feralheron84 said:Look, most people spend about 95% of their time talking nonsense or just rambling about themselves. Unless you're at some high-level medical symposium, there's an endless supply of things to jump into or chat about. Your issue is really this part right here—it sounds like a lack of confidence is tricking you into thinking a group is somehow "greater" than you. Like they're more valuable, so your take doesn't matter, which then makes you feel like you're being pushy when you actually speak up. Honestly, most people don't even notice if someone is "intruding" unless you're being genuinely annoying, like constantly interrupting or acting like an egomaniac. Just try easing into the conversation slowly without overthinking it. No one’s going to judge you for having an opinion. Once you get comfortable, you'll find it's much easier to bring up topics you actually care about and get others talking about them.
Low self-esteem and skewed perception. Look, unless you're out there dressed like a clown or rolling around on the floor, nobody thinks you’re being ridiculous or stupid. Just realize that people aren't really watching you, nor do they care about your little slip-ups. Even if someone laughs, they're laughing at the situation, not at you, Chris Cooper5. You can see it yourself—they just keep talking amongst themselves... PEOPLE ARE BUSY WITH THEIR OWN LIVES. You're stressing over what others think instead of just focusing on your own head.
It’s not that people talk too much. It’s more that you aren't saying enough. Most folks won't just wait their turn; they’ll stay quiet for a few minutes while you struggle to find your footing. A conversation isn't like a Congressional hearing, you know? There aren't any formal rules. Usually, once you actually start talking, the other person shuts up to listen. If they don't, you can try asking, "May I say something?"—give them a little stern look for emphasis. If they still ignore you, honestly, they aren't worth the effort, though those types are pretty rare. You just have to realize it's usually not that they don't want to hear you, it's just that you *think* they don't. Makes sense? It's kind of like trying to walk around wearing foggy glasses.
REALITY (people who actually want to hang out with you) + DIRTY LENSES (your warped view of the world caused by low self-esteem) = DISTORTED REALITY (thinking nobody wants to be around you and everyone finds you awkward)
The thing is, you’ve got to ditch those glasses. Just start believing that people actually find you interesting and that you have something to offer when you talk.
You do have friends. Maybe not "call them for coffee right this second" friends, but there are people out there willing to connect with you. They're everywhere. You've been on this forum long enough that if you looked closer, a few people would likely step up to hang out.
My advice? Just talk. Talk to anyone—the barista, the cashier, the bus driver. Practice that small talk. Don't just rely on doctors and prescriptions. Take it in tiny steps. And hey, next time, tell us how old you are.
Just picture it. There’s this group of people—I don't even know their names, honestly—just standing there, joking around and messing with each other, and I'm just... there. Standing on the sidelines. And I keep thinking, what if I actually tried to join in? Like, what if I walked up, introduced myself, or maybe just threw in some stupid little comment because that’s really the only way to break the ice, right? How would that even go? Everyone would probably burst out laughing, and I’d just want to sink straight through the floor. And the thing is, this has been going on for six months now. It feels like forever. Everyone else has basically become best friends, acting like they've known each other since kindergarten, while I just watch them every single day without saying a word. Not one word. Then, the other day, two girls come up to me and ask if *they* smell bad. I mean, seriously? Shouldn't I be the one asking them if *I* smell? They're the ones who haven't made an effort to get close to me, not the other way around. So when they finally decide to try and make contact, they do it with a question that ridiculous. I guess I've just given up. 🙄
feralheron84 said:Look, most people spend about 95% of their time talking nonsense or just rambling about themselves. Unless you're at some high-level medical symposium, there's an endless supply of things to jump into or chat about. Your issue is really this part right here—it sounds like a lack of confidence is tricking you into thinking a group is somehow "greater" than you. Like they're more valuable, so your take doesn't matter, which then makes you feel like you're being pushy when you actually speak up. Honestly, most people don't even notice if someone is "intruding" unless you're being genuinely annoying, like constantly interrupting or acting like an egomaniac. Just try easing into the conversation slowly without overthinking it. No one’s going to judge you for having an opinion. Once you get comfortable, you'll find it's much easier to bring up topics you actually care about and get others talking about them.
Low self-esteem and skewed perception. Look, unless you're out there dressed like a clown or rolling around on the floor, nobody thinks you’re being ridiculous or stupid. Just realize that people aren't really watching you, nor do they care about your little slip-ups. Even if someone laughs, they're laughing at the situation, not at you, Chris Cooper5. You can see it yourself—they just keep talking amongst themselves... PEOPLE ARE BUSY WITH THEIR OWN LIVES. You're stressing over what others think instead of just focusing on your own head.
It’s not that people talk too much. It’s more that you aren't saying enough. Most folks won't just wait their turn; they’ll stay quiet for a few minutes while you struggle to find your footing. A conversation isn't like a Congressional hearing, you know? There aren't any formal rules. Usually, once you actually start talking, the other person shuts up to listen. If they don't, you can try asking, "May I say something?"—give them a little stern look for emphasis. If they still ignore you, honestly, they aren't worth the effort, though those types are pretty rare. You just have to realize it's usually not that they don't want to hear you, it's just that you *think* they don't. Makes sense? It's kind of like trying to walk around wearing foggy glasses.
REALITY (people who actually want to hang out with you) + DIRTY LENSES (your warped view of the world caused by low self-esteem) = DISTORTED REALITY (thinking nobody wants to be around you and everyone finds you awkward)
The thing is, you’ve got to ditch those glasses. Just start believing that people actually find you interesting and that you have something to offer when you talk.
You do have friends. Maybe not "call them for coffee right this second" friends, but there are people out there willing to connect with you. They're everywhere. You've been on this forum long enough that if you looked closer, a few people would likely step up to hang out.
My advice? Just talk. Talk to anyone—the barista, the cashier, the bus driver. Practice that small talk. Don't just rely on doctors and prescriptions. Take it in tiny steps. And hey, next time, tell us how old you are.
It’s not even a confidence thing, really. I’ve got plenty of that. It’s just... I don't know, it feels kind of stupid to just dive headfirst into a conversation with a bunch of people you don't actually know. If it were just one person, sure, I could make it work. But they’re always in this big group, and the whole setup of me just wandering up to them to ask something feels pretty ridiculous when you think about it. Plus, they just end up laughing at me.
feralheron84 said:Look, most people spend about 95% of their time talking nonsense or just rambling about themselves. Unless you're at some high-level medical symposium, there's an endless supply of things to jump into or chat about. Your issue is really this part right here—it sounds like a lack of confidence is tricking you into thinking a group is somehow "greater" than you. Like they're more valuable, so your take doesn't matter, which then makes you feel like you're being pushy when you actually speak up. Honestly, most people don't even notice if someone is "intruding" unless you're being genuinely annoying, like constantly interrupting or acting like an egomaniac. Just try easing into the conversation slowly without overthinking it. No one’s going to judge you for having an opinion. Once you get comfortable, you'll find it's much easier to bring up topics you actually care about and get others talking about them.
Low self-esteem and skewed perception. Look, unless you're out there dressed like a clown or rolling around on the floor, nobody thinks you’re being ridiculous or stupid. Just realize that people aren't really watching you, nor do they care about your little slip-ups. Even if someone laughs, they're laughing at the situation, not at you, Chris Cooper5. You can see it yourself—they just keep talking amongst themselves... PEOPLE ARE BUSY WITH THEIR OWN LIVES. You're stressing over what others think instead of just focusing on your own head.
It’s not that people talk too much. It’s more that you aren't saying enough. Most folks won't just wait their turn; they’ll stay quiet for a few minutes while you struggle to find your footing. A conversation isn't like a Congressional hearing, you know? There aren't any formal rules. Usually, once you actually start talking, the other person shuts up to listen. If they don't, you can try asking, "May I say something?"—give them a little stern look for emphasis. If they still ignore you, honestly, they aren't worth the effort, though those types are pretty rare. You just have to realize it's usually not that they don't want to hear you, it's just that you *think* they don't. Makes sense? It's kind of like trying to walk around wearing foggy glasses.
REALITY (people who actually want to hang out with you) + DIRTY LENSES (your warped view of the world caused by low self-esteem) = DISTORTED REALITY (thinking nobody wants to be around you and everyone finds you awkward)
The thing is, you’ve got to ditch those glasses. Just start believing that people actually find you interesting and that you have something to offer when you talk.
You do have friends. Maybe not "call them for coffee right this second" friends, but there are people out there willing to connect with you. They're everywhere. You've been on this forum long enough that if you looked closer, a few people would likely step up to hang out.
My advice? Just talk. Talk to anyone—the barista, the cashier, the bus driver. Practice that small talk. Don't just rely on doctors and prescriptions. Take it in tiny steps. And hey, next time, tell us how old you are.
Nah, I don't think so.😂 I don't know, people laugh at me like it's some big lack of confidence thing, but I honestly think it’s just that people can't handle anyone who's a little different or maybe just isn't on their exact wavelength. Everyone is wired differently, I guess, but where does that leave me? Because, truthfully, about 90% of those people just get under my skin. Like, I’ll walk into a lecture hall and everyone starts snickering. Then you've got certain people making these nasty little comments, like, "Oh, here she comes." And then—this is the part that really sticks—some girl will chime in and say something totally disrespectful to the professor, and the worst part? The professor actually goes, "Alright, now that we're all here, let's get started," like it was perfectly fine. And everyone just rolls around on the floor laughing. All because I walked into the room. It's just... yeah. 🤷
And then, I don't know, I'll catch them staring at me sometimes, and they'll say something and start laughing. So I'll just ask what's so funny, and they're always like, "Oh, nothing, just enjoy yourself..." 🙄
