Schizophrenia - General Discussion

Harold Anderson3 said:Based on everything I'm learning, my own situation seems to fall under the "process" category, though I hold onto the hope that I might eventually be able to taper off my medication entirely. I have no idea when that might happen—maybe in five years, maybe ten... and even if it never happens, I won't let it get me down.

Exactly.
And let me add this...
There is really no issue with taking medication for years, or even for a lifetime.
Some people ask, "How can I take psychiatric medication my whole life? I just can't." But it’s no different than someone taking pills for high blood pressure or something similar; there isn't a distinction in my view. Look at how many people, including doctors, have to or choose to take daily medication for various reasons. Take aspirin, for instance—almost everyone takes it, even healthy people, just as a preventative measure. It becomes a routine, a habit, so it isn't an issue. Similarly, someone managing a mental health condition who takes their prescribed pills or injections is doing themselves a massive favor...
When I saw a professional bodybuilder consuming the sheer volume of supplements and substances they take daily just to enhance training and muscle mass, what you're talking about seems trivial by comparison. And he doesn't find it difficult; he accepts it as a lifelong commitment.
Personally, I see no problem with long-term psychiatric medication for those who have been properly prescribed it. If used correctly, the benefits far outweigh any perceived drawbacks...

Kenneth Campbell said:Exactly.
And let me add this...
There is really no issue with taking medication for years, or even for a lifetime.
Some people ask, "How can I take psychiatric medication my whole life? I just can't." But it’s no different than someone taking pills for high blood pressure or something similar; there isn't a distinction in my view. Look at how many people, including doctors, have to or choose to take daily medication for various reasons. Take aspirin, for instance—almost everyone takes it, even healthy people, just as a preventative measure. It becomes a routine, a habit, so it isn't an issue. Similarly, someone managing a mental health condition who takes their prescribed pills or injections is doing themselves a massive favor...
When I saw a professional bodybuilder consuming the sheer volume of supplements and substances they take daily just to enhance training and muscle mass, what you're talking about seems trivial by comparison. And he doesn't find it difficult; he accepts it as a lifelong commitment.
Personally, I see no problem with long-term psychiatric medication for those who have been properly prescribed it. If used correctly, the benefits far outweigh any perceived drawbacks...

I’ve never been a fan of taking pills. I was prescribed some stuff for my own situation—diagnosed with anxiety—but nothing really worked for me. Anxiolytics would just knock me out or dull things down slightly, so I'd use them occasionally, but antidepressants or even antipsychotics did absolutely nothing for my derealization and depersonalization, even after long-term use. Eventually, I decided I wasn't going to be a guinea pig for Big Pharma, so I quit everything cold turkey. After a long time, things started clearing up on their own.
Because of that, I don't believe there's a magic pill for everything, because I know firsthand there wasn't one for my condition. Even on international forums where people from all over the world gather to talk about these exact problems, I haven't heard anyone say a medication completely wiped out their symptoms.
Even though it felt terrifying at first to feel like I was totally on my own, that's actually what made me stronger—taking control of my own fate. This happened after I dealt with several psychiatrists who weren't just useless, but incredibly arrogant. Not to mention the absolute idiot who practically spitefully refused to help when I was in such a bad state that I had to call a crisis center.

Sarah Wood8 said:I’ve never been a fan of taking pills. I was prescribed some stuff for my own situation—diagnosed with anxiety—but nothing really worked for me. Anxiolytics would just knock me out or dull things down slightly, so I'd use them occasionally, but antidepressants or even antipsychotics did absolutely nothing for my derealization and depersonalization, even after long-term use. Eventually, I decided I wasn't going to be a guinea pig for Big Pharma, so I quit everything cold turkey. After a long time, things started clearing up on their own.
Because of that, I don't believe there's a magic pill for everything, because I know firsthand there wasn't one for my condition. Even on international forums where people from all over the world gather to talk about these exact problems, I haven't heard anyone say a medication completely wiped out their symptoms.
Even though it felt terrifying at first to feel like I was totally on my own, that's actually what made me stronger—taking control of my own fate. This happened after I dealt with several psychiatrists who weren't just useless, but incredibly arrogant. Not to mention the absolute idiot who practically spitefully refused to help when I was in such a bad state that I had to call a crisis center.

Some people need their prescriptions while others don't. It varies...

Kenneth Campbell said:Exactly.
And let me add this...
There is really no issue with taking medication for years, or even for a lifetime.
Some people ask, "How can I take psychiatric medication my whole life? I just can't." But it’s no different than someone taking pills for high blood pressure or something similar; there isn't a distinction in my view. Look at how many people, including doctors, have to or choose to take daily medication for various reasons. Take aspirin, for instance—almost everyone takes it, even healthy people, just as a preventative measure. It becomes a routine, a habit, so it isn't an issue. Similarly, someone managing a mental health condition who takes their prescribed pills or injections is doing themselves a massive favor...
When I saw a professional bodybuilder consuming the sheer volume of supplements and substances they take daily just to enhance training and muscle mass, what you're talking about seems trivial by comparison. And he doesn't find it difficult; he accepts it as a lifelong commitment.
Personally, I see no problem with long-term psychiatric medication for those who have been properly prescribed it. If used correctly, the benefits far outweigh any perceived drawbacks...

I'm with you on that. When I look at my own parents and how their medicine cabinets just keep growing with all sorts of prescriptions, I truly don't see the difference!🙄

stormymason5 said:A question for anyone living with schizophrenia:

Is this condition actually the nightmare everyone makes it out to be, or is it possible to just live a relatively normal life with it?

Look, it’s terrifying—there's no sugarcoating that—and honestly, "normalcy" becomes a bit of a myth when you're dealing with it.🙂

Hey, I’ve been hovering on the edge of joining this thread for a while now, just putting it off, but I can't hold it back anymore. Honestly, I’m at a breaking point. There’s someone in my family dealing with what—if you want to call it that—is schizophrenia. That was the diagnosis, anyway, but they completely reject it. They're convinced everything is perfectly fine and they're totally normal. They were on medication for maybe 15 or 20 years, though even then, it felt like the stuff wasn't doing much. For the last 7 or 8 years, they've ditched the meds entirely because they claim the pills are "poisoning" them or making them feel unlike themselves. Something like that.

The house is just one constant, exhausting argument. Everything is a trigger. How a dish is sitting on the counter or how things are organized—it doesn't matter, it's always an issue. They told me once they feel this constant restlessness in their mind, like there's some kind of "whirlwind or vortex" spinning inside their head. They say they think too much. They’re up at 1 or 2 in the morning and just can't get back to sleep...

I am so pushed to the limit that I've actually considered just buying some pills or herbal supplements on my own and sneaking them into their juice or food. Or maybe lying and saying it's a specific tea just to get them to settle down. Every time I try to suggest we need actual help or more medication, they take it as a personal attack. They just scream that they are a completely normal person.

Please, if anyone has any advice, I'm begging you. I don't know how much longer I can sustain this. I'm not in the middle of a crisis right this second, but I am seriously considering moving out. My nerves are shot. I can't keep playing this game where I pretend "everything is fine," walking on eggshells, and constantly validating them just to keep the peace.😢

Does anyone have any advice? I’m at my breaking point. I’m not in a physical danger situation, but I think I’ll have to move out because my mental health is deteriorating. I can't keep pretending everything is fine just to appease this person or constantly telling them to calm down.

If they refuse treatment and there aren't grounds for an involuntary hold, moving away seems like your best option.

driftinggull21 said:

Does anyone have any advice? I’m at my breaking point. I’m not in a physical danger situation, but I think I’ll have to move out because my mental health is deteriorating. I can't keep pretending everything is fine just to appease this person or constantly telling them to calm down.

If they refuse treatment and there aren't grounds for an involuntary hold, moving away seems like your best option.

The thing is, I’m struggling with leaving because there are moments when everything feels fine. We have these great conversations, and I know deep down she’d be devastated if I just walked out. But blood isn't everything, and reality eventually sets in. One day I think, "Okay, today is going to be better than yesterday," and then suddenly, out of nowhere, we're back to fighting. It's like she’s wearing masks—one minute she’s one person, the next she’s someone entirely different. I know she needs my help around the house, but I don't even know how to help anymore. I just feel completely torn apart.

crimsonbison12 said:The thing is, I’m struggling with leaving because there are moments when everything feels fine. We have these great conversations, and I know deep down she’d be devastated if I just walked out. But blood isn't everything, and reality eventually sets in. One day I think, "Okay, today is going to be better than yesterday," and then suddenly, out of nowhere, we're back to fighting. It's like she’s wearing masks—one minute she’s one person, the next she’s someone entirely different. I know she needs my help around the house, but I don't even know how to help anymore. I just feel completely torn apart.

Unfortunately, schizophrenia can alter a person's personality, behavior, and even their perception of reality. This won't resolve itself without medication. There will always be good days and bad days; now, you have to decide if this is a life you can actually live.

crimsonbison12 said:Hey, I’ve been hovering on the edge of joining this thread for a while now, just putting it off, but I can't hold it back anymore. Honestly, I’m at a breaking point. There’s someone in my family dealing with what—if you want to call it that—is schizophrenia. That was the diagnosis, anyway, but they completely reject it. They're convinced everything is perfectly fine and they're totally normal. They were on medication for maybe 15 or 20 years, though even then, it felt like the stuff wasn't doing much. For the last 7 or 8 years, they've ditched the meds entirely because they claim the pills are "poisoning" them or making them feel unlike themselves. Something like that.

The house is just one constant, exhausting argument. Everything is a trigger. How a dish is sitting on the counter or how things are organized—it doesn't matter, it's always an issue. They told me once they feel this constant restlessness in their mind, like there's some kind of "whirlwind or vortex" spinning inside their head. They say they think too much. They’re up at 1 or 2 in the morning and just can't get back to sleep...

I am so pushed to the limit that I've actually considered just buying some pills or herbal supplements on my own and sneaking them into their juice or food. Or maybe lying and saying it's a specific tea just to get them to settle down. Every time I try to suggest we need actual help or more medication, they take it as a personal attack. They just scream that they are a completely normal person.

Please, if anyone has any advice, I'm begging you. I don't know how much longer I can sustain this. I'm not in the middle of a crisis right this second, but I am seriously considering moving out. My nerves are shot. I can't keep playing this game where I pretend "everything is fine," walking on eggshells, and constantly validating them just to keep the peace.😢

My family consists of three people, and two of us struggle with schizophrenia: myself and my mother. While we both require medication, I stay consistent with mine, whereas my mom doesn't really, for reasons that range from understandable to completely irrational. The third person is my grandmother, who hasn't received a diagnosis. There are frequent arguments between Grandma and Mom, though they seem a bit less intense than they used to be. Most of the friction stems from money issues, and sometimes Mom becomes paranoid toward Grandma without any real cause. Whenever Mom stops taking her meds, I can tell immediately by how she acts, and lately, she’s even started to realize she needs them. I suppose if someone is that stubborn and refuses medication at all costs despite having a diagnosis, it might be best for your own sanity to distance yourself. Still, it would obviously be better for the whole family if you could somehow convince them to follow their treatment plan. What is your relationship to this person?

Look, I haven't been deep-diving into every single word here, but I’ve made my way through the first 40 pages of this thread
and man, it is absolutely gripping. Honestly, I didn't really spot anyone who seemed genuinely mentally ill
except for that one guy who went on that aggressive rampage (which, if you ask me, is when illness turns truly dark)
but looking back now, it turns out being sick can actually be a good thing sometimes, in its own way.
And don't even get me started on all that nonsense about chemical imbalances in the brain
I mean, is the brain just chemistry? Like, hello?
It feels pretty obvious to me that they just push that narrative to move more of those little chemical
pills... seriously, hello?
As for all that stuff regarding ECT—you know, the electroshock therapy—man, give me a break.
Honestly, those psychiatrists should be the ones getting hit with a cattle prod or an ice pick instead.
I mean, seriously... just... wow.
It makes me wonder, because people have always existed
who fit what we call schizophrenia today, but back then, society actually had room for them.
I mean, weren't those the prophets, the shamans, and the spiritual leaders?
Since mental health struggles aren't the same thing as intellectual disabilities,
everyone really needs to focus on their own personal growth first.
If someone is smart enough, why on earth would you expect this massive system
to actually step up and help you? Sixty years ago, we had maybe a handful of types of "madness"
and now we have over a thousand different diagnoses out there...
I truly believe that schizophrenia is a real thing, and when you're in the middle of it, you can't just pull yourself out,
just like how OCD works—that obsessive-compulsive disorder where you get stuck in those loops
with senseless repetitions and intrusive thoughts.
But once the episodes pass....
Sending love to all my fellow schizos, though to some of you
I’d say: don't go trying to be a hero too early..
and maybe take a few tips from the self-help books.
And please, don't try to lecture someone while they're in the middle of a schizophrenic episode.
Stay strong, mental warriors, and fight until the very end...🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂:git ara:🙂🙂🙂🙂

nimblerider21 said:Look, I haven't been deep-diving into every single word here, but I’ve made my way through the first 40 pages of this thread
and man, it is absolutely gripping. Honestly, I didn't really spot anyone who seemed genuinely mentally ill
except for that one guy who went on that aggressive rampage (which, if you ask me, is when illness turns truly dark)
but looking back now, it turns out being sick can actually be a good thing sometimes, in its own way.
And don't even get me started on all that nonsense about chemical imbalances in the brain
I mean, is the brain just chemistry? Like, hello?
It feels pretty obvious to me that they just push that narrative to move more of those little chemical
pills... seriously, hello?
As for all that stuff regarding ECT—you know, the electroshock therapy—man, give me a break.
Honestly, those psychiatrists should be the ones getting hit with a cattle prod or an ice pick instead.
I mean, seriously... just... wow.
It makes me wonder, because people have always existed
who fit what we call schizophrenia today, but back then, society actually had room for them.
I mean, weren't those the prophets, the shamans, and the spiritual leaders?
Since mental health struggles aren't the same thing as intellectual disabilities,
everyone really needs to focus on their own personal growth first.
If someone is smart enough, why on earth would you expect this massive system
to actually step up and help you? Sixty years ago, we had maybe a handful of types of "madness"
and now we have over a thousand different diagnoses out there...
I truly believe that schizophrenia is a real thing, and when you're in the middle of it, you can't just pull yourself out,
just like how OCD works—that obsessive-compulsive disorder where you get stuck in those loops
with senseless repetitions and intrusive thoughts.
But once the episodes pass....
Sending love to all my fellow schizos, though to some of you
I’d say: don't go trying to be a hero too early..
and maybe take a few tips from the self-help books.
And please, don't try to lecture someone while they're in the middle of a schizophrenic episode.
Stay strong, mental warriors, and fight until the very end...🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂:git ara:🙂🙂🙂🙂

Kudos to you, my friend. I clicked through to the last page and you really did say it all. That's the heart of it... Madness Marketing. That is why every new edition of the DSM will come loaded with hundreds of fresh diagnoses. Honestly, anyone in the world could find a label for themselves in those pages. For instance, I struggled with OCD, and now they lead me straight toward schizophrenia simplex, F20.6. Hahaha... I know plenty of friends dealing with various forms of schizophrenia. They are wonderful people, truly, and they can make you laugh heartily.🙂 I must say, I have never experienced any kind of hallucinations, so it quite irritates me when they attempt to group me into that F20.x category... In the old days, they performed lobotomies, but nowadays, they perform chemical lobotomies with medication. The stigma attached to it is quite heavy... though, occasionally, it serves as a very effective tool for intimidation. It acts almost like a handgun used for self-defense. Everything was a joke at my expense until people discovered what I was going through. Heheh... Then, suddenly, there was 100% fear. It's rather amusing; you suddenly possess a sort of authority. An invisible one. Society? Well, as usual. And everyone eventually "cracks" at some point. It’s right there in the moment you mention the word. Boom! Even movies and video games exploit that fear. Most of the horror in films and games centers around mental institutions. Come on, people, it's just entertainment and Hollywood. They do nothing but stigmatize these individuals. You cannot tell that 90% of people with schizophrenia are "mad" unless they tell you themselves. About 10% show signs that things aren't quite right. And the remaining 1% would be the severe cases. But those individuals have gone... too far. Just stay brave, everyone! It isn't nearly as terrifying as it seems.🙂 Please, feel free to throw some more jokes my way. Because, honestly, despite living with OCD, I have never once felt "crazy." If you were to just type F20 into Google, you would see in the descriptions that it is essentially just an inability to fit into the modern social fabric—which is really just a fancy way of saying one possesses a different kind of character. And believe it or not, if I hadn't received that diagnosis... well, today I might just be some local drunk or a complete jerk. Instead, it has shaped me into a very high-quality individual. You go through all sorts of things, and it truly empowers you. It genuinely irritates me when people stereotype those living with schizophrenia; they all seem to assume such individuals are homicidal by nature. In reality, it is quite the opposite, as most would turn that impulse inward upon themselves first! Such ignorant, narrow-minded people. And besides... until they actually experience what it feels like to live with this condition, they should probably keep their opinions to themselves. The lack of social acceptance is what truly tears at your soul, rather than the illness itself. It is so incredibly rare for the sickness to be the problem. Furthermore, mental "illnesses" are part of who a person is, not merely something a person possesses! Cancer is something you have, but you don't *have* schizophrenia. It is who you are... a person with schizophrenia, a person with OCD, a person with depression, and so on. Just keep moving forward, everyone! Don't let them get you down!

It’s happened to me twice now.
The first time, I lost an incredible job.
I honestly thought I was finished, but I managed to bounce back and actually landed something even better.
Then, after some time had passed, history repeated itself. This time, they were watching me closely, and I’m still working there today.
What weighs on me most is this constant financial uncertainty. If I just knew I was set for life,
and didn't have to worry about a paycheck, maybe I could afford to quit or focus on my treatment. Instead, I find myself constantly dreaming up side hustles and fantasizing about making it big.
If only I could hit the jackpot on a lottery ticket so I could finally just breathe. I know how unrealistic that sounds, but the insecurity just eats away at me. I don't want to end up wandering the streets, hungry and losing my mind one day.
It’s funny, though—my behavioral issues always seem to flare up whenever I fall in love. I meet someone, and suddenly I'm losing it :-) It’s true. Who knows what kind of deep-seated glitch is going on in my head?
Ever since I was a kid, my biggest wish was just to find that one person who would love me back. I’ve actually had some wonderful girlfriends—more than most of my friends, if I'm being honest—but the moment I truly fell in love, I’d become paranoid and act so strange. The last time I fell for someone, it was through social media, but once I realized I was spiraling, I had to call her and tell her we needed to break up so I could go seek help. We hadn't been together long, but she was perfect. It’s such a heavy thing, having to walk away from someone you care about just so you don't embarrass yourself or hurt them. It isn't easy. And I wonder, will I ever truly succeed in that area, especially now that things don't feel quite as simple? I need so much more just to feel happy. When you're a man approaching thirty, there's this unspoken pressure to be making your mark on the world while you're still in your prime, yet people don't offer much empathy or warmth during that struggle.
Does anyone have any thoughts?

goldendrifter642 said:It’s happened to me twice now.
The first time, I lost an incredible job.
I honestly thought I was finished, but I managed to bounce back and actually landed something even better.
Then, after some time had passed, history repeated itself. This time, they were watching me closely, and I’m still working there today.
What weighs on me most is this constant financial uncertainty. If I just knew I was set for life,
and didn't have to worry about a paycheck, maybe I could afford to quit or focus on my treatment. Instead, I find myself constantly dreaming up side hustles and fantasizing about making it big.
If only I could hit the jackpot on a lottery ticket so I could finally just breathe. I know how unrealistic that sounds, but the insecurity just eats away at me. I don't want to end up wandering the streets, hungry and losing my mind one day.
It’s funny, though—my behavioral issues always seem to flare up whenever I fall in love. I meet someone, and suddenly I'm losing it :-) It’s true. Who knows what kind of deep-seated glitch is going on in my head?
Ever since I was a kid, my biggest wish was just to find that one person who would love me back. I’ve actually had some wonderful girlfriends—more than most of my friends, if I'm being honest—but the moment I truly fell in love, I’d become paranoid and act so strange. The last time I fell for someone, it was through social media, but once I realized I was spiraling, I had to call her and tell her we needed to break up so I could go seek help. We hadn't been together long, but she was perfect. It’s such a heavy thing, having to walk away from someone you care about just so you don't embarrass yourself or hurt them. It isn't easy. And I wonder, will I ever truly succeed in that area, especially now that things don't feel quite as simple? I need so much more just to feel happy. When you're a man approaching thirty, there's this unspoken pressure to be making your mark on the world while you're still in your prime, yet people don't offer much empathy or warmth during that struggle.
Does anyone have any thoughts?

Every single one of my relationships ended because of my illness—though not for the exact same reasons yours did—but I certainly get where you're coming from.

There is so little understanding in this world, and for those of us dealing with mental health struggles, that lack of empathy hits harder than most. I know personally how much closeness and support mean to me, and how much it stings when people just don't "get it." But honestly, if it bothers me, that’s strictly my own burden to shoulder. I have to fix it myself, because for everyone else, life goes on regardless—it’s just that we "mental health folks" tend to feel the friction a bit more acutely.

I wish I could offer you some sage advice regarding women, but frankly, I am completely clueless in that department.🙂Maybe just try to deconstruct everything happening in your head—you know, really untangle those emotions.

So, I finally finished putting my story together regarding my journey through this relentless illness. It might not feel quite as overwhelming 😁if someone takes a moment to sit down and read it; I’d love to hear what you all think about it.

Harold Anderson3 said:So, I finally finished putting my story together regarding my journey through this relentless illness. It might not feel quite as overwhelming 😁if someone takes a moment to sit down and read it; I’d love to hear what you all think about it.

I just finished reading your account, Harold Anderson3—keep at it. You've still got plenty of youth on your side, and you'll find a way to get a handle on this schizophrenia soon enough.😉

Larry Lewis said:I just finished reading your account, Harold Anderson3—keep at it. You've still got plenty of youth on your side, and you'll find a way to get a handle on this schizophrenia soon enough.😉

How are things going with you? 🙂 Don't worry, you're still young, and we’ll figure all of this out together—we're always stronger when we stand as one. 🙂
I don't drink, I'm just messing around, and honestly, my signature is just a joke. 🤣

Harold Anderson3 said:How are things going with you? 🙂 Don't worry, you're still young, and we’ll figure all of this out together—we're always stronger when we stand as one. 🙂
I don't drink, I'm just messing around, and honestly, my signature is just a joke. 🤣

Let's just hope everything falls into place eventually, but hey, life happens, right?😉

I recently switched up my antipsychotic medication—still adjusting to the new regimen, honestly—and I’m not entirely sure if it’s the right fit yet. I’ve decided to stick with it for another ten days or so to see how the dust settles before heading back for a follow-up appointment, so... yeah, I'm not exactly firing on all cylinders right now.

It is incredibly difficult to explain to someone who hasn't endured a severe psychotic episode what that feels like—but well, we made it through the fire, and we survived at least the worst of it, which has to count for something.

In my eyes, people dealing with mental health struggles are a special breed—they carry a weight that most people simply couldn't shoulder without breaking.
If they sent me back to the psychiatric ward tomorrow, I wouldn't feel much shame about it, but if they sent me back to my old workplace? Now *that* would be a disaster.
I honestly don't know when the human race will finally realize that basic kindness and love are the only things capable of saving this world—a world that, frankly, I fear is veering dangerously in the wrong direction.

I want to express my deepest respect to everyone struggling with illness, to those people out there scraping by in the middle of the night just to stay invisible, and to everyone who reached out a hand to help me—because believe me, they helped more than I can say.

Larry Lewis said:Let's just hope everything falls into place eventually, but hey, life happens, right?😉

I recently switched up my antipsychotic medication—still adjusting to the new regimen, honestly—and I’m not entirely sure if it’s the right fit yet. I’ve decided to stick with it for another ten days or so to see how the dust settles before heading back for a follow-up appointment, so... yeah, I'm not exactly firing on all cylinders right now.

It is incredibly difficult to explain to someone who hasn't endured a severe psychotic episode what that feels like—but well, we made it through the fire, and we survived at least the worst of it, which has to count for something.

In my eyes, people dealing with mental health struggles are a special breed—they carry a weight that most people simply couldn't shoulder without breaking.
If they sent me back to the psychiatric ward tomorrow, I wouldn't feel much shame about it, but if they sent me back to my old workplace? Now *that* would be a disaster.
I honestly don't know when the human race will finally realize that basic kindness and love are the only things capable of saving this world—a world that, frankly, I fear is veering dangerously in the wrong direction.

I want to express my deepest respect to everyone struggling with illness, to those people out there scraping by in the middle of the night just to stay invisible, and to everyone who reached out a hand to help me—because believe me, they helped more than I can say.

I bumped my Zyprexa up to 10 myself, so I'm definitely not feeling my best either...
Yeah, there are plenty of us out here bravely carrying our own burdens.
Some people buckle under the pressure, and I have nothing but respect for them, too.
Every morning, I just shoulder my "crazy" and keep moving forward.
Some days it feels heavy, and I wonder if I can keep going. Other days I feel strong and capable of handling it. And then there are those rare moments where I almost forget it's even there, as if it doesn't exist at all. 😉

Harold Anderson3 said:So, I finally finished putting my story together regarding my journey through this relentless illness. It might not feel quite as overwhelming 😁if someone takes a moment to sit down and read it; I’d love to hear what you all think about it.

🙂☕
YOU ARE DESCRIBING YOUR LIFE IN SUCH GREAT DETAIL, SO HONESTLY AND INTERESTINGLY
YOUR WHOLE LIFE
DAMN, TOWARD THE END IT GETS PRETTY DARK
IT MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE YOU'RE LOSING IT BUT I'M KEEPING UP WITH THE READING
AND "APPETITE FOR DESTRUCTION" IS BLARING IN THE BACKGROUND
IT'S WILD HOW YOU REMEMBER ALL THESE TINY LITTLE DETAILS
DEEP DOWN, YOU ARE CERTAIN THAT THEY ARE
YOUR OWN THOUGHTS, YET THIS GRAY REALITY FEELS SO DIFFERENT
,I WOULDN'T GO ON FOREVER BUT MAYBE
LOGIC CAN ACTUALLY HELP HERE
FOR INSTANCE, YOU CANNOT BE IN ONE MOMENT
IN CANADA AND THEN SUDDENLY IN GERMANY OR
IN WASHINGTON, D.C.
IN REALITY, IT FEELS LIKE BEING IN A DREAM
OR LIKE BEING HIGH (SO MANY PEOPLE USE DRUGS
HOPING TO INDUCE HALLUCINATIONS, NOT REALIZING
THAT IT'S REALLY NOT THE SAME THING WHEN THE HIGH WEARS OFF)
AND IN THE MIDDLE OF A TOTAL MESS... IT LOOKS LIKE EVEN IN THE WORST
MESSES, A LITTLE KINDNESS HELPS, LIKE A WARM WORD
OR A GLASS OF WATER
A little tip if you ever get caught in a psychosis like that again
try using some logic
and just tell yourself you're overthinking things, so don't let it get to you too much
instead of looking for salvation in medical manuals, bureaucracy, or those depressing state hospitals
I'm not trying to act like a genius here, I promise
just giving a bit of advice ->
even though what you're going through is heavy
I really feel like medication just numbs a person out
whereas true healing
happens when you finally accept who you really are!

🙂