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Jealousy

Started by brightnomad0 · · 👁 4 views · 84 replies

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Participants brightnomad0quietdriver3rowdyridge59nimbletrucker9gentlecanyon92Alex Rogers96AAustin Chase12rustymaker60Alexander Campbell7restlessseal16placidridge56Jamie Scott2Dennis Torresanalogmoose37Ethan Sullivan2Gregory Reyesquietpilot87brightgardener40redotter1Sarah Wood8Paul PerezLisa Hernandez3Gary James88 …
brightnomad0 brightnomad0 MemberOP
11 messages
joined Oct 2004
#1 ·
Is this actually a disease?

How deeply embedded is it in human nature?

And I wonder... is there even a way to overcome it?
brightnomad0 brightnomad0 MemberOP
11 messages
joined Oct 2004
#2 ·
Envy is essentially a darker, more toxic version of jealousy.
Someone driven by envy might secretly resent the success of those they envy, or perhaps they even hope to see that person stumble.
At times, an envious person can't quite mask their true feelings, which might lead them to act openly against someone else....
Even if jealousy doesn't dictate your entire life, I suppose we all deal with it to some extent—whether it's managing our own feelings or navigating the resentment others feel toward us. We’re all susceptible to it, but I think it’s something we can learn to manage and eventually overcome……

Envy is that sense of discontent or disapproval triggered by seeing what others have achieved, owned, or simply who they are....
An envious person craves what belongs to someone else, often feeling as though they don't deserve what they currently possess.
In the struggle to pull themselves up to the level of those they envy, an envious person tends to suffer a moral decline, sacrificing their integrity in the process. Even if they actually succeed, I suspect any gain is only temporary.

Ultimately, envy is just an expression of HATRED....
The root of this feeling lies in Selfishness Inc.
To cope, an envious person might try to tear down those they envy by using unfair criticism or questioning their competence and motives.

It also makes people prone to being UNRELIABLE and DISTRUSTFUL toward their rivals.

An envious individual can be POSSESSIVE, excessively suspicious, and overly demanding regarding rules and expectations.

And at the end of the day, true LOVE IS NOT JEALOUS....

Have you ever dealt with someone who tried to undermine you out of pure envy? Or perhaps, can you recognize those jealous impulses within yourself?.....?????
Do you find yourself leaning toward jealousy at times, and if so, why... or do you stay clear of it entirely?.....?????

quietdriver3 quietdriver3 Regular
290 messages
joined Mar 2005
#3 ·
brightnomad0 said:Envy is just a really negative version of jealousy.

I guess... maybe there's a positive side to it too?? 😕
rowdyridge59 rowdyridge59 Newcomer
9 messages
joined Mar 2005
#4 ·
I just want to see people suffer, and it’s not even because I’m jealous or anything. I'm not being envious, I swear ☕
brightnomad0 brightnomad0 MemberOP
11 messages
joined Oct 2004
#5 ·
quietdriver3 said:Is there actually such a thing as a positive version?? 😕

Yes, I suppose there is.
In the sense that jealousy can act as a catalyst to protect something we hold dear, or perhaps to shield someone we care about from harmful influences...

That seems to be the healthy kind of jealousy, as opposed to the toxic variety, which is really just envy...
quietdriver3 quietdriver3 Regular
290 messages
joined Mar 2005
#6 ·
brightnomad0 said:
Like, maybe jealousy can actually be a motivator to protect things we hold dear, or just looking out for someone we care about from stuff that might hurt them...


but, I guess, if we're protecting someone simply because they mean everything to us, that's coming from a place of love rather than jealousy, right?
nimbletrucker9 nimbletrucker9 Newcomer
5 messages
joined Feb 2005
#7 ·
Envy... I’d define it as this deep-seated resentment toward anyone who possesses anything, regardless of what it actually is. I don't think it qualifies as a clinical disease, but it's definitely some kind of psychological disorder, isn't it?
gentlecanyon92 gentlecanyon92 Active Member
162 messages
joined Mar 2005
#8 ·
quietdriver3 said:look, if we protect someone because they mean something to us, we do it out of love, not jealousy.

There's no other way to explain it. Unless you've actually felt love—that healthy kind of protective instinct—it’s just not the same.🙂
quietdriver3 quietdriver3 Regular
290 messages
joined Mar 2005
#9 ·
gentlecanyon92 said:I don't think there's any other way to put it... I mean, unless you've actually felt what love is like, or even that specific kind of positive jealousy... it just isn't the same thing. 🙂


😕
gentlecanyon92 gentlecanyon92 Active Member
162 messages
joined Mar 2005
#10 ·
quietdriver3 said:😕

you’ve clearly never felt a hint of jealousy😉 ?
quietdriver3 quietdriver3 Regular
290 messages
joined Mar 2005
#11 ·
gentlecanyon92 said:So you've never actually felt jealous?😉 ?

Oh, I definitely have.

And honestly, it’s such a heavy, negative feeling...

I mean, look at it this way: I don't think you could ever wrap the word jealousy into a positive context, no matter how hard you tried.🙂

To me, "positive jealousy" just feels like an oxymoron.🙂
gentlecanyon92 gentlecanyon92 Active Member
162 messages
joined Mar 2005
#12 ·
quietdriver3 said:Yeah, I am.

And it’s a pretty negative feeling.

Let’s put it this way: you can't exactly wrap the word "jealousy" in a positive context without it being total bullshit. 🙂

To me, "positive jealousy" is just an oxymoron. 🙂

We're making progress, 😉

Look, what you call "positive jealousy" is really just that same exact feeling—the only thing that makes it "positive" is that you're feeling it right now because you want to protect something precious to you, or shield someone you love from harm...

Do you see what I'm getting at? 🙂
quietdriver3 quietdriver3 Regular
290 messages
joined Mar 2005
#13 ·
gentlecanyon92 said:whether it's about protecting something precious to us or shielding someone we love from harm...

I mean, how do you guys not get it? We protect people because of selfless love.

You can't really claim someone risked their life just out of jealousy and somehow saved another person, because jealousy is... well, it's a selfish feeling, I guess.

Just to be a total stickler here, if we look at the definition:

Jealousy—one, it's that mental ache you feel when you're doubting someone's loyalty. Two, it's that sense of rivalry against others, whether in your career, chasing success, or looking for an edge.

Or, if I were to use the Jedi way of putting it: Jealousy pulls you toward the dark side.😈
gentlecanyon92 gentlecanyon92 Active Member
162 messages
joined Mar 2005
#14 ·
quietdriver3 said:how can you not get it? we protect people out of selfless love.

You can't argue that someone risked their life to save another just because jealousy is a selfish emotion.

To be a total killjoy about it, here is the definition:

Jealousy: 1. The mental anguish felt by one who doubts the fidelity of another. 2. A sense of rivalry regarding others in business, pursuit of success, utility, etc.

Or to put it in Jedi terms: Jealousy leads to the dark side. 😈

No, I'm just saying jealousy can be positive—not in the sense of being envious of someone else... it's that specific, turbulent feeling.
You see your partner hanging out with someone who is a bad influence... out of love, you want to protect them from that person. That protective instinct manifests as a unique sensation—called jealousy. In a positive sense, it drives you to take action.

That’s different from when we say you're jealous of someone because you want to be in their shoes.
Alex Rogers96 Alex Rogers96 Member
45 messages
joined Apr 2005
#15 ·
Envy is a negative emotion.
Which means it's undesirable.
A Anonymous Veteran
3.6K messages
joined May 2005
#16 ·
Envy... honestly, I’m jealous of you there. You can actually take that feeling and turn it into a compliment for someone else—like a way of showing genuine admiration for what they’ve built or what they’ve accomplished
But let's be real, envy can also just be an obsession with everyone else's business. It's that nagging sense of inferiority. Personally, I think if someone truly knows they have the talent to reach those same heights, they wouldn't feel envious at all. They'd just chalk it up to a bit of bad luck instead...
Not sure if that covers enough,
Austin Chase12 Austin Chase12 Newcomer
1 message
joined Mar 2005
#17 ·
quietdriver3 said:I honestly think "positive jealousy" is just an oxymoron.🙂

Hmm...

Maybe the word "jealousy" itself is just an oxymoron if you break it down.

As for envy? I’ve got plenty of issues, but I don't deal in envy.
quietdriver3 quietdriver3 Regular
290 messages
joined Mar 2005
#18 ·
Austin Chase12 said:maybe calling love a "must" is just an oxymoron, or some kind of weird oxymoronic compound word

I don't know, I wouldn't really say that's the case

I mean, love doesn't always have to be this high-level, enlightened state of consciousness, right?

A person can be totally in love while simultaneously going through this dark, crazy, half-existent phase—kind of like what you hear in most songs by Quincy, I guess. So, yeah, you could definitely have that combination of love and necessity mixed together😉
A Anonymous Veteran
3.6K messages
joined May 2005
#19 ·
Is this actually some kind of sickness?

I don't think so. Honestly, I feel like it’s just hardwired into everyone.

How deep does it really run in people?

Pretty much everyone deals with a bit of envy at some point. Some people are just better at masking it, while others wear it on their sleeves.

How do you get past it?

Just ignore it.
Envy is toxic—it eats away at you and serves absolutely no purpose.
The best way is to channel all that energy into something creative instead. Once you're focused on building something, you won't even notice that bitter feeling anymore.
rustymaker60 rustymaker60 Member
39 messages
joined Mar 2006
#20 ·
I can’t remember a single moment in my life where I’ve felt truly envious. Usually, if I hear someone is doing well, I’m genuinely happy for them—it actually serves as motivation, making me think, "Hey, if they can make it, maybe I can too."

But man, did that change today. We were all grabbing coffee at the office when a new colleague walks up and says, "Hey, if you guys hear about anyone selling an apartment, let me know."
-"What kind of budget are we talking about?" we asked, totally naive,
-"About $250,000," he replies, acting all nonchalant.
-"Does location matter to you?"
-"Of course. I definitely don't want anything in Brooklyn; I'm looking more toward areas like Central Park or similar."
-"Ah, $250,000 won't get you much there."
-"Actually," he says, "money isn't really the issue. It could be $350,000. It doesn't matter." And he says all this with the same casual shrug you'd use to tell a story about finding a decent burger joint.

Damn it. It actually frustrated me. I was green with envy.😢🙂
To have that kind of money and just toss the amount around with such total indifference.

Does this sting a little for anyone else? Come on, tell me I'm not alone.

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