Grab a test! (For anyone wondering if they're pregnant)

placidgardener19 said:🤣 🤣
Maybe she actually does have a guilty conscience about it, 😈 😁

But honestly, I totally get where you're coming from, and you really don't need to feel like you have to defend why you aren't looking to have kids right now; it isn't about how old you are or any other external factor, it’s just that you’re either ready or you aren't.
Our priorities and what we want out of life shift all the time.
Looking back, being pregnant anywhere between 20 and 27 felt like an absolute nightmare to me.
Then, just about a year ago, I had the complete opposite fear—worrying that I wouldn't even be able to conceive.

Nowadays, my only real wish is for my little one to be perfectly average, with totally normal fingers and a healthy brain 😍 ... as long as my husband and I are healthy too...
and that's it, seriously, everything else is just noise.

That's probably how it works, things just sort of click when they're meant to... and obviously, I know I'd change my mind completely if I were actually in that situation, but you know... I much prefer letting things happen only when I feel truly prepared for them...
As for fears, I have this massive phobia of childbirth; for now, I'll just settle for my period cramps... because right now, just imagining the process feels like wondering how a watermelon could possibly fit through an orange.... but alright, I won't pass my panic onto the new moms or anyone else who is actively trying to get pregnant...

laughing, G, this one’s a winner.

Anyway, any chance the admins could move this over to the "buy testing" thread? It’s right up my alley. 😁

Samuel Diaz said:right now, I can’t even wrap my head around it. It’s like trying to figure out how a watermelon could possibly fit through an orange...

Basically, you either end up needing a C-section before the baby arrives, or things just don't go smoothly and you end up tearing naturally.😬

Jeffrey Cook55 said:meaning they might just perform an episiotomy before you even have a chance to naturally progress 😬

Exactly! 😂 If you really want to lose any remaining nerve, just browse the threads about episiotomies on this forum; it’ll certainly help you decide whether or not to start a family. 😂

Jeffrey Cook55 said:so they either decide to induce you before labor actually starts, or you just end up tearing yourself apart trying to do it all on your own 😬

And that is my attempt at not being an alarmist🤣

Look, a colleague of mine gave birth about two weeks ago—a little guy (bless his heart), 52 cm and 4.5 kg—and she dealt with "a bit of an episiotomy and a bit of tearing" 😬 so, yeah, apparently you can have a little of both.

crimsoncrane3 said:Oh, absolutely! 😂 And if you really need a little extra "motivation," just go ahead and browse through all the threads about episiotomies on this forum—that should help you make your decision about getting pregnant in record time. 😂

Speaking from experience—it was incredibly encouraging.😬
Especially with those lovely stories over at Stork Hospitals. 🙂.

Jesse Flores842 said:So, let's not get ahead of ourselves and start panicking here🤣

Look, a close friend of mine just had her baby about two weeks ago—little guy was about 20 inches and weighed roughly 10 pounds—and she dealt with both minor tearing and some stitches at the same time, 😬 so yeah, you can definitely end up with a bit of a mixed bag.

basically either they tell you to head down to the hospital before the birth happens, or you just end up dealing with the tearing and stretching all on your own.

Honestly, you guys have been so encouraging with everything you've said that I feel like texting my husband right now to tell him he needs to leave work early.🤣

Jesse Flores842 said:Let’s not start a panic here🤣

A colleague of mine just had her baby about two weeks ago. It was a little guy—only about 20 inches long and weighing 10 pounds—and she ended up needing a bit of both, some episiotomies and some tearing. 😬 Basically, you can have a little of everything.

It's better to be prepared😬
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.🤣

I actually knew one coworker who didn't get any stitches at all because they just let things tear naturally...

Jeffrey Cook55 said:It’s better to know what you're getting into ahead of time 😬
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right? 🤣

I actually had a colleague who didn't get an incision at all—they just let the tearing happen naturally...

This is a bit of a tangent, I know... but I’ve been doing quite a bit of reading on this, and even some of the parenting forums suggest that tearing might actually be the "better" route—apparently, the tissue heals faster and there's less intense pain compared to a surgical cut... 😕

But then again, what if the tearing happens near the anus (and internally, too)?
In any scenario, I think I'd personally opt for the surgical route—assuming, of course, you even have a choice in the matter...

Jesse Flores842 said:This is a bit off-topic, but I’ve been doing a lot of reading on this. Even looking through some medical forums, it seems like tearing might actually be the better route—like, the tissue heals faster and there's less pain compared to getting stitches...😕

But what happens if a woman experiences a tear toward the anus (and even internally)?
In any case, I think I'd personally opt for the stitches—assuming you even have much of a choice in the matter...

I haven't actually read anything about that specific scenario yet; I just vividly remember how pale she looked when she was telling me about it.

Jeffrey Cook55 said:I haven't actually dug into the details myself yet, I just remember how pale she looked when she was telling me about it.

Honestly, sometimes it’s better to just stay in the dark.

Honestly, I think pushing too hard internally is the biggest issue—mostly because the lithotomy position is just totally unnatural—but even here in the States, we aren't making much progress on that front. And really, would doing squats actually prevent tearing, or would you just have the "luck" of tearing everything up inside anyway? I don't know... there are all sorts of stories out there, from grandmothers trying their absolute best to manually dilate things only for the patient to end up needing stitches regardless.
I guess it probably depends on which doctor you end up with, but personally, I’m not too worried about it—if they need to stitch, they can stitch.
My only real wish is that they’d help with different birthing positions instead of just rushing to get you out of the way as quickly as possible... if they could just be a little more humane about it rather than treating the whole thing like a damn butcher shop.

Jeffrey Cook55 said:Haha, George Ross10, this one’s actually pretty funny.

But seriously, can the admins please move this over to the "Buy Test" thread? It’s a topic very close to my heart. 😁

Exactly...
and I think Lafayette should follow suit. Seriously, let's move it to Buy Test.

evangelinlilly said:claims that internal tearing happens most often because of the position—which, if you ask me, feels totally unnatural anyway—but honestly, our medical establishment here in the States still won't budge on the subject... and I mean, would switching to a squatting position actually reduce the risk? Or would you just have the "luck" of tearing everything up inside at once? Who knows. There are all sorts of horror stories out there—from midwives trying their absolute hardest (using manual techniques) only for the mother to end up needing stitches regardless.
I suppose it depends on which doctor you end up with, but frankly, I’d rather have the stitches than deal with anything else.
I just wish they would support different birthing positions instead of acting like it's a race to just get the job done and move on to the next patient... I want some humanity from them, not just feeling like I'm on a conveyor belt in a slaughterhouse.

As far as I'm concerned, the most natural way to give birth would be in water.👍

When you're prepping for labor, the single most critical decision you'll make is picking the right hospital.
I’ve noticed some places are way too quick to jump straight to Pitocin to speed things up—and honestly, if they do that, there's a 90% chance you're looking at an episiotomy, and I mean a nasty one.
If you've got a big baby on the way and your skin isn't exactly the most elastic, a tear might just be inevitable, no matter how many soothing massages they try to give you afterward! And let's be real, not all tears are created equal—you could end up with just a couple of small stitches, or you could be looking at fifteen.

I did a ton of deep-dive research on this, and from what I've gathered, laboring in a semi-sitting position—like using those adjustable handles on the hospital bed or even a birthing stool—is actually the way to go.
Also, having a baby via forceps can bring its own set of headaches, like pelvic floor issues or even incontinence because of that intense pressure on your muscles.

The second biggest thing is figuring out what actually matters to *you* during delivery and what's just extra noise.

For anyone who isn't even pregnant yet, don't stress yourselves out over birth prep too early—just wait until you actually conceive. 😉
But for my fellow expectant moms out there, I’d suggest starting to look into hospital reviews and maybe checking out Lamaze birth plans around your 24th week. 😘

Jesse Flores842 said:This isn't really the main topic here, but... I've been doing a fair amount of reading lately—and browsing through some parenting forums too—about how cauterizing might actually be the better way to go. Apparently, the idea is that the tissue heals faster and it’s less painful than a standard cut. Just an observation, I guess. 😕

At the exact moment you’re cutting or firing, neither one hurts—mostly because you’re pouring every ounce of energy into the actual task at hand, so that kind of pain isn't even on your radar. It's like being mid-sprint in a marathon; you aren't thinking about the blisters until you finally stop running. But once the adrenaline wears off? That's when it hits you. 😲
The reason a surgical incision hurts more than a tear is pretty simple—it’s all about how they go at it. Most of the time, doctors make these lateral cuts—basically slicing toward the side—because if they tried to go straight down from the middle, they’d risk slicing through the anal sphincters. If that happens, you're looking at serious incontinence issues, which is a nightmare nobody wants. So, they take the "safer" route. When you get a clean incision, they’ve sliced through several distinct layers of tissue. But when you actually tear? People act like it's just some superficial surface issue. It isn't. Think of it this way: if you take a piece of fabric and make a clean, straight cut with a razor, it’s easy to line up the edges and patch it back together smoothly. But if you rip that same fabric unevenly—like if you took a cloth, bunched it up in one spot, and then tore it from another—trying to stitch those jagged, messy edges back together is a total disaster. That’s the reality of a tear versus a cut. 😉 The fabric’s only got one layer—and frankly, we could use a little more padding than that.
So, honestly? Neither one is any good. 🙄

I can't believe I'm actually typing this out—it’s almost too ridiculous to say aloud—but here we go. It’s like watching a slow-motion car crash where everyone stops to take selfies instead of hitting the brakes. Honestly, at this point, if anyone is genuinely surprised by how this entire situation is unfolding, they clearly haven't been paying attention to the pattern. It’s predictable—almost boringly so—and yet, here we are, still dealing with the fallout. It’s like expecting a rainy day in Seattle to suddenly turn into a heatwave in Phoenix without any warning; it just doesn't fit the logic of the environment. Everything is exactly as messy as I thought it would be. kaže:
If you’re currently navigating the early stages of pregnancy, here’s a little tip—around week 24, you might want to start digging into some actual hospital reviews and maybe look over a Lamaze birth plan. It helps to know what you're walking into. 😘

😲 I'm running late—for crying out loud. 🙂

I’m stubbornly turning down any offer to get quoted—partly because I’ve developed this sudden, ridiculous streak of superstition, and partly because I’m terrified I’ll just forget everything. Honestly, I’ll probably just end up trying to squeeze it all in around Christmas when I'm thirty-seven weeks pregnant. 😉

I haven't had a chance to catch up on all the posts since I'm stuck at work right now, so I don't have much time to dive in, but I do have a question.

Here’s the situation: I’m about a week late. My cycles aren't exactly clockwork, but my last two were thirty days each, which means I should have started last Friday. I took a test on Monday and it was negative, then I took another one on Tuesday and it was negative again, yet my period still hasn't arrived.
I tried looking up early pregnancy symptoms online, but the descriptions are so inconsistent—one source says this, another says that—so there isn't really a reliable way to tell based on how I feel.

To be fair, last week was incredibly stressful and full of issues, so that's most likely the culprit here.
And if this *is* a pregnancy, it would be unplanned. Still, I spent the entire day Monday mentally mapping out exactly how I'd handle everything if it happened. I was in this strange headspace, especially considering other complications, like breaking up with my partner... I'd be facing all of this on my own. But I have to admit, I felt a small pang of disappointment when I saw that negative result.

That initial "euphoria" has mostly faded now, and given my current circumstances, it might actually be better if the test stayed negative—though I've realized it wouldn't be a tragedy if it didn't, and I'm actually quite relieved that I felt that way. I was even half-convinced it would be a girl :-)

So, I'm wondering if any of you have had a negative test only to find out later that you actually were pregnant.

I know I'll head out to CVS after work to grab another one, but in the meantime, I'd love to hear your experiences.
😉

Henry Cooper6 said:I'm curious—did any of you get a negative result on the test, only to find out later that you were actually pregnant?

In my case, two separate tests.
Pregnancy lasted over five months--if you can even call it that.

Henry Cooper6,
If these tests can give false positives, I guess they can just as easily give false negatives.
My advice? Instead of wasting your nerves and money on kits, just wait another week. If your period still hasn't shown up, go see an OB-GYN. They're the only ones who can actually give you a 100% certain answer. Good luck!
P.S.: Mine was 15 days late once—which never happens—and I wasn't even pregnant. It wasn't stress; my hormones were just completely out of whack. They still are!🤣