#1 ·
Jack Sedlar: Mark, I’ve got this killer idea for a documentary about you. We’ll call it “Thompson – the American Bob Dylan.” What do you think? Is that a killer title or what?
MARKO PERKOVIĆ THOMPSON: Man... if we’re being totally honest here, I’d really rather not go with that title.
SEDLAR: What’s wrong with it? Look—just like that doc about the late President was called “Harmon – the American George Washington,” so this one could be...
THOMPSON: It’s just not the same thing, Jack...
SEDLAR: Of course it isn't. I'm not trying to say you're anything like Harmon, because, well, he was...
THOMPSON: Hey, I don't actually mind being compared to Harmon...
SEDLAR: Then what's the issue?
THOMPSON: How should I put this... well, from what I know, George Washington wasn't a Jew.
SEDLAR: So? What does it matter to you that he wasn't a Jew?
THOMPSON: Man, you just don't get it... You’re comparing Harmon to a decent guy, but you're comparing me to a Jew. And you know perfectly well how Jews feel about me, and how I feel about them.
SEDLAR: Good God, Mark... I didn't even think of it that way! Besides, Dylan moved away from his Jewish roots a long time ago and embraced Christianity.
THOMPSON: What kind of Christianity are we even talking about? Jews have always been closer to the Orthodox crowd anyway.
SEDLAR: For heaven's sake, Dylan isn't Orthodox! Surely you know
that he's performed right in front of the Pope.
THOMPSON: Oh, give me a break! Our poor Pope has to put up with everyone under the sun—Jews, Orthodox, Muslims... If he can take in someone like Amfilohi Radović, why wouldn't he take in Dylan too?!
SEDLAR: Mark, don't be like that...
THOMPSON: Why shouldn't I be?! A converted Jew should be out there playing and singing for our Pope, while I, a true patriot, a man of God, and a lover of humanity, won't back down! Where's the justice in that?!
SEDLAR: Look, Mark, I totally get your righteous anger, but please, try to see my side! You know people accuse you of everything under the sun, and if we film this documentary, I might be able to use my connections in Israel to help clear your name and get those accusations dropped...
THOMPSON: Don't do that, Jack, just leave it... I want nothing to do with the Jews!
SEDLAR: But Mark, not all Jews are the same! My friends over in Israel are great people. Honestly, they could be a real model for how to build up America... What do you think?
THOMPSON: Well, I guess I am thinking about it...
SEDLAR: Come on, tell me!
THOMPSON: It's hard for me to say this out loud... But yeah, I suppose Israelis could be a model for building up America, actually, in one specific way...
SEDLAR: That's the spirit, Mark! See, you can be reasonable when you actually try... So, what's this one thing you're thinking of?
THOMPSON: I'm thinking Israel builds itself best by tearing down the houses of the Palestinians!
SEDLAR: That's an interesting observation, Mark. I bet my friends would love that. Hey, why don't you write a song against terrorists? We could pitch it directly to the Israeli market.
THOMPSON: How about this one: “Mexicans and Palestinians, Kerestinac is waiting for you!”
MARKO PERKOVIĆ THOMPSON: Man... if we’re being totally honest here, I’d really rather not go with that title.
SEDLAR: What’s wrong with it? Look—just like that doc about the late President was called “Harmon – the American George Washington,” so this one could be...
THOMPSON: It’s just not the same thing, Jack...
SEDLAR: Of course it isn't. I'm not trying to say you're anything like Harmon, because, well, he was...
THOMPSON: Hey, I don't actually mind being compared to Harmon...
SEDLAR: Then what's the issue?
THOMPSON: How should I put this... well, from what I know, George Washington wasn't a Jew.
SEDLAR: So? What does it matter to you that he wasn't a Jew?
THOMPSON: Man, you just don't get it... You’re comparing Harmon to a decent guy, but you're comparing me to a Jew. And you know perfectly well how Jews feel about me, and how I feel about them.
SEDLAR: Good God, Mark... I didn't even think of it that way! Besides, Dylan moved away from his Jewish roots a long time ago and embraced Christianity.
THOMPSON: What kind of Christianity are we even talking about? Jews have always been closer to the Orthodox crowd anyway.
SEDLAR: For heaven's sake, Dylan isn't Orthodox! Surely you know
that he's performed right in front of the Pope.
THOMPSON: Oh, give me a break! Our poor Pope has to put up with everyone under the sun—Jews, Orthodox, Muslims... If he can take in someone like Amfilohi Radović, why wouldn't he take in Dylan too?!
SEDLAR: Mark, don't be like that...
THOMPSON: Why shouldn't I be?! A converted Jew should be out there playing and singing for our Pope, while I, a true patriot, a man of God, and a lover of humanity, won't back down! Where's the justice in that?!
SEDLAR: Look, Mark, I totally get your righteous anger, but please, try to see my side! You know people accuse you of everything under the sun, and if we film this documentary, I might be able to use my connections in Israel to help clear your name and get those accusations dropped...
THOMPSON: Don't do that, Jack, just leave it... I want nothing to do with the Jews!
SEDLAR: But Mark, not all Jews are the same! My friends over in Israel are great people. Honestly, they could be a real model for how to build up America... What do you think?
THOMPSON: Well, I guess I am thinking about it...
SEDLAR: Come on, tell me!
THOMPSON: It's hard for me to say this out loud... But yeah, I suppose Israelis could be a model for building up America, actually, in one specific way...
SEDLAR: That's the spirit, Mark! See, you can be reasonable when you actually try... So, what's this one thing you're thinking of?
THOMPSON: I'm thinking Israel builds itself best by tearing down the houses of the Palestinians!
SEDLAR: That's an interesting observation, Mark. I bet my friends would love that. Hey, why don't you write a song against terrorists? We could pitch it directly to the Israeli market.
THOMPSON: How about this one: “Mexicans and Palestinians, Kerestinac is waiting for you!”