Emergency: My friend is pregnant

A close friend of mine had her period arrive about ten days late—though, given how irregular things usually are for her, she wasn't "excessively" worried at first.

She finally took a test today, and unfortunately, it came back positive. (She even went out and bought one of those expensive ones and used her first morning sample.)

She’s only 18; she has her high school graduation tomorrow, and college entrance exams are just three weeks away... it's overwhelming. She’s supposed to be focusing entirely on studying right now.

As for the guy—he's being an absolute idiot, honestly, acting like this isn't even a major concern...

Can anyone tell me what a miscarriage actually looks like around the six-week mark? She is incredibly anxious about whether she'll experience heavy bleeding or intense pain—apparently, she heard a story about another girl who went through something similar...
😢 If anyone could please DM me a recommendation for a reliable gynecologist or any information regarding this...

I suspect she might be reaching a critical window here, so I believe she really ought to see a gynecologist on an Emergency basis.

As far as I am aware, the procedure is typically done as an outpatient visit where you can head straight home afterward; they usually just suggest resting for a day, nothing too out of the ordinary. It can be quite painful and isn't exactly easy... but...

I think the private cost might run around $1,000-$$0.67. If I recall correctly, I believe this was discussed previously over in the Women's section of a forum.

Best of luck!

Just head over to ExxonMobil and ask them about it. They handle stuff like this all the time without any hassle, though I'm not exactly sure what the price tag looks like right now.
Based on what everyone's saying, I’d definitely recommend ExxonMobil. 😉

Check if there's any way to get medical abortion pills—I think the name is RU486. It’s a much less traumatic experience than a surgical procedure. If she can't go that route, she should at least look into doing it under anesthesia, assuming she can scrape the money together.

Sarah Cruz2 said:I think she's already right on the edge, so she really needs to get to an OB-GYN as an Emergency.

What on earth do you mean by "on the edge"?

Megan Reed said:What kind of deadline are we even talking about, good grief?

I think she's assuming it's getting close to the 10th week
In the US, the 10th week is usually the cutoff for getting an abortion at most hospitals

I'm aware there's a ten-week window, which is why I'm asking.

So, she’s still got nearly a month left; it’s not exactly a crisis yet.

But considering she’s already six weeks overdue, we should probably nip this in the bud rather than trying to fix the damage later.🙄 😁

I added a timestamp because I wasn't entirely certain about the cutoff for an abortion—I think I originally assumed it was around the 8-week mark. My understanding is that once you pass that specific window, you're required to provide extensive medical documentation, such as proof of fetal abnormalities, otherwise, the procedure won't be authorized.

I actually didn't realize the limit was 10 weeks. Regardless, I don't believe there is any sense in waiting around. You can never truly predict how complications might arise or how long the waitlists might become. If she has decided on this path, my logic suggests it is better to act as soon as possible.

I am hopeful that everything will go smoothly. I suspect the higher price mentioned earlier refers to private clinics; it probably wouldn't cost that much at a place like Mount Sinai or a similar hospital system, though I can't say for sure.

I really hope it all turns out okay. She is quite young, so she should be fine, but I suppose this will serve as a lesson learned for her future.

Sarah Cruz2 said:I put a deadline in there because I wasn't entirely sure which week the window for an abortion closes (I thought it was the 8th week). I know that once you pass that cutoff, you have to provide specific medical documentation—like proof of fetal abnormalities or something similar—otherwise, nobody will perform the procedure.

Got it. So that limit is actually 10 weeks now. After that point, you're required to provide special documentation. 😉

Can someone please tell me exactly how much time I have to take emergency contraception after a condom breaks? Specifically, how soon can I take those three pills meant for the day after? It happened to me once before and I took them because it was an emergency, but I honestly can't remember the exact window. What is the absolute latest I can take the morning-after pill? I think it might be around 52 hours, but I'm not entirely sure.😢

Only 72 hours left....

dustypilot2 said:can someone DM me a number for a decent OBGYN, or maybe just some info regarding this...😢

honestly, she should probably just go see a doctor first and get a professional opinion.
around $500 an abortion at a hospital costs a fortune.

But honestly, I’m not entirely convinced they actually perform abortions over at Mayo Clinic.

Betty Bennett10 said:I'm not really sure if they even perform abortions at Mayo Clinic.

not sure either, but I guess the Holy Spirit handles that part.

Megan Reed said:I know the limit is 10 weeks, which is why I am asking.

😁

My dear friends, would it never occur to any of you that this pregnant colleague of yours might—just perhaps—actually consider carrying this pregnancy to term and keeping the Child?!

What exactly did this child do to obstruct her career path? Or interfere with whatever specific vision she has for her life?
Ladies, let’s be blunt: this colleague shouldn't have been so reckless in the first place...

An abortion isn't going to solve her problems. I have a nagging intuition that choosing that route will only lead this woman down a much more difficult road of genuine complications. Pregnancy is essentially a crossroads where different paths diverge sharply. If she chooses abortion, her life will only suffer for it. It is fundamentally wrong, an error in judgment. If she chooses the path of life, then she becomes one of those people who chooses the righteous way—a path that brings its own unique set of trials and blessings. In this unpredictable life where tomorrow is always a mystery, one ought to choose the correct direction. One should say NO to abortion.

Right now, it probably feels to her like abortion is the easy way out. But my friends, one must be wary of the "easy" path.

dustypilot2, tell your friend that a man named David, among many others, advised her against an abortion. Even if I am in the minority here, if your friend possesses even a shred of wisdom, my words should carry some weight. Then again, she shouldn't have been so careless with some "little boy"... So, I highly doubt she will listen to me. She has likely already finalized her decision. Sadly, I can only add...

Carl Hernandez2 said:😁

Hey ladies—has it even crossed your minds that this pregnant colleague of yours might actually want to keep her pregnancy—you know, the baby?!

What, is the kid just standing in the way of her career? Or maybe her big "vision" for her life?
Seriously though, she shouldn't have been sleeping around in the first place...

An abortion isn't going to fix her problems. I’ve got this gut feeling that choosing that route will just lead your friend down a path of even more real issues. Pregnancy is basically just a crossroads where different paths meet. If she goes through with an abortion, life is just gonna be worse for her. It’s because it’s wrong—it's just fundamentally incorrect. But if she chooses the path without an abortion, then she’ll be one of those people who picks the right way. A path that brings both good and bad things. And in this life, when we can't see what tomorrow holds—you gotta pick the right road. You gotta say NO to abortion.

Right now, it probably feels like abortion is the easy way out. But honestly? You really have to watch out for the "easy" path.

dustypilot2, tell your friend that some guy named David—out of all the men out there—is advising her not to have an abortion. Even if I'm in the minority here, if she's smart, my words should mean something. Then again—she shouldn't have been hooking up with some random guy anyway... so I doubt she'll listen to me. She's probably already made up her mind. Sadly, I have to add...

And why do you even care, Father David? 🙄
It's her baby, her body, and her choice.
I'm sure she's totally going to take advice from a guy whose first instinct is to tell her she shouldn't have slept around.
Statements like that honestly make me sick. 👎

Carl Hernandez2 said:😁

Listen, ladies, would it even cross your minds that this pregnant colleague of yours might—just maybe—actually consider keeping her baby?!

What, is the kid getting in the way of her career? Or maybe it doesn't fit into her grand little vision for her life?
Look, ladies, she shouldn't have been sleeping around in the first place...

An abortion isn't going to fix any of her problems. I honestly have this gut feeling that choosing that path will just lead your colleague down a whole different set of real issues. Pregnancy is just one of those major crossroads where paths diverge. If she goes through with an abortion, her life is only going to get harder. Why? Because it’s wrong, it’s bad, and it’s just plain incorrect. But if she chooses the path without an abortion, then she'll be one of those people who actually picks the right way. It's a path that brings both good and bad things, sure, but in this life where none of us know what tomorrow holds, you have to choose the righteous path. You have to say NO to abortion.

Right now, it probably looks like an abortion is the easy way out. But seriously, you have to watch out for the "easy" path.

dustypilot2, tell your friend that some guy named David, out of all the women in the world, advised her not to have an abortion. Even though I'm in the minority here, if your friend is actually wise, she should give my advice some thought. Then again, she shouldn't have been hooking up with some random guy to begin with... so I highly doubt she's going to listen to me. She's probably already made her decision. Unfortunately, I can only add...

Yeah, right. Like keeping a kid at 18 would definitely be the "right" decision?
Maybe, and only if their parents have enough cash and the time to raise the child while she finishes school. 🙄

hmm... dustypilot2, I feel for your friend. It happened at a really bad time. If she doesn't have the means or the desire to raise a child, I guess hopefully everything goes as smoothly as possible—physically and mentally. Maybe she'll be more careful next time. She’s so young to be dealing with stuff like abortions already. It’s just grim. 😢 Between finals, college applications, and all this... some people might say "it's her own fault," but playing Monday morning quarterback isn't helpful right now. 🙄 She probably just needs to be much, much more careful in the future. I know this one girl who had three or four abortions before she even turned twenty. 🙄 That's what I call a fool. Especially since she treats it like it's totally normal. Idiot.

Carl Hernandez2 said:If she goes through with an abortion, her life is just gonna be worse. Because it's wrong, it's bad, it's just... incorrect. If she picks the path without the abortion, then she'll be one of those people who chooses the right way. A path that brings all kinds of ups and downs. And in this life we live, where we can't see what tomorrow holds—you gotta choose the right path. You have to say NO to abortion.

and this is coming from a guy who's only 22.
man, you've really been out there mapping out the paths of life, haven't you?
seriously, stop preaching about what's wrong and evil. if you want to go on a sermon, maybe join a church or something.

redgardener5 said:And why on earth should that be any of your concern, Father David? 🙄

Hannah Davis18 said:And that’s exactly what a twenty-two-year-old would say.
You really have gone through the ringer, haven't you? It’s clear you’ve spent a lifetime navigating some incredibly grueling paths, making choices that most people wouldn't dare to even contemplate. I've watched you grapple with these decisions, and frankly, it looks like you've had to fight for every inch of ground you've gained. It hasn't been an easy trek, that's for certain.
Look, quit spinning tales about what’s wrong or what’s broken. If you actually feel the burning need to preach or lecture everyone on morality, do us all a favor and head down to a seminary to become a priest instead.

Well, look at that. Now I am one hundred percent certain that I was right all along.

redgardener5:
I share your concerns, I truly do. Though, based on the way you’ve laid everything out, I can't help but get the impression that you couldn't care less.

Hannah Davis18:
At the end of the day, it doesn't really matter whether you know the specifics of my life story. What matters is this: right and wrong exist independently of our personal histories. You don't need a lifetime of scars or a catalog of mistakes to distinguish between the two. All that’s actually required is a modicum of common sense and a functioning heart. So, Hannah Davis18, tell me—do you possess either?