CheckEmoji Community · the emoji forum
🏠 Home 🆕 What's new ❓ Unanswered 🔥 Popular 📡 RSS Members 👥 0 online log in · register
Home › Lifestyle › Health › Support resources for families dealing with cancer and other serious illnesses

Support resources for families dealing with cancer and other serious illnesses

Started by James Cox6 · · 👁 285 views · 3.9K replies

📡 Subscribe to replies

Participants James Cox6Lisa White54shadowmason6Angela Wrightbrightgardener8Melissa Moore39James Martinez3Grace Stewart6Megan Fowler78Zachary Howard2Ashley Rodriguez41Douglas Lee13rowdyheron17placidheron24slyseal28jadesailor14Michael Newman3jadetinker42Benjamin Grant6wanderingharbor61cosmicviper76Dana Baker37Jason Torres5Peter Chavez6 …
Gary King2 Gary King2 Newcomer
3 messages
joined May 2010
#1601 ·
Thanks for the heads-up on this. I’m actually in the middle of talking things over with my family right now to see if we can finally get moving on a solution—assuming it isn't already too late. It seems like everyone else gave up before they even started. Since I'm 373 miles working out of state for business, I can't be there to handle everything in person, but I'm hoping to make some headway regardless.
I really didn't want to spark any unnecessary friction among the members here. I appreciate everyone weighing in; at this point, it's better to try something than to do nothing at all.
loneridge80 loneridge80 Newcomer
9 messages
joined May 2010
#1602 ·
feralridge3 said:It’s such a blessing to have someone by your side—someone who can act as a filter for all the information coming at you.
If I had a team behind me, maybe they would have given me the real scoop on how things actually stood, but I've had to handle everything entirely on my own. 😢

A few weeks ago, my sister was diagnosed with advanced malignant melanoma. I am doing everything in my power to stay right by her side and filter through the flood of medical info hitting us, but honestly, she seems five times stronger than all of us combined. The way she processed the diagnosis and organized her thoughts... I don't think everyone could handle it like she did. But then again, she’s always been this way: brave, unshakable, and ready for the fight.

She’s already finished five radiation sessions and is now waiting to start chemotherapy. Since she struggles with nausea, I’m really worried about how she’ll manage the chemo. I know medicine has come a long way and treatments aren't what they used to be, but it frustrates me when doctors seem unwilling to explain things. When you try to ask a question, they almost act like you're doing something wrong just because you read up on something or heard something elsewhere.

I don't even want to bring it up with friends, relatives, or neighbors. Most people immediately jump to the worst-case scenarios, and I really don't need that right now—and more importantly, my sister doesn't need it.

If anyone has any positive perspectives or advice, I would truly appreciate it.
Gary King2 Gary King2 Newcomer
3 messages
joined May 2010
#1603 ·
Hello again everyone.
I just received the diagnosis for my cousin: secondary malignant lymph node tumor, specifically malignant melanoma. loneridge80 it looks like it’s the exact same diagnosis your sister had. Over the last few days, I’ve read so much conflicting information about this that I’m starting to spiral into a depression myself. I’ve spoken to so many people, yet everyone says something different—either too vague or just plain useless. I honestly don't even know what the next move should be. I already received some PMs after my first post, so thank you all for reaching out. To give you the rundown: after my cousin finished his first round of chemo, his doctor, Tom at the Mayo Clinic, discharged him without prescribing any specific medications for home care, aside from a recommendation for Procter & Gamble products and Nexium. He didn't even explain why those were being used or what they were for. It’s been about 15 days since his second cycle, and the doctor still hasn't even written the discharge summary, so I have no idea what the latest test results show. Meanwhile, my cousin has become anemic and dropped 35 to 45 pounds in just two months. He’s lost so much weight he can barely coordinate his movements or take care of himself. His next cycle isn't scheduled until May 27th. The whole process feels far too simplistic and agonizingly slow for such an aggressive cancer. While some have pointed me toward alternative therapies, I just ordered several boxes of Amway capsules, hoping they might help. In my conversation with a representative from GNC, the distributor here in the States, the feedback was very positive, but we won't know if they actually work for another two weeks or so. >, if your sister isn't already taking immune-boosting supplements like these, I’d suggest looking into them. I’m no expert, but the consensus seems to be that you can't fight this kind of war without extra weapons.
That’s my update. If I had known life worked like this, I would have studied medicine. Getting straight answers from doctors—in this case, an oncologist—is nearly impossible. It feels like you're begging them for basic information rather than asking for a medical update.

Positive thinking, >? I've tried searching for that, but I just end up more disappointed every time. That doesn't mean I'll stop looking, though.

To lighten the mood: I just set fire to a trash can because I couldn't be bothered to get up and reach for the ashtray during a moment of "inspiration." Those cigarettes are going to cost me dearly one day, haha. Hello to everyone, and wishing for a speedy recovery.
loneridge80 loneridge80 Newcomer
9 messages
joined May 2010
#1604 ·
Gary King2 said:Hey again, everyone! Hope you're all having a great day!
I just received the diagnosis for my cousin: secondary malignant lymph node tumor, specifically malignant melanoma. loneridge80 It looks like this diagnosis is identical to what your sister went through. Honestly, I’ve read so much negative information over the last couple of days that I feel like I’m spiraling into depression myself. I’ve talked to so many people, but everyone says something different—most of it is either redundant or just plain useless—leaving me completely lost on what my next move should be. I already received some private messages after my first post, so I want to say thanks to everyone for reaching out. As for what I've done so far? I found out that after Dr. Tom at the Mayo Clinic discharged my brother following his first round of chemo, he didn't prescribe any medications for him to take while recovering at home, except for... Any recommendations? He didn't explain why he's taking Procter & Gamble products or Nexium, or what their actual purpose is. It’s been about fifteen days since his second cycle ended, and we still haven't received a discharge summary, so I'm completely in the dark regarding his latest test results. Meanwhile, my cousin has become anemic and dropped 15–20 pounds in just two months—it got to the point where he lost his coordination and can no longer care for himself. We have to wait until May 27th for his next cycle to start, which feels incredibly slow and overly simplistic if we're dealing with an aggressive cancer. Since some people suggested looking into alternative therapies, I went ahead and ordered several boxes of Amway ImmunoAHCC capsules, hoping they might provide some support. I spoke with a representative from GNC, the distributor here in the States, and they were very optimistic, but we won't know if they actually work for another two weeks or so. loneridge80, if your sister isn't already taking something like this to boost her immunity, I’d suggest looking into it. I’m certainly no expert, but most people seem to agree that you can't win this fight without extra weapons in your arsenal.
That’s all I have to say on the matter. If I had known things worked this way, I definitely would have gone to medical school. Getting actual, honest information from doctors—especially oncologists—is nearly impossible. It feels like you're asking them to walk through fire with you just to get a straight answer instead of some basic updates.

loneridge80, I've been searching for positive ideas too, but honestly, every time I try, I just end up more disappointed. Still, that doesn't mean I'm going to stop looking.

Just wanted to give you all a quick laugh—I actually ended up setting my trash can on fire because I was too lazy to reach for the ashtray during a moment of inspiration. Those cigarettes are definitely going to catch up with me one day, haha. Sending good vibes to everyone for a speedy recovery!

My sister is battling metastatic melanoma, with two metastases in her lungs and brain. It all started with just a simple mole on her thigh. But I’m not losing hope—and more importantly, neither is she. Her lymph nodes are clear and there's no immediate danger, according to the doctors. Thank God her stomach, pelvis, and everything else looks okay.

The biggest issue with doctors is that they often decide a patient should just give up because of a specific diagnosis; they think they've seen it all before. But then what? Where do they get the right to stop fighting on someone else's behalf? If a patient still has the will and the strength to fight, the doctor's job should be to encourage them and push for new insights or experimental therapies. By doing that, they wouldn't just be helping the patient—they'd actually be learning something themselves instead of just writing people off from the start. That’s what really gets to me.

And what happens when they start lecturing me about wasting money?! Who do these personal bankers think they are?

The least of their concerns should be my financial situation.

Whenever I find myself spiraling into a depression, Angela Wright lifts me back up with her mindset and her sheer will to fight. Major respect to her.

Seeing this young man battle melanoma and respond so positively to chemo really gave me the strength to keep pushing forward.
loneridge80 loneridge80 Newcomer
9 messages
joined May 2010
#1605 ·
I picked up some organic royal jelly for my sister since I read it’s great for boosting immunity. Does anyone else here actually use mushroom-based supplements?
Angela Wright Angela Wright Regular
731 messages
joined Feb 2007
#1606 ·
feralridge3 said:It’s a luxury having someone by your side—someone to act as a filter for all the noise and information coming at you.
Who knows, maybe if I actually had a support team, they would have told me how things really were, but I’ve had to handle every single bit of this on my own. 😢

So, you should be damn proud of yourself!🙏
Let this serve as living proof of just how much grit and courage you have. I don't have the slightest doubt that you're going to come out on top.🙂
feralridge3 feralridge3 Active Member
54 messages
joined Dec 2010
#1607 ·
Angela Wright said:And you should be incredibly proud of yourself!🙏
Let that serve as proof of just how resilient and brave you truly are. I have absolutely no doubt you'll come out on top.🙂

Thank you for those kind words.

I’d trade that pride for two big hugs and a good cry on someone's shoulder any day. 😢

The doctors seem to think I'm doing fine, but honestly, I've been feeling worse over the last two weeks. This past Saturday, it completely wiped me out. Everything was spinning. I couldn't even read because my vision kept drifting to the right, and I had to hold onto something stable just to move around. It felt exactly like what happened after my first surgery, about a month into recovery.

I went to see my primary care physician today—mostly because my medical leave is running out—and they're trying to convince me it's just "weather sensitivity." 🤷
Now, sure, changes in barometric pressure bother me, but this sudden decline happened right after a cold snap, which is actually the kind of weather I usually prefer. 🤷
Angela Wright Angela Wright Regular
731 messages
joined Feb 2007
#1608 ·
feralridge3 said:Thanks for the kind words.

I’d trade all that pride for two hugs and a good cry on someone's shoulder any day. 😢

The doctors say I’m doing fine, but honestly, I’ve felt like absolute garbage for the last two weeks. Last Saturday, it hit me so hard I was completely bedridden. Everything was spinning. I couldn't even focus on reading because my eyes kept drifting to the right, and I had to crawl around clutching onto furniture just to stay upright. It feels exactly like how I felt after my first surgery, about a month into recovery.

I saw my GP today, mostly because my medical leave is running out, and they’re trying to convince me it’s just "weather sensitivity." 🤷
Sure, changes in barometric pressure bother me, but this sudden crash happened right after a cold snap—the kind of weather I usually handle perfectly fine. 🤷

Look, you have to realize that you've sustained actual trauma to your brain. You're going to be more sensitive to shifts than people who haven't been through what you have. Look at the woman behind you—she went through two craniotomies and having surgeons poking around her brain. Some people never walk steady again. In that sense, consider yourself lucky.
Sending you a hug, and if you need to cry until tomorrow, go for it. 😉we're all in this together
feralridge3 feralridge3 Active Member
54 messages
joined Dec 2010
#1609 ·
Angela Wright said:Look, you really need to accept that you're dealing with permanent brain trauma. You’re naturally going to be more sensitive to certain changes than people who haven't been through what you have. Your wife behind you has undergone two craniotomies and significant brain surgery. Some people never walk steady again after that. In that regard, consider yourself lucky.
Sending you a hug, and if you want to cry about it until tomorrow, go ahead, 😉we're all in this together

Over the last year and a half, we've dealt with heatwaves and terrible weather patterns, but nothing hit me nearly as hard as this instability and dizziness I experienced this weekend. It wasn't even close—this feels entirely new. 🤷
I read somewhere once that side effects from cranial radiation don't show up until a year later, but I haven't found anything regarding how long they actually last. Personally, I suspect a huge portion of my issues are direct consequences of the radiation. 🤷
loneridge80 loneridge80 Newcomer
9 messages
joined May 2010
#1610 ·
feralridge3 said:I suspect a huge part of my issues stems from the radiation therapy. 🤷

My sister is dealing with dizziness too, and her doctor mentioned it's just the lingering effects of the radiation even weeks later. I'm hoping things settle down soon for both of you. Sending my best wishes.
neonmoose3 neonmoose3 Newcomer
5 messages
joined Mar 2003
#1611 ·
First time posting here! I’ve been following this thread for a while now and just wanted to say how much I appreciate it. There is so much vital info here, and the support and motivation people offer is truly incredible.

I don't have any cancer in my immediate family, but lately—especially over the last few years—it feels like I can't go a week without hearing about someone young getting a diagnosis. Even in what I read, the rates of things like carcinoma seem to have skyrocketed recently. It feels like everyone knows at least one person. Just in the last month, I've heard about three different diagnoses among people I actually know. All of them are roughly my age (early 30s) or even younger. The most recent case hit me today—a college student reached out to me to reschedule some exams since she's been away from campus for a year. From our chat, I learned she was diagnosed with breast cancer; she's gone through surgery and radiation, and thankfully, everything seems okay for now.

So, here is what I'm wondering: what is the actual consensus on the causes of carcinoma, melanoma, and the like? Some of the people I've spoken to mentioned their doctors pointed to stress as a major factor.

To be honest, I can see stress playing a part, but blaming *everything* on stress feels like a stretch to me. Sure, life is way more high-pressure now than it was, say, 20 or 30 years ago. But I can't help but think there's something else driving this massive spike in cases—something we're all being exposed to in our daily lives, more or less.

What do you all think?

(This topic is huge! If this has already been covered extensively, please forgive me and just drop a link to that part of the discussion)
feralridge3 feralridge3 Active Member
54 messages
joined Dec 2010
#1612 ·
loneridge80 said:My sister is dealing with dizziness too, and her doctor mentioned it's just the lingering effects of radiation and will persist for a few weeks. I’m really hoping things settle down for both of you soon. My heart goes out to you both.

I underwent radiation back in the summer of 2008.
Most of my health issues either flared up significantly or surfaced entirely toward the end of my temozolomide treatment—which was just over a year after finishing radiation. 🤷
Casey Palmer5 Casey Palmer5 Regular
470 messages
joined Jan 2016
#1613 ·
feralridge3 said:Thanks so much for the kind words.

I’d trade all that pride just for two big hugs and a good cry on someone's shoulder... 😢

I'm volunteering! Honestly, my shoulders have gotten so wide I can barely fit into any of my dresses anymore. Plus, I've got some great photos—say, maybe one with Blackwood? And I'll keep the beers ice-cold in the fridge...
Angela Wright Angela Wright Regular
731 messages
joined Feb 2007
#1614 ·
neonmoose3 said:This is my first time actually posting on this thread, though I’ve been lurking here for a while, keeping an eye on things and giving props where they're due. I really believe there's a wealth of vital information in this community that people can tap into, and honestly, it's the kind of support and motivation a lot of folks desperately need right now.

I don't have anyone in my immediate family fighting this, but lately, it feels like I can’t turn around without hearing about some young person getting hit with a cancer diagnosis. Even looking at the data, it seems like the rates for things like carcinoma have skyrocketed over the last few years. It’s becoming impossible to ignore; everyone seems to know at least one person going through it. To give you an idea of how common this is hitting home for me: in just the last month, I’ve heard about three different people being diagnosed. And we aren't talking about the elderly—it's people my age, somewhere in their 30s, or even younger. Just today, I was meeting with a college student to coordinate making up some exams she missed because she’d been out of school for a year. Through our conversation, I found out she had been battling breast cancer. She’s already gone through one or two surgeries and finished radiation, and thankfully, it looks like she's doing okay for now.

Here’s my question: what do we actually know about what triggers cancer, melanoma, and the like? I’ve been talking to people who have already received a diagnosis, and some of them mentioned that their doctors pointed to stress as a major underlying factor.

Look, I can buy stress being a partial explanation, but blaming absolutely everything on stress feels like a massive stretch to me. Sure, I’ll concede that we’re all living under way more pressure now than we were twenty or thirty years ago. But if you ask me, there’s something else driving this massive spike in diagnoses over the last few years—something much deeper that we’re all being exposed to, whether we realize it or not.

What do you all think?

This topic is massive. If we already covered this at some point, my bad—just drop a link to that part of the thread so I can catch up.

If you want to get serious about understanding what actually sets these things off, you need to pick up David Servan Schreiber’s book, *Anti-Cancer*. He isn't just some academic lecturing from a distance, either; he actually went head-to-head with a brain tumor himself. Because he lived through it, his deep dive into the environmental and lifestyle triggers that kickstart cancer feels a lot more grounded in reality than your typical textbook.
Let’s be real here: every single one of us is walking around with cancer cells inside our bodies at any given moment. It’s just biology. Our immune system is the only thing standing between us and a diagnosis—it's the frontline defense responsible for spotting and nuking those rogue cells before they can gain a foothold. But when that system gets compromised—whether it's due to stress, poor lifestyle, or a laundry list of other factors hitting you all at once—that balance shifts. Once that shield drops, that's when things go south.
He went on about things like stress levels, lifestyle choices, and diet, too.
Take this study as an example: researchers looked at men living in rural parts of China who were essentially living off the land, far away from any industrial pollution or urban sprawl. These guys had incredibly high levels of prostate cancer cells present in their systems, yet the disease just wouldn't take hold. They were basically walking around with the seeds of the disease already planted, but nothing grew. Then, some of them moved to big cities—completely flipping their lifestyle and habits upside down—and within just a few years, the cancer finally kicked in.
He brought up the example of Denmark—if I recall correctly—which maintains its own national DNA database. They actually tracked adopted children whose biological parents were known to carry certain hereditary cancer markers. Now, they didn't necessarily prove that these kids developed the exact same types of malignancies as their birth parents, but they did find something just as telling: the children were developing the same cancers as their adoptive parents. It’s a perfect illustration of how lifestyle and environment play a role. By adopting the habits and daily routines of their caregivers, they essentially conditioned their bodies to be susceptible to common killers like breast, colon, lung, cervical, or prostate cancer.

The reason America ranks so high on cancer mortality lists isn't just biology—it’s a massive failure of awareness. People are terrified of the word "cancer," so instead of facing it, they just look the other way. It's easier to ignore a threat than to deal with it. You see it all the time: people completely dodge early detection screenings that could quite literally save their lives, choosing instead to wait until things get dire. By then, they aren't looking for prevention; they're scrambling for surgery or radiation. We don't invest enough in education or preventative care, and frankly, trying to treat advanced cases once symptoms actually show up is an absolute nightmare. For our healthcare system, treating late-stage tumors is obscenely expensive and incredibly difficult to sustain, especially when we aren't seeing any tangible results from how we handle it.
Our lifestyle is a total disaster. People are constantly being threatened by health issues because they’re just gorging themselves on processed garbage and industrial waste. We've drifted so far away from the way our ancestors lived—they grew their own food, stayed active, and didn't load up on sugar like we do today. It’s honestly no surprise when you look at why cancer rates are skyrocketing here in America.
feralridge3 feralridge3 Active Member
54 messages
joined Dec 2010
#1615 ·
Casey Palmer5 said:I’m volunteering! Honestly, I have the kind of shoulders that make almost any dress look incredible. Plus, I’ve got great photos—say, from a trip to Blackwood—and plenty of ice-cold beers waiting in the fridge.

😂😂
That was a valiant effort; you actually managed to make me laugh. 😍
As for me, I’ve been to Blackwood, but as far as beer or alcohol goes, I can't touch the stuff because of my medication—actually, I've never even really been a drinker. And... let's be realistic here, I'd much rather date a man.😉
Casey Palmer5 Casey Palmer5 Regular
470 messages
joined Jan 2016
#1616 ·
feralridge3 said:😂😂
Let's be real here, I'd definitely go for a guy instead. 😉

Oh, no way, you can't have that 😁
feralridge3 feralridge3 Active Member
54 messages
joined Dec 2010
#1617 ·
Casey Palmer5 said:Oh, you can forget about that! 😁

Not from me, that's for sure. 😉

Anyway, I dropped off my medical records at the medical review board today regarding my disability extension. I honestly couldn't believe my eyes when I saw the decision. 😲 They only extended my leave by 13 days, lasting only until the first of the month. 🤷
They actually wrote that based on the available documentation, there are no indications for an extended period of care.
Let’s be perfectly realistic here: I am nowhere near being able to return to work. 👎
Gary Torres7 Gary Torres7 Newcomer
1 message
joined May 2010
#1618 ·
My father was diagnosed with a tumor near his tongue about three years ago, and since that initial diagnosis, he’s been stuck in this endless cycle of radiation and chemotherapy. It feels like we're just running in circles because every single year, without fail, the tumor decides to resurface. Now, his tongue is constantly swollen, making it nearly impossible for him to even eat a decent meal, which just adds more misery to the whole situation. Has anyone else here dealt with a persistent issue like this, and if so, how on earth did you manage to find a way through it?
Lisa White54 Lisa White54 Active Member
213 messages
joined Jul 2008
#1619 ·
feralridge3 said:not yours. 😉

Anyway, I dropped off my medical files at the review board today to try and get my disability extended. I honestly couldn't believe my eyes when I saw the verdict. 😲 They only bumped my leave up by 13 days, until the first. 🤷
They actually wrote that there’s "no indication" for long-term care based on the paperwork they have.
Let's be real here—I am nowhere near being able to step foot back in that office. 👎

When my husband was out, they cut him off from disability after a whole year. I was floored!! Then his primary doctor basically told me that since he couldn't work, I should just quit my job too!!!! He was only 48 with 25 years of seniority... I went down to his company and demanded they give him vacation time instead. Then, a few days later, I packed him up, took him to the hospital, and got a new medical leave started, which bought him another year. After that, he went before the disability board—again!—and they ruled he had "partial disability." Partial... when the guy has lung cancer. Finally, I fought them on it and he finally got his disability checks. It isn't a fortune, but at least I don't have to deal with this damn bureaucratic nightmare anymore!!
Angela Wright Angela Wright Regular
731 messages
joined Feb 2007
#1620 ·
Gary Torres7 said:My dad was diagnosed with a tumor near his tongue three years ago. Since then, he’s been going through radiation and chemo, but the tumor just keeps coming back every single year. His tongue is constantly swollen, making it impossible for him to eat. Has anyone dealt with something similar, and how did you manage it?

Unfortunately, using a nasogastric tube for feeding is really the only way to bypass the swallowing issues and the tongue itself. 😢

You must log in or register to reply here.

Log in Register

🔗 Similar threads