How do I get started with these changes?

You know how it goes with New Year's approaching, where everyone starts claiming things are finally going to get better, and while I’m right there with them, it isn't really because of the calendar flip, but more because it feels like it's just time for a change...

I honestly want to overhaul myself both mentally and physically, and to be clear, I'm not dealing with any health issues or being overweight, but I really want to become more outgoing and get back to the kind of shape I used to be in...
Over the last few years, I've just let things slide. I spent some time drifting through life without much direction, and while I have about a thousand acquaintances, I don't actually have any true, close friends because I just haven't had the energy for it....
It's the same story with the gym, because I used to be pretty dedicated, but now I've put on a few extra pounds and I'm just not happy with how I look, yet every single time I try to start again, I end up quitting, because I can't seem to find that spark of motivation or even the basic desire to work on myself when I know deep down that I need to...

It almost feels like I'm a prisoner to my own body, wanting to improve but constantly giving up, and maybe I'm even subconsciously afraid of succeeding, so I wonder if anyone else here has dealt with this, and if so, how do you actually break free from those physical limitations?

I’m not sure if this is it, but my life basically boils down to one simple definition: one step forward, two steps back.🤣🤣🤣🤣
How do you actually make more progress instead of just sliding backward? I honestly have no clue.😢

You aren't the only one—I feel the exact same way
it’s just that, in my case, I seem to be making five steps forward and three steps back 😳

It’s always a great time to work on being a better person—don't wait for a New Year's resolution to start! I really think the key is not letting yourself stall out when you feel like you've taken two steps back. Just keep telling yourself, "I want this, I can do this, and I know I'll make it happen." Good luck everyone!

Just get moving. Forget about hitting the gym; 🙄 those places are always way too crowded.😳 Instead, just wake up early, lace up your sneakers, and head out for a run—even if it’s just for fifteen minutes a day. Join a local library, pick up a hobby, learn an instrument, sign up for a class, or just take a walk through the park... find something that actually sparks your interest. That's how you meet people; you build connections through shared passions...
If you stumble, just get back up. It all comes down to willpower. Willpower is a force of nature. It has the power to reshape the very world around you. And remember: anything is possible; "impossible" just means you need a little more time. 🙂 Believe in yourself.

Just like what gentledrifter6 was saying, you really need to go out there and hunt for some actual interests. Even if you’re staring at a blank wall because you have no clue what actually clicks—believe me, I’ve been there myself—just try a bunch of different things. Give it some breathing room; take your time, and eventually, the stuff you love versus the stuff you hate will start to separate itself. As for how to force yourself to actually *start*? Honestly, I haven't got a magic formula for that. You just have to dive in and convince yourself that it's necessary—I mean, technically you don't *have* to do anything, but let's be real: I don't think you want to spend the rest of your life stuck in this exact same rut, which is probably why you're looking for help in the first place... that's basically my take on it. That’s exactly how I handled it, and it worked for me.

I can never seem to find my own rhythm or actually feel satisfied with where I am. :/
Every time I try to get my act together—like actually getting out of bed to go for a run—I end up talking myself out of it. "I'll start tomorrow," I say, and then suddenly, the entire summer has slipped by.
Or I'll try to drop a few pounds, start strong in the morning, but then give in to cravings at night and fall back on that same old excuse: "Tomorrow."
It just leaves me feeling disappointed in myself, and honestly, pretty empty.
I know the issue starts with me, but I really need to just lace up my sneakers and hit the pavement. 😁Not next year, but today...
I think it would be good for you to start adapting to those changes too, whether it's hitting the gym or something else. It doesn't matter what it is, the point is you should start today... so that making it through next year feels a lot easier. 🙂)
Don't let yourself spend the whole summer like I did, failing to do even one thing you planned. You'll just end up beating yourself up about it until you eventually forget. xD

Alex Patel96 said:I’m not sure if this is it, but my life basically boils down to one simple definition: one step forward, two steps back.🤣🤣🤣🤣
How do you actually make more progress instead of just sliding backward? I honestly have no clue.😢

That is precisely why forums and the internet exist. As long as you spend your time scrolling through the web, that’s how you’ll feel. It’s an unwritten rule of the digital age—that’s just how the internet affects people.

The choices you made back then are exactly what landed you right here—so instead of sitting around romanticizing the "good old days," maybe take a hard look at the reality of your situation today.

Ask yourself where you actually want to be in five, ten, or twenty years, and then start moving. Change and fear are two sides of the same coin, but let’s be honest: if you’re feeling miserable right now, do you really think things are just going to magically improve by next year? You have nothing left to lose, so stop shrinking away from life. Hit the gym, own your mistakes, and take full responsibility for your own life—and for heaven's sake, stop looking for all the answers on an internet forum.🙂

This topic is essentially a mirror image of the procrastination thread. It’s the endless cycle of stalling because motivation simply isn't there. A true epidemic. 😢

I’m always on the lookout for finding my tribe, much like how you might search for a specific community through a shared interest or a niche hobby.

For instance, take a look at this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=obdd31Q9PqA

Alex Nguyen3 said:I can never seem to find my own rhythm or actually feel satisfied with where I am. :/
Every time I try to get my act together—like actually getting out of bed to go for a run—I end up talking myself out of it. "I'll start tomorrow," I say, and then suddenly, the entire summer has slipped by.
Or I'll try to drop a few pounds, start strong in the morning, but then give in to cravings at night and fall back on that same old excuse: "Tomorrow."
It just leaves me feeling disappointed in myself, and honestly, pretty empty.
I know the issue starts with me, but I really need to just lace up my sneakers and hit the pavement. 😁Not next year, but today...
I think it would be good for you to start adapting to those changes too, whether it's hitting the gym or something else. It doesn't matter what it is, the point is you should start today... so that making it through next year feels a lot easier. 🙂)
Don't let yourself spend the whole summer like I did, failing to do even one thing you planned. You'll just end up beating yourself up about it until you eventually forget. xD

Maybe things would be easier if there were someone to run with. I know from my own experience—I used to run for a while—that motivation tends to tank pretty quickly when you don't have someone else who is equally driven to push you along.

It’s the same story with almost any other hobby, really; things are just more engaging when you have someone by your side who is also a beginner or just starting out.

Anonymous said:Just get moving. Forget about hitting the gym; 🙄 those places are always way too crowded.😳 Instead, just wake up early, lace up your sneakers, and head out for a run—even if it’s just for fifteen minutes a day. Join a local library, pick up a hobby, learn an instrument, sign up for a class, or just take a walk through the park... find something that actually sparks your interest. That's how you meet people; you build connections through shared passions...
If you stumble, just get back up. It all comes down to willpower. Willpower is a force of nature. It has the power to reshape the very world around you. And remember: anything is possible; "impossible" just means you need a little more time. 🙂 Believe in yourself.

Personally, I’d argue that signing up for something right at the start—like paying a monthly membership fee for a fitness center or similar service—is actually a brilliant move, much like how committing to a subscription service keeps you accountable; if you skip it, that little pang of guilt acts as a nudge. Plus, being surrounded by people chasing the exact same goals can be incredibly infectious. The suggestion you made about waking up early for a quick fifteen-minute jog sounds great in theory, but for someone like me, it usually falls victim to the classic "I'll start tomorrow" trap. 🙄 Having skin in the game by paying for the full month is really what forces my hand to actually show up.
The absolute best kind of fuel for motivation is seeing those initial wins; once you drop a few pounds and realize how much more energetic you feel, you won't even want to let yourself demolish a massive deli sandwich loaded with mayo at 11:00 PM.🙂
Everyone has already pointed this out (and I couldn't agree more), but you shouldn't wait for New Year's Day, the first of the month, or even next Monday to make a change... you need to start RIGHT NOW!!! 😉
Good luck!

Same here. I tend to procrastinate on even the smallest, most trivial things indefinitely.😠
If we actually stuck to our New Year's resolutions, I suppose we might actually get somewhere.😁

David Green11 said:Personally, I’d argue that signing up for something right at the start—like paying a monthly membership fee for a fitness center or similar service—is actually a brilliant move, much like how committing to a subscription service keeps you accountable; if you skip it, that little pang of guilt acts as a nudge. Plus, being surrounded by people chasing the exact same goals can be incredibly infectious. The suggestion you made about waking up early for a quick fifteen-minute jog sounds great in theory, but for someone like me, it usually falls victim to the classic "I'll start tomorrow" trap. 🙄 Having skin in the game by paying for the full month is really what forces my hand to actually show up.
The absolute best kind of fuel for motivation is seeing those initial wins; once you drop a few pounds and realize how much more energetic you feel, you won't even want to let yourself demolish a massive deli sandwich loaded with mayo at 11:00 PM.🙂
Everyone has already pointed this out (and I couldn't agree more), but you shouldn't wait for New Year's Day, the first of the month, or even next Monday to make a change... you need to start RIGHT NOW!!! 😉
Good luck!

Not necessarily. If someone has, say, three sessions booked a week and they just can't find the drive, maybe the guilt over wasting money might nudge them to go just once—purely to ease their conscience. I suppose I agree that visible results are the ultimate motivator, but let's be real: many people lack the initial drive required to reach those results in the first place. It all comes down to the individual. If someone genuinely wants to change, they will—and if they don't, nothing being said here is going to help them.

Procrastination is not a lack of willpower. It is an escape. An apprehension. A SYMPTOM.
Of what? That is a question only those of us (all 🙂) who delay can truly answer.

Consider the common underlying drivers of procrastination:
1. perfectionism—the demand for flawlessness from oneself or the perceived expectation of others. In practice, this functions as a defense mechanism: if I fail, it isn't because I lack ability, but simply because I didn't allocate sufficient time. For instance, "If I had started studying for my Bar exam earlier, I wouldn't have failed—I am actually capable, I just ran out of time."

2. fear of failure—"What if I lose all the weight and still can't find a partner? Then the issue is fundamentally me—that I am inherently unworthy of love, etc." Naturally, no one engages in such a dialogue with themselves consciously. And yet, it happens.

3. fear of success—an unlikely concept to some, yet entirely plausible. Success necessitates change. What kind of changes, and how daunting might they be? What new responsibilities will I be forced to shoulder? How will my social standing shift, and how will that alter my relationships with others?

How does one halt this cycle?
1. Recognize that procrastination is merely a symptom of a deeper issue. Attempt to identify that root. Practice radical honesty with yourself.

2. cease self-flagellation. I cannot overstate the importance of this point.
Stop hurling insults at yourself simply because you delayed a task you promised to complete today. You are not unintelligent, incapable, or worthless because of a lapse in productivity. Forgive yourself. It is acceptable. You possess inherent value exactly as you are.

Imagine a close friend approached you with this exact struggle. Would you subject them to the same vitriol you direct at yourself? I highly doubt it. What would you say to them instead? Say that to yourself.

3. My preferred method: on my deathbed, 😁... will I regret spending more hours watching Netflix or sitting at a computer... or will I regret that I didn't... truly live?

I wish you all much success in your new endeavors.

This year, I decided that for the New Year, I’m simply not making any resolutions at all! 😂

I really don't want this to come across as some sort of blatant advertisement, but you should honestly take a look at http://www.habitchange.com/restart-habits—it’s a series of webinars packed with practical exercises designed to help you jumpstart your momentum and either build entirely new habits or fine-tune the ones you already have.

There are several webinar recordings available on there (I'd suggest starting with the first one), so dive in and see if the approach actually resonates with you. 🙂

How does one actually kickstart change?
I’ve been reflecting on this quite deeply lately, and I suspect the answer might be blunt: perhaps you simply haven't found a reason compelling enough to move. Or, if we are being truly honest with ourselves, maybe you don't actually care that much. In my own experience, I have noticed a recurring pattern where nothing I attempt truly takes flight unless I am profoundly, sincerely invested in the outcome.

My current struggle, however, lies in a different area altogether—specifically, how to carve out sufficient time to pursue all these ambitions? 🤷
I find myself in a constant, exhausting tug-of-war with the clock. Because of this, several of my goals were pushed to the periphery this year. Looking ahead, I am determined to manage my schedule more effectively and force time to work in my favor rather than against me.

Joshua Patel6 said:How does one actually kickstart change?
I’ve been reflecting on this quite deeply lately, and I suspect the answer might be blunt: perhaps you simply haven't found a reason compelling enough to move. Or, if we are being truly honest with ourselves, maybe you don't actually care that much. In my own experience, I have noticed a recurring pattern where nothing I attempt truly takes flight unless I am profoundly, sincerely invested in the outcome.

My current struggle, however, lies in a different area altogether—specifically, how to carve out sufficient time to pursue all these ambitions? 🤷
I find myself in a constant, exhausting tug-of-war with the clock. Because of this, several of my goals were pushed to the periphery this year. Looking ahead, I am determined to manage my schedule more effectively and force time to work in my favor rather than against me.

It is quite simple, really: those who truly want to make things happen will find a way, while everyone else will simply find an excuse. 😉