Schizophrenia - General Discussion

driftingcanyon17 said:Man... I'm curious, how do you all handle this kind of thing within your own families?

Right now things are alright—I think they are okay... though it’s never truly "okay," if you know what I mean. We are just pushing through, and she listens to us to a certain extent. She’s staying consistent with her medication, mostly because I make sure she takes it every single day. Back when she was managing it herself, she’d skip doses or just stop altogether. How should I put this... let's just say she’s being "compliant" and stays "under control" mainly out of fear of the hospital. She knows that my husband and I are at our absolute breaking point; she understands that if she starts acting out—throwing tantrums, running wild, talking loudly to herself, or getting aggressive—she'll end up back in a facility. Honestly, after the last year or two, we just don't have any nerves left to spare. To be perfectly candid, we are terrified of what tomorrow might bring, but we're just taking it one day at a time...
How about you guys? How are things going on your end?

Honestly, it’s been pretty awful. My husband has already ended up in the ER twice because he wasn't staying on top of his medication. Now he’s still stuck in the hospital, and I'm just hoping he can make it home before Christmas. I’m honestly terrified he’ll start messing around with his meds again, and I just don't have the energy left to keep nagging him about it. I'm feeling pretty burnt out by all of this...

driftingcanyon17 said:Honestly, it’s been pretty awful. My husband has already ended up in the ER twice because he wasn't staying on top of his medication. Now he’s still stuck in the hospital, and I'm just hoping he can make it home before Christmas. I’m honestly terrified he’ll start messing around with his meds again, and I just don't have the energy left to keep nagging him about it. I'm feeling pretty burnt out by all of this...

I am so sorry, 😢 I truly believe what you're going through is incredibly difficult. I'm not sure if you have children, but managing all of this at once is such a heavy burden. It is so hard for a sick person to admit they'll always need medication; it's hard for them to grasp that our intentions come from a place of love and a genuine desire to help, not to control them. Unfortunately, some people eventually realize it, some never will, and some simply refuse to understand—even when they know they have no other choice but to take their pills. They aren't even aware of how ill they truly are, thinking that just because they feel better thanks to the meds, they can just stop, not realizing everything will just slide right back to where it started. How old is your husband? When was he first diagnosed? What kind of medications is he on, or should be taking? Are you located in Washington, D.C.? How on earth are you coping with all of this...? My husband and I both feel like our nerves are completely frayed from everything we've dealt with, but thank God we have each other to lean on, and somehow we just manage to get through it. If it feels too personal or uncomfortable to discuss here, please feel free to send me a private message.

driftingcanyon17 said:Honestly, it’s been pretty awful. My husband has already ended up in the ER twice because he wasn't staying on top of his medication. Now he’s still stuck in the hospital, and I'm just hoping he can make it home before Christmas. I’m honestly terrified he’ll start messing around with his meds again, and I just don't have the energy left to keep nagging him about it. I'm feeling pretty burnt out by all of this...

What specific therapy was prescribed to him?

Good evening. My name is Ivan, I am 24 years old, and I am struggling.

Because of where I grew up—out in the Midwest—you have to find happiness within yourself since there aren't many opportunities for sports or entertainment. That was my life. I had a girlfriend here and there, hit the gym, worked rotating shifts, and spent my downtime on the computer. Everything felt balanced. Then, in late September 2011, a girl entered my life and we started dating. From that moment on, I neglected my family and my training. Work became a chore because all I wanted was to be with her. She was my entire world. We stayed together until June 2012, when she ended things. I went to her house to see her, and she simply told me, "We aren't together anymore," before turning around and walking back into her yard. I couldn't believe it. I went home to find I was blocked on Facebook and she wasn't answering any calls. I never even got a final message. That was it. But what worries me is what happened to me afterward. Life became an overwhelming burden. I went from being a healthy, emotional young man to dropping from 205 pounds to 180 in just 40 days because I literally forgot to eat. I was obsessively thinking about her day and night, a problem I couldn't solve. My pleas, my begging, and my requests for closure were met with total silence. After two months of trying to get any information from her, I gave up, and that’s when the real trouble began. I just didn't feel right anywhere—alone, in a crowd, or at a cafe. Even after I stopped dwelling on her, physical and mental symptoms started surfacing. Heart palpitations, a lump in my throat, sweating while driving with the windows down in near-freezing weather, tremors, and head pressure. I couldn't handle it. I would rush from work straight to my bed, escaping into sleep, and then dread waking up in the morning. I started waking up with a strange sense of nausea that I can't explain—just a bizarre feeling that doesn't match any known emotion. After four months of this, I started having suicidal thoughts. It wasn't because of the girl, but because of these inexplicable things happening to my body. I didn't act on it, even though the urge was massive. It felt like my only escape. I might have tolerated everything else, but then I developed impotence. Even if I could manage an erection, I would suffer unbearable pain in my forehead and lower back. Then came the heart racing and the pounding in my ears when I lie down, plus a constant ringing in my head and ears that persists to this day. Sometimes I lie down, start a stopwatch on my phone, and measure my heart rate at 133 beats per minute. Going through all this, I've started feeling like I don't feel anything toward anyone anymore. If my parents passed away, I don't think I would even cry. It consumed me. It turned me into someone I never wanted to be. The worst part was sitting at work, looking at my hand, and not recognizing it as my own. 😢((((( I barely made it to the restroom, where I stared at myself in the mirror for twenty minutes. It felt like everything I was doing wasn't actually being done by me. 😕😕 😕I can't put it into words. Now, when I look back, I can't even remember if I was truly with that girl. My whole life feels like... someone else's. I've read about mental illnesses on various forums, and I find myself fitting every description. I read about the onset of schizophrenia, which says stress or a loss you cannot endure can trigger it. Here I am—an emotional guy, a pushover who loved only one person, and I didn't know how to cope. I'm terrified that this ringing in my head and ears is a symptom of schizophrenia. To conclude, I don't even know what it means to laugh anymore; I can't feel joy. I don't know what it is to be happy, sad, or angry. I live in a void, and everything I do feels performative, as if I'm not the one doing it. I'm dealing with it, but I am slowly sinking into something I may not be able to fix. I don't know what kind of stress or emotional shipwreck I have triggered inside me. Before, sitting at home was boring; I looked for things to do. Now, I don't even feel boredom. I just sit blankly in my room staring at the wall. When I encounter a problem or a social situation, I just fake a reaction because I can't actually feel it. I've started forgetting the date and the day of the week. My concentration is zero. I wish I could just sleep for ten years...

All comments are welcome. If anyone can help out, feel free to reach me via DM too.

Thanks, 😢 😢 😢

Gregory Taylor69 said:Good evening. My name is Ivan, I am 24 years old, and I am struggling.

Because of where I grew up—out in the Midwest—you have to find happiness within yourself since there aren't many opportunities for sports or entertainment. That was my life. I had a girlfriend here and there, hit the gym, worked rotating shifts, and spent my downtime on the computer. Everything felt balanced. Then, in late September 2011, a girl entered my life and we started dating. From that moment on, I neglected my family and my training. Work became a chore because all I wanted was to be with her. She was my entire world. We stayed together until June 2012, when she ended things. I went to her house to see her, and she simply told me, "We aren't together anymore," before turning around and walking back into her yard. I couldn't believe it. I went home to find I was blocked on Facebook and she wasn't answering any calls. I never even got a final message. That was it. But what worries me is what happened to me afterward. Life became an overwhelming burden. I went from being a healthy, emotional young man to dropping from 205 pounds to 180 in just 40 days because I literally forgot to eat. I was obsessively thinking about her day and night, a problem I couldn't solve. My pleas, my begging, and my requests for closure were met with total silence. After two months of trying to get any information from her, I gave up, and that’s when the real trouble began. I just didn't feel right anywhere—alone, in a crowd, or at a cafe. Even after I stopped dwelling on her, physical and mental symptoms started surfacing. Heart palpitations, a lump in my throat, sweating while driving with the windows down in near-freezing weather, tremors, and head pressure. I couldn't handle it. I would rush from work straight to my bed, escaping into sleep, and then dread waking up in the morning. I started waking up with a strange sense of nausea that I can't explain—just a bizarre feeling that doesn't match any known emotion. After four months of this, I started having suicidal thoughts. It wasn't because of the girl, but because of these inexplicable things happening to my body. I didn't act on it, even though the urge was massive. It felt like my only escape. I might have tolerated everything else, but then I developed impotence. Even if I could manage an erection, I would suffer unbearable pain in my forehead and lower back. Then came the heart racing and the pounding in my ears when I lie down, plus a constant ringing in my head and ears that persists to this day. Sometimes I lie down, start a stopwatch on my phone, and measure my heart rate at 133 beats per minute. Going through all this, I've started feeling like I don't feel anything toward anyone anymore. If my parents passed away, I don't think I would even cry. It consumed me. It turned me into someone I never wanted to be. The worst part was sitting at work, looking at my hand, and not recognizing it as my own. 😢((((( I barely made it to the restroom, where I stared at myself in the mirror for twenty minutes. It felt like everything I was doing wasn't actually being done by me. 😕😕 😕I can't put it into words. Now, when I look back, I can't even remember if I was truly with that girl. My whole life feels like... someone else's. I've read about mental illnesses on various forums, and I find myself fitting every description. I read about the onset of schizophrenia, which says stress or a loss you cannot endure can trigger it. Here I am—an emotional guy, a pushover who loved only one person, and I didn't know how to cope. I'm terrified that this ringing in my head and ears is a symptom of schizophrenia. To conclude, I don't even know what it means to laugh anymore; I can't feel joy. I don't know what it is to be happy, sad, or angry. I live in a void, and everything I do feels performative, as if I'm not the one doing it. I'm dealing with it, but I am slowly sinking into something I may not be able to fix. I don't know what kind of stress or emotional shipwreck I have triggered inside me. Before, sitting at home was boring; I looked for things to do. Now, I don't even feel boredom. I just sit blankly in my room staring at the wall. When I encounter a problem or a social situation, I just fake a reaction because I can't actually feel it. I've started forgetting the date and the day of the week. My concentration is zero. I wish I could just sleep for ten years...

All comments are welcome. If anyone can help out, feel free to reach me via DM too.

Thanks, 😢 😢 😢

I don't know how much this is weighing on you, but I am fairly certain you have wandered into the wrong forum thread. The symptoms you're describing sound almost textbook for DEPRESSION, ANXIETY, and PANIC ATTACKS.

The only thing that might lean toward psychosis—specifically schizophrenia—is that sense of unreality you mentioned. However, while derealization and depersonalization (the clinical terms for that sensation) can precede or accompany schizophrenia, in your case, they are almost certainly manifesting as a byproduct of severe anxiety or a panic attack, which is incredibly common.

Please, seek professional help as soon as possible. There is absolutely no reason to suffer through this alone when there are concrete solutions available for nearly everything you've described.

Anthony Lopez8 said:I don't know how much this is weighing on you, but I am fairly certain you have wandered into the wrong forum thread. The symptoms you're describing sound almost textbook for DEPRESSION, ANXIETY, and PANIC ATTACKS.

The only thing that might lean toward psychosis—specifically schizophrenia—is that sense of unreality you mentioned. However, while derealization and depersonalization (the clinical terms for that sensation) can precede or accompany schizophrenia, in your case, they are almost certainly manifesting as a byproduct of severe anxiety or a panic attack, which is incredibly common.

Please, seek professional help as soon as possible. There is absolutely no reason to suffer through this alone when there are concrete solutions available for nearly everything you've described.

Everything in my life up until now—the years, the highs, the lows—seemed to move along steadily. Things just passed on their own, and I kept moving forward. But after this recent event, I couldn't find my footing. I built my entire world around one person, and I simply couldn't handle the breakup. I ended up alone in the silence of my room, and my thoughts eventually burned me out. I haven't hurt anyone or myself, even though the urge to end it all was incredibly strong. Losing her felt like my whole world collapsed, and I honestly don't know how to explain some of this. The only place I feel secure is in my bed. I don't hear voices when I'm alone. Physically, I feel completely drained, like I’ve been through a war. My head hums constantly; there’s this electrical sensation whenever I sit down and then stand up or turn my head. Nothing feels certain anymore. Absolutely nothing. Throughout all of this, I just stayed silent, wondering what was happening to me. I am fully aware of everything, even though I feel like screaming. All I plan to do is schedule a private MRI for my brain in a few days. If they tell me everything is fine, I will see a psychiatrist. I realize that the lump in my throat, the sweating, and the shaking are symptoms of anxiety, but that moment when I looked at my hand and felt certain it wasn't mine... I can't explain that. I would be happiest if no one touched me for ten years so I could just sit in my room by myself. But that isn't living. Still, I feel like running until I pass out or just starting to scream. I simply cannot trust my emotions. I can't get angry, I can't feel joy, I can't feel anything. I am not sure of anything.

My advice? Save that pile of cash you were planning to drop on a private resonance scan and put about $100 toward seeing a psychiatrist instead. If they decide you actually need specific tests, they’ll send you. Honestly, doing this all on your own just feels like throwing money down the drain... unless, of course, you have money to burn. 😁 Regarding your hand, Anthony Lopez8 mentioned that’s called depersonalization, which is pretty common in a lot of different conditions, not just schizophrenia.

Good evening...
So, I realized I haven’t actually mentioned this before, but my current husband is actually my second husband. I went through one divorce previously.
I’ve been married to him for six years now. If you looked at my posts here—or even just observed me in person—it was probably pretty obvious that I was acting completely unhinged, though I suppose I don't know what the standard expression for being totally out of it is in your neck of the woods.
About two years ago, my dear husband started getting physical with me. My doctor advised me to keep my dirty laundry inside the house, so I didn't say anything to my closest friends, and by some miracle, I didn't bring it up to you all either. The police were called for the first time five months ago, but there weren't any immediate marks; the bruising only showed up the next morning. Well, they were back a week ago, and this time he ended up in jail for domestic violence because I was left with a black eye.
The situation is this: I am the one with the mental health diagnosis—schizoaffective disorder—while my husband, who is physically and mentally sound, is the one abusing me. He’s gone for about five days now, and honestly, I have no idea when he’ll be coming home, or if I even want to let him back in.
My friends, both close and distant, have told me they wouldn't have had the patience to deal with me nearly as long as he did. Their logic is basically: "Since you're unstable, we couldn't handle you for an hour, yet he managed six years."
But... once they heard the full extent of what he’s done... well, let's just say they aren't exactly lining up to take his place. What everyone missed in their judgment was that I am just as tolerant of him as he is of me. I hadn't planned on going through a second divorce, but it looks like I won't have much of a choice. I’m curious to hear what you all think. (And frankly, I’m not even sure if I love him anymore.)

http://i611.photobucket.com/albums/t...esCAAW3N52.jpg

@Noah Garcia4

The situation is quite straightforward:
1. No one has the right to lay a hand on anyone else.
2. If he felt he couldn't stay married to you for any reason—even if that reason was your illness, because people do divorce due to health issues, much to some people's shock—he should have simply left and filed for divorce rather than becoming a frustrated abuser.

And what about you? Does your condition worsen if you stop taking your medication?🤷

driftinggull21 said:@Noah Garcia4

The situation is quite straightforward:
1. No one has the right to lay a hand on anyone else.
2. If he felt he couldn't stay married to you for any reason—even if that reason was your illness, because people do divorce due to health issues, much to some people's shock—he should have simply left and filed for divorce rather than becoming a frustrated abuser.

And what about you? Does your condition worsen if you stop taking your medication?🤷

It really only takes me saying one little thing to him before he snaps; otherwise, honestly, ever since I’ve been in a solid, stable remission—which is exactly what my lab results show, and even my doctor expressed surprise about—that’s exactly when this behavior started. It happened right when I started feeling better; in fact, once I began shaving more and started a heavier dose of medication, he actually stayed calm because I’m usually just asleep during those times.🤷
I am incredibly disciplined about following my treatment plan every single day, down to the exact milligram prescribed by my doctor.
And of course, people can certainly get divorced because of an illness; why wouldn't they? In many ways, that would probably be the best outcome.

Noah Garcia4 said:It really only takes me saying one little thing to him before he snaps; otherwise, honestly, ever since I’ve been in a solid, stable remission—which is exactly what my lab results show, and even my doctor expressed surprise about—that’s exactly when this behavior started. It happened right when I started feeling better; in fact, once I began shaving more and started a heavier dose of medication, he actually stayed calm because I’m usually just asleep during those times.🤷
I am incredibly disciplined about following my treatment plan every single day, down to the exact milligram prescribed by my doctor.
And of course, people can certainly get divorced because of an illness; why wouldn't they? In many ways, that would probably be the best outcome.

Just ignore that idiot.

Noah Garcia4 said:It really only takes me saying one little thing to him before he snaps; otherwise, honestly, ever since I’ve been in a solid, stable remission—which is exactly what my lab results show, and even my doctor expressed surprise about—that’s exactly when this behavior started. It happened right when I started feeling better; in fact, once I began shaving more and started a heavier dose of medication, he actually stayed calm because I’m usually just asleep during those times.🤷
I am incredibly disciplined about following my treatment plan every single day, down to the exact milligram prescribed by my doctor.
And of course, people can certainly get divorced because of an illness; why wouldn't they? In many ways, that would probably be the best outcome.

You essentially answered your own question in those bolded lines. There isn't some profound, hidden reason why YOU shouldn't walk away from a man who is mistreating you. There is absolutely no justification for his use of physical force, unless we were to argue that your illness somehow made you violent and he was merely acting in self-defense. But clearly, that isn't the case here, so if I were in your shoes, I wouldn't spend another second in that marriage.

Hey there

So, my husband is back home. Honestly, I just can't simply walk away from six years of history like it was nothing. Deep down, I really want us to make this work. I’ve seen people suggesting I just ask him about his side of things, but I know there are plenty of you who probably felt differently but didn't say it. At the end of the day, violence is never justifiable, and he claims to realize that now. Currently, I’m focusing on my own recovery, but eventually, we could look into marriage counseling—provided he’s willing to go through it too. He says he wouldn't mind, though he’d prefer using our insurance rather than paying out of pocket. For the time being, we need to figure out how much we can resolve together; actually, everything ultimately comes down to the two of us working through it, alongside his own individual progress. In the legal decision, it wasn't just because I have health struggles—thank Bob for having someone in my corner—but because I told him to come home, thinking I owed him a fair shot. Since he arrived one day ago, things have been surprisingly smooth. He’s trying so hard to talk to me because I’ve had issues with our communication, but I’m making an effort too, though it isn't exactly spontaneous; it takes a conscious, deliberate amount of willpower on my part. Of course, he tells me he loves me and keeps reaching out with hugs and kisses. I know most guys pull that move right after they mess up, so I’m not quite sure why he thinks he’s being uniquely special about it. Statistically speaking, there’s a high probability he might slip up again, and if that happens, I’ll be devastated if I end up having to file for divorce. I married him for love and poured everything I had into making this marriage thrive. When we first met, he was wonderful—gentle, attentive, and someone you would never suspect could ever act like this. Then again, I’m far from perfect myself. So, I decided to give him this chance, but I’m just dreading the moment he snaps again; when it comes to violence, I’m just not interested in a divorce. ☕ Okay, he's settled in 1 day aside from the hope that things will improve, we really need to get into some marriage counseling... and so on ...

Noah Garcia4 said:Hey there

So, my husband is back home. Honestly, I just can't simply walk away from six years of history like it was nothing. Deep down, I really want us to make this work. I’ve seen people suggesting I just ask him about his side of things, but I know there are plenty of you who probably felt differently but didn't say it. At the end of the day, violence is never justifiable, and he claims to realize that now. Currently, I’m focusing on my own recovery, but eventually, we could look into marriage counseling—provided he’s willing to go through it too. He says he wouldn't mind, though he’d prefer using our insurance rather than paying out of pocket. For the time being, we need to figure out how much we can resolve together; actually, everything ultimately comes down to the two of us working through it, alongside his own individual progress. In the legal decision, it wasn't just because I have health struggles—thank Bob for having someone in my corner—but because I told him to come home, thinking I owed him a fair shot. Since he arrived one day ago, things have been surprisingly smooth. He’s trying so hard to talk to me because I’ve had issues with our communication, but I’m making an effort too, though it isn't exactly spontaneous; it takes a conscious, deliberate amount of willpower on my part. Of course, he tells me he loves me and keeps reaching out with hugs and kisses. I know most guys pull that move right after they mess up, so I’m not quite sure why he thinks he’s being uniquely special about it. Statistically speaking, there’s a high probability he might slip up again, and if that happens, I’ll be devastated if I end up having to file for divorce. I married him for love and poured everything I had into making this marriage thrive. When we first met, he was wonderful—gentle, attentive, and someone you would never suspect could ever act like this. Then again, I’m far from perfect myself. So, I decided to give him this chance, but I’m just dreading the moment he snaps again; when it comes to violence, I’m just not interested in a divorce. ☕ Okay, he's settled in 1 day aside from the hope that things will improve, we really need to get into some marriage counseling... and so on ...

You’re just asking for another round of trouble—and frankly, you're going to get it.

My sister was in a relationship with an absolute monster. At the very beginning, everything felt perfect; he was so gentle, attentive, and just a genuinely good guy. But after some time passed—once she had already fallen deeply in love with him—the violence started. It began with a single slap out of nowhere, usually over something trivial, more like a heated argument than a fight, until suddenly, he’d just hit her for no reason at all. There would be periods of nothing, and then it would happen again, becoming more frequent every single time. Within a year, it escalated to him punching her in the head, hurling insults, belittling her, and even kicking her while she was on the floor. She didn't dare say a word, especially in front of friends, because she was absolutely terrified of what would happen once they were alone at home. He would beat her and degrade her, and she would just cry, while he seemed to actually enjoy feeling like the "stronger" one. It reached a point where he was hitting her on a daily basis, or every other day, over nothing—just because she didn't bring him a plate fast enough or because he was frustrated about some random thing. After every single one of those horrible episodes, he would beg her for forgiveness, crying and telling her it wasn't her fault, that he was mentally unstable, that he loved her, and that he would change. None of that ever happened. On the contrary, he only got worse. During the last two months, he beat her so severely that she lost consciousness several times; his fists would literally knock the wind right out of her lungs. He raped her twice, and she ended up pregnant, only to suffer a miscarriage due to the sheer amount of physical abuse she endured. And to top it all off, he beat her one last time because he blamed *her* for the miscarriage. If someone hits you that hard just once, I seriously doubt they won't do it again. These people are sick; they need professional help. Please, do not stay in a marriage and endure daily torment just because you love him or because he claims to love you. Love is proven through actions, not empty words. Don't go through what my poor sister went through; the psychological trauma is devastating. I don't know... try one more time if you must, but if it happens again, the best and smartest thing you can do is walk away. Because if he repeats this behavior despite all those promises of love, he will keep hitting you and he will never change. I know it must be incredibly difficult for you, but sometimes it is better to end a marriage, no matter how painful it is, rather than living through those traumas forever. I'm sure there are beautiful moments mixed in, but when you sit down and do the math, the bad moments far outweigh the good ones.

STAY STRONG AND GOOD LUCK...🙂

Thanks, I’ll be sure to circle back and let you all know how things actually play out.

Hey everyone, I decided I should probably share my experience dealing with schizophrenia:
It all started last summer, beginning as this heavy cloud of depression and anxiety—I just slowly lost interest in everything. My boyfriend at the time (we had been together for two years) kept accusing me of being lazy and just acting out, so I ended up breaking up with him around October. Things really spiraled during the Christmas season—I went out with a few friends to a club in downtown Chicago, and while it seemed like a normal night out at first, as the hours passed, I started losing touch with reality. I want to be clear: I wasn't drunk, and I hadn't taken any drugs. Suddenly, every sound started blending together like a massive swarm of voices inside my head, and my vision became blurry, almost like I was watching a slow-motion film... eventually, I ended up sitting on the floor, screaming and pulling at my hair. 🙂 Luckily, a friend noticed what was happening, got me out of there immediately, and took me back to his place. The next day, I felt completely exhausted, confused, and lost... when I finally explained everything to a psychologist, she told me that hospitalization was unavoidable. So, within a week, I found myself admitted to a psychiatric ward at a major hospital in the city—specifically the tenth floor (back in 2008, my mother was also on that same unit due to chronic depression). I have to admit, the stay actually surprised me in a good way—the staff was great, the atmosphere was positive, and the nurses were gentle and the doctors were very reasonable. 🙂 The biggest struggle was finding the right medication balance—first it was Prazo, then Zyprexa, Moditen, Haldol, Risperdal, and finally Seroquel, which is what finally pulled me out of that acute phase. Along with that, I’m currently taking xanax and Velafax. I spent two months in the hospital and finally returned home feeling okay. Unfortunately, after about four and a half months, the symptoms started creeping back in: deep, overlapping voices, the sensation of insects crawling on my arms and legs, depersonalization, and catatonic states involving repetitive, unnatural movements... my doctor just kept increasing my dosage of Seroquel and xanax, telling me I simply had to accept these symptoms and live with them. It might have stayed that way if I hadn't had another intense episode this past Christmas—everything felt just like it did last year, except this time I trashed my entire bathroom and cut my arms and legs. So, from Christmas until now, I haven't been able to get out of bed... I'm terrified of being judged or getting those weird looks from people. But it looks like I'll be heading back to the hospital again soon... I just hope the atmosphere is as good as it was last time... 🤷

Sam Williams6 said:Hey everyone, I decided I should probably share my experience dealing with schizophrenia:
It all started last summer, beginning as this heavy cloud of depression and anxiety—I just slowly lost interest in everything. My boyfriend at the time (we had been together for two years) kept accusing me of being lazy and just acting out, so I ended up breaking up with him around October. Things really spiraled during the Christmas season—I went out with a few friends to a club in downtown Chicago, and while it seemed like a normal night out at first, as the hours passed, I started losing touch with reality. I want to be clear: I wasn't drunk, and I hadn't taken any drugs. Suddenly, every sound started blending together like a massive swarm of voices inside my head, and my vision became blurry, almost like I was watching a slow-motion film... eventually, I ended up sitting on the floor, screaming and pulling at my hair. 🙂 Luckily, a friend noticed what was happening, got me out of there immediately, and took me back to his place. The next day, I felt completely exhausted, confused, and lost... when I finally explained everything to a psychologist, she told me that hospitalization was unavoidable. So, within a week, I found myself admitted to a psychiatric ward at a major hospital in the city—specifically the tenth floor (back in 2008, my mother was also on that same unit due to chronic depression). I have to admit, the stay actually surprised me in a good way—the staff was great, the atmosphere was positive, and the nurses were gentle and the doctors were very reasonable. 🙂 The biggest struggle was finding the right medication balance—first it was Prazo, then Zyprexa, Moditen, Haldol, Risperdal, and finally Seroquel, which is what finally pulled me out of that acute phase. Along with that, I’m currently taking xanax and Velafax. I spent two months in the hospital and finally returned home feeling okay. Unfortunately, after about four and a half months, the symptoms started creeping back in: deep, overlapping voices, the sensation of insects crawling on my arms and legs, depersonalization, and catatonic states involving repetitive, unnatural movements... my doctor just kept increasing my dosage of Seroquel and xanax, telling me I simply had to accept these symptoms and live with them. It might have stayed that way if I hadn't had another intense episode this past Christmas—everything felt just like it did last year, except this time I trashed my entire bathroom and cut my arms and legs. So, from Christmas until now, I haven't been able to get out of bed... I'm terrified of being judged or getting those weird looks from people. But it looks like I'll be heading back to the hospital again soon... I just hope the atmosphere is as good as it was last time... 🤷

If I were you, I'd go to the hospital. Good luck.🙂

Hey there

My brother’s been dealing with schizoaffective disorder for about ten years now—he just turned 35. Over the last couple of years, things have gotten really rough; he’s constantly cycling through different meds and just can't seem to find any stability. Honestly, even basic hygiene is a struggle—I basically have to tell him how to take care of himself. He doesn't really have a social life, and hasn't had a girlfriend since he first got sick. Our dad passed away two years ago, and my mom is disabled, so I’m constantly spiraling thinking... if he can't stay steady, what happens to him when she's gone? He isn't working—partly because he can't get stable due to the paranoia, and partly because he has zero income.
What does this mean for my own life? I'm at that stage where I'm thinking about starting my own family soon. But every single day—and I mean every day—I'm worrying about him. Will I end up being his sole caregiver for the rest of my life? Would his behavior eventually drive me insane? (And yeah, I know that sounds selfish, but it's how I feel.) The brother I used to know has been gone for years. It’s honestly making me slip into a depression myself; even when I'm out grabbing coffee with friends, my mind just drifts to him and everything he's facing. I am terrified, and I don't see any way out. I'm scared he'll end up homeless, or that he'll start self-medicating with alcohol so heavily that we'll find him passed out on the sidewalk.

Has anyone else gone through something like this?