What should I get for a godparent gift at a Baptism?

Linda Price5 said:I was already aware of how much people were pulling in from wedding gigs. 😳

These threads really belong over in the Economics section.

Or maybe just dump them in the Off-Topic lounge. 😳

I felt compelled to weigh in on this thread because I dealt with a nearly identical mess. My wife and I had already ironed out the logistics and agreed on the custody arrangement for our child. But the moment we asked what he actually wanted, all this nonsense about smartphones and high-end computers started coming up. I honestly looked at him and asked if he’d lost his mind. Why on earth would you want that? Is he trying to cling to some memory of his godfather through a gadget? These gadgets are just fleeting distractions; they’ll be obsolete in a week and leave you with nothing but junk.
A meaningful gift should be something tangible, like fine jewelry, gold, or a classic timepiece—something meant to serve as a lasting heirloom.
We refused to let them blow thousands on some electronic gadget. Instead, we insisted on purchasing a piece of jewelry worth roughly $1,000 $0.00 featuring an engraved inscription. That provides actual value and a memory that won't go out of style in two years.

You missed the point; you end up buying both 😵

Since we’re all feeling the squeeze this year, I decided to do a little lurking... just to see what people are actually saying and what kind of demands parents are making during these times.
Basically, my takeaway is that the worse the economy gets, the more materialistic and ungrateful we become as a country. When wages are bottoming out and some people aren't even pulling a paycheck, asking for a high-end laptop or an iPhone is honestly embarrassing. It isn't the kids' fault—it's definitely on the parents. My daughter's future godmother wouldn't dream of ordering something like that because she knows I'd give her a serious piece of my mind (figuratively speaking, of course 😁).
I actually set a limit for the godparents so they wouldn't spend more than $333. And honestly, even that feels like too much since I originally suggested something closer to $233, yet they ended up spending $1,000. At the end of the day, the godmother is going to be part of her life forever, and the most important thing is that the two of them share a bond—the gifts have always been secondary to us. She has never missed a birthday, and she's always showered my girl with love... sometimes the gift was big, sometimes it was just a tiny trinket, but what mattered was the look of pure joy on my child's face whenever her godmother called or dropped by (they truly adore each other):klap:

I honestly can't believe my eyes while reading this... 🙄 🤦

My son is having his First Communion this year, and I made it very clear to his godmother that she shouldn't feel pressured to buy anything if it isn't feasible. If she truly wants to give something, I suggested a simple T-shirt featuring a logo from one of his favorite shows or perhaps a cool mug, since that kind of thing is so popular right now. As for the baptism, we actually agreed that the gift would be a parenting book, which kept the cost well under $67.

To me, all this excessive spending feels completely nonsensical—it’s just way too much for these types of godparent roles. In fact, I would never even agree to be a godparent if such expectations were placed upon me, just as I never demand any sort of expensive gifts from godparents myself.
I really feel that if someone wants to give a gift for these occasions, it should be treated with the same casual spirit as a birthday present... but then again, I suppose everyone has their own way of doing things.

I mean, in most cases, they aren't actually asking you for anything until you finally cave, right? It basically turns into this whole whining session where they treat you like a little kid who just *has* to get this done, and oh, look at you, you're the only one available, isn't that just great... blah, blah, blah. But then, the second you say, "Fine, whatever," suddenly you're hit with a massive list—and I mean a literal, exhaustive checklist—or if they're being slightly more "polite" about it, they'll make sure you know exactly what needs to be done and how badly you supposedly want it😁...
Or even better, my personal favorite move, when they don't even bother asking you, but instead go straight to your kid while they're still in middle school or early high school🤦... and then the kid comes home lugging this giant list that some teacher handed out, which was apparently put together by their mom because, hey, that's just how things work in certain circles here😲
And honestly, looking at that list, I don't even own a pair of underwear🤣

If I were actually handed a list filled with such unreasonable demands, I think I would simply decline the role of bridesmaid by politely explaining that I just haven't reached the level of wealth required to pull off such an extravagant affair. ☕

I have never understood how a purely religious rite could morph into such a blatant commercial enterprise. Is the true purpose of a First Communion really to indulge every teenage whim or host lavish banquets for everyone else? I attended a recent ceremony that concluded with a lunch lasting over six hours, though I suppose that level of excess comes with a staggering price tag.

As the old saying goes: the sponsor pays the price, and I wouldn't be surprised if some godparents are still paying off the credit card debt from those celebrations today.

Raymond Wright4 said:I have never understood how a purely religious rite could morph into such a blatant commercial enterprise. Is the true purpose of a First Communion really to indulge every teenage whim or host lavish banquets for everyone else? I attended a recent ceremony that concluded with a lunch lasting over six hours, though I suppose that level of excess comes with a staggering price tag.

As the old saying goes: the sponsor pays the price, and I wouldn't be surprised if some godparents are still paying off the credit card debt from those celebrations today.

It seems as though fewer and fewer people actually care about the faith or the sanctity of the ritual anymore; they just show up for the gifts...☕

Lisa Rivera said:It seems as though fewer and fewer people actually care about the faith or the sanctity of the ritual anymore; they just show up for the gifts...☕

You’re absolutely right on that point...

We ended up being talked into shelling out several thousand dollars for my nephew’s First Communion on his grandmother's insistence—and she really is a devout woman—but now the kid won't even step foot in a church unless it’s for Christmas...

God, how could I have been so incredibly naive... 😵

Honestly, I have to disagree with the idea that 14-year-olds are being "entitled" just because they want an iPhone or a laptop. To me, those are perfectly standard requests in this day and age. The real issue is that, clearly, their parents aren't willing to buy these things for them, so they try to shift that responsibility onto a godparent. Why does that happen? Either they’re being stingy—which isn't a great look—or they simply can't afford it, which isn't about being cheap, it's just sad that our standard of living is where it is. So, people have "decided" that the solution is to have someone else pick up the tab for their kids' wants. They even end up paying for the kids' meals when they're out at a restaurant with guests. In my book, looking after a child is a parental responsibility, and that includes covering their lunch during a celebration.

To put it simply, the problem lies with the parents.

Clothing, meals, the everyday essentials—leave those to the parents.
As for the godparents? That’s where the real gifts come in.
I’ve put together a few thoughts, though one could go on forever:
A rugged backpack, maybe something for hiking or long trips (around $200 - $167)
A sturdy tent (maybe $500 - $333)
A high-quality piece of luggage (around $500 - $333)
A bicycle (roughly $500 - $667)
Rollerblades or ice skates (about $300 - $200)
Fine art prints or some watercolor sets (perhaps $1000 - $667)
A substantial book, a monograph, or a heavy dictionary (around $300 - $333)
Jewelry
A watch
An overnight getaway for two (roughly $400 - $200)
A surprise day trip—think Disney World or white-water rafting...
A flight in a small plane or a hot air balloon (somewhere around $100)
Skydiving, provided the parents don't have a heart attack (about $100)
Art supplies: an easel, drawing boards, acrylics, brushes (around $200)
Two tickets to that one concert everyone is dying to see
Laser hair removal for the girls (if the parents agree, of course)
An above-ground pool (maybe $300 - $333)
A foreign language course (around $500 - $333)
A sewing class
Singing lessons
A sewing machine, if they actually show an interest
Speed reading classes
Cooking classes
A camera (around $333)
A pet—dog, cat, fish—pending parental approval
Planting a tree, if there's a yard and the parents allow it, along with the necessary tools
A piece of furniture for their room, if they have one, and if the parents are on board (an armchair, a vanity, perhaps some eccentric lamp...)
Starter kits for a hobby, like jewelry making or millinery...
A telescope
A microscope
I could keep listing things until tomorrow.
It doesn't always have to be a physical object to hold onto; it can be an experience that lingers long after the thing itself is gone—something that encourages them to explore the world or stay active...

Hey, wanderinggardener12

Back when I was a godmother years ago, I ended up buying everything—a backpack, sneakers, a watch, jewelry, a tracksuit, a camera, and an entire wardrobe for the baptism ceremony.

Now I’m hearing that the requests from those getting baptized are becoming even "more modest."

To be fair, my godson didn't actually ask for anything (he was truly a wonderful kid), and he was absolutely thrilled with whatever we gave him.
It’s just our tradition here that the godparent provides the full outfit for the baptism; I knew that was part of the deal. And I mean everything—from underwear and socks to the suit and shoes. A complete head-to-toe makeover for the big day.

As for lunch, we didn't bother with fancy restaurants; we just fired up the grill at home. You know how it is—a Saturday afternoon, perfectly casual family time. And the parents picked up the tab for all of it.

What is the actual point of giving gifts during the Sacraments anyway?
Given the spiritual nature of the sacrament, shouldn't the ceremony itself be the gift?
Shouldn't being chosen as a godparent be an honor in its own right, where the child feels lucky to have gained a lifelong mentor through that bond?
And what’s the goal of having a physical keepsake—like gold or jewelry—to mark receiving the Holy Spirit?

I don't mean to offend anyone, but honestly, this whole spectacle feels incredibly tacky. It really can't get any more superficial.
It isn't just about the parents, either. The godparents who encourage it and the church, which doesn't focus enough on spiritual significance over material wealth (though, maybe I just have too high expectations from them 😂), all play a part.

To start, if someone wants to be confirmed, they have to attend religious education classes regularly for a year. I don't have an issue with the classes themselves, but I do with the coercion. To me, faith should feel like a genuine desire and a joy, not something you're forced into.
Then there's the requirement to attend Mass regularly—and people actually track attendance with little checkmarks! I always assumed families did this because they genuinely enjoyed attending together, not because they were trying to rack up points to stay in good standing.
And finally, we have the full designer outfits, the overindulgence at parties, the parades, and the sheer kitsch—not to mention gifts that often cost more than a month's salary.

It wouldn't hurt to talk to kids about the seven deadly sins before their confirmation. 😍
But wait, aren't those topics covered in the prep work? And yet, everyone seems to go ahead and violate them anyway, along with their parents and godparents.
Isn't that just pure hypocrisy? 😕

I have nothing against celebrating milestones or throwing parties, but my concern is that when I ask kids what confirmation actually means to them, most of them are totally clueless.
Most say they just "have to" do it, or that they need it if they want to get married in a church one day. 😬
When I ask about the gifts, the common response is, "Well, they're at that age, it's normal."
No, it isn't normal.
wanderinggardener12, that's a lovely list of ideas for birthdays, graduations, or competitions 👍, but none of that relates to what the sacrament is actually meant to be.
It becomes especially disconnected when people choose a godparent based solely on what they can afford to buy.

Look, I’ve been around the block enough to know what being a godfather actually means. A few years back, this little kid—smart kid, really—asked me to be his godfather. We were tight back then; he was bright, I got along great with his parents, so I figured, why not? No big deal. Then came the question about the gift. He asks for a laptop. I thought, okay, sure—even though it’s a massive ask and definitely not "budget-friendly," but hey, I asked the question, so whatever. Anyway, the kid starts listing off specific specs like he’s some tech reviewer—this model, that processor, all that jazz. I told him, "Kiddo, that’s a bit out of my league." So, his parents chime in, saying if it’s too much for me, they’ll chip in the difference. Honestly? I should have told them where to shove it, but I didn't. I bought the exact machine he wanted, handled everything, and you know what? Now we aren't even close. The kid doesn't reach out, I send him a text for his birthday, New Year's, Christmas, Easter—that's it. It's wild how many kids are just like that nowadays. And get this: the laptop cost me roughly $1.75, and he managed to break it in less than six months.

So, I’ve actually been a godparent twice now, back when I was still a college student. Since my bank account was basically non-existent at the time, I didn't even bother asking the kids what they actually wanted for their gifts 🤣
they just ended up getting whatever was considered standard at the time.
Like, a girl would get a gold necklace and a guy would get a watch.
And honestly, if they weren't totally thrilled with them, neither one of them ever let it show. If they had, I would've felt pretty terrible, but they were both just super chill about it 🙂

I really think people are right when they say kids don't even grasp the whole point of a First Communion.
It probably makes more sense to move those ceremonies to a later age, where you can actually choose when you want to "renew" your faith. As it stands now, kids are just reciting these phrases from memory without having any clue about the actual meaning or the weight behind the words they're saying.

I am not a religious person.
Is there not a certain weight to the tradition of gift-giving? To me, the entire purpose of such an act should be to bestow something of genuine substance upon a godparent—something of lasting value that serves as a constant, meaningful reminder of their role. When my peers were going through their confirmations, the standard was almost always a Bible paired with a small piece of gold jewelry.
One might consider more contemporary, albeit significantly more expensive, gestures; I have heard of groups organizing joint trips for the confirmands and their godparents to visit Rome and the Vatican. Such an experience would surely remain etched in one's memory forever.

analogseal18 said:I am not a religious person.
Is there not a certain weight to the tradition of gift-giving? To me, the entire purpose of such an act should be to bestow something of genuine substance upon a godparent—something of lasting value that serves as a constant, meaningful reminder of their role. When my peers were going through their confirmations, the standard was almost always a Bible paired with a small piece of gold jewelry.
One might consider more contemporary, albeit significantly more expensive, gestures; I have heard of groups organizing joint trips for the confirmands and their godparents to visit Rome and the Vatican. Such an experience would surely remain etched in one's memory forever.

That sounds amazing to me.
And honestly, it doesn't have to be tied specifically to the ceremony.
I think it’s a great gift idea for any godparent, maybe even for a milestone birthday during those teenage years...
Plus, it doesn't even have to be a physical object; it could just be an extra chance to hang out and bond (meaning everyone covers their own way, or the parents handle the costs for the godchild).

wanderinggardener12 said:Clothing, meals, the everyday essentials—leave those to the parents.
As for the godparents? That’s where the real gifts come in.
I’ve put together a few thoughts, though one could go on forever:
A rugged backpack, maybe something for hiking or long trips (around $200 - $167)
A sturdy tent (maybe $500 - $333)
A high-quality piece of luggage (around $500 - $333)
A bicycle (roughly $500 - $667)
Rollerblades or ice skates (about $300 - $200)
Fine art prints or some watercolor sets (perhaps $1000 - $667)
A substantial book, a monograph, or a heavy dictionary (around $300 - $333)
Jewelry
A watch
An overnight getaway for two (roughly $400 - $200)
A surprise day trip—think Disney World or white-water rafting...
A flight in a small plane or a hot air balloon (somewhere around $100)
Skydiving, provided the parents don't have a heart attack (about $100)
Art supplies: an easel, drawing boards, acrylics, brushes (around $200)
Two tickets to that one concert everyone is dying to see
Laser hair removal for the girls (if the parents agree, of course)
An above-ground pool (maybe $300 - $333)
A foreign language course (around $500 - $333)
A sewing class
Singing lessons
A sewing machine, if they actually show an interest
Speed reading classes
Cooking classes
A camera (around $333)
A pet—dog, cat, fish—pending parental approval
Planting a tree, if there's a yard and the parents allow it, along with the necessary tools
A piece of furniture for their room, if they have one, and if the parents are on board (an armchair, a vanity, perhaps some eccentric lamp...)
Starter kits for a hobby, like jewelry making or millinery...
A telescope
A microscope
I could keep listing things until tomorrow.
It doesn't always have to be a physical object to hold onto; it can be an experience that lingers long after the thing itself is gone—something that encourages them to explore the world or stay active...

Can you share where you got those prices?
I know flying a plane isn't too bad, but
hot air balloons and skydiving definitely are.
If you know a spot for a balloon ride or a jump for about $100, let me know...
Looking for options near NYC... and obviously needs to be legit and safe... don't want to end up on a news report after one flight. 😁

Daniel Alvarez13 said:Look, I’ve been around the block enough to know what being a godfather actually means. A few years back, this little kid—smart kid, really—asked me to be his godfather. We were tight back then; he was bright, I got along great with his parents, so I figured, why not? No big deal. Then came the question about the gift. He asks for a laptop. I thought, okay, sure—even though it’s a massive ask and definitely not "budget-friendly," but hey, I asked the question, so whatever. Anyway, the kid starts listing off specific specs like he’s some tech reviewer—this model, that processor, all that jazz. I told him, "Kiddo, that’s a bit out of my league." So, his parents chime in, saying if it’s too much for me, they’ll chip in the difference. Honestly? I should have told them where to shove it, but I didn't. I bought the exact machine he wanted, handled everything, and you know what? Now we aren't even close. The kid doesn't reach out, I send him a text for his birthday, New Year's, Christmas, Easter—that's it. It's wild how many kids are just like that nowadays. And get this: the laptop cost me roughly $1.75, and he managed to break it in less than six months.

And don't even get me started on godparents...🤦

EDIT: My kid is graduating high school this year. I organized a late-night hike to a local shrine with the priest, bringing guitars, music, and prayer. The kids are actually pretty hyped for it. 😉