Emotional Intelligence: A blessing or a curse?

Gregory Turner35 said:Hey, you little devil. I’m right there with you on that whole thing about picking up on people's vibes and actually getting how they feel. For me, though, it all comes down to eye contact. Like, when I look someone straight in the eyes, I feel like I can just read their mind—know exactly what's going on in their head or how they're feeling. Some people have figured me out, though, and now they won't even look me in the eye.

Gregory Turner35 said:Hey, you little devil. I’m right there with you on that whole thing about picking up on people's vibes and actually getting how they feel. For me, though, it all comes down to eye contact. Like, when I look someone straight in the eyes, I feel like I can just read their mind—know exactly what's going on in their head or how they're feeling. Some people have figured me out, though, and now they won't even look me in the eye.

🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏

Maybe—and this is a big maybe—it's because people won't look you in the eye when you're staring them down like this emoji.😲

Angela Rogers2 said:🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏

Maybe—and this is a big maybe—it's because people won't look you in the eye when you're staring them down like this emoji.😲

Heh. I'm not staring. Three seconds is plenty for me. Seriously. 😛 😬

Gregory Turner35 said:Hey, you little devil. I’m right there with you on that whole thing about picking up on people's vibes and actually getting how they feel. For me, though, it all comes down to eye contact. Like, when I look someone straight in the eyes, I feel like I can just read their mind—know exactly what's going on in their head or how they're feeling. Some people have figured me out, though, and now they won't even look me in the eye.

And again, what exactly is so unusual or special about this?

Look, I get it—if you're already tangled up in some kind of... let's call them "unconventional" relationships, then yeah, it’s totally possible to...
If you actually bother to look him in the eye, you can read just about everything written there; you don't exactly need some special superpower to figure it out.

Aside from raw talent, you need serious training; otherwise, I don't see it going anywhere.

Honestly, I wouldn't mind having a little bit of that, or maybe even a whole lot more...
you know how it is... whatever you think you have, it’s never quite enough.
God, people are always breathing down my neck telling me I don't care enough, that I'm cold, that I'm this or that... blah blah blah...
and I don't know...
I used to be way more empathetic back in the day, but then it just sort of... I don't know, faded away on its own...
I used to be the type to jump in and help anyone out of any mess just because I felt bad for them, even when I knew damn well they were just trying to play me...
and I guess... life just does that to you, either it drains it all out of you or it builds up...
don't sweat it though. Having that kind of capacity is actually a pretty great thing to have...

Douglas Brown4 said:What you have is called INTELLIGENCE.
As for what you're asking about—that thing called "emotional intelligence"—it is a bit like the Mormons in the USA:
Americans are so frustrated by the fact that they don't have an indigenous religion that they had to go ahead and invent one.
It's the same with foolish people. They want to be intelligent too. Various managers, scammers, bar owners... they all possess a very low form of intelligence known as PEASANT CUNNING.
Well, in modern times, with these trends where everyone wants to feel special—even though most people can't move an inch away from their herd—they invented the concept of EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE and stuffed their own CUNNING into it.
Basically, they pitted it against actual INTELLIGENCE and started claiming it is vaznij. So, the EQ of some dart player in a pub, or someone like Franc Ozbolt or Cinober, is supposedly more important than the IQ of Albert Einstein.
And I guess it will stay that way as long as American managers keep writing their life essays instead of focusing on what they actually know how to do: stealing.

I think you’ve totally misread the whole EQ thing,
Look, you’re partially right, I guess, and yeah, if you have high EQ you might navigate certain things better in life and blah blah blah... fine, that’s all great when we're talking about corporate nonsense.
But generally speaking, having a high EQ is just good for your own happiness...
You don't need to be a shady street hustler, or a manipulative jerk, or some kind of con artist just to have high EQ; it’s more about simply understanding the world around you, accepting yourself, and being content with who you are...
Have you ever actually sat down and taken one of those tests? Because if you look at the questions...
They aren't questions like "how can you shift the blame onto someone else without anyone noticing"...
Most of them are more along the lines of "well, I don't really know"...
At the end of the day, EQ has everything to do with a person's overall satisfaction with life...

It’s truly a blessing. However, to possess such an immense capacity for empathy, one really must be psychologically mature, healthy, and emotionally stable... Can we truly be certain that this stems from genuine EQ rather than being driven by underlying neurosis? 😳

Gregory Turner35 said:Hey, you little devil. I’m right there with you on that whole thing about picking up on people's vibes and actually getting how they feel. For me, though, it all comes down to eye contact. Like, when I look someone straight in the eyes, I feel like I can just read their mind—know exactly what's going on in their head or how they're feeling. Some people have figured me out, though, and now they won't even look me in the eye.

Who knows what kind of eyes you've got if people are avoiding them in the first place?
Like, sunken and bloodshot... 😁

Gregory Turner35 said:Heh. I'm not staring. Three seconds is plenty for me. Seriously. 😛 😬

Wait, how did you even time that?
I mean, is it actually possible to maintain eye contact while checking your watch at the same time?
Oh, wait, I see what happened here.
It’s highly likely that while you were busy staring intently into their eyes, they were actually glancing down at their watch—so how exactly are you reading their mind now?
Everything makes sense to me all of a sudden.
And honestly, you’ve definitely found the right corner of this forum for these kinds of debates.😉

Morgan Bishop4 said:I think you’ve totally misread the whole EQ thing,
Look, you’re partially right, I guess, and yeah, if you have high EQ you might navigate certain things better in life and blah blah blah... fine, that’s all great when we're talking about corporate nonsense.
But generally speaking, having a high EQ is just good for your own happiness...
You don't need to be a shady street hustler, or a manipulative jerk, or some kind of con artist just to have high EQ; it’s more about simply understanding the world around you, accepting yourself, and being content with who you are...
Have you ever actually sat down and taken one of those tests? Because if you look at the questions...
They aren't questions like "how can you shift the blame onto someone else without anyone noticing"...
Most of them are more along the lines of "well, I don't really know"...
At the end of the day, EQ has everything to do with a person's overall satisfaction with life...

I think you might be misinterpreting EQ,
Okay, you aren't entirely wrong, and sure, if you have high EQ, you might navigate certain things better in life—fine, let's say regarding corporate nonsense.
But generally speaking, having high EQ is just good for your own happiness.
You don't have to be street smart, manipulative, or some kind of con artist to have high EQ; it's really just about understanding your surroundings, accepting yourself, and being content with who you are.
Have you ever actually sat down and taken one of those tests? Just look at how the questions are framed.
They aren't questions like "In what way can you shift blame onto someone else without anyone noticing?"
Instead, they are mostly things like "Well, I guess..." type scenarios.
At its core, EQ is deeply connected to a person's overall satisfaction with life.
Violet made a great point here.
The concept of EQ is actually starting to fade away even in the US, which is where it originated in the first place.
Intelligence, by its very definition, is something innate and relatively constant that stays with you your whole life,
from birth (with perhaps very minor deviations).
"Emotional intelligence" feels more like an attempt to define a sociological relationship between individuals, but since those dynamics are so conditioned by circumstances and so easily changed by life itself, it seems pretty pointless to label it as a form of intelligence at all, emotional or otherwise.

Emotional intelligence isn't about getting swept up in the feeling or letting it eat you alive—it’s about seeing it for what it is and actually processing it 🙂

Thomas Martinez67 said:Wait, how did you even time that?
I mean, is it actually possible to maintain eye contact while checking your watch at the same time?
Oh, wait, I see what happened here.
It’s highly likely that while you were busy staring intently into their eyes, they were actually glancing down at their watch—so how exactly are you reading their mind now?
Everything makes sense to me all of a sudden.
And honestly, you’ve definitely found the right corner of this forum for these kinds of debates.😉

God, you guys are hilarious... 😘 😬

quietpilot87 said:Emotional intelligence isn't about getting swept up in the feeling or letting it eat you alive—it’s about seeing it for what it is and actually processing it 🙂

Wait, is he talking about me? 😘

To the topic header 😉

Gregory Turner35 said:Wait, is he talking about me? 😘

Man, you're just asking me how to go about trying it like that? :P

Christian Doyle3 said:Sure, but it’s more than just that—I’m constantly overthinking ways I can step up and help people. Honestly? It’s a mix of genuine empathy and a bit of selfishness, too—because, let’s be real, I feel a lot better about myself when I know I’m not just sitting around on my hands while someone else is struggling through it.

If that's the case, why didn't you just ask for advice on how to help that other person instead of making this post🙂?

I totally get where you're coming from

Jason Sanchez3 said:I actually topped my psychology class back in college 😍
I just can't wrap my head around someone calling something as vital as emotional intelligence "manipulative"...
It’s honestly pretty ignorant and, frankly, not very bright...

If you were truly the star pupil of your psychology program, then you likely learned that the term "emotional intelligence" is essentially just a rebranding of social intelligence.

Social intelligence has been a defined concept since the 1920s, and just a few years later, people began discussing its "emotional" aspects as a subset of social interaction. Then, in 1995, the charlatan Daniel Goleman released his "blockbuster" book "Emotional Intelligence," which became a massive hit among the general public, even though it faced (entirely justified) backlash within academic circles because Goleman didn't actually uncover anything groundbreaking.

It sounds like you might have been out sick during those lectures. 😉

@ little devil

And now I’m noticing that you’re also the one driving these entire discussion threads...

Well, since you claim to have studied psychology, you supposedly have all the answers, so let me offer a brief paradigm shift for you;

The fact that we think something is doesn't necessarily mean it is the truth. Based on what you've written here, I would venture to say you actually possess some rather distorted intra- and inter-personal intelligence. Which specific assessments did you actually take?

In any case, I strongly suggest you go see a professional psychologist...

A psychiatrist? 😁

Another thread about intelligence, I guess? 😠