. I think that's why she's stuck like this.

You might want to consider where you're finding benefit in all of this. You have someone to care for, which makes you a socially acceptable 'martyr,' and subconsciously, you might be fueling this cycle. It seems like a situation where neither of you is truly happy. Maybe that's the first thing you need to break, but you're the one who knows best. 😁

Keith Jones76 said:You might want to consider where you're finding benefit in all of this. You have someone to care for, which makes you a socially acceptable 'martyr,' and subconsciously, you might be fueling this cycle. It seems like a situation where neither of you is truly happy. Maybe that's the first thing you need to break, but you're the one who knows best. 😁

I don't see any benefit in it. It started because I felt guilty about spending most of my days stuck at home alone.

Sometimes we just like to tell ourselves we’re the ones doing the caring.
Sure, all of this happens on autopilot! Which is exactly why people fight so hard against actually becoming aware of it.

Plus, let’s be real—an online forum is a pretty limited medium for this kind of deep advice.

Keith Jones76 said:Sometimes we just like to tell ourselves we’re the ones doing the caring.
Sure, all of this happens on autopilot! Which is exactly why people fight so hard against actually becoming aware of it.

Plus, let’s be real—an online forum is a pretty limited medium for this kind of deep advice.

Honestly, I actually care. I want her to have a life that feels full and meaningful. It hits me hard thinking about how much time she spends stuck inside her house—that’s exactly why I’m posting here in the first place. I didn't quite catch the drift of what was said above. And yeah, I get it, a forum is a limited medium.