Emotional Intelligence: A blessing or a curse?

I’m not sure if anyone will get this, or even believe me. I really hope there are others out there like me because I could use some advice...
Ever since I was a little girl, I felt everything. I felt the whole world and everyone around me. I wasn't exactly a "typical" kid—didn't really follow the rules or go with the crowd, and I never judged other kids. I've always just been... different.
I eventually realized I have incredibly sharp intuition and high intelligence. My brain connects dots and processes info way faster than most people. I can see a problem from every possible angle instantly and pick the most realistic path based on my gut feeling.
I didn't have many friends back then. Crowds weren't my thing, and honestly, people didn't always like me because I'm too honest. Most people are a little afraid of the truth. I was pretty withdrawn and shy. But when I turned 16, I decided to completely reinvent myself—physically and personality-wise. I wanted to be strong and magnetic. Through a lot of hard work, I did it. I built myself into a complete person. Since 16, I've spent my time observing and analyzing people, sharpening that intuition and mental processing speed even more. But now, I've hit a bit of a breaking point...

I've become hyper-sensitive to other people's pain and emotions. I can feel the energy someone is radiating just by being near them, and I can read non-verbal cues perfectly. When I'm with someone—and this applies to everyone, but especially my partner—I find it impossible to hurt them or be selfish. I can't say the wrong thing because I already know exactly how they'll feel. I can't make mistakes because I'm too aware of their fears. I can't even afford to be a flawed human being.😢 - basically, I end up knowing a person better than they know themselves in such a short time.

I'm actually great at reading and influencing people, which is helpful for my career, though I'm totally sincere and rarely use it that way.

Sometimes I'll burst into tears over a news article because I feel the tragedy in the story so deeply. Yet, at the same time, I stay completely cold toward anything exaggerated or fake. If it isn't real, I don't feel it.

Some days, I feel like a robot. My brain is constantly bombarded by emotions and data, all being analyzed and processed. I often finish people's sentences before they even get them out. I remember everything—every word said, what I said, where we were, and exactly how everyone was reacting in that moment.

It's perfect sometimes, but other times... I just want it all to stop.😢 I feel like I'm going to lose my mind.

I'd really love to hear your thoughts or if you've experienced anything similar.

I know exactly how it feels.

Jason Sanchez3 said:...finishing sentences for people I care about before they can even get there... I just remember everything—every single thing anyone ever told me, or anything I said, where we were standing, what the vibe was, how everyone reacted in the moment...

Man, I totally feel this—though, okay, full disclosure, I don't remember everything quite that vividly! My brain isn't *that* much of a hard drive, haha. But honestly? The thing that really gets under my skin is when people are being fake or just straight-up lying. It’s just so weird, you know? Like, most of the time, being dishonest doesn't even benefit them, it just makes them look super shady in my book.

Man, after scrolling through a few posts on this sub, I actually had to double-check the name of this thing. Given the absolute chaos I just read, I was pretty damn sure the title was supposed to be "Psychiatry Ward."

little_devil said:I’m not sure if anyone will understand this, believe me, or if there are even people like this left. I truly hope there are, because I really need some advice....
Ever since I was a young girl, I felt everything—the energy of the world, the people around me. I wasn't a typical kid. I didn't follow the rules or just go along with the crowd, and I never looked down on other kids. I’ve always been... different.

What you have is called INTELLIGENCE.
As for what you're asking about—that thing called "emotional intelligence"—it is a bit like the Mormons in the USA:
Americans are so frustrated by the fact that they don't have an indigenous religion that they had to go ahead and invent one.
It's the same with foolish people. They want to be intelligent too. Various managers, scammers, bar owners... they all possess a very low form of intelligence known as PEASANT CUNNING.
Well, in modern times, with these trends where everyone wants to feel special—even though most people can't move an inch away from their herd—they invented the concept of EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE and stuffed their own CUNNING into it.
Basically, they pitted it against actual INTELLIGENCE and started claiming it is vaznij. So, the EQ of some dart player in a pub, or someone like Franc Ozbolt or Cinober, is supposedly more important than the IQ of Albert Einstein.
And I guess it will stay that way as long as American managers keep writing their life essays instead of focusing on what they actually know how to do: stealing.

VioletStorm said:What you’re describing is just plain old INTELLIGENCE.
The thing people call "emotional intelligence" is a lot like the Mormon faith in the USA:
Americans were so frustrated by the lack of an indigenous religion that they basically had to invent one from scratch.
It's the same with people who aren't very bright. They still want to be seen as intelligent. You see it with certain managers, scammers, even some shady guys working at local bars... they all possess a very low-level form of intellect known as STREET SMARTS.
In modern times, since there's this huge trend where everyone wants to feel special—even though most people can't think for themselves and just follow the herd—they cooked up the concept of EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE to repackage their own SHREWDNESS.
Then, they pitted it against actual INTELLIGENCE and started claiming it was VAZNIJ. Basically, they're saying the EQ of a guy working a dartboard at a dive bar, or someone like Franc Ozbolt or Cinober, is somehow more important than the IQ of Albert Einstein.
And honestly, that's going to keep happening as long as American managers spend their time writing self-help books instead of doing what they actually know how to do: stealing.

Cool post.. 😁

Emotional intelligence, African Americans, being vertically challenged. It's all so precious when those posh Americans act like they won't even soil their mouths with common language. Actually, you just gave me a great idea for my bio...

Author... I think this whole issue of being a pushover falls under a completely different category, not emotional intelligence.

little_devil said:I don't know if anyone will actually get this, or believe it, or if there are even other people out there like me—honestly, I really hope there are because I could use some advice...
Growing up, I felt everything—like, the whole world. I wasn't your typical kid; I didn't really follow the rules or care about what the majority was doing. I never mocked other kids, I was just... different.
Eventually, I realized I had this incredibly sharp intuition and high intelligence—my brain just connects dots and processes information way faster than most people. At any given moment, I can look at a problem from five different angles and pick out the one that’s actually realistic, regardless of how others see it...
I never had a huge circle of friends. Crowds weren't my thing. People didn't always take to me because I tend to be brutally honest, and let's face it, most people are kind of terrified of the truth. I used to be pretty withdrawn and shy... but when I hit 16, I decided to completely reinvent myself—physically, personality-wise—because I wanted to be strong and magnetic. Through a lot of hard work, I did it. I built myself into a complete person. Since I was 16, I've been observing people, analyzing them, and I've sharpened that intuition and that ability to process data even further... but now I've hit this critical turning point in my life...

I've become hyper-sensitive to other people's pain and emotions. I can feel the vibe of whoever is standing next to me; I sense the energy they're putting off, and on top of that, I can read non-verbal cues perfectly. When I'm with someone—and this applies to everyone, but especially my partner—I find it impossible to hurt them, to be selfish, or to be irrational. I can't say the wrong thing because I already know exactly how they'll feel; I can't make a mistake because I'm too aware of all their fears. I can't just be a flawed human being... 😢 because, honestly, in a very short amount of time, I end up knowing a person better than they know themselves...

I'm also quite good at manipulating people—which is great for certain career paths—but I'm fundamentally an honest person and rarely ever use that skill...

Sometimes I'll burst into tears reading a news article because I can actually feel the grief in the story, yet on the flip side, I stay completely cold toward any kind of exaggeration or fake emotion... anything that feels unrealistic...

There are moments where I feel like a robot. My brain is constantly bombarded by emotions and data points—it's just processing, processing, processing. I often finish people's sentences before they even get through them. I remember every single word someone told me, every word I said, the exact location where the conversation happened, and the specific emotions present and how everyone reacted...

Sometimes it's amazing, but other times... I just wish it would stop 😢 because I feel like I'm going to lose my mind...

I'm genuinely curious to hear your thoughts and experiences...

Personally, I wouldn't overthink the mystery of it all. There are plenty of us who feel things deeply—sensing injustices or getting choked up over a headline in the New York Times... but I'd just call it extreme empathy. Whether it's feeling upset or angry about an event that has nothing to do with me or anyone I love, I attribute it to that empathy. And truthfully, sometimes I feel like I might break under the weight of it, because I often find myself more consumed by other people's struggles and problems than my own.🙂

Jason Sanchez3, you’re pretty much run-of-the-mill in every sense, so don't sweat it... unless we're talking about how full of yourself you are. But then again, even that isn't a total dealbreaker.

Bruce Lee said:Emotional intelligence, an African American, vertically challenged. Those fancy, high-society Americans wouldn't even dream of dirtying their mouths with common slang.

Women - vaginal American🤣 😂 😍

Sure, empathy—which is just one part of emotional intelligence—is involved, but that’s not really my point. It’s kind of funny seeing people here bash emotional intelligence when there are so many different types out there, like spatial, verbal, mathematical, and so on...
I can’t say I’m particularly gifted with spatial intelligence compared to your average guy who might lean more toward that than verbal skills, for instance...
There's a clear distinction here... I honestly don't get why this division is even controversial...

I could have just stuck to what's actually eating at me—that feeling that people are on a completely different planet—but I wrote everything out so someone might actually relate and share their own story. I didn't want to sound stuck-up or like I was looking for a therapist or anything...

Since it seems like nobody else has dealt with what I'm talking about, well... I guess there's no point in keeping this thread open.

Look, I’m not attacking you—it’s totally fine to share what’s on your mind, really. But you know as well as I do that we don't all have to be carbon copies of one another, thinking exactly the same way.

I definitely saw myself in what you were saying... mostly because I think I might actually be *too* empathetic—to the point where it honestly feels like it borders on a clinical issue at this point.

Christian Doyle3 said:Oh, come on, I'm not attacking you! It's totally fine to share what's on your mind, but we don't all have to think exactly alike, right?

I really felt that. Maybe I'm just way too empathetic for my own good... bordering on a literal disorder at this point. haha.

Yeah, you've gotta learn how to separate other people's feelings from your own. Like, feel for them without letting it soak into your own skin...
It's tough though. Definitely hard.

Look, I’m telling you—it’s seeing someone else hurting that actually gets to me. It hits harder than anything anyone could ever do to me personally. I don't know, maybe I just have too much empathy or something... I always seem to find more room in my heart for other people's struggles and their messes than I do for my own.

Christian Doyle3 said:Honestly, seeing someone else hurting hits me way harder than my own stuff does. I guess I just have more empathy for other people's struggles than I do for my own life.

Yeah, I get that. Which basically means you'll probably end up putting everyone else's feelings before your own...

Sure, but it’s more than just that—I’m constantly overthinking ways I can step up and help people. Honestly? It’s a mix of genuine empathy and a bit of selfishness, too—because, let’s be real, I feel a lot better about myself when I know I’m not just sitting around on my hands while someone else is struggling through it.

Jason Sanchez3, don't go thinking you're some unique snowflake for seeing things that way; that's exactly why people here called you conceited. There are folks out there with a more developed sense of empathy—people who actually give a damn about others and feel what they feel, which makes life harder. It can be a massive struggle because they end up prioritizing everyone else over themselves... sometimes even leading to mental health issues, just like Christian Doyle3 mentioned.

Rebecca Flores5 said:Jason Sanchez3, don't go thinking you're the only one who feels this way—that's why some people here called you full of yourself. There are just people out there with higher Goldman Sachs levels, folks with more empathy and a deeper connection to others than most. It makes things harder for them. For some, it’s actually a huge struggle because they end up focusing entirely on everyone else and completely neglecting themselves... which can lead to mental health issues, just like Christian Doyle3 mentioned..

True, but my emotional intelligence isn't just "a little" higher. I hit that level when I was ten... never mind......
It's exhausting trying to explain this to someone who's never actually dealt with it.....

And yeah, it definitely causes mental strain, not to mention physical health problems too...
Eventually, you just have to learn how to manage everything you're feeling. I think I've already covered all that......

Yeah, I get it. Trust me, I know what you mean... let's not turn this into some contest over who on this forum is the most empathetic person alive... we hear you, and we're just trying to tell you that simply, without everyone feeling the need to lecture you on their specific way of doing things.

Rebecca Flores5 said:Yeah, I get it, and I totally see where you're coming from... let's not turn this into some contest over who's the most empathetic person on the forum. We hear you, really. That's why we're trying to say it simply, without everyone needing to write a whole essay about their own way of feeling things..

but I just said I was done explaining myself

So why even start a thread if you just want to deliver a monologue? You truly are misunderstood.😲