Schizophrenia - General Discussion

So, it looks like the Risperidone is the culprit behind the libido issues for now, at least until they phase it out in about a month or so...

Visionary, you've certainly been through the wringer... I can tell by the comments that those medications are hitting you pretty hard.

To be honest, I’ve tried quitting my meds on my own several times, but I always end up back on them because everything just resurfaces the moment I stop. Even now, I'm three days into stopping my treatment, and I'm struggling. I'm dealing with suicidal ideation and this crushing sense of worthlessness. It’s especially bad since leaving college; it feels like I have nothing to offer and no reason to keep going.
For me, it started as recurrent depression, then shifted to bipolar, then schizoid personality, followed by manic depression and F29 psychosis.
A simple schizo diagnosis... wonderful. On top of all that, I have plenty of personal issues I can't seem to manage. I go to psychotherapy every two or three weeks. I’ve cycled through so many different APs and Ads, and the side effects were endless. Only Haldol provides any relief, but even that isn't enough.
I've been teetering on the edge of hospitalization for a long time now—fighting it, then crashing... the mood swings and all that, you know how it goes.

Quote : Silence

Rebecca Rivera3 said:Visionary, you've certainly been through the wringer... I can tell by the comments that those medications are hitting you pretty hard.

To be honest, I’ve tried quitting my meds on my own several times, but I always end up back on them because everything just resurfaces the moment I stop. Even now, I'm three days into stopping my treatment, and I'm struggling. I'm dealing with suicidal ideation and this crushing sense of worthlessness. It’s especially bad since leaving college; it feels like I have nothing to offer and no reason to keep going.
For me, it started as recurrent depression, then shifted to bipolar, then schizoid personality, followed by manic depression and F29 psychosis.
A simple schizo diagnosis... wonderful. On top of all that, I have plenty of personal issues I can't seem to manage. I go to psychotherapy every two or three weeks. I’ve cycled through so many different APs and Ads, and the side effects were endless. Only Haldol provides any relief, but even that isn't enough.
I've been teetering on the edge of hospitalization for a long time now—fighting it, then crashing... the mood swings and all that, you know how it goes.

Man, life just keeps throwing everything at us at once, doesn't it? It feels like we're all just getting absolutely hammered by reality lately. And honestly—it’s not even about the therapy itself—it’s more about the inconsistency. Like, they doubled my dosage on the discharge papers, yet when I was actually over at the KBZ psychiatric ward, they were giving me way less. Just total chaos.

So, they used to have me on a full dose of Leponex and two Bosaurins, but lately, things have shifted—now I’m just getting half a dose of the 25 mg Leponex mixed with 5 mg of Bosaurin. They've been tapering me down.

And then in the morning—if my memory isn't totally failing me—it was like half a dose of Leponex, a full dose of Bosaurin, and that whole Arzelera thing... whatever the hell it's called. I can't quite recall the exact name.

So, I went ahead and cut everything in half on my own—except for the Bosaurin at night. Honestly, I feel like I’m flying blind here because I don't exactly have anyone to turn to; the psychiatrist handling my annual reviews is the only one in the loop. My folks won't let me switch doctors just so I can tell a new one that I've been tapering myself off or that I suspect I might be bipolar. They aren't having it. And now? Now I'm even questioning the whole adult autism thing. It just hit me today that someone could totally fail tests for schizophrenia when they actually just have undiagnosed adult autism. It's a mess.

Honestly, there’s nothing else I can do with them. It feels like my only real move left is to take this to court—or at least try to. I’m thinking about bringing in some forensic psychologists and psychiatrists to act as expert witnesses, just so they can finally see exactly what’s going on with me and realize nothing is actually wrong.

Look, I’m not denying that my mental health is a total wreck, but I’ve gotta say—I don't really buy this specific diagnosis they handed me. It doesn't quite fit. Plus, I've got plenty of physical issues acting up on top of everything else. But honestly? At this point, I just don't care. Let the whole thing fall apart if it wants to—I'm just going to focus on trying to get what's actually mine.

Some folks suggested I hit up Social Security first—you know, try to get some assistance based on all this mess—then move on to applying for disability, and eventually aim for those caregiver benefits. Just one thing after another, I guess.

Oko 124 miles That's it. That’s the whole budget—maybe even a bit more than that—and my mom is basically footing the bill through some under-the-table cash work she does.

If I can actually pull this off, things are going to look up instantly—I mean, I’ll finally have at least a little bit of breathing room to treat myself to the small stuff. Right now? I can barely afford anything. It's frustrating.

It’s just the worst when your own family screws you over for absolutely no reason. I mean, we didn't even have any major blowouts or fights with them—it wasn't even about us. It’s just that my old man has this massive issue with gambling and drinking, and because of his mess, they ended up throwing us under the bus. Just total nonsense.

It’s funny how you can’t count on anyone from that group for even a shred of help. My old lady actually went around telling people I was stuck in the hospital—which isn't exactly a joke—but she didn't offer a single cent of financial support. And this is coming from someone who’s sitting on a pension from Sweden and our local Social Security. It’s wild. She doesn't even bother talking to the rest of them because, honestly, they haven't done much to help either, even though everyone else has managed to scrape by and build a pretty decent life for themselves.

I honestly don't even know where to start with you, Rebecca Rivera3. I actually sent you a DM about this. It feels like everyone is just throwing diagnoses at me left and right lately—it’s constant. First, they slapped me with psychosis, then it was "psychosis in remission," then they brought up a suicide attempt and some other stuff... though, to be honest, my family keeps everything under wraps, so I never really saw the full picture from them. And now? Now it's paranoid schizophrenia, F20. Just one thing after another.

It looks like I’m definitely dealing with some side effects from these meds. I haven't had a bowel movement in over a week—just constant constipation—and I'm having issues with urination now, too. On top of that, I’ve started hearing voices... almost like flashbacks. Like, I'll hear a conversation from a day ago just playing back in my head. Not exactly a fun time.

I don't know if you've actually experienced any of this yourself.

What I'm trying to say is—I honestly don't even know how to put this—but from what you wrote, it sounds like some kind of depression to me. Whether it's chronic, bipolar, or maybe just cyclothymia... who knows?

Another day, another new medication added to the mix... I am honestly fed up with all these drugs. It feels like Friday the 13th.
I'm exhausted; I just woke up from passing out on the Heleks...
I don't feel like doing anything at all.

What’s considered the mildest option for depression?

Looks like you guys are all on the Haldol or something.

Does anyone know of an effective Ad that can be taken alongside AP? Something to help with those depressive phases... I've tried a ton of them, but nothing seems to work. Harold Anderson3, what are you taking?

I've been taking Ladiomil lately.
Honestly, I'm not quite sure how to tell you how to actually overcome depression.
I often get this feeling that I just need to 'pull myself together,' but if you have to force yourself to do something, you eventually end up stalling out anyway. It really should feel natural, like something that just flows from within you on its own. But it just doesn't work that way.

Ladiomil, I think I’ve tried that approach... personally, those depressive phases just don't click with me. I try to snap myself out of it, just like you suggested, but I end up exhausted almost immediately. Then I'm right back to doing absolutely nothing... just total emptiness.
So far, none of the medications have actually solved this for me. I just don't know...

I’ve been playing chemist with these meds for days now. This Azaraleks stuff—whatever it’s called—doesn't really hit the mark for me, though my mood seems okay, I guess. Today I tried the Leponex, so we’ll see if that actually does anything. Honestly, I think the Bosaurin might be the only thing actually working.

I might be running into some side effects from this cocktail, too. Dealing with snoring from the Bosaurin and Leponex, some constipation from the Bosaurin, and I might even be coming down with a bit of a flu.

How should one manage hypersalivation while on Leponex?

cosmiclynx79 said:How should one manage hypersalivation while on Leponex?

Man, that’s a tough one to deal with.
I don't really struggle with excess saliva anymore now that I'm on 50 mg of Leponex at night.
But back when it was an issue, I could manage it during the day, though it felt pretty awkward whenever I'd be talking to someone and accidentally drooled a little. At night, though... 🤦 my pillow would end up completely soaked, which would wake me right up, leaving me with nothing to do but flip the pillow over to the dry side.
Ultimately, it all comes down to whether the Leponex is actually doing its job in managing those psychotic symptoms.
If it is working, you might just have to grit your teeth and bear it. But if it isn't helping—definitely talk to your doctor about switching medications.

How do you manage your relationships with those closest to you? Do disagreements ever arise?

I watched some videos on YouTube where individuals diagnosed with schizophrenia can sit in the exact same position for hours on end.

Are you able to monitor or anticipate your own symptoms?

I know someone living with schizophrenia. While we were grabbing coffee, she seemed perfectly fine, aside from her conviction that an animal was her mother. When she mentioned it, I simply acknowledged it and we moved on with the conversation.

George Cook said:How do you manage your relationships with those closest to you? Do disagreements ever arise?

I watched some videos on YouTube where individuals diagnosed with schizophrenia can sit in the exact same position for hours on end.

Are you able to monitor or anticipate your own symptoms?

I know someone living with schizophrenia. While we were grabbing coffee, she seemed perfectly fine, aside from her conviction that an animal was her mother. When she mentioned it, I simply acknowledged it and we moved on with the conversation.

Hey there. That’s a bit of an unusual question you’ve got there. Don't "normal" people without schizophrenia get into fights with their loved ones? I’m not quite sure how those two things connect. Personally, I don't really argue because I don't have anyone else around besides my brother, and honestly, we have no reason to fight. As for that sitting in one position thing... man, when I'm sitting in the waiting room at the doctor's office, I probably cross and uncross my legs thirty times in an hour. This is news to me. Maybe that's something specific to people in a catatonic state. I really hope I can control and predict my own state. I mean, I observe myself just like any other living creature would. I feel everything—bursts of anger, moments of control, rage, love... all of it. So, yeah.

Jose Ward4 said:Hey there. That’s a bit of an unusual question you’ve got there. Don't "normal" people without schizophrenia get into fights with their loved ones? I’m not quite sure how those two things connect. Personally, I don't really argue because I don't have anyone else around besides my brother, and honestly, we have no reason to fight. As for that sitting in one position thing... man, when I'm sitting in the waiting room at the doctor's office, I probably cross and uncross my legs thirty times in an hour. This is news to me. Maybe that's something specific to people in a catatonic state. I really hope I can control and predict my own state. I mean, I observe myself just like any other living creature would. I feel everything—bursts of anger, moments of control, rage, love... all of it. So, yeah.

I was actually referring to catatonia. I saw videos on YouTube where people stay stuck in rigid, cramped positions for hours.
Honestly, I'm pretty burnt out on dating guys with schizophrenia who act totally fine at work.
I'm wondering, for instance, if someone with schizophrenia can sense when an episode is coming.
Like, when someone is talking to voices in their head, can they control it so they talk to themselves internally instead of out loud?

Sorry if I sound ignorant. I'm just curious.

George Cook said:I was actually referring to catatonia. I saw videos on YouTube where people stay stuck in rigid, cramped positions for hours.
Honestly, I'm pretty burnt out on dating guys with schizophrenia who act totally fine at work.
I'm wondering, for instance, if someone with schizophrenia can sense when an episode is coming.
Like, when someone is talking to voices in their head, can they control it so they talk to themselves internally instead of out loud?

Sorry if I sound ignorant. I'm just curious.

I had an episode last year—auditory hallucinations. From what I can tell, you can't really feel it coming. At least, I couldn't. It's like seeing a breakout on your face; you just look in the mirror and realize, "Oh, there it is. It's happening." That was my experience. And no, I couldn't control it at all because that voice feels exactly like a real person is standing right there talking to you. It's genuinely unsettling. There's nobody else in the room, yet there it is. It drove me absolutely crazy. Even knowing it was a hallucination didn't give me any leverage over it. It was infuriating. I remember I was just trying to make dinner, and the voice started up again, and you just... you cannot focus on even something as simple as chopping vegetables. Eventually, I just hit a wall. I told myself I couldn't take it anymore and called 911. This lasted for 36 hours straight. Just those auditory hallucinations that you simply cannot suppress—at least, I couldn't. They are incredibly intrusive. If you can even wrap your head around it. Imagine having a person standing next to you, rambling about everything under the sun, for 36 hours straight, and they won't shut up. I think anyone would start losing it 😁 let alone someone dealing with this.

George Cook said:I was actually referring to catatonia. I saw videos on YouTube where people stay stuck in rigid, cramped positions for hours.
Honestly, I'm pretty burnt out on dating guys with schizophrenia who act totally fine at work.
I'm wondering, for instance, if someone with schizophrenia can sense when an episode is coming.
Like, when someone is talking to voices in their head, can they control it so they talk to themselves internally instead of out loud?

Sorry if I sound ignorant. I'm just curious.

My last time being hospitalized was about a year and a half ago.
There was this moment in the hospital where, a few days after being admitted to the ward, I genuinely couldn't tell who my doctor was.
I honestly felt like everyone was playing games and making a fool out of me. That's when I overheard one of the doctors telling a patient: Harold Anderson3 is cursed and being hunted by the CIA.Once I finally figured out who my actual doctor was, I told her exactly what I had heard, along with how much I felt like everyone was treating me like I was crazy. I told her, I know that what I heard wasn't true, but it’s incredibly unsettling when you feel like you can't trust your own senses. She explained to me that the other people on the ward were dealing with their own struggles, and it had nothing to do with me personally. To help settle things, she put me on Haldol injections three times a day for five days.

New Yorker....
If you're curious about that rigid, frozen state where you just stand there motionless for hours... basically becoming a statue... I can tell you what that's like because I went through a pretty intense period of it myself. Out of nowhere, I’d just freeze mid-motion in some bizarre posture, as if something inside me suddenly snapped and left me unable to move. I’d fight it internally, telling myself I had to move, but I just couldn't. Later on, I'd realize that I actually felt nothing—not my body, not my spirit, nothing at all. It was like watching the world from another planet. I could hear and follow everything happening around me, but I wasn't really *there*. I wasn't present. And even though those positions were objectively uncomfortable, they didn't bother me one bit; in fact, they were the only thing I could manage. Just standing still. The episodes lasted anywhere from an hour to two full days.
Fortunately, those freezes are behind me now.

The other day, a friend of mine struggling with schizophrenia came to visit. He told me, "Nicole Barrett76, whenever someone mentions a specific person's name, I suddenly hear people on the news accusing me of cursing that very individual."

Now, it feels as though it is my turn to offer an apology and pose some rather profound questions. In this discussion, I have encountered only one instance where a patient experienced auditory hallucinations so intense they felt like a million simultaneous voices. Upon hearing them, they would inevitably cause distress to themselves and those around them, necessitating an immediate emergency injection.

I find myself wondering: what percentage of patients hospitalized for schizophrenia experience auditory hallucinations of such overwhelming intensity? From my observations, most people perceive voices at a moderate volume—neither deafeningly loud nor impossibly faint. Furthermore, I read somewhere that most patients primarily hear male voices, perhaps because female voices are considered too melodic to trigger such hallucinations.

Alright, here’s the deal.

Bosaurin: might mess with your stomach—constipation is a possibility—personally, I’d stick with Apaurin.
Leponeks: could cause constipation, maybe some weird flu-like symptoms... honestly, it knocks me out instantly. I feel like I'm physically wasting away when I try to walk, whether I take half a dose or the whole thing.
Azirileksa or whatever the name is: It just feels a bit off, like it gives me this weird sensation of running a fever. Metotoen might be a better bet.

As for me? Yeah, it’s pretty rough. I can barely function. I’m constantly sleeping and I'm just exhausted all the time. I mean, I’ve always been a bit of a zombie, but now it feels even worse—or maybe it's just my head playing tricks on me.