Dealing with homosexuality in the family: How to handle it?

To seems like some pretty healthy thinking to me...

I find it hard to buy this whole "troubled family" narrative everyone keeps pushing... honestly, maybe the issue is just 🤷in their heads.☕

I’ve always said that I define primitive behavior as those moments where a pack of aggressive, straight guys decides to gang up and carry out some sort of "massacre" against a gay or bisexual person. Honestly, that kind of mob mentality is just so incredibly primal and backward!

I suppose you might actually change your tune if this were happening to your own kid, but let's be real—you aren't thinking about that right now because you haven't truly sat down to process what it would mean if something like this happened in your future. Even if you claim to be against it today, if it hit home, you'd eventually have to face the reality of it. At the end of the day, it’s your child, and they carry your blood!

Look, they aren't to blame for how they were born or for their orientation, which is exactly what one of the folks on this forum pointed out when they said, "I've been gay since birth and I'd give anything to be able to change it." Maybe there's even some shame involved, but you can't fight who you are. It's like how someone loves football or psychology or... well, whatever, it doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. You can't just tell yourself, "Starting today, I don't like football anymore, so I'm never watching an NFL game again when our team plays!"

Maybe it isn't the perfect analogy, but I think it's a simple way to get my point across! 😉

wanderingtinker34 said:I’ve always said that I define primitive behavior as those moments where a pack of aggressive, straight guys decides to gang up and carry out some sort of "massacre" against a gay or bisexual person. Honestly, that kind of mob mentality is just so incredibly primal and backward!

I suppose you might actually change your tune if this were happening to your own kid, but let's be real—you aren't thinking about that right now because you haven't truly sat down to process what it would mean if something like this happened in your future. Even if you claim to be against it today, if it hit home, you'd eventually have to face the reality of it. At the end of the day, it’s your child, and they carry your blood!

Look, they aren't to blame for how they were born or for their orientation, which is exactly what one of the folks on this forum pointed out when they said, "I've been gay since birth and I'd give anything to be able to change it." Maybe there's even some shame involved, but you can't fight who you are. It's like how someone loves football or psychology or... well, whatever, it doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. You can't just tell yourself, "Starting today, I don't like football anymore, so I'm never watching an NFL game again when our team plays!"

Maybe it isn't the perfect analogy, but I think it's a simple way to get my point across! 😉

Wonderful 👍👍
Look, the whole issue of sexual orientation discrimination and the division it creates among people has been dragged out on these forums so many times that it feels silly to even bring up the DSM, the year '73, or the bigots who simply cannot stand having a homosexual person nearby.
It often comes down to a physical perspective: I LOOK AT YOU FROM ACROSS THE ROOM, I SEE A GAY PERSON, AND I REFUSE TO LOOK AT YOU BECAUSE YOU DISGUST ME.
And yet, that person thinks they aren't the problem, while it's actually them who is being narrow-minded—unable to tolerate anything that doesn't mirror themselves. Not to mention that plenty of "straight" guys are doing just as much behind closed doors, but friendships constantly fall apart the moment people start being honest with one another.

It is 2024, yet society hasn't changed all that much from the eras when Jews were being persecuted.

Come on, either learn to live in an environment alongside homosexuals and people who are generally different from you, or stop pretending to know how to live altogether.

Anyway, that wasn't really the main topic, but regarding the family aspect, I think someone here made a very smart point about the "what will the neighbors think" mentality, and honestly, that is exactly what it boils down to.
We all know our parents belong to an older generation, which shows in their conservative views; they were raised by even older generations where discrimination was just a normalized part of life. It's going to take years upon years to clear away this rot in humanity, but we have to move toward enlightenment. I'm increasingly convinced that the world won't progress if we continue to be so resistant to morality. We are human beings, we possess reason, and we aren't just mindless creatures.

I happened to overhear my grandma chatting with her friend earlier... she was saying how guys these days just end up burning out on each other—getting fed up with all the demands, the constant noise, the kids—and they just shut down and turn inward. Apparently, it's the same deal for women; if the love isn't there, they just lean on each other instead 🙂)))))

Samuel Nelson24 said:I was watching Sasha on ABC the other day talking about gay people, and I really liked what this one guy said—basically, you aren't born gay, you become gay later on.

It’s kind of like how nobody is born a schizophrenic or an alcoholic, right?
That stuff develops as you go through life.

Personally, I think he hit the nail on the head
and that everything boils down to the family dynamic—you know, the psychological side of things and how kids are raised.

It’s a bummer that they didn't bring any parents of gay kids onto the show to talk.

I feel like we really ought to be asking parents about their upbringing styles and how they handled things at home.

Like, do any of these gay guys actually have a healthy, solid relationship with both their mom and dad?

In my opinion, anyone who ends up being gay is dealing with some kind of trauma from their childhood—whether it's something they're aware of or just some repressed thing buried deep down—and that’s where the root of it all lies.

A little five-year-old boy could experience a trauma if, say, his father passes away and he grows up without him, leaving him with just a super dominant mother.

Down the road, that could lead to him being gay.

I could probably come up with a ton of other examples.
For instance, maybe a four-year-old girl is being seduced by her dad through certain words, looks, or gestures... (and I don't necessarily mean physical assault), which just makes her lose all respect for men entirely.

What do you guys reckon?

Oh man... that's a tough one... but essentially, a homosexual is just a female with a penis between her legs...
or a male with female hormones... imagine for a second that you were a woman... that you literally felt like a woman... but you had male anatomy... that's what it's like for them... some of them don't even truly know what they are... they just gravitate toward whatever attracts them most...

wanderingtinker34 said:I’ve always said that I define primitive behavior as those moments where a pack of aggressive, straight guys decides to gang up and carry out some sort of "massacre" against a gay or bisexual person. Honestly, that kind of mob mentality is just so incredibly primal and backward!

I suppose you might actually change your tune if this were happening to your own kid, but let's be real—you aren't thinking about that right now because you haven't truly sat down to process what it would mean if something like this happened in your future. Even if you claim to be against it today, if it hit home, you'd eventually have to face the reality of it. At the end of the day, it’s your child, and they carry your blood!

Look, they aren't to blame for how they were born or for their orientation, which is exactly what one of the folks on this forum pointed out when they said, "I've been gay since birth and I'd give anything to be able to change it." Maybe there's even some shame involved, but you can't fight who you are. It's like how someone loves football or psychology or... well, whatever, it doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. You can't just tell yourself, "Starting today, I don't like football anymore, so I'm never watching an NFL game again when our team plays!"

Maybe it isn't the perfect analogy, but I think it's a simple way to get my point across! 😉

Now you’ve gone and broadened the scope a bit too much there... that really doesn't apply to me at all. I don't condone attacking any group or individual, and honestly, I assume that's actually against the law here in the States... So, I think we really need to draw some lines between different categories, like those people who don't even think for themselves and just follow along with even bigger idiots, versus those who simply have their own perspective or way of looking at things without actually threatening anyone, regardless of whether their opinion happens to offend someone or not. At the end of the day, I just don't hang out with people whose views and beliefs feel like a personal attack on me, and that's really all there is to it...

When it comes to my child, even if they happen to be gay, I honestly can't wrap my head around why you’d assume I’d ever change my mind just because someone tries to label it as some kind of illness or disorder... I mean, at the end of the day, I can still love my kid unconditionally while simply acknowledging that they were born a little different from what society calls "normal"...

That’s really all there is to it, and honestly, I don't feel like I'm offending anyone or stepping on any toes, nor am I trying to deny anyone their rights in any way whatsoever...

darkeagle11 said:Oh man... that's a tough one... but essentially, a homosexual is just a female with a penis between her legs...
or a male with female hormones... imagine for a second that you were a woman... that you literally felt like a woman... but you had male anatomy... that's what it's like for them... some of them don't even truly know what they are... they just gravitate toward whatever attracts them most...

You’re speaking as if you have a PhD in homosexuality. Well, let me set you straight: back in the day, you could spot a gay man easily because they didn't hide it; they stopped acting like "tough guys" ages ago and leaned into estrogen. But listen, that doesn't mean they aren't men, nor does it mean that's how they feel inside. Besides, what do you actually know? You know you're a man, and you know you're attracted to women (correct me if I'm wrong, but that isn't even my point), and absolutely nothing else about anyone else. In reality, you might have spent your whole life hiding your own lack of morality while pretending to be highly principled in front of girls you find unattractive, but if I can tell you one thing, you're dead wrong.

I don't know how old you are—15, 25, 35 (the older you are, the worse it gets)—but if you tell me that homosexuals are just women with misplaced genitalia, you are utterly useless to society, pardon my French. On the contrary, I know gay men who are more masculine and act more like "men's men" than most heterosexuals; they are the type of people that you narrow-minded bigots would never even suspect of being gay.

It's obvious you aren't gay and have never experienced anything of the sort, but you need to hear this because I simply cannot tolerate these kinds of outbursts from people hanging out on psychological forums.

Good grief.

neonhound10 said:Now you’ve gone and broadened the scope a bit too much there... that really doesn't apply to me at all. I don't condone attacking any group or individual, and honestly, I assume that's actually against the law here in the States... So, I think we really need to draw some lines between different categories, like those people who don't even think for themselves and just follow along with even bigger idiots, versus those who simply have their own perspective or way of looking at things without actually threatening anyone, regardless of whether their opinion happens to offend someone or not. At the end of the day, I just don't hang out with people whose views and beliefs feel like a personal attack on me, and that's really all there is to it...

When it comes to my child, even if they happen to be gay, I honestly can't wrap my head around why you’d assume I’d ever change my mind just because someone tries to label it as some kind of illness or disorder... I mean, at the end of the day, I can still love my kid unconditionally while simply acknowledging that they were born a little different from what society calls "normal"...

That’s really all there is to it, and honestly, I don't feel like I'm offending anyone or stepping on any toes, nor am I trying to deny anyone their rights in any way whatsoever...

I only made that comparison because we're talking about children... maybe it'll help you look at things a bit more clearly. Besides, listening to you talk, it sounds to me like the tables have turned and you're starting to sound a lot like the very thing you were criticizing before.

Sophia Lopez9 said:Trust me, I didn't choose this; I've been gay since birth. Even as a kid, I realized I was looking at guys differently than girls. I'd do just about anything to be straight.

Why are you even ashamed? Just embrace who you are.😉

I've always felt that within any psychologically healthy individual, there's both a homosexual and a heterosexual component; it’s really just a matter of how those two sides are balanced. That’s essentially why we see the spectrum of heterosexuals, bisexuals, and homosexuals.
Personally, I don't have any issue with gay people at all, though I do feel quite content being straight. If I were gay, I suppose I might just be indifferent about the whole thing 😕
As for the social side of things—it really comes down to your family upbringing. In many American households, it can still be a point of tension, but I truly believe that dynamic is starting to shift 😉

neonhound10 said:To seems like some pretty healthy thinking to me...

Is it really "sound" just because his environment conditioned him to loathe himself simply for being different? I’m not sure there’s much health in that.

I guess there's a certain advantage to being bisexual: you basically get to experience everything the world has to offer, and honestly, things never really get stale.

bluebison70 said:I guess there's a certain advantage to being bisexual: you basically get to experience everything the world has to offer, and honestly, things never really get stale.

In a certain sense, it really is the best way to be 👍

bluebison70 said:I guess there's a certain advantage to being bisexual: you basically get to experience everything the world has to offer, and honestly, things never really get stale.

Being bisexual doesn't mean you have to sleep with every single person you encounter; it just means you're attracted to both genders.

People who go overboard with the constant hooking up usually have some underlying issue they're projecting, and honestly, they aren't even that happy because of it.

Look, I’ve got some years on me now, though mentally? Not so much. I’ll be the first to admit I recognize people are different, and honestly, I'm against persecuting anyone just for being themselves.
If my kid turned out to be gay, it would be a massive adjustment for me, I won't lie—but at the end of the day, I’d love them just the same.

But I have to ask—and this is directed mostly at the gay community, since they’re the ones living it: Why is it that during Pride parades, participants feel the need to dress so provocatively and act in total opposition to any sense of public decency?
I mean, seriously. You see these images of men half-naked, wearing enough makeup to rival a Vegas showgirl, using all sorts of sex toys, and making out—well, let's call it "aggressive smooching"—in ways that frankly just turn people off. It’s never going to help them win over the neighbors if they behave like that.
I'll be blunt: seeing those parades makes my skin crawl, and I think any straight couple acting that way would get the exact same reaction from the public.
Wouldn't it be more effective—more "normal," I guess—to fight for rights with a bit of dignity? Just show the world that love is love through simple gestures, like holding hands, instead of putting on this perverse little show for everyone else?
And then, predictably, you get into those heated debates about whether people like that should even be allowed to adopt children.

The community really needs to police its own approach to activism. If they don't start demanding respect through more dignified means, they’re always going to find themselves surrounded by people who just want nothing to do with them.

Look, I'm gay, but honestly? I’m not a fan of the parades—I think they just end up fueling more prejudice against us. It makes people recoil even more than they already do. Let's be real: walking down a street in most of America, holding hands and kissing, isn't exactly something that's widely accepted yet. I’ve always been a proponent of legal reform and educational seminars—you know, showing folks that we are just regular, everyday people—but the political climate here is just... well, it's tough. You see politicians in Congress using slurs to describe us, which really shows their level of respect—or lack thereof. They make these sweeping statements about how "the universe is heterosexual" and how society expects everyone to conform to that norm. It's exhausting.
agent, if you’re actually being serious right now, then you’ve got things a bit twisted—because if you genuinely view yourself as disordered, then you're creating your own problem; otherwise, medical science doesn't classify us as sick or mentally ill.

Betty Allen15 said:Look, I’ve got some years on me now, though mentally? Not so much. I’ll be the first to admit I recognize people are different, and honestly, I'm against persecuting anyone just for being themselves.
If my kid turned out to be gay, it would be a massive adjustment for me, I won't lie—but at the end of the day, I’d love them just the same.

But I have to ask—and this is directed mostly at the gay community, since they’re the ones living it: Why is it that during Pride parades, participants feel the need to dress so provocatively and act in total opposition to any sense of public decency?
I mean, seriously. You see these images of men half-naked, wearing enough makeup to rival a Vegas showgirl, using all sorts of sex toys, and making out—well, let's call it "aggressive smooching"—in ways that frankly just turn people off. It’s never going to help them win over the neighbors if they behave like that.
I'll be blunt: seeing those parades makes my skin crawl, and I think any straight couple acting that way would get the exact same reaction from the public.
Wouldn't it be more effective—more "normal," I guess—to fight for rights with a bit of dignity? Just show the world that love is love through simple gestures, like holding hands, instead of putting on this perverse little show for everyone else?
And then, predictably, you get into those heated debates about whether people like that should even be allowed to adopt children.

The community really needs to police its own approach to activism. If they don't start demanding respect through more dignified means, they’re always going to find themselves surrounded by people who just want nothing to do with them.

Only the people actually marching in that parade can answer that. You can't lump everyone together.

Gary Patel said:Look, I'm gay, but honestly? I’m not a fan of the parades—I think they just end up fueling more prejudice against us. It makes people recoil even more than they already do. Let's be real: walking down a street in most of America, holding hands and kissing, isn't exactly something that's widely accepted yet. I’ve always been a proponent of legal reform and educational seminars—you know, showing folks that we are just regular, everyday people—but the political climate here is just... well, it's tough. You see politicians in Congress using slurs to describe us, which really shows their level of respect—or lack thereof. They make these sweeping statements about how "the universe is heterosexual" and how society expects everyone to conform to that norm. It's exhausting.
agent, if you’re actually being serious right now, then you’ve got things a bit twisted—because if you genuinely view yourself as disordered, then you're creating your own problem; otherwise, medical science doesn't classify us as sick or mentally ill.

What kind of seminars are we talking about here? Presenting them as "normal"? I don't see how that actually does anything... honestly, that kind of old-school education is pretty pointless...

I sat through one seminar once where they told us, "As psychologists, you have to tell people homosexuality is normal, and then they'll just accept it." What an absurd joke. Logic doesn't work when prejudice hits the emotional side of things—it blocks everything. Besides, those techniques don't even stick long-term...

And at the end of the day... when I think about the group that jumped me on the street yesterday while I was walking home from the grocery store (around 7 PM)... I think the only thing that would teach them a lesson is having laws as strict as they have in China...

redharbor9 said:What kind of seminars are we talking about here? Presenting them as "normal"? I don't see how that actually does anything... honestly, that kind of old-school education is pretty pointless...

I sat through one seminar once where they told us, "As psychologists, you have to tell people homosexuality is normal, and then they'll just accept it." What an absurd joke. Logic doesn't work when prejudice hits the emotional side of things—it blocks everything. Besides, those techniques don't even stick long-term...

And at the end of the day... when I think about the group that jumped me on the street yesterday while I was walking home from the grocery store (around 7 PM)... I think the only thing that would teach them a lesson is having laws as strict as they have in China...

Yes, that’s actually what some women from Lori mentioned during a seminar organized by a university counseling center. I suppose some clients might accept something just because a psychologist tells them so, but those numbers seem too small to really influence an entire population. In my opinion, television is probably a more effective medium for shifting public perception than psychologists are.

redharbor9 said:What kind of seminars are we talking about here? Presenting them as "normal"? I don't see how that actually does anything... honestly, that kind of old-school education is pretty pointless...

I sat through one seminar once where they told us, "As psychologists, you have to tell people homosexuality is normal, and then they'll just accept it." What an absurd joke. Logic doesn't work when prejudice hits the emotional side of things—it blocks everything. Besides, those techniques don't even stick long-term...

And at the end of the day... when I think about the group that jumped me on the street yesterday while I was walking home from the grocery store (around 7 PM)... I think the only thing that would teach them a lesson is having laws as strict as they have in China...

Well... if you are working in therapy or studying parapsychological phenomena, maybe. But if you were into bodybuilding or full-contact combat sports... perhaps you might actually manage to escape. 🤷