Schizophrenia - General Discussion

Noah Garcia4 said:Just thought I’d chime in...
I’ve been scrolling through some older threads about schizophrenia, and it seems like most of those discussions are just people tearing those with the diagnosis apart, whereas here, we actually have people living with it showing up to offer a bit of commentary and solidarity. I have to admit, if I hadn't started this thread, it probably wouldn't be this open or honest. When I first kicked this off, I had no idea how many people would actually stumble upon it; I even tried to write extensively just to catch more eyes and hopefully spark some interest. I’m pretty happy with how the poll turned out. Some of you are actually friends of mine on Facebook 🙂. I spend a lot of time reading what goes on here, and after all this time, it felt only right to finally make an appearance. I thought I could stay on the sidelines, but it feels fair to step in. Even though I’ve been dealing with this illness for a very long time, I’ve stayed with the same doctor and we work together beautifully.
Something happened recently that hasn't happened to me before. It’s strange that it took this long. So, I run into my neighbor on the street and try to be friendly, saying, "You look great, is that a new style?" and she just stares straight ahead. We walk all the way to my house without her saying a word—she just kept her eyes fixed forward. I eventually stopped and just watched her; she treated me like I was invisible, as if she had absolutely nothing to say to me. I’m posting this here because it really is bizarre that this didn't happen sooner; it’s only just now occurring to me.
I remember being someone who sang the praises of medication to anyone who would listen. That’s still true, but at the end of the day, a pill isn't going to live your life for you; we have to do that ourselves. I say that specifically for those in this group who feel stuck in bed. But hey, everyone has their own struggle. For me, staying active is non-negotiable because I still want to see more of the world. So far, my travels have been limited to Rome—by plane, obviously, don't get any ideas. I was thinking about heading to Egypt, but there’s too much unrest there right now. I'll get there eventually. 😁
I’m rooting for everyone fighting this heavy diagnosis, both for yourselves and for your families and friends. There is truly nothing better than a stable period of remission 🎉😘🙂

~outoftheblue~

Hey... I've been reading your posts... and your husband really ought to be proud of how you handle everything. Seriously, kudos to you! My mother-in-law is also struggling with the same diagnosis... F25... If you wouldn't mind, could you please read my last post? It's a bit more urgent. She has fallen into a deep depression... and I am genuinely scared for her. I want to help her... to pull her out of it somehow, but I just don't know how anymore... Thank you so much, and hang in there.😉

William Evans10 said:Hey... I've been reading your posts... and your husband really ought to be proud of how you handle everything. Seriously, kudos to you! My mother-in-law is also struggling with the same diagnosis... F25... If you wouldn't mind, could you please read my last post? It's a bit more urgent. She has fallen into a deep depression... and I am genuinely scared for her. I want to help her... to pull her out of it somehow, but I just don't know how anymore... Thank you so much, and hang in there.😉

Well, thanks. First things first, though: you need to determine if she’s experiencing hallucinations—maybe she is and is just keeping quiet about it—or if you've already learned how to tell the difference by now. Beyond that, I can't offer much besides suggesting antidepressants. But you have to understand the generational gap here; I'm young, I've got my whole life ahead of me, and I'm actually relieved that these newer medications are so much more effective. Your mother-in-law belongs to an older generation. That’s exactly why I wrote that specific part regarding those who are bedridden. You see, the meds leave you with a dry mouth, and the low blood pressure they cause can make you feel lightheaded, but unfortunately, that's just the price of admission. However, since you mentioned she’s still working, it sounds like she hasn't completely lost her footing yet. Look, if the antidepressants don't knock you out, then when you have a moment of free time and aren't feeling totally sedated, you should try to get moving. Why is SHE the one stuck in bed? Maybe she wants to do something, but truly can't 🤷 there are simply too many antidepressant options available 🧐

Sorry if I haven't been posting much lately; my own mental health is a bit better, but it's easy to get sucked into these forums. I need to focus more on real life rather than living on the internet. I hope I was able to help you out. 😉 🎉

edit: given the F25 diagnosis, consider yourself lucky if there aren't hallucinations involved; mood swings are significantly easier to manage, but let's be real—this isn't some common cold you can just shake off... 👋

Noah Garcia4 said:Well, thanks. First things first, though: you need to determine if she’s experiencing hallucinations—maybe she is and is just keeping quiet about it—or if you've already learned how to tell the difference by now. Beyond that, I can't offer much besides suggesting antidepressants. But you have to understand the generational gap here; I'm young, I've got my whole life ahead of me, and I'm actually relieved that these newer medications are so much more effective. Your mother-in-law belongs to an older generation. That’s exactly why I wrote that specific part regarding those who are bedridden. You see, the meds leave you with a dry mouth, and the low blood pressure they cause can make you feel lightheaded, but unfortunately, that's just the price of admission. However, since you mentioned she’s still working, it sounds like she hasn't completely lost her footing yet. Look, if the antidepressants don't knock you out, then when you have a moment of free time and aren't feeling totally sedated, you should try to get moving. Why is SHE the one stuck in bed? Maybe she wants to do something, but truly can't 🤷 there are simply too many antidepressant options available 🧐

Sorry if I haven't been posting much lately; my own mental health is a bit better, but it's easy to get sucked into these forums. I need to focus more on real life rather than living on the internet. I hope I was able to help you out. 😉 🎉

edit: given the F25 diagnosis, consider yourself lucky if there aren't hallucinations involved; mood swings are significantly easier to manage, but let's be real—this isn't some common cold you can just shake off... 👋

My heart breaks for how she's living. I really want to help her, but she has almost nothing to look forward to in life. The only person who is even remotely interesting to her is her grandson, my son... but even that is just a brief few minutes before she wanders off again. I try everything—I get her out of bed, I clean her room and the bathroom for her just to get her moving, I invite her for coffee, I try to cheer her up or make her laugh, but it's like she's just smiling to be polite. Most of the time, she just doesn't feel like doing anything. Even when she does participate, like having coffee with us, it feels like she's just checking a box so she can head back down to the ground floor. We even thought about having her move in with us since we have the space, but she made such a scene about it. She has no friends, and she doesn't socialize much with us either. She used to go to church and would travel to visit Lourdes, but not anymore. Just work, home, and bed. She lies there, but she isn't sleeping. That's the main issue; she isn't lying down because she's tired. There are no hallucinations, but she talks to herself—not as much as before, but still. She tells me she isn't talking to someone she hears, she's just thinking out loud and commenting to herself. She isn't "that old" and wouldn't want to unconsciously destroy herself and her life like this. It's as if she doesn't want help, or maybe she doesn't realize how big the problem is. Oh boy... I don't know, I feel so bad for her, but I truly don't know how to motivate her or pull her out of this state anymore. Because she's so isolated and doesn't socialize, I'm terrified that hallucinations will start setting in. Honestly, I truly admire all of you who are fighting through all of this, who refuse to give up and manage to keep everything under control while still living your lives. Your loved ones should be proud of you. Let that be your motivation to keep going. It means you are fighting, and that you will grow even stronger; let that drive you. Unfortunately, she has given up and stopped fighting, and it makes me so incredibly sad. 😢That is precisely why we’re all going to pull together and fight for her; we’ll do everything in our power to ensure she gets the support she needs to feel better. Thank you so much for the advice. We are planning to sit down with her psychiatrist to discuss adjusting her antidepressant dosage. I won't bother you with this anymore. Please, just enjoy life—I truly wish you nothing but the absolute best. And, my apologies for such a long-winded post. I hope I haven't overwhelmed you too much.🙂 Best regards...🙂

What are some of the symptoms of schizophrenia that don't involve hallucinations, delusions, feeling like you're being followed, hearing voices, receiving commands from the TV, or refusing food because of fears of poisoning—those other typical issues associated with the condition?

Chloe Hughes6 said:What are some of the symptoms of schizophrenia that don't involve hallucinations, delusions, feeling like you're being followed, hearing voices, receiving commands from the TV, or refusing food because of fears of poisoning—those other typical issues associated with the condition?

Well, there are what we call "negative symptoms." Things like an emotional flatline, poverty of speech, a total lack of motivation, or just being unable to feel pleasure. Then you’ve got thought disorders—for instance, thoughts can get totally blocked due to hallucinations.

Basically, it doesn't have to be everything. People tend to label just about anything as schizophrenia.

driftingraven122 said:Well, there are what we call "negative symptoms." Things like an emotional flatline, poverty of speech, a total lack of motivation, or just being unable to feel pleasure. Then you’ve got thought disorders—for instance, thoughts can get totally blocked due to hallucinations.

Basically, it doesn't have to be everything. People tend to label just about anything as schizophrenia.

What is all this about, really? I personally struggle with a complete lack of motivation and an inability to experience pleasure, though that falls under schizoid elements—and depending on how a psychiatrist evaluates me, it might even be classified as schizophrenia. To make matters more complicated, I also possess certain traits that stand in total opposition to the clinical profile of a schizoid personality. It seems that for every different psychiatrist you consult, you receive a brand-new diagnosis, unless, of course, you happen to be a textbook case!

Chloe Hughes6 said:What is all this about, really? I personally struggle with a complete lack of motivation and an inability to experience pleasure, though that falls under schizoid elements—and depending on how a psychiatrist evaluates me, it might even be classified as schizophrenia. To make matters more complicated, I also possess certain traits that stand in total opposition to the clinical profile of a schizoid personality. It seems that for every different psychiatrist you consult, you receive a brand-new diagnosis, unless, of course, you happen to be a textbook case!

I couldn't agree more with the bolded part. It is a reality that identical symptoms can point toward entirely different disorders. A lack of drive, abulia, or general apathy—for instance—could be interpreted as a symptom of depression, a component of a schizoid personality, or even a negative symptom of schizophrenia. For a layperson, sorting these things into the correct categories is nearly impossible, and if my own experience is any indication, even the professionals often struggle to find much clarity in these distinctions... 🤷

Anthony Lopez8 said:I couldn't agree more with the bolded part. It is a reality that identical symptoms can point toward entirely different disorders. A lack of drive, abulia, or general apathy—for instance—could be interpreted as a symptom of depression, a component of a schizoid personality, or even a negative symptom of schizophrenia. For a layperson, sorting these things into the correct categories is nearly impossible, and if my own experience is any indication, even the professionals often struggle to find much clarity in these distinctions... 🤷

Every single word you said is spot on. So, what am I even supposed to do now? I experience all of these symptoms, yet I don't have an official diagnosis in that sense.

Chloe Hughes6 said:Every single word you said is spot on. So, what am I even supposed to do now? I experience all of these symptoms, yet I don't have an official diagnosis in that sense.

What should you do? I can't give you a roadmap, but if I were in your shoes, I wouldn't let a label consume me. Instead, shouldn't you focus on pinpointing your primary struggle—the one thing actually making your life difficult—and then figure out which medications or therapies actually address that? I’m in no position to suggest which diagnosis fits you best because I don't know you; I don't know your medical history or the full spectrum of your symptoms. It seems to me that psychiatrists often lean toward the worst-case scenario, jumping to conclusions like schizophrenia even when the clinical evidence doesn't come close to justifying it.

In my own experience, they were incredibly confident about psychosis early on, despite the fact that I wasn't exhibiting any positive symptoms like hallucinations, delusions, or paranoia. Eventually, they settled on severe depression, while simultaneously deciding that certain negative symptoms should be attributed to the depression, while others were tied to a schizoid personality—traits I've actually demonstrated my entire life, and even more intensely now.☕

Anthony Lopez8 said:What should you do? I can't give you a roadmap, but if I were in your shoes, I wouldn't let a label consume me. Instead, shouldn't you focus on pinpointing your primary struggle—the one thing actually making your life difficult—and then figure out which medications or therapies actually address that? I’m in no position to suggest which diagnosis fits you best because I don't know you; I don't know your medical history or the full spectrum of your symptoms. It seems to me that psychiatrists often lean toward the worst-case scenario, jumping to conclusions like schizophrenia even when the clinical evidence doesn't come close to justifying it.

In my own experience, they were incredibly confident about psychosis early on, despite the fact that I wasn't exhibiting any positive symptoms like hallucinations, delusions, or paranoia. Eventually, they settled on severe depression, while simultaneously deciding that certain negative symptoms should be attributed to the depression, while others were tied to a schizoid personality—traits I've actually demonstrated my entire life, and even more intensely now.☕

Medication doesn't help me one bit, and I struggle to even perceive myself clearly because of the sheer mountain of different pills and dosages I've been forced through. I also have schizoid elements; at least, that's what my psychiatrist and several other doctors I've seen have concluded. I’ve been referred for psychotherapy, but I haven't been able to get into anything due to the bureaucracy and the total inadequacy of the healthcare system and its providers. One doctor even told me I was a pervert! It has reached a point where they simply don't know what to do with me, and I don't have the money for private care. They essentially turned me into an addict, and now I am working hard to stop being one. To help with my benzodiazepine dependency, they just gave me a different drug that triggers yet another type of addiction, and so on. Essentially, I've been left to fend for myself, yet I have the "freedom" to get whatever I want from a psychiatrist just by claiming it helps me. I can choose to be hospitalized if I want; I can do whatever I want because they are clueless, so whatever I say goes. I have no desire to play those games. Then there is the matter of my ability to work; I don't have a job, I don't qualify for social security, and my only options are to turn to a local priest or a charity like the Salvation Army. I am completely fed up with the healthcare system, with the exception of my primary care physician, who is absolutely phenomenal. I am just sick of everything! I sometimes think the system was more humane back when people like me were either dealt with via lethal injection or a lobotomy that left someone a vegetable. At least then, you knew where you stood! In this current state, nothing is certain. Just so there is no misunderstanding, I have no suicidal intentions.

Chloe Hughes6 said:Medication doesn't help me one bit, and I struggle to even perceive myself clearly because of the sheer mountain of different pills and dosages I've been forced through. I also have schizoid elements; at least, that's what my psychiatrist and several other doctors I've seen have concluded. I’ve been referred for psychotherapy, but I haven't been able to get into anything due to the bureaucracy and the total inadequacy of the healthcare system and its providers. One doctor even told me I was a pervert! It has reached a point where they simply don't know what to do with me, and I don't have the money for private care. They essentially turned me into an addict, and now I am working hard to stop being one. To help with my benzodiazepine dependency, they just gave me a different drug that triggers yet another type of addiction, and so on. Essentially, I've been left to fend for myself, yet I have the "freedom" to get whatever I want from a psychiatrist just by claiming it helps me. I can choose to be hospitalized if I want; I can do whatever I want because they are clueless, so whatever I say goes. I have no desire to play those games. Then there is the matter of my ability to work; I don't have a job, I don't qualify for social security, and my only options are to turn to a local priest or a charity like the Salvation Army. I am completely fed up with the healthcare system, with the exception of my primary care physician, who is absolutely phenomenal. I am just sick of everything! I sometimes think the system was more humane back when people like me were either dealt with via lethal injection or a lobotomy that left someone a vegetable. At least then, you knew where you stood! In this current state, nothing is certain. Just so there is no misunderstanding, I have no suicidal intentions.

The part in bold was exactly my experience. I tried every conceivable variety and subtype of psychotropic drugs, only to see minimal impact. After they failed repeatedly to find the right combination, they eventually just started letting me decide what I wanted to take and how. 🤣 After enduring some pretty intense physical withdrawal crises, I finally managed to successfully detox from all the pills, and that is how (currently) I am managing to function reasonably well.
What is the core of your struggle? Is it a matter of mood, depression, or something else entirely?

Anthony Lopez8 said:The part in bold was exactly my experience. I tried every conceivable variety and subtype of psychotropic drugs, only to see minimal impact. After they failed repeatedly to find the right combination, they eventually just started letting me decide what I wanted to take and how. 🤣 After enduring some pretty intense physical withdrawal crises, I finally managed to successfully detox from all the pills, and that is how (currently) I am managing to function reasonably well.
What is the core of your struggle? Is it a matter of mood, depression, or something else entirely?

Regarding the post above, I am attaching a psychological testing report from 2009.

Psychological Findings and Opinion

Intelligence test results indicate average intellectual functioning. Thought process examination shows results consistent with the obtained IQ-.
Isolation of memory functions—numerical short-term memory is very good, as is digit span backward. Verbal-logical short-term and long-term memory also show no deviations. Verbal mechanical learning and word memorization indicate a strong capacity and learning curve, along with good short-term and long-term retention of learned material. Visual short-term and long-term memory of complex figures is more significantly impaired (psychogenic).
Visual perception shows no deviations. Visuospatial analysis, synthesis, organization, and visuoconstructive abilities are impaired (also psychogenic).
Psychomotor speed shows no deviations—though the subject is often impatient and superficial, impulsive, and works too quickly at the expense of quality. Grafomotorika shows no deviations. During testing, severe disturbances in attention and concentration were noted, along with pronounced disorganization in work, caused psychogenically.

Personality Examination and Assessment—The profile obtained on the MMPI personality questionnaires indicates somatization and anxious-depressive changes, as well as elevated scores on paranoid scales and Sc behavioral tendencies. On the Cornell personality questionnaire and semi-projective tests, results also indicated anxious-depressive changes, hypersensitivity, and marked social withdrawal, alongside difficulties in social relationships: mistrustfulness, rigidity, impulsivity, and a tendency toward aggressive reactions (significantly elevated scores on latent and manifest aggression scales). Phobic and paranoid elements in behavior and somatization are also present.

CONCLUSION: Mental efficiency is reduced due to disturbances in attention, concentration, and work disorganization, which are primarily psychogenic in origin. Continued psychotherapy is recommended.

So, there it is—that’s the test. Usually, my doctor writes things like "abulic," "low mood," "anergic," and so on in the reports.

Chloe Hughes6 said:Regarding the post above, I am attaching a psychological testing report from 2009.

Psychological Findings and Opinion

Intelligence test results indicate average intellectual functioning. Thought process examination shows results consistent with the obtained IQ-.
Isolation of memory functions—numerical short-term memory is very good, as is digit span backward. Verbal-logical short-term and long-term memory also show no deviations. Verbal mechanical learning and word memorization indicate a strong capacity and learning curve, along with good short-term and long-term retention of learned material. Visual short-term and long-term memory of complex figures is more significantly impaired (psychogenic).
Visual perception shows no deviations. Visuospatial analysis, synthesis, organization, and visuoconstructive abilities are impaired (also psychogenic).
Psychomotor speed shows no deviations—though the subject is often impatient and superficial, impulsive, and works too quickly at the expense of quality. Grafomotorika shows no deviations. During testing, severe disturbances in attention and concentration were noted, along with pronounced disorganization in work, caused psychogenically.

Personality Examination and Assessment—The profile obtained on the MMPI personality questionnaires indicates somatization and anxious-depressive changes, as well as elevated scores on paranoid scales and Sc behavioral tendencies. On the Cornell personality questionnaire and semi-projective tests, results also indicated anxious-depressive changes, hypersensitivity, and marked social withdrawal, alongside difficulties in social relationships: mistrustfulness, rigidity, impulsivity, and a tendency toward aggressive reactions (significantly elevated scores on latent and manifest aggression scales). Phobic and paranoid elements in behavior and somatization are also present.

CONCLUSION: Mental efficiency is reduced due to disturbances in attention, concentration, and work disorganization, which are primarily psychogenic in origin. Continued psychotherapy is recommended.

So, there it is—that’s the test. Usually, my doctor writes things like "abulic," "low mood," "anergic," and so on in the reports.

I am certainly no psychologist, but looking at this from the outside, it seems most of it boils down to anxiety-depressive symptoms and general difficulties navigating social interactions. Sure, there are mentions of paranoid elements and similar traits, though I honestly can't tell how much those actually manifest in your day-to-day life. For my own part, I found myself being flagged as extremely aggressive during testing—which was absurd—simply because I admitted to struggling with self-harm, having attempted suicide during a certain period, and even mentioned that I enjoy watching thunderstorms. By their clinical standards, I apparently check all the boxes for high aggression, yet in any actual real-world setting, my temperament couldn't be further from that description. 😁 When you look at these specific issues regarding certain types of memory impairment, isn't it glaringly obvious that they are merely secondary symptoms? It seems to me that these glitches are primarily just the fallout from an underlying psychological state rather than being the root cause themselves.

My own psychological testing results came back similarly inconclusive—it was one of those situations where the data suggests everything and nothing all at once. 🤣
What I actually wanted to ask you—and what I’m truly curious about—is how you personally perceive your own condition. For my part, the core issue has always been the depression itself, along with that heavy cluster of symptoms that inevitably tag along when it hits a particularly severe stage. To me, things like perceived emotional numbness or pulling away from social circles aren't even real issues; they feel perfectly normal given the circumstances, so I don't view them as problems at all.

Anthony Lopez8 said:I am certainly no psychologist, but looking at this from the outside, it seems most of it boils down to anxiety-depressive symptoms and general difficulties navigating social interactions. Sure, there are mentions of paranoid elements and similar traits, though I honestly can't tell how much those actually manifest in your day-to-day life. For my own part, I found myself being flagged as extremely aggressive during testing—which was absurd—simply because I admitted to struggling with self-harm, having attempted suicide during a certain period, and even mentioned that I enjoy watching thunderstorms. By their clinical standards, I apparently check all the boxes for high aggression, yet in any actual real-world setting, my temperament couldn't be further from that description. 😁 When you look at these specific issues regarding certain types of memory impairment, isn't it glaringly obvious that they are merely secondary symptoms? It seems to me that these glitches are primarily just the fallout from an underlying psychological state rather than being the root cause themselves.

My own psychological testing results came back similarly inconclusive—it was one of those situations where the data suggests everything and nothing all at once. 🤣
What I actually wanted to ask you—and what I’m truly curious about—is how you personally perceive your own condition. For my part, the core issue has always been the depression itself, along with that heavy cluster of symptoms that inevitably tag along when it hits a particularly severe stage. To me, things like perceived emotional numbness or pulling away from social circles aren't even real issues; they feel perfectly normal given the circumstances, so I don't view them as problems at all.

In my view, it looks like schizophrenia paired with severe depression and anxiety, even though I am certainly not an aggressive person in real life.

Chloe Hughes6 said:In my view, it looks like schizophrenia paired with severe depression and anxiety, even though I am certainly not an aggressive person in real life.

Fair enough; at the end of the day, you’re the one living in your own head. 😁 However, if we are talking about actual schizophrenia, wouldn't it be more logical to assume that you might struggle to accurately assess yourself—at least during those acute phases? It isn't quite like the old cliché, "only a fool thinks he's a fool," but the sentiment is somewhat similar. 😁

Personally, I don't view psychiatric diagnoses as some absolute, immutable truth that defines a human being. In fact, I would never go so far as to label myself with schizophrenia unless I had experienced multiple psychotic episodes where I truly lost my grip on reality. Of course, since I have no way of knowing your specific situation, I am merely speaking from my own perspective. 😉

Anthony Lopez8 said:Fair enough; at the end of the day, you’re the one living in your own head. 😁 However, if we are talking about actual schizophrenia, wouldn't it be more logical to assume that you might struggle to accurately assess yourself—at least during those acute phases? It isn't quite like the old cliché, "only a fool thinks he's a fool," but the sentiment is somewhat similar. 😁

Personally, I don't view psychiatric diagnoses as some absolute, immutable truth that defines a human being. In fact, I would never go so far as to label myself with schizophrenia unless I had experienced multiple psychotic episodes where I truly lost my grip on reality. Of course, since I have no way of knowing your specific situation, I am merely speaking from my own perspective. 😉

I clearly remember studying that painting from your avatar back in high school art class—the Munch-strah piece. For me, it’s not about losing touch with reality; it’s just that navigating life is incredibly, deeply difficult. And here is the paradox: if I’m being completely honest—without any false modesty—I used to have immense potential. I still do, though it feels like it's waning. No, I don't have schizophrenia because my doctor in New York has explicitly told me I don't. Besides, I've met people with schizophrenia who seem far more "normal" than I am. In truth, I lean more towards schizoid traits, though not entirely, and things are quite complicated. I have a little bit of everything, so doctors struggle to pin anything down. If someone were to stop me on a street in Chicago and strike up a conversation, they would walk away thinking I'm perfectly fine—actually, many people think I'm wonderful, calm, and totally healthy. Granted, half the neighborhood and then some knows I'm receiving treatment. But wait a minute... what do you want from me? Who sent you? I know you were dispatched to poison me and eavesdrop on my thoughts! I know you watch me when I go for walks or head to the grocery store. I know you planted a fake waiter to slip a tracker into my coffee, and I know you're pumping thoughts into my head via synthetic telepathy. Tell your people I know you're an agent sent to interrogate me! You know full well I remember that painting from art class—it was chosen specifically as a theme just to trigger my fear, wasn't it? That teacher was part of your organization, wasn't she? Did you really think I wouldn't notice? Tell your associates they failed; that painting gave you away! I know all about those tiny insects living under my skin—you planted the eggs, and now they've hatched and poisoned me. You can't touch me.

Chloe Hughes6 said:I clearly remember studying that painting from your avatar back in high school art class—the Munch-strah piece. For me, it’s not about losing touch with reality; it’s just that navigating life is incredibly, deeply difficult. And here is the paradox: if I’m being completely honest—without any false modesty—I used to have immense potential. I still do, though it feels like it's waning. No, I don't have schizophrenia because my doctor in New York has explicitly told me I don't. Besides, I've met people with schizophrenia who seem far more "normal" than I am. In truth, I lean more towards schizoid traits, though not entirely, and things are quite complicated. I have a little bit of everything, so doctors struggle to pin anything down. If someone were to stop me on a street in Chicago and strike up a conversation, they would walk away thinking I'm perfectly fine—actually, many people think I'm wonderful, calm, and totally healthy. Granted, half the neighborhood and then some knows I'm receiving treatment. But wait a minute... what do you want from me? Who sent you? I know you were dispatched to poison me and eavesdrop on my thoughts! I know you watch me when I go for walks or head to the grocery store. I know you planted a fake waiter to slip a tracker into my coffee, and I know you're pumping thoughts into my head via synthetic telepathy. Tell your people I know you're an agent sent to interrogate me! You know full well I remember that painting from art class—it was chosen specifically as a theme just to trigger my fear, wasn't it? That teacher was part of your organization, wasn't she? Did you really think I wouldn't notice? Tell your associates they failed; that painting gave you away! I know all about those tiny insects living under my skin—you planted the eggs, and now they've hatched and poisoned me. You can't touch me.

🤣🤣🤣

Fine then. In fact, it seems we are in total agreement on one thing: you don't actually have true schizophrenia. 😁
Now, shall we both just move on and stop chasing this particular rabbit hole? 😛

🙂I’m not entirely sure if this is the right spot for this, but I figured I’d give it a shot. I’m married to a man who has been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. It’s been a rough road—he’s actually ended up in a psychiatric ward twice now because he hasn't been staying on top of his medication. I’m wondering if anyone else here is navigating life with a spouse or family member dealing with this or something similar? If you are, I’d love to hear from you. Thanks.

driftingcanyon17 said:🙂I’m not entirely sure if this is the right spot for this, but I figured I’d give it a shot. I’m married to a man who has been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. It’s been a rough road—he’s actually ended up in a psychiatric ward twice now because he hasn't been staying on top of his medication. I’m wondering if anyone else here is navigating life with a spouse or family member dealing with this or something similar? If you are, I’d love to hear from you. Thanks.

We certainly do. My husband's mother suffers from schizoaffective disorder.

Man... I'm curious, how do you all handle this kind of thing within your own families?