Schizophrenia - General Discussion

Angela Stewart6, I just finished watching that YouTube video. Man, that really is a brutal illness. It makes so much more sense to me now.
Are you taking any medications for it? What kind are you on?

Harold Anderson3 said:I suppose believing in them might have been a bit of an escape for me too.😛

My biggest struggle during my psychosis was this overwhelming sense of grandiosity; my brain was just racing at a hundred miles an hour, and I genuinely believed I was the most important person in the entire country. Honestly, the political climate at the time really messed with my head. Looking back, it feels like my mental health struggles coincided perfectly with how chaotic things were happening across America. But, I guess you learn from those mistakes. I know now that I'm not that central figure, and I understand that managing my mental state with medication is just as vital as making sure I eat or get enough sleep. I feel incredibly lucky that these medications exist, especially since I don't have to go around explaining my prescription to every person I meet.

What meds are you on, Harold Anderson3? Does that mean you're doing okay now—stable and back on track?

Jamie Lewis said:What meds are you on, Harold Anderson3? Does that mean you're doing okay now—stable and back on track?

I take Azar via injection once a month. It’s a relatively new medication and one of those rarer antipsychotics that doesn't really slow me down or drag my mood through the mud. Apparently, it might even give a little lift, but for me, just knowing it won't pull me down is plenty.

I take Leponex in the evenings, though I adjust the dosage based on how I'm feeling that day, following what my doctor advised. Depending on my state of mind, I'll take anywhere from one to three tablets at night. I should mention it does cause some hypersalivation—basically, I wake up with a pretty soaked pillow most mornings. 🕺

I'm also on an antidepressant called Ladiomil, though it feels a bit weak, and Cerson, which I mostly use just to help me get some sleep.

It might sound a bit intense when laid out like that, but honestly, I don't deal with many side effects, aside from my liver enzymes being a bit elevated. As for how much of a long-term issue that actually is, I really can't say.

For work, I'm with an American company that specializes in assembling industrial halls and large tents, and I do the same manual labor as everyone else there. It's physically demanding and requires a certain amount of dexterity, but that comes naturally with experience. So far, the company seems pretty happy with my performance.

Even though I don't always have the energy to socialize outside of work as much as I'd like...
I did manage to have a great time today hanging out with a hiking group during a weekend in the Catskills.

And yeah, thanks for asking. 🙂

Thanks for getting back to me with those details. 👍 Hang in there and good luck. 🙂

Ouagadougou said:I knew it, Jose Ward4! I just knew you’d show up to weigh in on this one.
Honestly, man or woman, it doesn’t matter—I feel like I’m seeing the same patterns everywhere I look. But when someone starts acting that irrational? Man, I just lose all respect for them in an instant. You really have to call people out on that kind of behavior. At the end of the day, you can't build a life on empty gestures and nonsense. We need to start facing the facts.
Just because Sara Vordas is attractive doesn't mean you have a free pass to touch her. Seriously.

Look, I told you Angela Stewart6 is attractive. I didn't say I was into her. There’s a massive difference there, and I think you should get that. I don't even know the woman! Your obsession with my "consistency" is honestly hilarious—you really sat there waiting until Wednesday just to call me out on this? And then you choose to do it right here on a forum instead of saying it to my face or giving me a ring? That says a lot about you, if you ask me. Anyway, that’s all I've got for now. I'm signing off.

Ouagadougou said:Is there anyone more much of a psychopath than someone living with schizophrenia or full-blown psychosis? Honestly, looking at this group, you all fit the description perfectly. You’re basically describing yourselves.

Good grief, you’ve completely lost it.

Ouagadougou said:Go ahead, Jose Ward4, just say whatever pops into your head. I actually respect that.
Back when we were grabbing beers, you mentioned she was totally your type, so...
As for how long I've been waiting—that’s none of your business. It hasn't been since Wednesday; it's been since Friday night. Stop making assumptions.
Just take it easy.

Adding an edit to this post:

I have nothing against her. She isn't a bad person and doesn't wish ill on anyone, but she has flaws. I just pointed those out to her, and honestly, it's all a fallout from what happened last Friday night.

And who do you think you are, telling me how to talk to people? You aren't always right, even if you think you are. Look at this as proof of what I didn't say to her on Wednesday. Everything was fine on Wednesday, so just chill out a bit.

To be honest, I don't even remember saying she was my type. We were having beers, sure, but I truly don't recall saying that. Look, everyone has flaws. We're all human, nobody is perfect, but surely you know that. You're a grown man, not a baby.

Look, I can't even stay mad at you because you're honestly one of the funniest guys I know in person, and I mean that sincerely. But sometimes you really go overboard with this whole "egoism" thing. You do it constantly. We haven't talked about my own past, but based on how you act here on the forum—and I might be wrong—it feels like it's not people having a problem with you, but rather you having a problem with people. People bother you, New York City bothers you, all these other things bother you, all under the excuse that everyone else is just too selfish. Why do you always hunt for people's faults instead of looking for the good? Life would be a lot easier if you did.

Here I am—just talking to myself at this point 🤣

Ouagadougou said:I remember you mentioning that, but honestly, it’s beside the point.

Look, this isn't personal. I don't have anything against you, but you can't just jump in to play the knight in shining armor simply because she's a woman—especially when you weren't even there for the actual conversation or the messages and everything else that went down. I have my reasons for telling her that her approach doesn't sit right with me, specifically how she's playing the victim far more than she actually is in reality. That brings us back to that "selfishness" I mentioned earlier; I feel like way too many people out there are just performing. I won't go as far as calling Sunčani Cvjet, but in a place like Washington, D.C., most people are exactly like that. I'll stand by that, and I don't care who tries to tell me otherwise.
Why am I looking for flaws? Because about 70% of people aren't even being themselves. They just follow the crowd. They don't have an original thought in their heads; they just act out roles, and the second I catch onto that, it honestly makes me sick.

I tend to be a bit more lenient with women; it's just how I am. It's in my nature. Probably my horoscope, too. And no, I'm definitely not some kind of jerk.

Angela Stewart6 said:Visionary, how have you been? How's life treating you lately?

I'm doing alright, I guess. Life just keeps getting progressively worse—just one headache after another. How about you? Hope things are actually decent on your end. 🙂

Robin Lopez2 said:In my case, my mom just walked in from the other room while I was in the bathroom, swapped out the ashtray, and slipped back into her room before I even realized what happened. No aliens, no supernatural forces, nothing. There are perfectly logical explanations for things like this, and it definitely isn't any of that stuff you wrote about!

The supernatural exists, whether we believe in it or not. Our brains just try to make sense of the world by coming up with the "best" possible explanations. I'll admit, I've rambled about all sorts of things here, but hey, that's what happens when you have an overactive imagination. Not to mention my medical history...
As for my own weird experiences, lately I've been leaning toward blaming it on a momentary lapse in memory or maybe just an optical illusion. It makes life a lot easier, and it keeps my imagination on a leash. It's a little less exciting, sure, but hey, anything to stay away from a hospital bed. And wait, why would your mom be swapping ashtrays if you said you live alone with just your dog?

Vordas, believe me, we have never actually met. Or maybe we did and I just totally blanked on it🙂

Sunflower, I just don't really get what's happening in this video—how about you? For me, my head was always just full of wild, scattered ideas that ended up being kind of silly or even funny in hindsight. I never actually dealt with anything that made me feel awful, anxious, or paranoid. Not before or after my psychotic episode. The only thing was this one time I heard a voice in my head telling me what to do when I found myself stuck in the middle of the woods late at night. There wasn't a soul around, and then I stumbled upon some guy who was looking to jump me. I somehow managed to get away in one piece, probably thanks to that voice.

Does anyone else here have voices that actually help them out, or did yours only say nasty things? And does everyone living with schizophrenia have to hear voices?

Think of it as a glitchy little internal world where neurons are basically misfiring their messages. It’s got absolutely nothing to do with anything mystical, paranormal, or "spiritual." To me, psychosis is actually proof that a person can function even without a clear sense of consciousness. Maybe not forever, but they can get by. Once you manage to push those intrusive memories aside and just focus on the grind of daily life and real-world problems, you start to see it for what it is: a disorder that makes life incredibly difficult, sure, but it isn't something you have to obsess over constantly. Those delusional memories just pull you away from the present moment. Personally, I’d never romanticize those voices; I see them as a textbook symptom of schizophrenia. In my experience, the negative symptoms of the illness are often much harder on people than the positive ones. With positive symptoms, people are essentially high, but with the negative ones, they’re left feeling very low.

Harold Anderson3 said:I suppose believing in them might have been a bit of an escape for me too.😛

My biggest struggle during my psychosis was this overwhelming sense of grandiosity; my brain was just racing at a hundred miles an hour, and I genuinely believed I was the most important person in the entire country. Honestly, the political climate at the time really messed with my head. Looking back, it feels like my mental health struggles coincided perfectly with how chaotic things were happening across America. But, I guess you learn from those mistakes. I know now that I'm not that central figure, and I understand that managing my mental state with medication is just as vital as making sure I eat or get enough sleep. I feel incredibly lucky that these medications exist, especially since I don't have to go around explaining my prescription to every person I meet.

Let's take it from the top! I am intimately familiar with that feeling of being "special"—it's a trip—but I've been working hard here to stay stabilized (well, as much as I possibly can). I really did think I was one-of-a-kind. However, I totally get where you're coming from. It seems like the political mess in the US definitely fueled the fire, making it even harder to snap out of that headspace, wouldn't you agree? Personally, I don't go around telling people about my diagnosis, but when I was in the middle of the psychosis, people could tell something was off—they would ask me what was wrong because, before all this, I was always such an upbeat, sunny person.

Jamie Lewis said:Angela Stewart6, I just finished watching that YouTube video. Man, that really is a brutal illness. It makes so much more sense to me now.
Are you taking any medications for it? What kind are you on?

Andrew, that was a pretty intense example you shared, but it definitely helps illustrate how irrational things can get during these episodes.
I take an antidepressant in the morning, and then at night, I take olanzapine (which is basically the generic version of Zyprexa, an antipsychotic) along with diazepam. I use the diazepam as needed—since, as it turns out, I’ve started experiencing some delusions lately. It wasn't something I should have let surface, but well, what's done is done. 🕺

Oldboy said:Just look at how much these guys have lost their minds—I mean, what is it about this girl being so incredibly attractive and high-strung that it triggers a full-blown schizophrenic episode?
You really ought to point out to this "stunning" forum lady that she also supposedly carries a nasty diagnosis—something she keeps hyping up here just to feed her ego, clearly acting out just like she does in real life.🤣

Angela Stewart6—wasn't it actually you who got caught in the crossfire there? You totally spiraled during a psychotic break thinking aliens were actually real. loooooool

Talk about a total game of telephone gone wrong.

Chloe Flores83 said:Vordas, believe me, we have never actually met. Or maybe we did and I just totally blanked on it🙂

Sunflower, I just don't really get what's happening in this

video—how about you? For me, my head was always just full of wild, scattered ideas that ended up being kind of silly or even funny in hindsight. I never actually dealt with anything that made me feel awful, anxious, or paranoid. Not before or after my psychotic episode. The only thing was this one time I heard a voice in my head telling me what to do when I found myself stuck in the middle of the woods late at night. There wasn't a soul around, and then I stumbled upon some guy who was looking to jump me. I somehow managed to get away in one piece, probably thanks to that voice.

Does anyone else here have voices that actually help them out, or did yours only say nasty things? And does everyone living with schizophrenia have to hear voices?

My experience was quite similar to yours, though not an exact match—for instance, my symptoms didn't transform my entire reality in quite that way. I definitely had those intrusive thoughts at times, but I eventually learned how to push them out of my mind. The most unsettling parts for me, though, were the tactile hallucinations. To give you a specific example: I once felt the distinct sensation of someone giving me an injection—I could actually feel the sting and the liquid spreading through my skin like some kind of poison. And get this—not long after that, I ended up in the hospital and was actually given an injection!

I dealt with voices too, but I’d rather not go into all the details. I really don't know everything that goes into this illness.

Carol Barrett2 said:I'm doing alright, I guess. Life just keeps getting progressively worse—just one headache after another. How about you? Hope things are actually decent on your end. 🙂

I felt the exact same way, Visionary. Honestly, I truly believe things are going to turn around for you—life has a way of doing that! The main thing is just making sure you're doing alright. As for me, things are actually looking pretty good.

And I have to say—just like Chloe Flores83 mentioned—I went through some incredibly intense therapy sessions right at the beginning. It was quite a ride! My mother actually used the word "zombie" to describe me during that period—and honestly, looking back, she wasn't exaggerating one bit. I was just completely out of it.

Angela Stewart6 said:Andrew, that was a pretty intense example you shared, but it definitely helps illustrate how irrational things can get during these episodes.
I take an antidepressant in the morning, and then at night, I take olanzapine (which is basically the generic version of Zyprexa, an antipsychotic) along with diazepam. I use the diazepam as needed—since, as it turns out, I’ve started experiencing some delusions lately. It wasn't something I should have let surface, but well, what's done is done. 🕺

Honestly, I can’t even wrap my head around what that feels like. Maybe if I went on some heavy drugs I’d actually understand what you guys are going through. 😲 It really isn't easy when you're stuck in a psychosis.

Try watching this video—just stare at the center of the screen for a minute or two, focus there, and then look at an object near you.



So, you're taking Ziprexica (an AP), and you're saying it's a miracle drug? If you had any extra, I’d literally pay you in gold bars. 😵 😉

Jose Ward4 said:I have this strange feeling like I’ve met you before or we’ve crossed paths somewhere, but since we're just talking on this forum without seeing each other, there's no way to know. I live on the east side of town, by the way. Maybe we bumped into each other at the doctor's office? I feel like I've heard a story like yours once before, and I'm just familiar with the way you express yourself.

I don't really struggle with finding the right words—thank God for that—but I have a terrible time remembering things when they're first told to me, especially when it's coming from a beautiful woman. I just get flustered, and it ends up being kind of cute, though I'm sitting there thinking, "Man, I am such a klutz." Like the other day, I was at a local bakery and I asked the woman behind the counter three different times what kind of pastries they had. She just laughed; she wasn't even mad, but I felt like such an idiot. Then again, when I get confused at the doctor's office, people actually do get annoyed because they have to repeat themselves. It's like my memory isn't quite firing on all cylinders, and I noticed it started happening after I began taking Vair. Back when I was on Valium, I didn't have these issues at all.

@Jose Ward4, are you also on the Ziprexica Quote dose? 😍

Chloe Flores83 said:Vordas, believe me, we have never actually met. Or maybe we did and I just totally blanked on it🙂

Sunflower, I just don't really get what's happening in this

video—how about you? For me, my head was always just full of wild, scattered ideas that ended up being kind of silly or even funny in hindsight. I never actually dealt with anything that made me feel awful, anxious, or paranoid. Not before or after my psychotic episode. The only thing was this one time I heard a voice in my head telling me what to do when I found myself stuck in the middle of the woods late at night. There wasn't a soul around, and then I stumbled upon some guy who was looking to jump me. I somehow managed to get away in one piece, probably thanks to that voice.

Does anyone else here have voices that actually help them out, or did yours only say nasty things? And does everyone living with schizophrenia have to hear voices?

Look, auditory hallucinations in schizophrenia are one thing, but intuition—that spontaneous spark where you just *know* something, or an idea or solution suddenly hits you—is something else entirely.