Psychologists and psychiatrists: Looking for your input/advice

Hey,
I’ve got a question for the psychologists or psychiatrists out there—honestly, I don't even know which one handles this kind of mess:
So, here’s the deal; last year my then-girlfriend got pregnant, and I popped the question. She said yes, but then, out of nowhere, she went and had an abortion the very next day, which absolutely wrecked me. To make things worse, she moved out of town, and when she finally came back, she and her mother started spinning these massive lies, claiming I forced her into it, attacking my family, and just straight-up lying about everyone involved.
Now, whenever my ex sees me, she starts screaming like I personally murdered everything she ever loved.
My question is: how would you actually describe this behavior from a psychological or psychiatric standpoint? Both the lying and the whole situation?
Her mom has always been a total wreck with her mental health, so I can't help but wonder if this is some kind of hereditary thing?
Also, during pregnancy—she was only about ten weeks along—can hormones really flip someone's switch that hard and make them do something like this? Because we had never even breathed a word about it before, and everything seemed totally perfect and idyllic.

Thanks for any insight you guys can give me.

Paul Cook33 said:Hi there,
I have a question for any psychologists or psychiatrists out there—honestly, I’m not even sure which profession would best address this:
Here is the situation; last year, my then-girlfriend got pregnant, so I proposed to her. She accepted, but then, despite everything, she went to get an abortion the very next day, which absolutely devastated me. To make matters worse, she left town entirely, and when she eventually returned, both she and her mother started spreading these blatant lies, claiming I had coerced her into it. They’ve been attacking my family and telling falsehoods about all of us.
Now, whenever my ex sees me, she starts screaming at me as if I were some kind of monster who took everything from her.
My question is: how would psychology or psychiatry categorize this behavior? Both the deception and the act itself?
Also, her mother struggles quite a bit with her mental health and nerves, so I can't help but wonder if these tendencies might be hereditary.
Finally, during pregnancy (she was about ten weeks along), can hormonal shifts be intense enough to cause someone to act this way? We had never even discussed the possibility, and everything between us seemed so perfect and idyllic at the time.

Thanks to everyone for your input.

...you should ask your uncle in New York City...he probably knows everything there is to know about women...

Jamie Johnson6 said:...just ask your uncle in New York City...he's basically an expert on women...

Honestly, feel free to just grab a shotgun and fire a warning shot directly into your own skull.

Paul Cook33 said:You’re more than welcome to grab a shotgun and fire a warning shot straight into your own head if you feel like it.

...I really think you should take another look at my previous reply...and try to connect the dots on your own...specifically regarding your ongoing struggles with women...we aren't nearly as mysterious as you seem to think we are...even when we're expecting a baby.

Paul Cook33 said:I really appreciate everyone taking the time to share their thoughts and feedback

If you wouldn't mind... I'll ask one more time
🤣

Jamie Johnson6 said:...just read my reply again...and maybe try to connect the dots on your own...like, those issues you have with women...we aren't actually that hard to figure out...even when we're pregnant

I'll bet my life on it. I might know how to get you there, but I have zero clue what's actually going on in your heads.

Paul Cook33 said:In my opinion, absolutely. I might be able to help you reach a climax, but I certainly can't read your mind to know what's actually going on in your head.

...the money coming in... I suppose just
🤣

Jamie Johnson6 said:...the cash coming in... I guess just
🤣

I have absolutely no clue what you're talking about...

Paul Cook33 said:Hey there,
I have a question for any psychologists or psychiatrists out there—honestly, I’m not even sure which is which:
So, here is the deal; last year my then-girlfriend got pregnant, and I actually proposed to her. She said yes, but then, despite everything, she went to get an abortion the very next day. I was absolutely devastated. To make matters worse, she left town entirely, and when she finally came back, both she and her mother started spreading these lies, claiming I forced her into it. They’ve been attacking my family and just lying about all of us.
Now, whenever my ex sees me, she starts screaming and making a scene, acting like I’m some kind of monster who took everything from her.
My question is: how would psychology, or maybe psychiatry, describe this behavior? Both the lying and the act itself?
Also, her mother has always struggled with her mental health, so I can't help but wonder if this is something hereditary?
And, I guess, do hormones during pregnancy (she was about ten weeks along) really shift things enough to cause someone to act like this? We had never even discussed it before; everything seemed so perfect and idyllic.

Thanks to everyone for the input.

I don't think it's a hormone thing, honestly. It feels more like women experience unplanned pregnancies or abortions as massive traumas, regardless of the circumstances.

If what you wrote is true, she doesn't sound fair at all. In fact... when she walks by you, just take it on the chin and keep moving.

Some girls just don't seem to grasp that making a baby requires two people, so they blame you for everything.🙄

Actually, I know a similar situation. This woman I know doesn't just scream at her ex; she screams at every living soul she encounters now. And to top it off, the week she got pregnant, she was sleeping with three different guys... all without protection, of course. Now, she blames the whole world for the trauma.

Jamie Johnson6 said:...just ask your uncle in New York City...he's practically an expert on women...

What the hell is your problem?

What do you think it would have been like if a woman struggling with mental illness had given birth to a child who inherited those same issues?

You should be glad you finally moved on from her!

I’m with the image on this one—stay happy and keep that energy up.

It’s probably for the best that things came to light now. I mean, did you honestly think you guys were getting married or something?!

I could sit here and break it all down—but there’s really no point. A psychiatrist would give you a formal diagnosis, but honestly, Imago’s way of putting it sums it up perfectly enough for anyone to understand.

You should be glad you finally cut ties. You’re only 21; there's no reason to spend the rest of your life making things miserable by getting married... especially to someone so unstable. 😉

Hey there!
Folks, can we talk about that kid and his whole situation?
How many of you actually remember being thirteen?

Paul Cook33 said:...last year my girlfriend got pregnant and I proposed. She said yes, but then she went out and had an abortion the very next day. I lost it.

Are you sure you aren't missing something here? 🙄 It doesn't make sense to me that a woman would get engaged one day and go for an abortion the next. 😕

placidjackal15 said:Are you sure you didn't miss something here? 🙄 It seems totally wild to me that a woman would go for an abortion just a day after getting proposed to. 😕

Sadly, I didn't miss a single thing.

It’s a standard reaction. She decided to throw it all away because she felt guilty, and she lied to herself before she even acted. Now, she acts hysterical whenever you're around because you're a constant reminder of the very thing she's trying to suppress. 🙂

I mean, there's no other way, I just had to pack up and move on with my life, but man, that one realization just hits like a freight train—knowing her child was actually mine. That's the only part that truly hurts.

Harold Turner2 said:It’s a standard reaction. She decided to throw everything away—she felt guilty, she lied before acting—and now she starts acting hysterical whenever you’re around because you’re a walking reminder of what she's trying to bury.🙂

That’s how I saw it too—just a hysterical defense mechanism to cover up her own mess. Either way, it's totally irrational and, honestly, borders on psychopathology.

Dealing with the kid situation is brutal if that's how you're feeling. But hey, time heals most things.

And look, if there's some shady stuff you did that you haven't mentioned here—making you feel guilty about her behavior—well, conscience is a heavy weight to carry. If you need to, talk it out with friends, a therapist, or even a priest... just do whatever helps lighten the load.

So, how long have you two actually been together?
And how old is she, anyway?