Support resources for families dealing with cancer and other serious illnesses

Noah Gomez3 said:I find myself wondering all the time—there are people who pass away when they truly deserve to live, and then there are those who walk around breathing every day but really deserve to die. It’s a famous quote or something, I don't know who said it.😢

Look, everyone lives and everyone dies. It isn't some cosmic meritocracy based on who's good or bad; it’s just the raw nature of existence and everything that comes along with it.

Angela Wright said:Honestly, who knows... I figure they probably have specific quotas, and if one clinic is packed while another is empty, they just shuffle people around.
Still, you should definitely file a complaint! Remind them that you have the right to choose your own doctor, especially when they're trying to assign you someone you've never even heard of. Maybe reach out to Dr. Mlikotic for some advice on how to handle this.
Don't give up—start making those phone calls right away!

I actually went to a doctor this year who is absolutely slammed, and I even moved my daughter over to her practice too.
Nobody at the Klović clinic said a word about it.
And this is the second time I’ve ended up with an overloaded physician.
Maybe the administrator was just having a rough day, I guess, but I'm not sure what else to say.
You really need to go down there in person and demand your rights!

I really need some advice here. My dad is currently going through chemotherapy—specifically gemcitabine. He’s in his fourth cycle right now, and ever since he got the treatment last Thursday, he hasn't been able to get out of bed. He has zero appetite, he’s completely wiped out, and he can't stop sweating...
I’m honestly terrified because he’s never acted this way after a treatment before.
Are these symptoms just a side effect of the chemo?
And how long does it usually take for things to start looking up?
If they even do improve at all?

Do you think an IV drip might actually help him?

slyowl10 said:Would an IV drip help him out?

Dad absolutely needs to stay hydrated and keep eating. You have to ask about an IV! If he gets dehydrated and his electrolytes tank, it could be fatal.

Are all these symptoms I listed actually just from the chemo?

Question for anyone out there who’s had to deal with losing someone to a serious illness.
How did you actually know when the end was coming? Did you just sort of sense it beforehand?
Is there a way to tell just by looking at them?

slyowl10 said:So, the symptoms I listed—are they just side effects from the chemo?

They could be. But if it’s actually a reaction to the chemo, it usually hits hard for a day or two and then settles down. If you've got a fever that just won't budge no matter what, you have to watch out for an infection. When chemo has completely wrecked your immune system, even a common cold can turn fatal.

slyowl10 said:A question for anyone who has unfortunately lost a loved one to a terminal illness.
How did you know when the end was near? Did you sense it coming?
Is there something about a patient's appearance that gives it away?

When it comes to death and the final moments, my advice is simple: don't dwell on it, and don't try to visualize how it will go down. Trying to get ahead of it is counterproductive; you spend all your energy trying to prepare for a moment that isn't here yet instead of being present in the "now." You can't prepare for it. It's impossible.
Dying is much like a light being turned off. "Turning off" is the perfect way to describe the process, whether it drags out over several weeks or happens in a sudden flash within a few hours. It is deeply personal, just as every person is unique.

My mom (52) was just diagnosed with colon adenocarcinoma today after a colonoscopy at the Sun Clinic.
We have some connections out in suburban Ohio, and we're planning to reach out to some doctors through them tomorrow... I'm wondering where we might be able to get things moving faster, though. How much of a difference will having those doctor connections actually make regarding wait times, and could we realistically handle everything through our contacts in the area?

Between the bleeding and the hemorrhoids, she’s physically exhausted and honestly, she’s already losing the will to even fight this...

slyowl10 said:A question for anyone who has had the misfortune of losing a loved one to a serious illness.
How did you know when the end was near? Did you sense it coming?
Is there any way to tell just by looking at them?

All I can tell you is that no matter how long the battle lasts, you can never truly prepare yourself for the moment someone close to you passes away. There’s always that lingering sliver of hope—I guess that's just human nature, isn't it?
And like Angela Wright said, "fading out" is the perfect way to describe it. That's really all I can say. 😢

Robert Grant84 said:My mom (52) was just diagnosed with colon adenocarcinoma following a colonoscopy at Sun Hospital.
We have some connections in Washington, D.C., and we’re planning to reach out to some doctors via our contacts at the Community Health Center tomorrow. Where is the best place to get this handled quickly? If we use our connections, how long of a wait are we looking at? Can everything be managed locally in Washington, D.C.?

She’s already pretty weak from all the bleeding and hemorrhoids, and honestly, she’s starting to lose her will to even fight through treatment.

They should admit her immediately; these kinds of situations are emergencies, especially if surgery is on the table. I’d recommend heading straight to a major hospital like Mayo Clinic.

So, they found some malignant cysts on my ovaries today—not sure if this is even the right place to be posting this, but I'm 19
Honestly, I don't even know what I did to deserve this... I just don't have the energy to sit around and grieve right now. I'm just hoping for the best, I guess.

brightangler18 said:They found malignant ovarian cysts today. I’m not even sure if this belongs in this thread, but I’m only 19.
I honestly don't know what I did to deserve this, but I just don't have the energy to sit around and mourn. I'm just hoping for the best.

Whoa, hold on a second... how can they say they're malignant?
What kind of tests did they actually run?

Ultrasound, Doppler, biopsy samples sent off to the lab, CT scans... plus I gave them blood and urine too. Yeah... it looks malignant

brightangler18 said:Ultrasound, Doppler, biopsy sent to the lab, CT scans... she also did blood work and urine tests. Yeah, it looks bad... definitely malignant.

What does it say on your PHD? Look, not every type or stage is equally devastating.
Make sure you log on to the forum at www.zanovidan.com

I don't really know—my mom has all the test results, and honestly, I’m clueless when it comes to medical stuff. I'm a law student, so... yeah, two totally different worlds.

I guess there's a silver lining in finding out this early. I still have to head back next week for more tests—not even sure which ones—but there's hope that since we caught it so soon and the cells haven't spread much, things might turn out okay. I don't have the paperwork right here, so I can't say for sure, but man, my mood has been all over the place today. I just don't know what to think anymore—I'm not even 20 yet.

thanks for the link 🙂

Not sure if this is the right sub, but I’ll take my chances. As I’ve mentioned before, my grandmother is battling cancer. She isn't living with us because nobody can provide the 24/7 care she requires, so she's back at her own place. Her two youngest sons are staying with her to help out, and a visiting nurse stops by for injections. Here’s the issue: one of those sons has been caught smoking right next to her multiple times. We've told him repeatedly that it's dangerous, and while he behaves when my mother is around, he goes right back to it the moment she leaves. This morning, my mother's cousin—who is also a nurse—stopped by and caught my uncle smoking again. My mom is at a total loss on how to get through to him. How do you hammer it into an idiot's head that he is actively endangering her life? We can't exactly threaten him with the authorities because they won't intervene in a private home, and we certainly can't kick him out since he has legal rights to be in that house.

Laura King24 said:All I can tell you is that there is absolutely no way to prepare yourself for the death of someone close to you, no matter how long the illness drags on. A person just keeps hoping somehow. I guess that’s just human nature.
And just like Angela Wright wrote, "fading out" is the perfect way to put it. That's all I can say. 😢

I second this. Even when they told me my dad had maybe one or two weeks left, I kept hoping they were wrong. Deep down, though, I knew I’d have to say goodbye. I remember his look so clearly the day before he passed... we were talking, and he knew I was right there with him... but then he looked out the window at the trees, and it was like he was already halfway to Heaven. I can't explain it logically, but I just had that feeling. The very next day, he was gone.

There is no preparation. None. If I ever had to go through this again, I wouldn't be ready. But I remember that last day—holding his hand, knowing he had to go. It was as if all his strength flowed into me, and I just kept telling him inside my head that I understood, that he could go if it would make things easier... and that he didn't need to worry about us...

I don't know... I move on with my life, but I feel like I couldn't purge this pain from my soul even if I had a hundred lifetimes left. 😢((

brisksurfer said:I'm with you on this. Even when they told me Dad had maybe a week or two left, I kept hoping they were just wrong. Deep down, though, I knew the goodbye was coming. I can still see his eyes clearly from the day before he passed... we were talking, and he knew I was right there... but then he looked out the window at the trees, almost like he was already halfway to heaven. There’s no rational way to explain it, but that was the feeling. He was gone the next day...

There’s no such thing as being prepared... if I had to do it again, I wouldn't be ready. But I remember holding his hand on that last day, knowing he had to go. It felt like all his strength flowed into me... I just kept telling him internally that I understood, that he should go if it would make things easier... and not to worry about us...

I don't know... I move on, but I feel like I could live a hundred lives and never truly get rid of this pain. 😢((

I knew my old man was leaving the second he handed me that train ticket to Washington, D.C., and headed out to buy it. No idea why or how.

He fell ill the next day and ended up in the ER. Three months until the diagnosis. Eight months until he was gone. And after more than ten years, it hasn't gotten a bit easier than that moment I tucked the ticket into my wallet. 😢