Is this a scam???

Hey everyone...

I’m honestly sitting here just crying my eyes out and I can't seem to catch my breath... My heart is absolutely racing and I just feel so incredibly helpless right now. I don't even know if there's something wrong with me, like maybe it's my own self-esteem or something, but I'm spiraling. So, my boyfriend invited me to join Facebook, and even though I usually hate all that social media stuff, I kind of got sucked into it and ended up reconnecting with some old friends from high school. But then, while I was scrolling through his profile, I saw this poll he posted where people could vote on whether they'd go out with him or not... As I'm typing this, my heart is practically jumping out of my chest. I seriously cannot believe this! And the worst part? Two people actually voted yes. I’m assuming it was just his female friends voting, because you can't participate unless you're on his list and added as a friend.😢...
I mean, like... wtf??? I have no idea if I should even bring this up to him, or ask him straight out if he did this specifically to make me jealous. Part of me wishes I had never even seen it, wished I hadn't joined Facebook at all, but now this whole thing is just haunting me... Like, someone should just adopt him as a pet or something... and honestly, I get this nagging feeling that he's just desperately fishing for attention from other girls on there... I don't even know what else to think about it all.

The absolute worst thing happens when you factor the internet into a relationship. I’ve been there myself—suffering through those senseless outbursts of jealousy because of some ridiculous suspicion I had while staring at an MSN chat window. But once one of us stopped spending so much time online, everything smoothed out. You're dealing with the same thing. These Facebook demons are just fueling your paranoia. It’s perfectly normal for your boyfriend to interact with other women; it shouldn't be worth your tears. I am certain he isn't trying to run a scam on you; he probably just enjoys having someone else to talk to online besides just you. The best cure for this nonsense is to step away from the computer, go for a walk, and actually talk to each other in person. That's how things get fixed. Honestly, you have no reason to be this worked up. It's just the internet, and those people are nothing more than virtual friends.

Give it a rest... I have to admit, you gave me a good laugh. You’re taking this way too seriously. People joke around on Facebook all the time; my buddy has a girlfriend, and we’re constantly leaving comments about how hot he looks—even his bros join in on the teasing. This whole idea that his girl "bought him like a pet" is just internet slang and inside jokes. He isn't doing any of this to make you jealous, trust me... It’s really that simple.

Work on your self-confidence. Unless your guy is a known player, you really don't have anything to worry about.😉

Don't worry, be happy...

I’ve basically bought all my friends as pets 😕 And I swear on my life, I am not cheating on any of them.
It’s just perfectly natural that if you asked, I’d say I want to go out with every single one of them. Even though, realistically, I wouldn't.

-Man, you actually scared the hell out of me😲.

-...Nah, you're just asking for trouble... kid meets Facebook😁.

-Look, people are generally nasty and ready to stab you in the back (not everyone—shoutout to the exceptions)... don't be naive. Just watch your back.

you're seriously overreacting, honestly. I used to be just like you, but I guess I've learned my lesson over the years, so maybe you will too...
I mean, I used to cry about stuff like this all the time, but now it all seems pretty ridiculous to me. Don't stress out over nothing.

silentfalcon6 said:Hey everyone...

I’m honestly sitting here just crying my eyes out and I can't seem to catch my breath... My heart is absolutely racing and I just feel so incredibly helpless right now. I don't even know if there's something wrong with me, like maybe it's my own self-esteem or something, but I'm spiraling. So, my boyfriend invited me to join Facebook, and even though I usually hate all that social media stuff, I kind of got sucked into it and ended up reconnecting with some old friends from high school. But then, while I was scrolling through his profile, I saw this poll he posted where people could vote on whether they'd go out with him or not... As I'm typing this, my heart is practically jumping out of my chest. I seriously cannot believe this! And the worst part? Two people actually voted yes. I’m assuming it was just his female friends voting, because you can't participate unless you're on his list and added as a friend.😢...
I mean, like... wtf??? I have no idea if I should even bring this up to him, or ask him straight out if he did this specifically to make me jealous. Part of me wishes I had never even seen it, wished I hadn't joined Facebook at all, but now this whole thing is just haunting me... Like, someone should just adopt him as a pet or something... and honestly, I get this nagging feeling that he's just desperately fishing for attention from other girls on there... I don't even know what else to think about it all.

Honestly, I don't think you need to spiral over this just yet.
Just take a breath and try to stay calm. Don't say a word to him until you actually notice some suspicious behavior; only then should you start digging and investigating.
Until that happens, there isn't really a reason to let this consume you.
kissessssssssssssssssss

silentfalcon6 said:Hey everyone...

I’m honestly sitting here just crying my eyes out and I can't seem to catch my breath... My heart is absolutely racing and I just feel so incredibly helpless right now. I don't even know if there's something wrong with me, like maybe it's my own self-esteem or something, but I'm spiraling. So, my boyfriend invited me to join Facebook, and even though I usually hate all that social media stuff, I kind of got sucked into it and ended up reconnecting with some old friends from high school. But then, while I was scrolling through his profile, I saw this poll he posted where people could vote on whether they'd go out with him or not... As I'm typing this, my heart is practically jumping out of my chest. I seriously cannot believe this! And the worst part? Two people actually voted yes. I’m assuming it was just his female friends voting, because you can't participate unless you're on his list and added as a friend.😢...
I mean, like... wtf??? I have no idea if I should even bring this up to him, or ask him straight out if he did this specifically to make me jealous. Part of me wishes I had never even seen it, wished I hadn't joined Facebook at all, but now this whole thing is just haunting me... Like, someone should just adopt him as a pet or something... and honestly, I get this nagging feeling that he's just desperately fishing for attention from other girls on there... I don't even know what else to think about it all.

How much do you actually have?
And how long have you even been using the internet?? ☕

Hey, don't sweat it too much... I guess Facebook is just full of nonsense like that sometimes, so maybe it's best not to let it get to you.

Honestly, it feels like you’re just manufacturing drama out of thin air. And then there's this headline: scam. It seems to me that if you’re feeling this insecure about your relationship, you might want to take a step back. Out of the twenty or so hours a day spent living a real life, where would a genuine "threat" even exist, rather than just some nonsense on Facebook? If these things truly bother you that much, maybe just talk to him—but I suspect he’ll probably find the whole thing pretty baffling.

I didn't start this thread just to hear people tear me down... but I guess it’s way too easy for everyone to jump on a bandwagon and judge someone before actually offering a hand. Honestly, I bet none of you have ever felt truly insecure about yourselves, your relationships, or just life in general. Must be nice! Since this isn't some high school drama forum or a teen section, I’d really appreciate a little bit of basic respect here.
Why do you think I decided to major in psychology? It’s because I’m fully aware that I’m my own biggest problem—that my self-confidence is shot and I can't seem to find a decent therapist to help me through it. But hey, maybe things couldn't get any worse... except they did. My absolute worst fears actually came true. His girlfriend sent him a message on Facebook asking when they were finally going to grab coffee, and he clearly forgot to delete it. He actually admitted to me that he’s already looking for a "backup plan" in case we break up soon. Nice... right?😢I completely lost it. I didn't even say a single word... my heart was just hammering against my ribs so hard and everything started going dark around the edges. And then people have the nerve to tell you that this stuff is harmless... that it's totally normal to play games with people... sure, but where do you draw the line? It looks like my boyfriend has completely forgotten what love even means, if he ever knew it at all. Anyway, thanks to those of you who didn't just chime in to act "cool" or try to insult me with questions like "how old are you?" or "how long have you even been using the internet?" wow... seriously, those comments really helped! Thanks a lot!🙄It feels like there are fewer and fewer people left who actually want to help anyone. Regardless, I don't want this to turn into a massive monologue; I just wanted to say that my gut instinct was right... unfortunately.😢

silentfalcon6..you know better than anyone what kind of dynamic you've got going on with your boyfriend!! I know from experience that I used to constantly buy fake friends and add them just to feel like I actually had people to hang out with, but honestly, it’s all just a joke, just like this whole Facebook thing... why don't you try doing the same and let's see how he reacts 🙂

silentfalcon6 said:I didn't start this thread just to hear people tear me down... but I guess it’s way too easy for everyone to jump on a bandwagon and judge someone before actually offering a hand. Honestly, I bet none of you have ever felt truly insecure about yourselves, your relationships, or just life in general. Must be nice! Since this isn't some high school drama forum or a teen section, I’d really appreciate a little bit of basic respect here.
Why do you think I decided to major in psychology? It’s because I’m fully aware that I’m my own biggest problem—that my self-confidence is shot and I can't seem to find a decent therapist to help me through it. But hey, maybe things couldn't get any worse... except they did. My absolute worst fears actually came true. His girlfriend sent him a message on Facebook asking when they were finally going to grab coffee, and he clearly forgot to delete it. He actually admitted to me that he’s already looking for a "backup plan" in case we break up soon. Nice... right?😢I completely lost it. I didn't even say a single word... my heart was just hammering against my ribs so hard and everything started going dark around the edges. And then people have the nerve to tell you that this stuff is harmless... that it's totally normal to play games with people... sure, but where do you draw the line? It looks like my boyfriend has completely forgotten what love even means, if he ever knew it at all. Anyway, thanks to those of you who didn't just chime in to act "cool" or try to insult me with questions like "how old are you?" or "how long have you even been using the internet?" wow... seriously, those comments really helped! Thanks a lot!🙄It feels like there are fewer and fewer people left who actually want to help anyone. Regardless, I don't want this to turn into a massive monologue; I just wanted to say that my gut instinct was right... unfortunately.😢

Fine, let's pivot the conversation entirely: how old is this guy, seriously?
It's painfully obvious he isn't even remotely ready for anything real, and that’s just the unfortunate truth of it...

And by the way, I didn't post that to prove how much of a riot I am; I was just being honest. I genuinely buy people gifts, give them virtual hugs, and mess around with them online whenever I'm bored 😁, etc., etc. I couldn't care less what their girlfriends (assuming they even have one) think about it. To me, it’s honestly just harmless fun.

Please, grow up.
You really need☕

I suggest you take a second look at your very first post. If you try to step into someone else's shoes for a moment, you might realize how a bit absurd this sounds. What you wrote in your follow-up post is a completely different argument altogether. Just because he had an open Facebook profile doesn't mean he’s planning to cheat or end things. If someone actually intends to be unfaithful, they’ll do it in RL among real people; they don't need the internet for that. Honestly, if this is more about your own self-confidence, maybe you should have started a thread about that instead of making it about a guy messaging other women on social media. How exactly were you planning to handle it? Lock him in the house and never let him leave? If he was going to stray, he would have done it regardless of whether it happened online or not.

[User Profile: žacko1] [Username] says:
Let's be real—people can be pretty nasty. Most folks are ready to stab you in the back at the slightest provocation. Not everyone, obviously. Shout out to the good ones.Just sending out a quick hello to everyone here.).

🤣

silentfalcon6 said:I didn't start this thread just to hear people tear me down... but I guess it’s way too easy for everyone to jump on a bandwagon and judge someone before actually offering a hand. Honestly, I bet none of you have ever felt truly insecure about yourselves, your relationships, or just life in general. Must be nice! Since this isn't some high school drama forum or a teen section, I’d really appreciate a little bit of basic respect here.
Why do you think I decided to major in psychology? It’s because I’m fully aware that I’m my own biggest problem—that my self-confidence is shot and I can't seem to find a decent therapist to help me through it. But hey, maybe things couldn't get any worse... except they did. My absolute worst fears actually came true. His girlfriend sent him a message on Facebook asking when they were finally going to grab coffee, and he clearly forgot to delete it. He actually admitted to me that he’s already looking for a "backup plan" in case we break up soon. Nice... right?😢I completely lost it. I didn't even say a single word... my heart was just hammering against my ribs so hard and everything started going dark around the edges. And then people have the nerve to tell you that this stuff is harmless... that it's totally normal to play games with people... sure, but where do you draw the line? It looks like my boyfriend has completely forgotten what love even means, if he ever knew it at all. Anyway, thanks to those of you who didn't just chime in to act "cool" or try to insult me with questions like "how old are you?" or "how long have you even been using the internet?" wow... seriously, those comments really helped! Thanks a lot!🙄It feels like there are fewer and fewer people left who actually want to help anyone. Regardless, I don't want this to turn into a massive monologue; I just wanted to say that my gut instinct was right... unfortunately.😢

There you go. Always trust your gut. Even when it’s terrifying to do so. 😬

Wait, he's actually asking for a backup? Seriously? 😕 When someone hits you with something that blunt and stupid, it’s more than just a lack of respect. It’s like they assume you don't even respect yourself enough to shut it down. Then again, maybe you're both just too young to be dating anyway. 😉

Look, you clearly need to work on your self-esteem and self-respect if you ever want to find someone who actually values you. It’s like trying to drive a car with a broken engine—you can't get anywhere while you're busy mourning someone who treats you like an afterthought. 😘

Look, I’m sorry, but I have to say—this whole Facebook situation you're dealing with is honestly kind of funny. Don't get me wrong, I totally get where you're coming from. I struggle with my own insecurities all the time—especially after any little argument with my boyfriend, or whenever he mentions something is bothering him. My brain immediately goes straight to: "That's it. This is the end." I start spiraling, thinking there are just more things pushing him away than pulling him in, and that one more tiny mistake will be the breaking point.
Please, don't kill yourself over Facebook. If it's causing this much stress, just step away from it entirely. I'm not sure what else to tell you, really—just try to focus on the small signs that show he actually cares about you. Every time your mind drifts back to Facebook or those petty little details, try to consciously swap them out for something positive.
Being realistic here—if you hadn't even joined Facebook in the first place, would you even be the type to go around liking a random guy's photo or voting for who looks hot or cute? I mean, if you're willing to vote for a complete stranger just because of a profile picture, you're definitely going to do the same for people you actually know.
I guess what I should actually say is... my anniversary is coming up soon, and his status on Facebook still says "Single"—and like, 80% of his friends are women!

Alright, I just finished reading the second post.

A guy who tells you he’s already looking for a backup plan in case you two break up deserves two things:

either you never speak to him again—

or you tell him exactly how you feel about it.

😠

silentfalcon6 said:I didn't start this thread just to hear people tear me down... but I guess it’s way too easy for everyone to jump on a bandwagon and judge someone before actually offering a hand. Honestly, I bet none of you have ever felt truly insecure about yourselves, your relationships, or just life in general. Must be nice! Since this isn't some high school drama forum or a teen section, I’d really appreciate a little bit of basic respect here.
Why do you think I decided to major in psychology? It’s because I’m fully aware that I’m my own biggest problem—that my self-confidence is shot and I can't seem to find a decent therapist to help me through it. But hey, maybe things couldn't get any worse... except they did. My absolute worst fears actually came true. His girlfriend sent him a message on Facebook asking when they were finally going to grab coffee, and he clearly forgot to delete it. He actually admitted to me that he’s already looking for a "backup plan" in case we break up soon. Nice... right?😢I completely lost it. I didn't even say a single word... my heart was just hammering against my ribs so hard and everything started going dark around the edges. And then people have the nerve to tell you that this stuff is harmless... that it's totally normal to play games with people... sure, but where do you draw the line? It looks like my boyfriend has completely forgotten what love even means, if he ever knew it at all. Anyway, thanks to those of you who didn't just chime in to act "cool" or try to insult me with questions like "how old are you?" or "how long have you even been using the internet?" wow... seriously, those comments really helped! Thanks a lot!🙄It feels like there are fewer and fewer people left who actually want to help anyone. Regardless, I don't want this to turn into a massive monologue; I just wanted to say that my gut instinct was right... unfortunately.😢

One should always heed their intuition—it is perhaps your most valuable asset 🙂.
There is a massive difference between mere "flirting" and actual infidelity, and your instinct is what allows you to distinguish between the two.

I found myself in a strikingly similar position once. My ex would shout at me, insisting I was being irrational for feeling jealous when I confronted him about his "harmless" online flirting with some girl. His explosive reaction was the immediate red flag that told me I had intuitively sensed something deeply wrong. 😁
It didn't take long for the truth to surface, yet he expected me to sit idly by while he weighed his options and decided which woman suited him better before making a final call.
I "assisted" him in reaching that decision by opting for an immediate breakup just a week after that conversation. 🙂

Never regret following your intuition. Not once.
Even if a situation appears catastrophic in the moment, time eventually proves that decisions rooted in instinct are incredibly productive in the long run. 😉

The difficulty lies solely in learning how to differentiate instinct from raw emotion or pure logic. Emotions and reason are merely the surface manifestations of internal or external stimuli triggered by that core intuition. People often mistake the two; they become swept up in temporary feelings or over-rationalization and make the "wrong" decision, believing they are acting on instinct. They end up regretting it later. In my view, it is far better to make a "wrong" decision than to remain paralyzed and do nothing at all.

redmarlin3 said:I’ve basically bought all my friends as pets 😕 And I swear on my life, I am not cheating on any of them.
It’s just perfectly natural that if you asked, I’d say I want to go out with every single one of them. Even though, realistically, I wouldn't.

I don't buy them
even if a few of them are actually quite cheap.
🙂