Body issues / Physical concerns

For as long as I can remember, I’ve had this intense desire to stay covered up; I never wanted anyone to see me without clothes except for my immediate family. My earliest memories of this feeling stem from those frequent trips to the ER because of stomach issues. Even as a little kid—maybe four years old—I’d end up at the local hospital at least once a month because my stomach was hurting so badly. And, naturally, the doctor would ask my dad to help undress me so he could perform an exam. I felt so incredibly uncomfortable and exposed every single time. That feeling just persisted through my entire childhood and has stuck with me all the way into adulthood. By the time I hit puberty, I wouldn't even want to walk around in just a bra or without shorts in front of my mom and sister, which felt strange since neither of them seemed to struggle with anything like that.

I can certainly wrap my head around how these feelings might evolve later in life—you know, things involving body image or self-acceptance—but I truly cannot grasp why I felt this way when I was only four years old, just a tiny, fragile child. I haven't been able to find anything online that describes this specific experience, and I’m genuinely curious about what might be causing it. Perhaps someone said something to me back then that triggered this fear? I'd love to know if anyone else has gone through something similar.

Hey girl, listen...
You really gotta tell yourself this isn't a big deal. I actually had a mastectomy and went through the exact same mental struggle—just a total complex about it. I felt like I’d never be able to strip down in front of anyone again. I started hoarding all these different pads and stupid little things just to hide what was missing. One day, I just got sick of my own BS and decided—that's it, I don't care anymore, I'm hitting the pool every single day. It sucked at first, but as time went on, I got used to it and honestly? I have zero issues with it now. You just have to get it through your head that you're beautiful regardless, and people aren't staring at you nearly as much as you think they are. Just relax and live your life...
Best of luck,
silentbadger59

Roger Morgan4 said:For as long as I can remember, I’ve had this intense desire to stay covered up; I never wanted anyone to see me without clothes except for my immediate family. My earliest memories of this feeling stem from those frequent trips to the ER because of stomach issues. Even as a little kid—maybe four years old—I’d end up at the local hospital at least once a month because my stomach was hurting so badly. And, naturally, the doctor would ask my dad to help undress me so he could perform an exam. I felt so incredibly uncomfortable and exposed every single time. That feeling just persisted through my entire childhood and has stuck with me all the way into adulthood. By the time I hit puberty, I wouldn't even want to walk around in just a bra or without shorts in front of my mom and sister, which felt strange since neither of them seemed to struggle with anything like that.

I can certainly wrap my head around how these feelings might evolve later in life—you know, things involving body image or self-acceptance—but I truly cannot grasp why I felt this way when I was only four years old, just a tiny, fragile child. I haven't been able to find anything online that describes this specific experience, and I’m genuinely curious about what might be causing it. Perhaps someone said something to me back then that triggered this fear? I'd love to know if anyone else has gone through something similar.

Since you have "LEAVE ME ALONE" in your signature, it seems like you're a pretty private person in general. In my experience, we shouldn't fight our own nature. If you're reserved—then be reserved. That's just who you are.

Some people are outgoing, totally uninhibited and open, while others are more closed off, modest, and don't care for showing their intimate selves. You might simply fall into that second category, and if you do, there's no reason to try to be someone you aren't. Personally, I think both ways are perfectly fine. You just have to stay true to yourself.

However, if you're feeling genuine fear, horror, or any intense negative emotion regarding nudity in general, then maybe it's worth doing some deeper work on your body image to try and move past those feelings step-by-step.🙂

I recall being an incredibly wild child until about age three. I insisted on walking around the house completely naked and refused to wear clothes for anything at all... I even once bolted out of the apartment toward the elevator totally bare, which resulted in my mother giving me a firm scolding.... Everyone was baffled by such stubbornness regarding getting dressed...
then, around the age of four or five, I remember constantly burying myself in piles of laundry because I felt a deep sense of aversion toward my own body. Even routine checkups at the doctor or any kind of physical contact felt repulsive to me... though, truth be told, I had much deeper reasons for that...

Being naked makes a person feel vulnerable, and you probably feel that way too. Besides, why should anyone even be looking? It’s all perfectly normal. I suspect you're a private person, which is fine, but I think you still need to learn how to accept your body as part of who you are. It is truly the most precious thing you will ever own... for the rest of your life.👍

How old are you? Have you ever actually been with a guy, and if so, is this how you felt back then? Also, do you go out often, and is your style always this modest?

Patrick Johnson8 said:How old are you? Have you ever actually been with a guy, and if so, is this how you felt back then? Also, do you go out often, and is your style always this modest?

To address the age question: I'm 22. As for thinking about sex—frankly, I don't, nor do I particularly want to. I might have a passing curiosity here and there, but generally, the whole idea feels rather off-putting to me. Regarding my social life, I don't really go out. And when it comes to my wardrobe, the most daring thing I might do is wear a neckline that's slightly deeper than usual; skirts or sleeveless tops just aren't really my style.

Roger Morgan4 said:To address the age question: I'm 22. As for thinking about sex—frankly, I don't, nor do I particularly want to. I might have a passing curiosity here and there, but generally, the whole idea feels rather off-putting to me. Regarding my social life, I don't really go out. And when it comes to my wardrobe, the most daring thing I might do is wear a neckline that's slightly deeper than usual; skirts or sleeveless tops just aren't really my style.

You've got some kind of issue or complex going on, though it’s not even the most obvious part of it. This all traces back to when you were four years old. That initial shame about being seen by others turned into a total rejection of sex—you built this massive wall around it because your anxiety spread way beyond its original boundaries (which honestly makes sense if you think about it logically).

I'm not sure what the best advice is, but maybe try heading to a pool with a big group of girlfriends wearing bikinis. Just try to chip away at that fear of people being around you, one small step at a time. Doing this could help loosen the grip on two things: [1] learning to accept how you look, [2] and trying to dial down that intense discomfort you feel when you're exposed in front of others.

If I'm being honest, my gut tells me that if you don't face this, your first sexual experience could be absolutely traumatic. It could change your entire life for the worse and leave emotional scars that never heal.

Seriously, go see a psychologist. Try working with someone to move past this situation. 🤷

Ronald Rogers27

Roger Morgan4 said:To address the age question: I'm 22. As for thinking about sex—frankly, I don't, nor do I particularly want to. I might have a passing curiosity here and there, but generally, the whole idea feels rather off-putting to me. Regarding my social life, I don't really go out. And when it comes to my wardrobe, the most daring thing I might do is wear a neckline that's slightly deeper than usual; skirts or sleeveless tops just aren't really my style.

Have you actually "seen" anyone?
In other words, have you ever brought this up in a session with a therapist?

Roger Morgan4 said:For as long as I can remember, I’ve had this intense desire to stay covered up; I never wanted anyone to see me without clothes except for my immediate family. My earliest memories of this feeling stem from those frequent trips to the ER because of stomach issues. Even as a little kid—maybe four years old—I’d end up at the local hospital at least once a month because my stomach was hurting so badly. And, naturally, the doctor would ask my dad to help undress me so he could perform an exam. I felt so incredibly uncomfortable and exposed every single time. That feeling just persisted through my entire childhood and has stuck with me all the way into adulthood. By the time I hit puberty, I wouldn't even want to walk around in just a bra or without shorts in front of my mom and sister, which felt strange since neither of them seemed to struggle with anything like that.

I can certainly wrap my head around how these feelings might evolve later in life—you know, things involving body image or self-acceptance—but I truly cannot grasp why I felt this way when I was only four years old, just a tiny, fragile child. I haven't been able to find anything online that describes this specific experience, and I’m genuinely curious about what might be causing it. Perhaps someone said something to me back then that triggered this fear? I'd love to know if anyone else has gone through something similar.

Did you ever actually find out what was causing those stomach pains and all those constant emergency room visits?
I can't help but wonder if that might be why you feel the way you do about your own body today...

Maybe you dealt with some bullying as a kid, maybe starting as early as four.
Kids realize when things aren't right, even if adults think they're too young to grasp it.
My only suggestion is to sit down with a therapist.
This stuff clearly weighs on you.
It isn't healthy to stay this hidden.
We aren't living in some closed-off society.

I don't think I'm quite ready to dive deep into this just yet, so a session with my therapist isn't exactly on the immediate horizon.

There are certainly certain things in my past that have shaped how I view intimacy, though most of those influences surfaced much later in life—which might explain my current perspective. Still, it feels strange to me; looking back, I can't quite wrap my head around why I felt such intense discomfort and shame at such a young age. That’s really the heart of why I decided to bring this up in the first place.

I went through something very similar myself.
At just four years old, even a single instance of inappropriate contact or witnessing something improper involving anatomy—not necessarily an assault—is enough to leave lasting scars on your psyche. It can deeply damage how you view your own body and your sense of self-worth.
I truly believe you should reach out to a psychologist.
For me, these memories didn't surface clearly until they started creeping into my dreams, fifteen years later.
Please, see a professional; there is nothing to lose by trying.

Roger Morgan4 said:I don't think I'm quite ready to dive deep into this just yet, so a session with my therapist isn't exactly on the immediate horizon.

There are certainly certain things in my past that have shaped how I view intimacy, though most of those influences surfaced much later in life—which might explain my current perspective. Still, it feels strange to me; looking back, I can't quite wrap my head around why I felt such intense discomfort and shame at such a young age. That’s really the heart of why I decided to bring this up in the first place.

Well.
In the absence of someone actually listening, try processing it internally—almost as if you were having a conversation with a confidant. Ask yourself those questions out loud, or perhaps write them down, much like you’d draft a letter to a trusted friend. It might help you verbalize those feelings you've been carrying around.

A therapist would certainly be your best resource when the time comes, but they aren't going anywhere; they'll still be there whenever you decide to make that appointment.

But really, wouldn't you prefer to be free of this burden as soon as possible?
The way I see it, this doesn't feel like a conscious choice. It's one thing to choose to wear long sleeves in the middle of a July heatwave because of some specific reason or a personal vow, but that would be an intentional decision. From what you've described, this feels more like something being forced upon you—not that you lack the ability to wear short sleeves, but that you simply can't. Isn't that right?

but to me, it feels strange that I felt such discomfort and shame even when I was so young. That's really the whole reason I started this thread.

Children don't process reality the same way adults do; they often draw incorrect conclusions because they lack the context to understand what's happening. If those experiences aren't processed by the time you reach adulthood, they can manifest as significant issues later on. What triggered this might have been a secondary event, or perhaps something you've suppressed or forgotten entirely.
You need to find a way to put words to it, to become aware of it, to remember.
And honestly, that isn't easy. In fact, it's incredibly difficult. Sometimes it takes years of work. There's a reason therapists exist.

Think back to your parents—how were you raised, and what was their general attitude toward body image and sexuality?
edit: I just noticed you mentioned your mother and sister didn't deal with these issues, so I'm assuming it wasn't necessarily due to a strictly puritanical upbringing.

Roger Morgan4 said:For as long as I can remember, I’ve had this intense desire to stay covered up; I never wanted anyone to see me without clothes except for my immediate family. My earliest memories of this feeling stem from those frequent trips to the ER because of stomach issues. Even as a little kid—maybe four years old—I’d end up at the local hospital at least once a month because my stomach was hurting so badly. And, naturally, the doctor would ask my dad to help undress me so he could perform an exam. I felt so incredibly uncomfortable and exposed every single time. That feeling just persisted through my entire childhood and has stuck with me all the way into adulthood. By the time I hit puberty, I wouldn't even want to walk around in just a bra or without shorts in front of my mom and sister, which felt strange since neither of them seemed to struggle with anything like that.

I can certainly wrap my head around how these feelings might evolve later in life—you know, things involving body image or self-acceptance—but I truly cannot grasp why I felt this way when I was only four years old, just a tiny, fragile child. I haven't been able to find anything online that describes this specific experience, and I’m genuinely curious about what might be causing it. Perhaps someone said something to me back then that triggered this fear? I'd love to know if anyone else has gone through something similar.

And what was going on with your stomach... was it an actual diagnosed illness, or just random pains with no clear cause? Maybe there's a connection there somewhere...

Rebecca Scott3 said:And what was going on with your stomach... was it an actual diagnosed illness, or just random pains with no clear cause? Maybe there's a connection there somewhere...

Pain without a clear cause might just be a symptom... rather than the root cause itself...

if you want to dig into some reading material...
or at least do a little searching on Google...

Rebecca Scott3 said:And what was going on with your stomach... was it an actual diagnosed illness, or just random pains with no clear cause? Maybe there's a connection there somewhere...

As far as I can recall, there was no specific reason. It always felt strange to me—I’d end up at the ER quite often, yet they could never actually tell me what was wrong.

William Smith5 said:Pain without a clear cause might just be a symptom... rather than the root cause itself...

if you want to dig into some reading material...
or at least do a little searching on Google...

I would, really, but does anyone have a suggestion on where I should even start?

Roger Morgan4 said:For as long as I can remember, I’ve had this intense desire to stay covered up; I never wanted anyone to see me without clothes except for my immediate family. My earliest memories of this feeling stem from those frequent trips to the ER because of stomach issues. Even as a little kid—maybe four years old—I’d end up at the local hospital at least once a month because my stomach was hurting so badly. And, naturally, the doctor would ask my dad to help undress me so he could perform an exam. I felt so incredibly uncomfortable and exposed every single time. That feeling just persisted through my entire childhood and has stuck with me all the way into adulthood. By the time I hit puberty, I wouldn't even want to walk around in just a bra or without shorts in front of my mom and sister, which felt strange since neither of them seemed to struggle with anything like that.

I can certainly wrap my head around how these feelings might evolve later in life—you know, things involving body image or self-acceptance—but I truly cannot grasp why I felt this way when I was only four years old, just a tiny, fragile child. I haven't been able to find anything online that describes this specific experience, and I’m genuinely curious about what might be causing it. Perhaps someone said something to me back then that triggered this fear? I'd love to know if anyone else has gone through something similar.

Maybe you're just unattractive and poorly proportioned...🤷

Zachary Patel6 said:Maybe you're just unattractive and poorly proportioned...🤷

True, that might be the case now, but I wasn't even four years old back then, so what I'm really trying to get at is why I felt that way even as a child.

Roger Morgan4 said:True, that might be the case now, but I wasn't even four years old back then, so what I'm really trying to get at is why I felt that way even as a child.

Perhaps someone was touching you in inappropriate places...