How long does the honeymoon phase actually last?

There isn't really one definitive answer to this, but I think it's worth having a little discussion about it🙂
For instance, I remember watching a TV special a year or two ago—I can't recall the exact title—where they discussed oxytocin. It’s that hormone our brains release when we fall in love, providing us with the kind of energy that, given the right circumstances, drives us to build a family. People often refer to it as the loyalty hormone.🙂It also gets released during breastfeeding because there are direct neural pathways from the breast to the brain where oxytocin is produced. That explains why mothers feel such an intense bond with their babies and why they light up so much just seeing a baby smile.😁In that same program, they mentioned that the initial phase of being "in love" typically lasts about three years. After that point, other factors take over, and if a marriage survives, it means either that the infatuation successfully transitioned into deep love, or the couple found a different common ground, such as financial stability, raising children, or perhaps even complementary psychological dynamics like BDSM.😁

Well, that is one way to look at it. Another perspective comes from Jung's theories regarding the projection of the anima or animus onto a partner. Once those projections fade, that blissful intoxication tapers off because you finally start seeing the person for who they truly are. The outcome follows the same logic as the previous paragraph.🙂

If you have recently read anything by other psychologists or authors regarding the nature of falling in love, please share... or just tell me about your own experiences.🙂

Speaking from experience, I have a tendency to fall hard. It usually starts with about a month of total, hysterical infatuation where I act completely irrational—like saying, "I’ll move into a shantytown with you right now, just as long as you love me." Then comes a few months of being stuck in that intense, crazy crush phase. After that, I hit denial. Suddenly, I’m telling myself I don't even like him, and the fact that I’m obsessively thinking about him feels totally irrelevant. Then comes the hatred phase. I curse his name and destroy everything that reminds me of him. Finally, it all ends in this blissful apathy. The whole cycle usually lasts about six months.😁Hang in there, sweetie.🤣🤣

Seven months, based on my own experience.

Three years... then those butterflies in your stomach finally disappear...

It usually lasts anywhere from a year to six years, I guess. And if things hadn't just gone south, who knows? It probably would've dragged on even longer... honestly, I think it all just comes down to how things play out. But yeah, I've had plenty of crushes... though I wouldn't exactly call them being in love.

Hm, if you ask me, it was all a bit too brief.😕😁

Hmm, it felt a bit too soon if you ask me.😕😁

wiredcrane11 said:There isn't really one definitive answer to this, but I think it's worth having a little discussion about it🙂
For instance, I remember watching a TV special a year or two ago—I can't recall the exact title—where they discussed oxytocin. It’s that hormone our brains release when we fall in love, providing us with the kind of energy that, given the right circumstances, drives us to build a family. People often refer to it as the loyalty hormone.🙂It also gets released during breastfeeding because there are direct neural pathways from the breast to the brain where oxytocin is produced. That explains why mothers feel such an intense bond with their babies and why they light up so much just seeing a baby smile.😁In that same program, they mentioned that the initial phase of being "in love" typically lasts about three years. After that point, other factors take over, and if a marriage survives, it means either that the infatuation successfully transitioned into deep love, or the couple found a different common ground, such as financial stability, raising children, or perhaps even complementary psychological dynamics like BDSM.😁

Well, that is one way to look at it. Another perspective comes from Jung's theories regarding the projection of the anima or animus onto a partner. Once those projections fade, that blissful intoxication tapers off because you finally start seeing the person for who they truly are. The outcome follows the same logic as the previous paragraph.🙂

If you have recently read anything by other psychologists or authors regarding the nature of falling in love, please share... or just tell me about your own experiences.🙂

I interpreted Jung differently... isn't it more about recognizing oneself within another person?

Sure, but we’ll always be something different 😉

wiredcrane11 said:Sure, but we’ll always be something different 😉

Well, I suppose... if memory serves, he used to link those anima/animus archetypes directly back to our parents. Specifically, Jung noted that he recognized his own anima in a woman who possessed a neck and hair remarkably similar to his mother's. It follows, then, that we inevitably recognize something familiar from our past experiences when we fall in love with someone else.

I believe it is vital to understand how we all essentially reflect one another; when we fall for another person, we are, in truth, falling for ourselves and the collection of memories we carry.

Perhaps I am being a bit too romantic about the whole thing, but that is simply my perspective.

I have been in love for a year now, and I see no end in sight.😍 In fact, everything just feels more intense.😁

hiddenhound3 said:Well, I suppose... if memory serves, he used to link those anima/animus archetypes directly back to our parents. Specifically, Jung noted that he recognized his own anima in a woman who possessed a neck and hair remarkably similar to his mother's. It follows, then, that we inevitably recognize something familiar from our past experiences when we fall in love with someone else.

I believe it is vital to understand how we all essentially reflect one another; when we fall for another person, we are, in truth, falling for ourselves and the collection of memories we carry.

Perhaps I am being a bit too romantic about the whole thing, but that is simply my perspective.

I have been in love for a year now, and I see no end in sight.😍 In fact, everything just feels more intense.😁

Or perhaps we are just falling for the best version of ourselves that the other person manages to bring out. Sometimes we do this to ourselves without even realizing it, and then we end up feeling totally let down by our partners once those illusions finally fade away. (That happened to a close friend of mine)

wiredcrane11 said:There isn't really one definitive answer to this, but I think it's worth having a little discussion about it🙂
For instance, I remember watching a TV special a year or two ago—I can't recall the exact title—where they discussed oxytocin. It’s that hormone our brains release when we fall in love, providing us with the kind of energy that, given the right circumstances, drives us to build a family. People often refer to it as the loyalty hormone.🙂It also gets released during breastfeeding because there are direct neural pathways from the breast to the brain where oxytocin is produced. That explains why mothers feel such an intense bond with their babies and why they light up so much just seeing a baby smile.😁In that same program, they mentioned that the initial phase of being "in love" typically lasts about three years. After that point, other factors take over, and if a marriage survives, it means either that the infatuation successfully transitioned into deep love, or the couple found a different common ground, such as financial stability, raising children, or perhaps even complementary psychological dynamics like BDSM.😁

Well, that is one way to look at it. Another perspective comes from Jung's theories regarding the projection of the anima or animus onto a partner. Once those projections fade, that blissful intoxication tapers off because you finally start seeing the person for who they truly are. The outcome follows the same logic as the previous paragraph.🙂

If you have recently read anything by other psychologists or authors regarding the nature of falling in love, please share... or just tell me about your own experiences.🙂

Well, here I am, eagerly waiting to get my hands on 'Love Lasts Three Years' by Frédéric Beigbeder, just so we can see what the most popular cynic has to say about the whole subject 😉
Apparently, he tries to blend scientific theory with his own personal history...

How long does that initial rush of being in love actually last? It feels like such an intensely personal experience... I suppose it lasts right up until the moment you stop being individuals and start becoming a single, inseparable unit 👍
And once that happens, you might as well head to the altar, because eventually, you just end up feeling like siblings... or after a certain number of years of marriage, you basically become like two sisters living under one roof... 😂

wiredbear2 said:Well, here I am, eagerly waiting to get my hands on 'Love Lasts Three Years' by Frédéric Beigbeder, just so we can see what the most popular cynic has to say about the whole subject 😉
Apparently, he tries to blend scientific theory with his own personal history...

How long does that initial rush of being in love actually last? It feels like such an intensely personal experience... I suppose it lasts right up until the moment you stop being individuals and start becoming a single, inseparable unit 👍
And once that happens, you might as well head to the altar, because eventually, you just end up feeling like siblings... or after a certain number of years of marriage, you basically become like two sisters living under one roof... 😂

Some people claim you should run as far away from that book as possible because it is overhyped, pretentious, and frankly irritating.
However, since I haven't read it myself—I have been actively avoiding it based on various recommendations—all I can tell you is to prepare yourself for a massive spectrum of reactions, ranging from total fascination to deep disappointment.

@wiredcrane11, I suppose I am simply too much in love right now to offer any coherent insight into the nature of falling in love, other than to say that it feels wonderful. 🙂

Three years? Is that actually too much? Or perhaps not enough?
Take love at first sight, for instance; in my view, it’s largely unfounded and incredibly shallow. Even if something meaningful does blossom from it, I don't believe it lasts very long because it's rooted primarily in physical appearance—which, let's be honest, isn't always the most reliable metric when you're truly getting to know someone.
When those feelings of infatuation arise between people who already have an established connection—acquaintances or longtime friends—that spark can endure for a very long time. You see, if you happen to fall for someone whose virtues and flaws you already recognize, there's no sudden shock of disappointment; you already know what to expect.
Besides, there is something genuinely sweet about watching two friends fall in love. 😍
While many people argue against it, claiming that romantic love inevitably destroys the friendship, I believe people have enough sense to handle things maturely. If it doesn't work out, everything can be settled without any unnecessary drama.

I’ve heard that being "in love" might only last two or three years before it either evolves into actual love... or just fizzles out into nothing at all. 😁

Falling in love is basically just having enough free time to mess around and play games with someone before things get serious,
but actual love? That’s what happens when you’re too busy to go out and find anyone better...

hiddenhound3 said:Some people claim you should run as far away from that book as possible because it is overhyped, pretentious, and frankly irritating.
However, since I haven't read it myself—I have been actively avoiding it based on various recommendations—all I can tell you is to prepare yourself for a massive spectrum of reactions, ranging from total fascination to deep disappointment.

@wiredcrane11, I suppose I am simply too much in love right now to offer any coherent insight into the nature of falling in love, other than to say that it feels wonderful. 🙂

Oh, don't you worry, I know exactly what to expect when it comes to Facebook 😉
But the idea that I need to flee from this thing? Honestly, I doubt some trendy, high-society French hipster is going to shift my perspective on love, no matter how charming the prose might be... 😍
Still, I suppose I'd recommend it to the brave souls out there—those with rock-solid life philosophies who refuse to believe some fictionalized nonsense claiming that love only lasts for three years... 🙂

I know one that’s been going on for 13 years already.
Mutual.

wiredbear2 said:Oh, don't you worry, I know exactly what to expect when it comes to Facebook 😉
But the idea that I need to flee from this thing? Honestly, I doubt some trendy, high-society French hipster is going to shift my perspective on love, no matter how charming the prose might be... 😍
Still, I suppose I'd recommend it to the brave souls out there—those with rock-solid life philosophies who refuse to believe some fictionalized nonsense claiming that love only lasts for three years... 🙂

This isn't actually a discussion about true love, it's just about the initial rush of being infatuated.😉

🙂Love lasts longer than you think