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Help a girl out!

Started by George Garcia9 · · 👁 3 views · 31 replies

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Participants George Garcia9Sean Nguyen4Keith Fowler43David Nelson74silentpuma2driftingorca13Hannah MooreGeorge Smith2velvetriderslyowl96Gregory Fox69Kimberly Ruiz84Olivia Chase2Linda BaileyKenneth Harris4Eric Kern42Michael Scott12
George Garcia9 George Garcia9 MemberOP
49 messages
joined Sep 2007
#1 ·
Hey, I’ve posted on this forum before, but I’ll recap briefly. I’ve been diagnosed with anxiety, depression, and an eating disorder. I'm 22, a sophomore in college, and my family situation—specifically with my father—is probably 70% of why I'm such a wreck (the rest I attribute to genetics and a fried brain)...

Between the chaos at home and my mental health, I have absolutely tanked this semester. I've missed so much class that I don't even know if I'll get all my credits signed off by the Registrar's Office. I haven't passed a single one of my six exams. I’m supposed to go try to take at least two next week, but honestly, I don't even know if I have the willpower. I actually love what I'm studying, but I HATE COLLEGE. I hate being there. My sleep is a mess, so I skip lectures because I can't fall asleep until late and end up sleeping through the morning.

Last year, I finally hit a breaking point and took a gap year. I started seeing a psychiatrist, but it didn't do anything. She put me on Sulpiride (useless), Sanval, and Normabal for sleep, but none of it works either. I stopped seeing her because there was zero progress. I really should find a new psychiatrist and start seeing a psychologist... but I've lost faith that anyone can actually help me. I just don't have the energy. I don't want to talk to anyone anymore because nobody understands me, nobody takes me seriously, and nobody gets what I'm talking about (I know, sounds pathetic 😁 ). I just want everyone to leave me alone so I can just exist until I die or get hit by a car or something.

Because of the family issues, we even tried family therapy, but I'm done with that too because I don't believe anything will change. My old man is an idiot. He’s fine and acting normal most of the time, but a few times a year he just snaps, loses it, and makes life miserable for all of us. It isn't physical, but there's always the possibility he might turn violent in a rage; there have been scenes where he was chasing my mom around the house, and in the last "episode," he almost got into a physical fight with my brother.

I used drugs back in high school, then I quit, but lately, I've started again. I've also started drinking. I constantly think about and plan suicide because I'm just done with this life of depression and the constant guilt over food. It's not anorexia, per se, but rather periods where I binge, followed by periods where I only drink juice. Basically, I just hate myself whenever I eat anything.

Anyway... I don't believe anyone can help me anymore. I've reached my limit and I want to drop out of college because I'm clearly incapable of finishing. I have zero motivation and I feel like a total failure.

I just want to move away (I have no idea where) and find a job (I don't know what kind since I only have a high school diploma). I just want to run away from everything when I clearly don't even have the will to help myself, yet I don't have the guts to kill myself (for now).

Does anyone have advice on where to find a job (that isn't waiting tables, lol) and an apartment? I know, I'm asking for the impossible 😛

Thanks a lot 🙂
Sean Nguyen4 Sean Nguyen4 Active Member
183 messages
joined Sep 2007
#2 ·
Maybe you should just try bartending or something. Just to snap out of this funk and actually get moving. 😉
Keith Fowler43 Keith Fowler43 Member
27 messages
joined Feb 2008
#3 ·
George Garcia9 said:Hey, I’ve posted on this forum before, but I’ll recap briefly. I’ve been diagnosed with anxiety, depression, and an eating disorder. I'm 22, a sophomore in college, and my family situation—specifically with my father—is probably 70% of why I'm such a wreck (the rest I attribute to genetics and a fried brain)...

Between the chaos at home and my mental health, I have absolutely tanked this semester. I've missed so much class that I don't even know if I'll get all my credits signed off by the Registrar's Office. I haven't passed a single one of my six exams. I’m supposed to go try to take at least two next week, but honestly, I don't even know if I have the willpower. I actually love what I'm studying, but I HATE COLLEGE. I hate being there. My sleep is a mess, so I skip lectures because I can't fall asleep until late and end up sleeping through the morning.

Last year, I finally hit a breaking point and took a gap year. I started seeing a psychiatrist, but it didn't do anything. She put me on Sulpiride (useless), Sanval, and Normabal for sleep, but none of it works either. I stopped seeing her because there was zero progress. I really should find a new psychiatrist and start seeing a psychologist... but I've lost faith that anyone can actually help me. I just don't have the energy. I don't want to talk to anyone anymore because nobody understands me, nobody takes me seriously, and nobody gets what I'm talking about (I know, sounds pathetic 😁 ). I just want everyone to leave me alone so I can just exist until I die or get hit by a car or something.

Because of the family issues, we even tried family therapy, but I'm done with that too because I don't believe anything will change. My old man is an idiot. He’s fine and acting normal most of the time, but a few times a year he just snaps, loses it, and makes life miserable for all of us. It isn't physical, but there's always the possibility he might turn violent in a rage; there have been scenes where he was chasing my mom around the house, and in the last "episode," he almost got into a physical fight with my brother.

I used drugs back in high school, then I quit, but lately, I've started again. I've also started drinking. I constantly think about and plan suicide because I'm just done with this life of depression and the constant guilt over food. It's not anorexia, per se, but rather periods where I binge, followed by periods where I only drink juice. Basically, I just hate myself whenever I eat anything.

Anyway... I don't believe anyone can help me anymore. I've reached my limit and I want to drop out of college because I'm clearly incapable of finishing. I have zero motivation and I feel like a total failure.

I just want to move away (I have no idea where) and find a job (I don't know what kind since I only have a high school diploma). I just want to run away from everything when I clearly don't even have the will to help myself, yet I don't have the guts to kill myself (for now).

Does anyone have advice on where to find a job (that isn't waiting tables, lol) and an apartment? I know, I'm asking for the impossible 😛

Thanks a lot 🙂

I was in the exact same boat once, so I really do understand how you feel! Because of my own tough financial situation and those same mental hurdles, I ended up walking away from college altogether; meanwhile, I was busy getting settled into a new career path. My advice to you would be to consider withdrawing and starting to write some brand-new, positive chapters in your life instead.

George Garcia9 said:Hey, I’ve posted on this forum before, but I’ll recap briefly. I’ve been diagnosed with anxiety, depression, and an eating disorder. I'm 22, a sophomore in college, and my family situation—specifically with my father—is probably 70% of why I'm such a wreck (the rest I attribute to genetics and a fried brain)...

Between the chaos at home and my mental health, I have absolutely tanked this semester. I've missed so much class that I don't even know if I'll get all my credits signed off by the Registrar's Office. I haven't passed a single one of my six exams. I’m supposed to go try to take at least two next week, but honestly, I don't even know if I have the willpower. I actually love what I'm studying, but I HATE COLLEGE. I hate being there. My sleep is a mess, so I skip lectures because I can't fall asleep until late and end up sleeping through the morning.

Last year, I finally hit a breaking point and took a gap year. I started seeing a psychiatrist, but it didn't do anything. She put me on Sulpiride (useless), Sanval, and Normabal for sleep, but none of it works either. I stopped seeing her because there was zero progress. I really should find a new psychiatrist and start seeing a psychologist... but I've lost faith that anyone can actually help me. I just don't have the energy. I don't want to talk to anyone anymore because nobody understands me, nobody takes me seriously, and nobody gets what I'm talking about (I know, sounds pathetic 😁 ). I just want everyone to leave me alone so I can just exist until I die or get hit by a car or something.

Because of the family issues, we even tried family therapy, but I'm done with that too because I don't believe anything will change. My old man is an idiot. He’s fine and acting normal most of the time, but a few times a year he just snaps, loses it, and makes life miserable for all of us. It isn't physical, but there's always the possibility he might turn violent in a rage; there have been scenes where he was chasing my mom around the house, and in the last "episode," he almost got into a physical fight with my brother.

I used drugs back in high school, then I quit, but lately, I've started again. I've also started drinking. I constantly think about and plan suicide because I'm just done with this life of depression and the constant guilt over food. It's not anorexia, per se, but rather periods where I binge, followed by periods where I only drink juice. Basically, I just hate myself whenever I eat anything.

Anyway... I don't believe anyone can help me anymore. I've reached my limit and I want to drop out of college because I'm clearly incapable of finishing. I have zero motivation and I feel like a total failure.

I just want to move away (I have no idea where) and find a job (I don't know what kind since I only have a high school diploma). I just want to run away from everything when I clearly don't even have the will to help myself, yet I don't have the guts to kill myself (for now).

Does anyone have advice on where to find a job (that isn't waiting tables, lol) and an apartment? I know, I'm asking for the impossible 😛

Thanks a lot 🙂

Listen, you can't do everything all at once! First, just focus on finding a job. Luckily, they are out there; you just have to track one down. Walk around town, check the local listings, and if you stay persistent, I promise you will find something. 😉 Have you tried looking through the Registrar's Office? It might just be temporary, but you'll gain some experience and save up a little cash; and with a bit of luck, maybe they'll even offer you a permanent position (I know it's a long shot, but it happens!).

Maybe try picking up a hobby or a skill that could actually serve you later in life—like something computer-related? You can learn all sorts of software online, and it could be a huge asset while you're searching for a career. Once you land a job, start saving up for an apartment. Once you feel secure in your new role, you can add a little more to your savings after a certain amount of time to help with a security deposit or rent.

See, you've already set your own goals: an apartment, a job, essentially escaping your old life. If you were able to endure it for all these years, surely you can hang in there just a little longer? If you stay determined and patient, you really can achieve everything you've set out to do.

Sean Nguyen4 said:Maybe you should just try bartending or something. Just to snap out of this funk and actually get moving. 😉

Given her struggle with anxiety and depression, wouldn't the absolute last thing she needs be working as a waitress in the middle of some rowdy, drunken crowd where guys might try to grab at her or just act like total creeps? You know how many idiots are out there, right? Besides, she already made it clear she isn't interested in waitressing anyway. 🙂
David Nelson74 David Nelson74 Active Member
85 messages
joined Apr 2007
#4 ·
Maybe try handing out flyers at the local community college near $6.75 during class breaks. You can find plenty of listings on Craigslist. Also, check out Indeed; there are tons of job openings there that don't require a specific degree or certification.

Are you avoiding waitressing because of anxiety disorders—too much social interaction—or do you just feel like it's beneath you?
silentpuma2 silentpuma2 Newcomer
1 message
joined Feb 2008
#5 ·
I honestly think I have some solid advice for you!!! Please don't give up on college, even if it feels like you'll be studying for a hundred years. It’ll all pay off in the end, trust me—I've been there. My suggestion? Try to balance working and studying, just take it one step at a time. Once you hit your thirties (or maybe even sooner!) and land a good job with a decent paycheck, believe me, you'll have so much more freedom to manage your anxiety and depression.
Maybe check out the local papers for openings; even something simple like a night shift at a print shop or filing articles can work. Or look into seasonal jobs that pay well—sometimes getting active with physical labor actually helps clear your head. You could even consider moving somewhere new for work, like finding a gig in a big tourist hub!
As for the mental health side of things, since you haven't had the best luck with therapists... try visiting a local GP and ask specifically for Calixt. If you look closely at my username, you'll see just how much she helped me get through my own rough patches 🙂 . And please, stay away from drugs!!!! A little bit of alcohol now and then to unwind is fine, but drugs? No way!!!

And hey, you aren't crazy!!!!
driftingorca13 driftingorca13 Member
22 messages
joined Jan 2008
#6 ·
I pretty much agree with everything mentioned in the previous post... 😁 But first off: you aren't crazy! Secondly: if there is any way at all, please finish your degree! Even if it takes a few extra years, it’s almost always worth the investment. You could always look into part-time or online programs while picking up a side hustle—like layout work for a local newspaper, where people can make about $8.25 an hour! You didn't mention what your major is.
If you aren't seeing anyone right now, definitely try to find someone who actually understands and respects you.
Regarding Calixt, I stopped taking it because I felt like it made me too drowsy. 😁

And one last thing: drugs are out! And cigarettes too: they're just a bottomless pit!!! All you'll do is sacrifice your HEALTH! and waste piles of cash....

Best of luck!
Hannah Moore Hannah Moore Newcomer
6 messages
joined Feb 2008
#7 ·
Whether you're working or not is honestly secondary right now; your absolute top priority has to be getting yourself together, chilling out, and actually treating that anxiety, depression, and eating disorder... Seriously, I think it would be way more important for you to hunt down a doctor or a psychiatrist who actually gets you and can provide some real help. Once you’ve finally reached a healthier, calmer headspace, then—and only then—should you even bother deciding whether you want to hit the books or find a job.

You say you actually love your major, but you just hate the idea of "showing up." But let's be real: what you actually hate is realizing you don't have the focus, the grit, the discipline, or any decent study habits left... And honestly, all of that probably started spiraling back in high school when you mentioned the drug use. It takes a massive amount of time to get everything back to a functional baseline. Still, the fact that you actually care about your studies should be enough motivation to try and get back to campus once you've got some psychological support in place—you know, to prove to yourself that you're actually capable of learning again.

And look, I really don't think you should give up on family therapy, but hey, everything takes time to work through.
Do yourself a favor and do some digging; try to find a truly solid psychologist or psychiatrist who fits your needs.

I'm genuinely worried that if you just jump from one random part-time gig to another, you're just going to end up fragmenting your life even more. You'll constantly be beating yourself up for dropping out of college, years will slip through your fingers, and later on, it might be ten times harder to go back. Plus, what kind of long-term career prospects are you actually building with those odd jobs? Just something to chew on.

So, bottom line: first, focus on recovery—dedicate yourself to your health, your mental peace, and getting well—and then, naturally, you can worry about making progress at school.
George Garcia9 George Garcia9 MemberOP
49 messages
joined Sep 2007
#8 ·
David Nelson74 said:Maybe try handing out flyers at the local community college near $6.75 during class breaks. You can find plenty of listings on Craigslist. Also, check out Indeed; there are tons of job openings there that don't require a specific degree or certification.

Are you avoiding waitressing because of anxiety disorders—too much social interaction—or do you just feel like it's beneath you?

It’s not beneath me, lol. I tried waiting tables for about two weeks and I was just terrible at it. 😛I can't balance myself when walking, I'm clumsy with a tray, and my mental math is trash—I can't handle calculating change on the fly. 😁

Thanks for all the input, everyone. 🙂I'm still pretty lost and honestly have no clue what my next move should be... we'll see.....
George Smith2 George Smith2 Member
12 messages
joined May 2007
#9 ·
Look, I can relate to quite a few things being said here—well, everything except the diet stuff. My dad is an absolute saint, truly, but other things just... they broke me. It was a mess. We're talking deep sadness, depression, clinical anxiety, the whole depressing spectrum...

I wasn't interested in pills or any of that nonsense. In my head, "brain chemistry" medication was just something for sixteen-year-olds trying to act cool at parties, so I completely brushed off anything involving a psychiatric prescription.

I managed to grind through half a year of college. My grades were stellar, though I’ll admit I skipped class constantly because I stay up way too late—and if I don't get to sleep, I just sit there wallowing until I wake up looking like a total monster the next morning. Every now and then, I’d treat myself to some sort of "human interaction" just to keep my head above water until I could actually finish my degree.

Anyway, at one point I just told myself—"Alright, kid, pull it together however you can." So, armed with a useless degree, I packed up and moved to a different city for three months to work as a waitress—something I had never done before, and frankly, I always thought service work was the absolute bottom of the barrel—in a Go-go club. 😲
Night shifts mean no time for crying; during the day, you're either sleeping or out shopping because you're flush with cash.
And let me tell you, the money was incredible.
The crowd was... well, it was definitely different from what I grew up with. But anything new and strange is inherently fascinating and keeps your mind occupied, whether it's good or bad... the main thing is that you aren't dwelling on the things you shouldn't be thinking about.
For those three months, I lived like royalty. I felt great; that massive change of scenery was exactly what I needed.
Honestly? Best move of the year.

I would never dream of working in a dive bar. But if you want fast cash, a way to drown out the depression, a confidence boost, and a shot of adrenaline to jumpstart your life —go wait tables in a Go-go club.
And if you find a classy spot, man, my place was top-tier—the kind of place that's hard to find. If you manage to land a gig like that, just go for it; don't overthink it. You need to be fit—muscle, maybe a little tone—because in most other jobs, people might just touch you, but here, it's part of the gig. For someone in my position, the last thing I needed was some soul-crushing office job or something mind-numbingly boring.
Just go stack that cash while the girls are dancing 👍

I'm doing great now. Sure, there are better days and worse days, but I've pushed all that baggage aside and put enjoyment and novelty front and center in my life.
Everything else... none of that matters. What mattered was finding myself again and making sure I was okay. Once you handle that, everything else falls into place easily.
Good luck😘
George Smith2 George Smith2 Member
12 messages
joined May 2007
#10 ·
George Garcia9 said:It’s not beneath me, lol. I tried waiting tables for about two weeks and I was just terrible at it. 😛I can't balance myself when walking, I'm clumsy with a tray, and my mental math is trash—I can't handle calculating change on the fly. 😁

Thanks for all the input, everyone. 🙂I'm still pretty lost and honestly have no clue what my next move should be... we'll see.....

If you don't know what something is, you just say, "I'm not sure if we have another bottle, let me check..."—and then you sprint back to the bar to ask the bartender, "Hey, do you know what an Istria Biter is?"🤔 If they don't know (and they always know😉), then sorry—we're out.

You're such a girl. There is nothing more endearing than watching some tiny, delicate, fragile little waitress try to carry a tray with both hands—and if the table is too low, she practically has to kneel on the floor just to set it down. People will probably end up $33 stuffing cash in your pocket just so you can go buy some dumbbells for your arms or go get a massage tomorrow because you're obviously suffering😉.

In a Go-go club, nobody deals with small change.
I don't have any. And amen to that.
Nobody ever told me—go find some change.
Still, it is a Go-go club; people come there specifically to show off in front of the girls. Nobody is asking for loose coins.😉

The only real question is how you feel about being grabbed on the backside, but let me tell you, in three months, I haven't had a single—not ONE—uncomfortable experience, or anyone getting handsy with me or anything like that. Mind you, I'm pretty outgoing, I know how to handle all sorts of personalities, and I even had two security guys looking out for me.😍

All in all... definitely my recommendation.
I actually cried when I went in for the interview for this job because I was so stressed. But it paid off!

All this chatter like—"Oh, live your life, reach your full potential, go out, socialize..."—clearly whoever says that has never experienced having "no life." The whole point of a job like this is precisely that your job is to be out there, among people, communicating, moving around, having experiences. Your job is to be present. When your friends call you to hang out, it's easy for them to say, "Nah, I don't feel like going tonight..." But when it's your job...🙂 You're forced to do it even when you don't want to.

And another benefit: if you're a night owl and you already go to bed late anyway... you switch to the nocturnal schedule real fast.
By 6 AM, you're done; you head out for breakfast sandwiches and pity those poor souls who are just waking up at that hour to drag themselves to work like zombies. Then, you either head to class for a bit, or you keep the party going with the crew for coffee, breakfast, or drinks until noon—one, two... (because for your body, that's basically your afternoon)—then you nap in the afternoon and you're back at it by midnight.🤷

You get the best parts of the day—the morning is the healthy, happy part, while the depressing night is used perfectly. You sleep through those boring afternoon soap operas and you won't regret a thing.
velvetrider velvetrider Active Member
52 messages
joined Aug 2009
#11 ·
George Garcia9 said:It’s not beneath me, lol. I tried waiting tables for about two weeks and I was just terrible at it. 😛I can't balance myself when walking, I'm clumsy with a tray, and my mental math is trash—I can't handle calculating change on the fly. 😁

Thanks for all the input, everyone. 🙂I'm still pretty lost and honestly have no clue what my next move should be... we'll see.....

Stay
Maybe if there’s a way to sit down with the old man—you know, being careful and taking it slow—you might find whatever it is that’s actually triggering his frustration. If you can make him realize he's actually needed... well, if not, then just stay stubborn about your independence. University life basically demands persistence and nothing else.
slyowl96 slyowl96 Newcomer
3 messages
joined Feb 2008
#12 ·
George Smith2 said:Look, I can relate to quite a few things being said here—well, everything except the diet stuff. My dad is an absolute saint, truly, but other things just... they broke me. It was a mess. We're talking deep sadness, depression, clinical anxiety, the whole depressing spectrum...

I wasn't interested in pills or any of that nonsense. In my head, "brain chemistry" medication was just something for sixteen-year-olds trying to act cool at parties, so I completely brushed off anything involving a psychiatric prescription.

I managed to grind through half a year of college. My grades were stellar, though I’ll admit I skipped class constantly because I stay up way too late—and if I don't get to sleep, I just sit there wallowing until I wake up looking like a total monster the next morning. Every now and then, I’d treat myself to some sort of "human interaction" just to keep my head above water until I could actually finish my degree.

Anyway, at one point I just told myself—"Alright, kid, pull it together however you can." So, armed with a useless degree, I packed up and moved to a different city for three months to work as a waitress—something I had never done before, and frankly, I always thought service work was the absolute bottom of the barrel—in a Go-go club. 😲
Night shifts mean no time for crying; during the day, you're either sleeping or out shopping because you're flush with cash.
And let me tell you, the money was incredible.
The crowd was... well, it was definitely different from what I grew up with. But anything new and strange is inherently fascinating and keeps your mind occupied, whether it's good or bad... the main thing is that you aren't dwelling on the things you shouldn't be thinking about.
For those three months, I lived like royalty. I felt great; that massive change of scenery was exactly what I needed.
Honestly? Best move of the year.

I would never dream of working in a dive bar. But if you want fast cash, a way to drown out the depression, a confidence boost, and a shot of adrenaline to jumpstart your life —go wait tables in a Go-go club.
And if you find a classy spot, man, my place was top-tier—the kind of place that's hard to find. If you manage to land a gig like that, just go for it; don't overthink it. You need to be fit—muscle, maybe a little tone—because in most other jobs, people might just touch you, but here, it's part of the gig. For someone in my position, the last thing I needed was some soul-crushing office job or something mind-numbingly boring.
Just go stack that cash while the girls are dancing 👍

I'm doing great now. Sure, there are better days and worse days, but I've pushed all that baggage aside and put enjoyment and novelty front and center in my life.
Everything else... none of that matters. What mattered was finding myself again and making sure I was okay. Once you handle that, everything else falls into place easily.
Good luck😘

come on
don't
be
George Smith2 George Smith2 Member
12 messages
joined May 2007
#13 ·
slyowl96 said:come on
don't
be


The absolute truth—every single word of it.
It worked perfectly for me, so why on earth wouldn't it work for her?🤷
slyowl96 slyowl96 Newcomer
3 messages
joined Feb 2008
#14 ·
George Smith2 said:The absolute truth—every single word of it.
It worked perfectly for me, so why on earth wouldn't it work for her?🤷

Total nonsense.
I think you're just messing with a poor girl.
Gregory Fox69 Gregory Fox69 Newcomer
1 message
joined Feb 2008
#15 ·
Whatever you decide, just move... It doesn't matter what, as long as you aren't sitting at home pitying your own miserable fate. That won't help anyone... Besides, who actually ends it at 22? Come on... don't let them win. Don't be foolish enough to let this situation break you... it isn't worth it. You have your own life to live, not one lived through your father's eyes. Get moving and find a job; it's the only way to get away from all that. Why drop out of college? Use that insomnia to your advantage... you can work and study at the same time if you have to. Or, if you don't want both, pick a job or school... though that's for you to figure out. Just sit down and breathe deeply... in the end, you're the one designing your own destiny. Go-go! Just start...
Kimberly Ruiz84 Kimberly Ruiz84 Newcomer
3 messages
joined Feb 2008
#16 ·
Look, I’ve been reading through some of your previous posts. I went through my own eating disorder, too—it lasted about three or four years. It came with depression and self-loathing; I felt responsible for everything and just ate myself alive from the inside out. After years of basically spinning my wheels, I finally saw a psychiatrist a year ago (I'm 23, by the way). They diagnosed me with anxiety, which eventually turned into anxiety and depression. College isn't going well for me either. This semester has been a total disaster. Every single day feels like a new battle, over and over again. I'm exhausted. I can't find the drive to study, and honestly, the thought of studying just fills me with dread. Just like you, I sleep late. Actually, sleeping is the only time things feel okay, because then I don't have to face how empty I feel. I recently started antidepressants; maybe they'll trigger some kind of endorphin response. But they aren't a cure-all. They just grease the wheels, but you still have to do the driving yourself. My advice? Keep driving, even if it's a struggle for a while. Better days will come. Patience is everything.
George Garcia9 George Garcia9 MemberOP
49 messages
joined Sep 2007
#17 ·
@George Smith2, you really set the mood with that story 🙂 I'm glad it worked for you, sounds like a blast! If everything else goes to hell, maybe I'll give it a shot too :P

@Kimberly Ruiz84, what antidepressants are you on? The only thing keeping me sane regarding college is the thought that (theoretically) if I actually start feeling better (by some miracle), I can dive straight into studying the second semester the moment it starts. Then I'll crush everything from the second semester once the term ends, leaving my whole summer free to study for the retakes and finally clear this first semester mess..
Which exam did you take?
And sorry, I have to ask—I’ve never actually met a guy dealing with an eating disorder (it's always been mostly girls..), so if you don't mind sharing, how did it manifest for you and how are you doing now?

Guys, please just don't tell me to "pull myself together." I'm allergic to that advice because it feels like people assume I'm just being lazy, when in reality, things are genuinely heavy inside, just like George Smith2 said.. "clearly whoever says that has never felt like they just don't want to live anymore."

Kisses to everyone <3
Kimberly Ruiz84 Kimberly Ruiz84 Newcomer
3 messages
joined Feb 2008
#18 ·
I'm taking some Citallon, though I'm no expert on pharmaceuticals. I can't seem to start studying; I just get this wave of dread and anxiety. It feels like I haven't cleared all the mental clutter, yet I'm expected to sit there and focus on equations. When I try to study, it feels like thirty minutes of pure, superhuman effort just to stay focused while my mind wanders everywhere.
Eating isn't an issue anymore. I dealt with that disorder toward the end of high school and during my early college years—about three or four years total. I was just using food to fill the void and combat boredom. It wasn't bulimia or anorexia; if I recall, you mentioned you don't struggle with those either. I just felt like bingeing was the only way to cope with everything. Once life started piling on responsibilities I didn't particularly enjoy, I still handled them regularly, and gradually, my brain stopped relying on overeating as a crutch. There were days when I’d binge uncontrollably and then not eat for the next two days, but I moved past it slowly. Don't set massive goals right out of the gate. Honestly, quitting hadn't even crossed my mind back then; I was too depressed to care. Eventually, I got buried under obligations—not by choice, but simply because I physically didn't have the downtime to be alone and binge. Before I knew it, the urge had vanished. This might sound frustrating to you, but look, I'm probably not an expert enough to offer real help. I think I just traded the bingeing for something else; the depression and anxiety shifted into physical symptoms, like chest pains and tension headaches that spike whenever I need to concentrate. Maybe you won't see yourself in this, and maybe I haven't helped, but I did it my way.
George Smith2 George Smith2 Member
12 messages
joined May 2007
#19 ·
slyowl96 said:Total nonsense.
I think you're just messing with a poor girl.

What part of this is unrealistic?

It’s not exactly rocket science—you're talking about working as a waitress at a Go-go club...

Everything else I wrote follows that logic: if you just have the willpower to open up and lean into the moment, the nature of the job practically forces you to.
Once you realize that your tips depend entirely on how many teeth you show—I mean a grin from ear to ear—and you accept that you aren't some high-flying CEO, but rather a WAITRESS whose sole mission is to push drinks, rake in the cash, and send a customer home happy regardless of whether they sent you back to the bar fifteen times for some trivial nonsense... well, you just leave that stuff at the door and treat the rest as entertainment. Whatever goes wrong is just part of the gig; whatever goes right is just a bonus.
That’s precisely why it’s a decent gig—it isn't some soul-crushing office job where the highlight of your day is someone messing up two numbers on a spreadsheet while you perform repetitive, robotic tasks all day long.

But even then, you need to have some backbone—don't walk in with these ridiculous expectations only to act shocked every time something minor goes sideways. We create our own circumstances; the environment is just the springboard. 👍
Olivia Chase2 Olivia Chase2 Newcomer
1 message
joined Feb 2008
#20 ·
George Smith2;12702022 said:What exactly is unrealistic about it?

Dear George Smith2, you’re starting to sound a bit like a know-it-all—though my gut feeling (😛) tells me you aren't actually happy with that stance. As for what you said regarding career paths, I suppose I agree with you—not everyone is cut out for every kind of work. But, at the end of the day, I think one really ought to listen to themselves and find a job that provides both fulfillment and a decent paycheck, rather than just chasing money or some misplaced sense of pride from having outmaneuvered someone professionally to snag a fat tip. Honestly, I don't know... I get that working closely with people can be appealing and is certainly a popular field right now, but the advice you gave the author seems a bit nonsensical to me. Encouraging her to stay in an environment like that?! Please, if you could perhaps elaborate on that a little better... I just don't quite follow your logic..

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