Selfishness, dissatisfaction, genetics, or something else?

I’m going to keep things vague to protect everyone's privacy...

I’m honestly trying to wrap my head around one thing. What goes through someone's mind when they snap? Like, hurting their own dog, losing it on a highway because someone didn't use a blinker, being abusive to family unless they need something, and acting like everyone else is just trash...

The kicker is how they play the saint to everyone else. They act like the ultimate martyr, telling people how unappreciated they are—even though none of that "hard work" actually exists. They play the victim so convincingly that I'm pretty sure they even believe their own lies...

Since I'm basically part of this family, I see everything firsthand. It's pretty horrifying. Just a selfish, cold, spoiled monster who is genuinely convinced they're the only person who matters.

A narcissist?

shadowtrucker18 said:A narcissist?

I know someone who hits all those narcissistic checkboxes, but he isn't aggressive at all. He's totally different from this guy. He just manipulates you, plays word games, and constantly quotes these "idols" of his...

But this guy isn't like that. He isn't calculating. He’s actually pretty simple...
and incredibly aggressive. One second he's fine, then he just snaps. He loses it, turns pale, and honestly, he's capable of killing someone... or smashing everything in sight...

Plus, he's insanely jealous of his own brother. It's really messed up...

border?

shadowtrucker18 said:border?

I think I'll do a little reading to see if those symptoms actually match up.

Hm, he strikes me as a psychopath. 🤷 Someone like that isn't going to change. I feel for his family.

...just way too much testosterone mixed with a massive dose of pure frustration equals total and utter bullshit

goldeneagle8 said:...just way too much testosterone mixed with a massive dose of pure frustration equals total and utter bullshit

What makes you say that?

He just needs a serious reality check to knock some sense into him—and he’ll need one every single time he thinks he’s learned his lesson.

hollowgardener7 said:Hm, he strikes me as a psychopath. 🤷 Someone like that isn't going to change. I feel for his family.

Yeah, honestly worse than I even imagined someone could be... I wish I could go into detail about what happened, but I really shouldn't.😢

Alex Bennett3 said:He just needs a serious reality check to knock some sense into him—and he’ll need one every single time he thinks he’s learned his lesson.

Honestly, I suggested the exact same thing... but his family just airs everything out in public. It’s a miracle things don't just blow up in his face and leave him 👎

Jason Sanchez3 said:Honestly, I suggested the exact same thing... but his family just airs everything out in public. It’s a miracle things don't just blow up in his face and leave him 👎

Fine. Let them keep feeding him. 👍 They have turned him into a monster who thinks he can mistreat everyone. They can deal with the consequences.

I know some older folks who would simply say: "Send him to work a manual labor job in the Midwest."

hollowgardener7 said:Fine. Let them keep feeding him. 👍 They have turned him into a monster who thinks he can mistreat everyone. They can deal with the consequences.

I know some older folks who would simply say: "Send him to work a manual labor job in the Midwest."

Yeah, everything is being handled wrong......
And nobody wants to actually talk about it, even though he gets worse by the day..
He can get away with anything... there are zero consequences...
No tough love...
Just constant enabling in hopes that things will magically improve.

It's wild, but he gets this special royal treatment specifically because of how he acts, mostly because his mom clings to those rare moments when he's actually being normal.

Oh, and he's 27 now.

There’s probably some logic behind it, I suppose...

Personally, I lost patience with people like that a long time ago. If things get bad enough, I’ll just pack up and walk away. You have to learn how to navigate around them—find ways to dodge their nonsense entirely.

Alex Bennett3 said:There’s probably some logic behind it, I suppose...

Personally, I lost patience with people like that a long time ago. If things get bad enough, I’ll just pack up and walk away. You have to learn how to navigate around them—find ways to dodge their nonsense entirely.

Haha, I just love him... honestly, I can't help it, I love him endlessly...

But I really can't deal with it anymore. Especially since I've become part of the family now. He acts like that toward me too, and when I'm over at their house, it’s just not right for me to be cleaning up after him there...

I'd love to help, though. It's just getting hard to watch how he treats his mom, not to mention the dog.

Antisocial personality disorder. It frequently co-occurs with narcissism and/or borderline traits.

He basically grew up without any real authority figures in his life...

Only show up when there’s someone else there who hates him as much as you do. Then, just slowly tear him apart together. Trust me, it'll be a lot easier that way.

And it could certainly veer into the histrionic...

Honestly, I’m almost more curious about how to get a family—or even the whole household—to really step up, confront him together, and try to use some tough love and consistency to finally get him back on track...