Damn, this sucks :(

I’ve got a massive problem with a friend of mine. She’s fallen in with a terrible crowd and started using cocaine... I need to know if any of you have dealt with people like this before. How do you even keep tabs on them? How can you tell when they're high versus when they're actually sober? And more importantly, how do I force her to actually go see a professional and get help? 😢(

Grace Richardson20 said:I'm struggling with a friend who's hanging out with the wrong crowd. She started using cocaine... I want to know if anyone has dealt with this before? How do you keep tabs on them... how can you tell when they're high vs. sober... and how do you actually get them to see a professional😢(

Honestly, it’s not the end of the world yet. It's recreational stuff. Just a little spark for the synapses. Once she moves on to heroin, then you really have a reason to worry.

Robin Reed2 said:It’s really not that big of a deal. It's just recreational—it gives the synapses a little nudge. You should actually start worrying if they move on to heroin.

Heh... honestly though? Cocaine is way more addictive than heroin.

Robin Reed2 said:It’s really not that big of a deal. It's just recreational stuff. A little spark for the synapses. If they move on to heroin, then you can actually start worrying.

CONGRATULATIONS!!! You just won the award for Statement of the Year! If we were hanging out in real life right now, you’d see exactly what I’m doing with my hands, but since we aren't, just imagine me waving a massive, oversized novelty check in your face..

Now that we've cleared that up, a word for Grace Richardson20: Tell her parents. Because let's be real, she didn't just pick this up as a hobby at age 34—there's a kid involved here somewhere. There isn't a lullaby in the world you could sing to her that would come close to the effect of her parents finally catching her red-handed.

I’m on the same page... parents have to take the lead here.
Honestly, someone needs to pull them away from that crowd... clearly they can't do it on their own.

For someone looking ahead, she’s already being labeled as "bad influence"... but honestly? If we're pointing fingers at who's actually responsible for how kids turn out, it starts with the parents—everyone else is just secondary.

Alexander Hall43 said:If we're talking about anyone's future, she’s considered "bad influence" herself... if anyone is actually responsible for this mess, it’s the parents first, then everyone else...

I have to disagree there. Seriously. Sometimes people spiral into drugs and massive trouble even when they have a perfect life waiting for them at home. Take my word for it.

And if we are talking about a minor, there is absolutely no other way out than going to the parents. That doesn't mean things will magically fix themselves overnight, but they need to be in the loop. They are the only ones with the power to actually step in right now.

Now, if the person is an adult... honestly, I don't even know what to tell you. 🤷

Regardless, the only person who can truly fix this is her. But she needs some kind of "nudge"—whether that's family pressure, legal intervention, or something else—to finally open her eyes to reality.

Dr. Zdunic - Vinogradska Addiction Center - 212-555-0199 - call them... 👍 (but let's be real, he won't be able to do a single thing until she admits she has a problem and actually asks for help.)

ambermason16 said:I don't know about that... Sometimes people spiral into drugs or drama even when everything at home is perfect. Trust me on this one.

If we're talking about some young girl, you have to go to her parents. Period. It might blow up in your face—it probably won't work right away—but they need to know. They're really the only ones who can actually step in right now.

Preach. 👍
Grace Richardson20, just head straight to her parents. There's not much else to think about, especially if she's already pushing help away. Maybe try telling her you're there for her, or offer to drive her to that specialist in Chicago that shree_kali mentioned. If she snaps at you? Just knock on her parents' door. Honestly, it would be pretty damn brave of you. 😘

I honestly think vinogradski is a solid choice for people who’ve been in the game long enough to want to step away from the grind and just focus on getting their lives back on track through therapy...
I'm not so sure how much it helps someone just starting out—especially when you've got two or three doctors hovering over a huge crowd of patients...

not sure what the vibe is over there, but even if things are messy, you gotta just dive in and start somewhere

jadewolf83 said:I don't know what the situation looks like over there, but even if it is, she needs to take action. She has to start somewhere.

I'm with you on that. And I agree with gorak too, though maybe a harsh wake-up call is exactly what she needs right now. Once she actually shows up and sees the people sitting in that waiting room, it might finally sink in. In my opinion, out of those two or three doctors, Dr. Zdunić is the only one who can truly make a difference... provided she actually lets him work.

From what I can gather, things haven't hit rock bottom just yet, but don't kid yourself—if she keeps going down this path and lets the addiction take root, it’s going to spiral. It will become critical very, very fast.

And regarding the emotional toll—look, it's noble that you care so much about your friend, I really mean that. But you need to find a way to distance yourself, at least emotionally. Your job is to be a support system. It is the job of her parents (and her herself) to pull her out of this. Don't let "passive addiction" consume you too. The road to recovery is never a straight line and it's definitely not guaranteed. Be there for her, sure, but stop expecting to play the hero and save her from herself. That is an impossible weight for anyone to carry. 🙂