dustyskipper3
Active Member
192 messages
joined Dec 2009
I suppose, if you think about it, nobody can ever truly grasp the absolute truth of any given situation. There is always some fragment left out of reach, so if someone tries to present a truth that is all-encompassing, then I guess everything becomes a lie to some degree. I was thinking more along the lines of specific, concrete things. For instance, a stubborn person will never actually see themselves as being stubborn; they’ll always have this internal justification for why they act that way—things like, "they just won't let me speak my mind," or "I'm just fighting for what's right while everyone else is wrong," or maybe, "I have to react because it's my duty," and so on. Similarly, a person who constantly plays the victim finds it much harder to realize they are doing that. They tend to think, "everything is so difficult for me, and nobody even notices," even when they are living a fairly standard life with pretty average problems. If you were to put such a person in a situation involving truly devastating hardships—stuff like cancer, losing a family member, crushing debt, predatory lenders, property seizure, or even prison—then, maybe, they would finally see that their previous life was actually quite alright. A person playing the victim wouldn't be able to tell themselves they are being dramatic; instead, they’d need someone who has actually lived through those kinds of horrors to point it out. Only then might they realize that the scale of their actual problems doesn't really match the amount of self-pity they feel regarding their circumstances.
So, there are people who lack certain life experiences or the insight needed to understand them, and then there is another person who possesses that experience and can explain the reality of the situation to the first person. Of course, that isn't an absolute truth, because in the case of the first person—say, the one acting as a victim—there might be unique circumstances the second person doesn't fully grasp. Perhaps they have a genetically hypersensitive nervous system, which makes even a normal daily routine feel like hell. But... well, I guess that is exactly what defines being a victim. I'm not claiming this is a moral flaw or a character defect that a person is responsible for; after all, you aren't responsible for your genetic makeup, only for how you choose to deal with it. I suppose the wisdom lies in the second person's ability to recognize the difference between themselves and the first person, allowing them to establish a more precise truth based on that distinction.
How can we determine who knows themselves well, who understands others, and who can accurately judge the gap between themselves and someone else well enough to offer them the truth? That's the question, anyway. Maybe you know the answer, though I suspect it isn't just about "walking in someone else's shoes." It's also about "being someone else," which isn't quite the same thing—in fact, I think it might be impossible. At some point, I will perceive a situation one way, and you will perceive it another, even if we face the exact same circumstances, simply because we aren't the same people. Our truths will always differ slightly. Perhaps honesty is just the attempt to get as close to the truth as humanly possible.