Schizophrenia - General Discussion

Hey everyone, just wanted to drop in and say hi! It’s my first time hanging out on this forum. I spent a huge chunk of my life living abroad, so honestly, my grammar might be a little hit-or-miss, but I'm giving it my best shot. So, here's the deal: I've been battling schizophrenia for a long time now, but the big news—the real win—is that I finally feel like I've beaten the worst of it. I wanted to jump in here and share my story because, let's be real, that word "schizophrenia" sounds absolutely terrifying to most people, but it doesn't mean you can't get a handle on it and live your life. Right now, I'm staying on Ritalin and Lexapro to keep things steady. All those crazy symptoms I used to deal with—like those paranoid delusions where I thought someone was stalking me, or the auditory hallucinations, basically full-blown psychosis—all of that has vanished. And you know why? Because I actually took the time to face it head-on. I learned how my own mind works, and once you understand the mechanics of your own psyche, everything changes. It took a massive amount of time and effort, but I finally made it. These days, I make sure to get out and walk every single day, which is huge for keeping my mental health in check. Basically, I'm putting all my energy into staying healthy, and honestly, I don't really struggle with those mental issues anymore. So yeah, that's just a quick little intro from me.

I mean, looking at it now, if you’re actually taking care of yourself and living a bit healthier, then yeah—of course things are going to feel better. It’s pretty obvious that lifestyle plays a massive role in how a disease hits you. Stress, poor habits, all that stuff... it definitely makes a difference.

Paul Sullivan9 said:Hey everyone, just wanted to drop in and say hi! It’s my first time hanging out on this forum. I spent a huge chunk of my life living abroad, so honestly, my grammar might be a little hit-or-miss, but I'm giving it my best shot. So, here's the deal: I've been battling schizophrenia for a long time now, but the big news—the real win—is that I finally feel like I've beaten the worst of it. I wanted to jump in here and share my story because, let's be real, that word "schizophrenia" sounds absolutely terrifying to most people, but it doesn't mean you can't get a handle on it and live your life. Right now, I'm staying on Ritalin and Lexapro to keep things steady. All those crazy symptoms I used to deal with—like those paranoid delusions where I thought someone was stalking me, or the auditory hallucinations, basically full-blown psychosis—all of that has vanished. And you know why? Because I actually took the time to face it head-on. I learned how my own mind works, and once you understand the mechanics of your own psyche, everything changes. It took a massive amount of time and effort, but I finally made it. These days, I make sure to get out and walk every single day, which is huge for keeping my mental health in check. Basically, I'm putting all my energy into staying healthy, and honestly, I don't really struggle with those mental issues anymore. So yeah, that's just a quick little intro from me.

I'm a bit confused. You say you beat the illness, but you're still on medication? Did I catch that right?

Look, I take my meds because, honestly, they’re necessary right now. But the whole point isn't just popping pills; it's about finally wrapping my head around how this illness actually works. It’s like... back in the day, I was taking stuff and still felt like garbage—just constant symptoms hitting me from every angle. Now? Nothing. Zero. And that’s because I’ve been doing the actual work on myself. The medication isn't some magic wand, and I'm not looking at it to fix my life for me. I have to be the one to step up and deal with my own mess. My goal is to eventually ditch the Cipralex and just stick to one pill on Lexapro.

I'm scared. I truly admire everyone who has managed to recover, but I honestly don't think I'll be one of those success stories. I just went through a hospitalization, and since my medication still isn't quite right, all the symptoms are still hitting me hard.

Rebecca Rivera3 said:I'm scared. I truly admire everyone who has managed to recover, but I honestly don't think I'll be one of those success stories. I just went through a hospitalization, and since my medication still isn't quite right, all the symptoms are still hitting me hard.

The thing is, who has actually "cured" schizophrenia? Let’s be realistic here; there isn't some magic pill waiting to make this go away forever. I have friends living with this diagnosis, and from what I've seen, nobody is truly "cured"—it just varies in intensity from person to person. Some people deal with it constantly, while others barely notice it, but at the end of the day, if they find the right prescription, they can live perfectly normal lives. I want to believe in you, really I do, because you seem to view this as something that can be overcome, and I admire that optimism. We just have to find that specific cocktail of meds that works, and then you'll be fine.

I've heard from a few people that it can actually be curative...
Maria Allen6, thanks for the support.....

I’m right there with you, rooting for those tablets to finally work out for Rebecca Rivera3. Fingers crossed. Anyway, how was the hospital visit? Was it a total nightmare or actually a decent experience?

Paul Sullivan9 said:Look, I take my meds because, honestly, they’re necessary right now. But the whole point isn't just popping pills; it's about finally wrapping my head around how this illness actually works. It’s like... back in the day, I was taking stuff and still felt like garbage—just constant symptoms hitting me from every angle. Now? Nothing. Zero. And that’s because I’ve been doing the actual work on myself. The medication isn't some magic wand, and I'm not looking at it to fix my life for me. I have to be the one to step up and deal with my own mess. My goal is to eventually ditch the Cipralex and just stick to one pill on Lexapro.

I’m also trying to get by on the lowest possible dose that is still sustainable. The tricky part is that my stability fluctuates depending on whatever life is throwing at me. For instance, if I'm just hanging out at home without much on my plate, I need a much lighter regimen than if I were working a high-pressure job in Chicago. I've noticed that once I settle into a healthy routine and stay at the same job for a while, my need for heavy medication starts to decrease too.

Rebecca Rivera3 said:I'm scared. I truly admire everyone who has managed to recover, but I honestly don't think I'll be one of those success stories. I just went through a hospitalization, and since my medication still isn't quite right, all the symptoms are still hitting me hard.

What kind of treatment are you on right now? And which hospital were you staying at?

I was at Mayo Clinic... it was incredibly self-destructive... unfortunately, I was the worst case on the ward.
I am completely shattered; I’ve hit rock bottom. I don't even know if it can get any lower. It feels profoundly dark, gloomy, and lonely here. There is nothing and no one. Death is present here. I am dead. My very sense of self is gone.
After everything that has happened, I feel worse than ever before.

Rebecca Rivera3, I really hope you start feeling much better soon! 🙂

How does everyone else handle Clozapine when you take it? I took half of a 25 mg dose and ended up sleeping for 13 hours straight. To make matters worse, I felt totally out of it all day tomorrow—just groggy and sluggish.
I honestly don't know how any of you manage to function on this medication.

steelotter20 said:How does everyone else handle Clozapine when you take it? I took half of a 25 mg dose and ended up sleeping for 13 hours straight. To make matters worse, I felt totally out of it all day tomorrow—just groggy and sluggish.
I honestly don't know how any of you manage to function on this medication.

My routine usually involves taking 50mg at night, though some nights I'll stick to 25mg and other times I might go up to 75mg. It works wonders for managing psychosis, and it helps with insomnia too, provided that the sleeplessness is actually tied to psychotic symptoms. As far as using it strictly as a sleep aid on its own? I wouldn't say I know for sure.

I wasn't asking about the pros and cons here. I'm asking how you actually feel the next day. Do you end up feeling groggy, sluggish, or just totally out of it?

steelotter20 said:I wasn't asking about the pros and cons here. I'm asking how you actually feel the next day. Do you end up feeling groggy, sluggish, or just totally out of it?

I’m actually going through a bit of a low period right now, so I’ve dropped down to 25 mg.
>>I definitely feel slowed down, sleepy, and a bit depressed, but honestly, I think that's just because of the phase I'm currently in rather than the Lennon itself.

Aha. Got it. That’s exactly what Lennon is doing. I’ve definitely felt that way myself.

steelotter20 said:Aha. Got it. That’s exactly what Lennon is doing. I’ve definitely felt that way myself.

Every medication comes with its own set of pros and cons, so I suppose we all have to weigh whether the benefits truly outweigh the downsides. In my experience, Lennon is a solid, highly effective AP—honestly, probably one of the most reliable ones out there.
The drawbacks are pretty much everything we just talked about, including the hypersalivation. That said, I suspect we’re both on relatively low doses (especially you). Some people end up taking as much as 500 or 600 mg of Lennon a day. For me personally, it can be a bit tricky to tell which symptoms are side effects from the meds and which ones are actually negative psychosis symptoms, since those two things tend to overlap sometimes.

While I was in the hospital, I was also taking Lennon. It left me feeling so numb and foggy; I just couldn't sleep, and I had zero motivation.
I was prescribed a continuation of my treatment when I got home, but I haven't been taking it... I’m just exhausted by the whole chemical cycle. There aren't many medications left that I haven't tried, and it's always the same story: brutal side effects mixed in with the actual illness. Sometimes I honestly wonder which part of my state is the medication and which part is actually me. It's hard to tell them apart. The days didn't just pass—weeks, months, years vanished. I wasn't really "there" anymore. It was just a cycle of chemicals and the shifts they caused; I could practically predict my next mood based on which pill I had swallowed.
Swallowing painkillers like they're candy has become my new normal. They help dull the pain. I know it's not good... but it's the only way I can keep going.

My legs were basically giving out at home because of the Lennon—I’m talking total numbness. Even when I was staying at the hospital, I felt unsteady, like I was losing my footing constantly. So, yeah, I just stopped taking it. I decided to quit on my own terms. Now I'm just sticking to the Azilex—or whatever they call it—and taking some Bosaurin at night to actually get some sleep. Honestly, I'm kind of dreading seeing my psychiatrist about it; I feel like I'm going to get chewed out. It’s frustrating because right before I was discharged, they had already cut my dosage in half, but then someone on the discharge paperwork somehow doubled everything back up.

I can't quite put my finger on why there's such a massive difference between being at the hospital versus being at home. At home, the Lennon makes my legs just... fail. In the hospital, it was more of this constant weakness, like I couldn't keep my balance.

It’s probably just the human element, I guess. I was way more active in the hospital since I was actually talking to people, unlike how much I do at home.

But man, I’ve just completely fallen apart over these last six years—actually, it feels like a whole decade now—ever since I got sick. I've just become totally powerless.

I was watching this video the other day about liver health, and they were saying that anything I'm dealing with could potentially be caused by liver issues.