How do you deal with people who just don't like you?

Joshua Carter97 said:But what’s actually wrong with that? Why does it get under your skin so much? I know I tend to over-apologize—I'm fully aware of it—but I just feel terrible whenever someone gets angry with me. Wouldn't you consider the possibility that the person actually has good intentions?
Sometimes my own behavior reminds me of a stray dog looking for a home, only to get kicked away instead. I have this nagging feeling that being defensive just triggers aggression in others, though I can never quite wrap my head around why.
I just don't feel strong enough to stand my ground and show some teeth.

And there you have it, ☕
classic. Why does it rub me the wrong way? Because I'm a high-strung person, plain and simple.😁
Actually, if I'm being totally honest, I think I'm just a little jealous of the people who know how to kiss up to everyone. I don't get it—all that maneuvering and sugarcoating everything. 🤷 I tend to hurt people's feelings too often, so they usually give me a wide berth. Meanwhile, I'm sitting here watching this endless parade of sycophants who are treated like royalty and have tons of "friends," even though most of them would love nothing more than to tear those friends apart at the very first opportunity.

Joshua Carter97 said:But what’s actually wrong with that? Why does it get under your skin so much? I know I tend to over-apologize—I'm fully aware of it—but I just feel terrible whenever someone gets angry with me. Wouldn't you consider the possibility that the person actually has good intentions?
Sometimes my own behavior reminds me of a stray dog looking for a home, only to get kicked away instead. I have this nagging feeling that being defensive just triggers aggression in others, though I can never quite wrap my head around why.
I just don't feel strong enough to stand my ground and show some teeth.

😢

Joshua Carter97 said:But what’s actually wrong with that? Why does it get under your skin so much? I know I tend to over-apologize—I'm fully aware of it—but I just feel terrible whenever someone gets angry with me. Wouldn't you consider the possibility that the person actually has good intentions?
Sometimes my own behavior reminds me of a stray dog looking for a home, only to get kicked away instead. I have this nagging feeling that being defensive just triggers aggression in others, though I can never quite wrap my head around why.
I just don't feel strong enough to stand my ground and show some teeth.

Your intuition isn't lying to you! People rarely pick fights with someone stronger than them. It’s likely your coworkers are dealing with their own baggage, and you're just an easy target to vent on because they know you won't bite back.

Joshua Carter97 said:But what’s actually wrong with that? Why does it get under your skin so much? I know I tend to over-apologize—I'm fully aware of it—but I just feel terrible whenever someone gets angry with me. Wouldn't you consider the possibility that the person actually has good intentions?
Sometimes my own behavior reminds me of a stray dog looking for a home, only to get kicked away instead. I have this nagging feeling that being defensive just triggers aggression in others, though I can never quite wrap my head around why.
I just don't feel strong enough to stand my ground and show some teeth.

The first time is always the hardest! Just dig deep, find some courage, and give it a shot. You'll see it feels pretty good once you do... just try not to make it your entire personality.😁

Unfortunately, today’s leadership is nothing but a bunch of yes-men. I mean, it’s always been this way, but now it’s reached a whole new level.
A lot of them just put on a fake face for when they get home, and honestly, I can't stand that kind of hypocrisy...
If you aren't naturally aggressive, people treat it like some kind of character flaw, and well, screw that...
It feels like the standards have become completely twisted lately—it's all about being "likable" while ignoring what actually matters in the end. Anyone can be a boss these days, so it's no wonder everything is a mess...

Joshua Carter97 said:In principle, that’s exactly how it works, unfortunately. I’m mostly being targeted by a mid-level manager who’s terrified of losing his job. He plays nice with the executives, so I’m not exactly holding my breath for any sense of justice... basically, it’s constant undermining against me and a few others, obviously. And I have to deal with him every single day. If I try to play nice, it doesn't work because he won't fall for those tactics; if I keep my distance, I'm immediately labeled as "arrogant" or told "how dare a junior employee act this way," which leads to an immediate complaint to upper management. I honestly just wish he would get off my back, because there isn't even a logical reason for him to feel this way or act like this.
A handful of people don't like me—that manager and two or three others. It’s not a crowd, but it's enough to make every day a struggle. 😢

Ugh, man, that sucks. 😁
At every job I've ever had, there's always at least one person who straight-up despises me, plus a handful of others who just aren't fans. Honestly? I think that's a pretty decent score. 😁
Especially when I look at the sheer number of people I can't stand myself. It wouldn't really be fair if everyone loved me while I felt the same way about half the population. 😁

Btw, yeah. This whole thing is pure "abandoned puppy" energy. Seriously. If you aren't acting like an abandoned puppy, you're doing it wrong. And yeah, it would piss me off too. Why? I don't know.
Just pick a side and stand your ground, for crying out loud. If someone's getting under your skin, handle it properly. If *you're* the one making someone else's blood boil, don't go crawling after them. Just ignore them as much as humanly possible. You don't need extra drama at the office. 😉

Besides, you can't force anyone to like you (trust me, I've tried).

Joshua Carter97 said:In principle, that’s exactly how it works, unfortunately. I’m mostly being targeted by a mid-level manager who’s terrified of losing his job. He plays nice with the executives, so I’m not exactly holding my breath for any sense of justice... basically, it’s constant undermining against me and a few others, obviously. And I have to deal with him every single day. If I try to play nice, it doesn't work because he won't fall for those tactics; if I keep my distance, I'm immediately labeled as "arrogant" or told "how dare a junior employee act this way," which leads to an immediate complaint to upper management. I honestly just wish he would get off my back, because there isn't even a logical reason for him to feel this way or act like this.
A handful of people don't like me—that manager and two or three others. It’s not a crowd, but it's enough to make every day a struggle. 😢

A manager who's tight with the owners isn't worried about his job
that doesn't really make sense to me🙄
A manager who's tight with the owners has a secure position😁

Joshua Carter97 said:In principle, that’s exactly how it works, unfortunately. I’m mostly being targeted by a mid-level manager who’s terrified of losing his job. He plays nice with the executives, so I’m not exactly holding my breath for any sense of justice... basically, it’s constant undermining against me and a few others, obviously. And I have to deal with him every single day. If I try to play nice, it doesn't work because he won't fall for those tactics; if I keep my distance, I'm immediately labeled as "arrogant" or told "how dare a junior employee act this way," which leads to an immediate complaint to upper management. I honestly just wish he would get off my back, because there isn't even a logical reason for him to feel this way or act like this.
A handful of people don't like me—that manager and two or three others. It’s not a crowd, but it's enough to make every day a struggle. 😢

A manager who's on good terms with the owners wouldn't be worried about his position.
That sentence doesn't really make sense to me.🙄
A manager who's close with the owners actually has a secure position.😁

Alright, let me clarify my point. When I say he’s "good," I mean they trust his judgment, though there isn't any deep-seated personal or family connection involved. As for what he's afraid of? He's constantly worried about being replaced by the next generation—those younger, sharper, more innovative types who come along ready to outshine him. Of course, that fear is entirely irrational.

Joshua Carter97 said:I frequently find myself in a situation where people either absolutely adore me or can't stand my guts... which is perfectly fine in my personal life, but I'm struggling with how to handle it professionally. It’s honestly pretty disheartening to discover that there are several colleagues who would much rather I didn't work with them anymore. 😢

Why do you even care if they like you?

:clap:so you found his Achilles' heel. we finally figured out why he doesn't like you
why wouldn't that fear of his be legitimate? you're young, maybe even more capable... who knows? maybe his hesitation is justified. maybe you'll eventually replace him. who's to say you won't be the boss one day?

did the manager hire you, or was it the owners?
are you working for a small startup or a massive corporation?