Time for a change - NEED advice

Hi everyone... I'm 22 years old and dealing with several issues that have reached a breaking point where I truly can't function in any area of my life. To start, I’d say I am actually a happy person—someone who doesn't look like they're falling apart on the inside...

I grew up in a happy home, everything was great, except for my father's occasional aggressive outbursts due to his drinking, which usually left me crying and terrified. That went on for a few years until I grew up and finally confronted him; he calmed down, quit drinking, and I could finally feel at peace. Regardless of all that, I've been extremely sensitive since birth, both emotionally and physically, like catching every cold. High school was easy; I made friends easily, was always smiling, and was popular. I had the drive to do everything and stayed active in sports. The problems started when I was 16. I was also incredibly naive back then. I fell for a guy who took advantage of me; he tricked me into meeting him for coffee at a mutual friend's house just so he could try to force himself on me... I refused, which led to an argument and him pushing me, so I just left. The next day, everyone was gossiping about it. He spread lies about our relationship, making me out to be some low-life character. Because of his lies, I was shunned and mocked by everyone. The worst part was that I didn't know how to handle it. I isolated myself and fell into depression. I wasn't the happy, confident girl anymore. I learned to live with this low mood and negative self-image, never realizing how much it would cost me in the future...

Why am I telling you all this? Because I'm trying to figure out what led me to where I am today. I finished high school, started college, and met the boyfriend I'm still with today. For a while, I felt great... But even after all these years, I'm still not that old version of myself. I'm constantly tense and lacking confidence. I feel like I haven't achieved anything; I have no hobbies, everything feels boring and exhausting, and I have zero motivation. Lately, I can't even focus on studying; my only joy comes from spending time with my boyfriend. He is a massive support to me; we love each other, and our relationship is strong and heading in a good direction... But fear is holding me back. A huge fear that I'm incapable of doing anything on my own. He’s moving abroad for work in a few months. I'm terrified of being alone and that I won't be strong enough to handle it. Simply put, I'm constantly sad and anxious, even though there's no logical reason to feel this way... I saw a psychiatrist once back in high school, and his diagnosis was that I am emotionally unstable. I'm asking for your advice on how to pull myself out of this state I'm in. I don't want my bad mood and pessimism to ruin my relationship, my future, or my eventual family. All I want is to be happy and relaxed, but I can't find a way to snap out of it.

Sorry for the long post and for describing such a heavy situation, but my head is such a mess right now that I don't know how else to explain it. Any advice is welcome.

Are you actually pursuing the degree you wanted, or just following a script? It might be worth asking yourself if the life you're currently leading is one you actually desire—or if you're just checking boxes because you think you're supposed to. Maybe you aren't even being yourself at all. There is also the possibility that you’re simply dealing with depression, which has this way of forcing us to feel exactly the way you described.

coastalhound58 said:Are you actually pursuing the degree you wanted, or just following a script? It might be worth asking yourself if the life you're currently leading is one you actually desire—or if you're just checking boxes because you think you're supposed to. Maybe you aren't even being yourself at all. There is also the possibility that you’re simply dealing with depression, which has this way of forcing us to feel exactly the way you described.

The real issue is that I don't even know what I want. Nothing really sparks my interest anymore. Everyone else on this thread seems to have some level of experience, while I'm just stuck. I can't tell if I'm depressed, if I need to see a therapist, or if I just need someone to talk to. Maybe I'm just overly sensitive, or maybe there's a legitimate problem here that I need to start tackling.🤷

I’d offer you some advice since it seems like you’re struggling—though honestly, from where I’m sitting, it looks like you don’t actually have any problems at all, and that might just be your biggest issue right there..
Two facts: you’ve got a boyfriend and you’re in college.
If you couldn't care less about your major or the career path you're training for, then just drop out and go get a job—or switch to something else... I mean, what else is there to say? 🤷

Arthur Rivera2 said:The real issue is that I don't even know what I want. Nothing really sparks my interest anymore. Everyone else on this thread seems to have some level of experience, while I'm just stuck. I can't tell if I'm depressed, if I need to see a therapist, or if I just need someone to talk to. Maybe I'm just overly sensitive, or maybe there's a legitimate problem here that I need to start tackling.🤷

Well, are you supposed to be interested?
Is there some federal law or regulation about that?
I mean, unless you're breaking some statute or violating an official mandate by being bored... 🤣 🤣

P.S. Sane people generally care about things that bring them pleasure or provide some kind of benefit...
...and if they don't have those, what else would they bother with, right!?
From what you're describing, it sounds like you're lacking both.

Arthur Rivera2 said:Hi everyone... I'm 22 years old and dealing with several issues that have reached a breaking point where I truly can't function in any area of my life. To start, I’d say I am actually a happy person—someone who doesn't look like they're falling apart on the inside...

I grew up in a happy home, everything was great, except for my father's occasional aggressive outbursts due to his drinking, which usually left me crying and terrified. That went on for a few years until I grew up and finally confronted him; he calmed down, quit drinking, and I could finally feel at peace. Regardless of all that, I've been extremely sensitive since birth, both emotionally and physically, like catching every cold. High school was easy; I made friends easily, was always smiling, and was popular. I had the drive to do everything and stayed active in sports. The problems started when I was 16. I was also incredibly naive back then. I fell for a guy who took advantage of me; he tricked me into meeting him for coffee at a mutual friend's house just so he could try to force himself on me... I refused, which led to an argument and him pushing me, so I just left. The next day, everyone was gossiping about it. He spread lies about our relationship, making me out to be some low-life character. Because of his lies, I was shunned and mocked by everyone. The worst part was that I didn't know how to handle it. I isolated myself and fell into depression. I wasn't the happy, confident girl anymore. I learned to live with this low mood and negative self-image, never realizing how much it would cost me in the future...

Why am I telling you all this? Because I'm trying to figure out what led me to where I am today. I finished high school, started college, and met the boyfriend I'm still with today. For a while, I felt great... But even after all these years, I'm still not that old version of myself. I'm constantly tense and lacking confidence. I feel like I haven't achieved anything; I have no hobbies, everything feels boring and exhausting, and I have zero motivation. Lately, I can't even focus on studying; my only joy comes from spending time with my boyfriend. He is a massive support to me; we love each other, and our relationship is strong and heading in a good direction... But fear is holding me back. A huge fear that I'm incapable of doing anything on my own. He’s moving abroad for work in a few months. I'm terrified of being alone and that I won't be strong enough to handle it. Simply put, I'm constantly sad and anxious, even though there's no logical reason to feel this way... I saw a psychiatrist once back in high school, and his diagnosis was that I am emotionally unstable. I'm asking for your advice on how to pull myself out of this state I'm in. I don't want my bad mood and pessimism to ruin my relationship, my future, or my eventual family. All I want is to be happy and relaxed, but I can't find a way to snap out of it.

Sorry for the long post and for describing such a heavy situation, but my head is such a mess right now that I don't know how else to explain it. Any advice is welcome.

So what, are you expected to be hyperactive and bubbly by force? Should you just invent fake hobbies just so people can say:
"Wow, look at her go with all those hobbies, wow, she's so impressive!" 🤣 🤣
I don't know, maybe try forcing yourself to take up knitting or memorizing every single player's stats on an NFL roster... just to convince people you're into crafts or sports, because apparently... that's absolutely vital... 🙄

Arthur Rivera2 said:Hi everyone... I'm 22 years old and dealing with several issues that have reached a breaking point where I truly can't function in any area of my life. To start, I’d say I am actually a happy person—someone who doesn't look like they're falling apart on the inside...

I grew up in a happy home, everything was great, except for my father's occasional aggressive outbursts due to his drinking, which usually left me crying and terrified. That went on for a few years until I grew up and finally confronted him; he calmed down, quit drinking, and I could finally feel at peace. Regardless of all that, I've been extremely sensitive since birth, both emotionally and physically, like catching every cold. High school was easy; I made friends easily, was always smiling, and was popular. I had the drive to do everything and stayed active in sports. The problems started when I was 16. I was also incredibly naive back then. I fell for a guy who took advantage of me; he tricked me into meeting him for coffee at a mutual friend's house just so he could try to force himself on me... I refused, which led to an argument and him pushing me, so I just left. The next day, everyone was gossiping about it. He spread lies about our relationship, making me out to be some low-life character. Because of his lies, I was shunned and mocked by everyone. The worst part was that I didn't know how to handle it. I isolated myself and fell into depression. I wasn't the happy, confident girl anymore. I learned to live with this low mood and negative self-image, never realizing how much it would cost me in the future...

Why am I telling you all this? Because I'm trying to figure out what led me to where I am today. I finished high school, started college, and met the boyfriend I'm still with today. For a while, I felt great... But even after all these years, I'm still not that old version of myself. I'm constantly tense and lacking confidence. I feel like I haven't achieved anything; I have no hobbies, everything feels boring and exhausting, and I have zero motivation. Lately, I can't even focus on studying; my only joy comes from spending time with my boyfriend. He is a massive support to me; we love each other, and our relationship is strong and heading in a good direction... But fear is holding me back. A huge fear that I'm incapable of doing anything on my own. He’s moving abroad for work in a few months. I'm terrified of being alone and that I won't be strong enough to handle it. Simply put, I'm constantly sad and anxious, even though there's no logical reason to feel this way... I saw a psychiatrist once back in high school, and his diagnosis was that I am emotionally unstable. I'm asking for your advice on how to pull myself out of this state I'm in. I don't want my bad mood and pessimism to ruin my relationship, my future, or my eventual family. All I want is to be happy and relaxed, but I can't find a way to snap out of it.

Sorry for the long post and for describing such a heavy situation, but my head is such a mess right now that I don't know how else to explain it. Any advice is welcome.

And does it really matter what anyone else thinks?

For God's sake, just act naturally and do whatever brings you comfort or secures your future... and stop worrying over nothing..

crimsoncanyon2 said:I’d offer you some advice since it seems like you’re struggling—though honestly, from where I’m sitting, it looks like you don’t actually have any problems at all, and that might just be your biggest issue right there..
Two facts: you’ve got a boyfriend and you’re in college.
If you couldn't care less about your major or the career path you're training for, then just drop out and go get a job—or switch to something else... I mean, what else is there to say? 🤷

Well, are you supposed to be interested?
Is there some federal law or regulation about that?
I mean, unless you're breaking some statute or violating an official mandate by being bored... 🤣 🤣

P.S. Sane people generally care about things that bring them pleasure or provide some kind of benefit...
...and if they don't have those, what else would they bother with, right!?
From what you're describing, it sounds like you're lacking both.

So what, are you expected to be hyperactive and bubbly by force? Should you just invent fake hobbies just so people can say:
"Wow, look at her go with all those hobbies, wow, she's so impressive!" 🤣 🤣
I don't know, maybe try forcing yourself to take up knitting or memorizing every single player's stats on an NFL roster... just to convince people you're into crafts or sports, because apparently... that's absolutely vital... 🙄

And does it really matter what anyone else thinks?

For God's sake, just act naturally and do whatever brings you comfort or secures your future... and stop worrying over nothing..

Okay, when I first read your post, my immediate thought was, "look at this person attacking immediately," coming here for advice only to get bombarded...
Anyway, I read it two more times and concluded you are entirely correct, from the first word to the last... I need to pull myself together, work on myself, be my own solution, and realize I have plenty of reasons to be happy... My purpose for posting here wasn't to whine or overanalyze, but to get a concrete opinion on whether I actually need professional help or if I just need to snap out of it and face life..

Arthur Rivera2 said:The real issue is that I don't even know what I want. Nothing really sparks my interest anymore. Everyone else on this thread seems to have some level of experience, while I'm just stuck. I can't tell if I'm depressed, if I need to see a therapist, or if I just need someone to talk to. Maybe I'm just overly sensitive, or maybe there's a legitimate problem here that I need to start tackling.🤷

Arthur Rivera2 said:The real issue is that I don't even know what I want. Nothing really sparks my interest anymore. Everyone else on this thread seems to have some level of experience, while I'm just stuck. I can't tell if I'm depressed, if I need to see a therapist, or if I just need someone to talk to. Maybe I'm just overly sensitive, or maybe there's a legitimate problem here that I need to start tackling.🤷

I honestly think you could benefit from talking to a professional therapist. Think about it this way: you wouldn’t try to fix a cavity at home using a handheld power drill, right? It just doesn't work that way! When smart, capable people realize they're struggling to carry a heavy load, the most logical step is to reach out to a mental health expert. No one can wave a magic wand and make our problems vanish instantly, but a professional can definitely help us find the inner strength we need to tackle them head-on.
Don't be so hard on yourself! You can't carry the weight of the whole world on your own shoulders.
When you think about it, conversation is actually one of the most powerful tools we have in psychological medicine! It’s much more than just small talk; it's a fundamental part of the therapeutic process.
Get moving, reach out for a little help, and you'll see just how beautiful life can truly be!

Arthur Rivera2 said:Okay, when I first read your post, my immediate thought was, "look at this person attacking immediately," coming here for advice only to get bombarded...
Anyway, I read it two more times and concluded you are entirely correct, from the first word to the last... I need to pull myself together, work on myself, be my own solution, and realize I have plenty of reasons to be happy... My purpose for posting here wasn't to whine or overanalyze, but to get a concrete opinion on whether I actually need professional help or if I just need to snap out of it and face life..

So, you have a boyfriend, but he isn't making you happy?
The only reason I gave you my take is because you reminded me of some lost girl from San Diego, just spinning her wheels in her own head...
You know, there are tons of girls out there who basically study just for the sake of studying—since there are barely any jobs available—and their entire world revolves around fashion, makeup, and looking pretty. They don't really have hobbies beyond grabbing coffee and engaging in shallow small talk or gossiping with friends. Most often, their only real life goal is to get married—ideally to someone wealthy. And honestly, hardly any of them stress about whether they need a bunch of fake hobbies just to seem "cool" or well-rounded, nor do they worry about being seen as unmotivated or uninterested in those "essential" things and the world around them...
And it's not like the guys are bitter or dissatisfied with that whole setup either.

From that perspective, I don't think you need professional help, because what you're feeling is normal.

But you obviously aren't from San Diego, because if you were, you'd be a bit sharper... 😉
...your guy is moving abroad... find your happiness elsewhere... especially if you're planning on marrying him...

But regarding your inability to grasp that reality, you might actually need double the help.

Arthur Rivera2 said:Hi everyone... I'm 22 years old and dealing with several issues that have reached a breaking point where I truly can't function in any area of my life. To start, I’d say I am actually a happy person—someone who doesn't look like they're falling apart on the inside...

I grew up in a happy home, everything was great, except for my father's occasional aggressive outbursts due to his drinking, which usually left me crying and terrified. That went on for a few years until I grew up and finally confronted him; he calmed down, quit drinking, and I could finally feel at peace. Regardless of all that, I've been extremely sensitive since birth, both emotionally and physically, like catching every cold. High school was easy; I made friends easily, was always smiling, and was popular. I had the drive to do everything and stayed active in sports. The problems started when I was 16. I was also incredibly naive back then. I fell for a guy who took advantage of me; he tricked me into meeting him for coffee at a mutual friend's house just so he could try to force himself on me... I refused, which led to an argument and him pushing me, so I just left. The next day, everyone was gossiping about it. He spread lies about our relationship, making me out to be some low-life character. Because of his lies, I was shunned and mocked by everyone. The worst part was that I didn't know how to handle it. I isolated myself and fell into depression. I wasn't the happy, confident girl anymore. I learned to live with this low mood and negative self-image, never realizing how much it would cost me in the future...

Why am I telling you all this? Because I'm trying to figure out what led me to where I am today. I finished high school, started college, and met the boyfriend I'm still with today. For a while, I felt great... But even after all these years, I'm still not that old version of myself. I'm constantly tense and lacking confidence. I feel like I haven't achieved anything; I have no hobbies, everything feels boring and exhausting, and I have zero motivation. Lately, I can't even focus on studying; my only joy comes from spending time with my boyfriend. He is a massive support to me; we love each other, and our relationship is strong and heading in a good direction... But fear is holding me back. A huge fear that I'm incapable of doing anything on my own. He’s moving abroad for work in a few months. I'm terrified of being alone and that I won't be strong enough to handle it. Simply put, I'm constantly sad and anxious, even though there's no logical reason to feel this way... I saw a psychiatrist once back in high school, and his diagnosis was that I am emotionally unstable. I'm asking for your advice on how to pull myself out of this state I'm in. I don't want my bad mood and pessimism to ruin my relationship, my future, or my eventual family. All I want is to be happy and relaxed, but I can't find a way to snap out of it.

Sorry for the long post and for describing such a heavy situation, but my head is such a mess right now that I don't know how else to explain it. Any advice is welcome.

Bottling up your feelings is straight-up bad news. You either end up exploding at people or you just implode internally and spiral into a massive depression. It sounds to me like that’s exactly what you’re doing. Just cry when you need to cry, be happy when you feel happy. Don't go hiding from the world.

I grew up in a happy home, everything was wonderful, except for those occasional aggressive outbursts from my dad due to his drinking—which usually ended with me breaking down in tears or feeling terrified... That went on for a few years until I grew up and finally confronted him. He calmed down, quit drinking, and I could finally feel some peace. Despite all that, I’ve always been incredibly sensitive—both emotionally and physically, like catching every cold that goes around.

Look, we all have family drama, but the key is actually dealing with it. Physically, you can toughen up by eating right and hitting the gym regularly. Emotionally? Being sensitive isn't a flaw, but losing control over it is. Emotions matter. People who feel things deeply tend to be either the life of the party or they get crushed by it and withdraw completely. The good news is that anyone can learn how to process and let go of emotions. It’s a skill, plain and simple—kind of like learning to drive a car.

Basically, high school started out great. I made friends easily, I was always smiling, the popular kid in the group. I had energy for everything, nothing felt too hard, and I played sports. Then things went south when I was 16. I should mention I was extremely naive and gullible back then. I fell for this guy who totally took advantage of me; he tricked me into meeting him for coffee under the guise of hanging out with a mutual friend, and then tried to force himself on me... I refused, which led to an argument and him pushing me, so I just left. The very next day, the whole school was gossiping about it. He spread lies and twisted the story about our relationship. I ended up being cast as the "bad person" with no morals, which meant I was shunned and mocked. Worst of all, I didn't know how to handle it. I isolated myself from everyone. I fell into a depression. I wasn't smiling or happy anymore; my self-esteem hit rock bottom. And so, I learned to live with that low mood and those negative thoughts about myself, having no clue that it would cost me so much later in life...

You didn't know how to deal with it then, but now is the perfect time to start learning. Read books about life, watch documentaries, talk to people—do it every single day. Before long, you'll start understanding life, yourself, and others a lot better. But you actually have to apply what you learn—otherwise, nothing changes.

It’s good that there’s still a chance to fix this. If you haven't already, stop stressing about what other people think. Most people only think about you for a few seconds while you're talking, and then they go right back to obsessing over their own problems and plans. How much time do you spend thinking about them? Exactly that much. So just be yourself and stop worrying about what people might say or think. At the end of the day, it’s your life, not theirs. Embracing that will help you relax and build up some real confidence.

Look, this is the core of the matter—really. You’ve basically conditioned yourself to live with a bad mood and a shitty self-image. It’s like a loop. It takes about a month of repeating certain thoughts, feelings, or actions before a habit actually starts to set in. Right now, you've just built up these negative habits, and it's high time you scrap them and start building some good ones instead.

So, how do you actually pull this off? First, you’ve got to figure out who you want to be, what you want to own, and what you want to do. Once that's clear, you have to practically force yourself through those initial steps. It's about making tiny, incremental moves toward those goals every single day. At the start, you’re going to have to stare your fears right in the face, but they’ll lose their grip on you over time—eventually, they just vanish. Just don't try to go from zero to sixty in one day; you'll burn out. Try to find some joy in the shift itself. Do things you love, and really try to lean into enjoying what you do. Stay consistent. Every day, just start ignoring those old, useless thoughts and emotions and swap them out for the new ones you're aiming for. Give it six months, and your whole life could look completely different. 🙂

Also, surround yourself with good vibes—positive people, great music, maybe some heavy-hitting motivational movies, stuff like that.

Lately, I can't even focus on studying; the only thing that makes me happy is hanging out with my boyfriend... He's such a massive support for me, we love each other, our relationship is solid and heading where we want it to go... But I feel held back by fear. This huge fear that I'm just not capable of doing anything on my own . He's actually moving abroad for work in a few months... I'm terrified of being alone , and I'm scared I won't be strong enough to handle it all. Basically, I'm just constantly sad and anxious, even though there's no logical reason to feel this way.

The only way to beat fear is to go head-to-head with it. It isn't easy—not by a long shot—but you've gotta suck it up and do it. You actually have a perfect window right now with a few months left to work on yourself independently. This is a gift for you. 🙂 > your own limits and see what you're made of. Look, you're going to stumble, that's just life, but be grateful for the falls because they make you sharper and tougher. Failure only happens if you quit. Your potential is way higher than you can even wrap your head around right now.

In time, you'll get past this fear of being alone. Seriously, you should be with your boyfriend because of love, not because you're afraid of the silence. You have to find your own happiness and independence first.

Back when I was in high school, I saw a psychiatrist, and his diagnosis was that I'm emotionally unstable. I'm asking for advice on how to pull myself out of this current state... I don't want my bad mood and pessimism to ruin my relationship, my future, or even my family one day. All I want is to be happy and relaxed, but I just can't find a way to snap out of it.

The most important thing is movement. Start acting and learning every single day.

Feel free to shoot me a DM. If I can help with any advice, I will. 🙂

Nicholas Gonzalez8 said:Bottling up your feelings is straight-up bad news. You either end up exploding at people or you just implode internally and spiral into a massive depression. It sounds to me like that’s exactly what you’re doing. Just cry when you need to cry, be happy when you feel happy. Don't go hiding from the world.

I grew up in a happy home, everything was wonderful, except for those occasional aggressive outbursts from my dad due to his drinking—which usually ended with me breaking down in tears or feeling terrified... That went on for a few years until I grew up and finally confronted him. He calmed down, quit drinking, and I could finally feel some peace. Despite all that, I’ve always been incredibly sensitive—both emotionally and physically, like catching every cold that goes around.

Look, we all have family drama, but the key is actually dealing with it. Physically, you can toughen up by eating right and hitting the gym regularly. Emotionally? Being sensitive isn't a flaw, but losing control over it is. Emotions matter. People who feel things deeply tend to be either the life of the party or they get crushed by it and withdraw completely. The good news is that anyone can learn how to process and let go of emotions. It’s a skill, plain and simple—kind of like learning to drive a car.

Basically, high school started out great. I made friends easily, I was always smiling, the popular kid in the group. I had energy for everything, nothing felt too hard, and I played sports. Then things went south when I was 16. I should mention I was extremely naive and gullible back then. I fell for this guy who totally took advantage of me; he tricked me into meeting him for coffee under the guise of hanging out with a mutual friend, and then tried to force himself on me... I refused, which led to an argument and him pushing me, so I just left. The very next day, the whole school was gossiping about it. He spread lies and twisted the story about our relationship. I ended up being cast as the "bad person" with no morals, which meant I was shunned and mocked. Worst of all, I didn't know how to handle it. I isolated myself from everyone. I fell into a depression. I wasn't smiling or happy anymore; my self-esteem hit rock bottom. And so, I learned to live with that low mood and those negative thoughts about myself, having no clue that it would cost me so much later in life...

You didn't know how to deal with it then, but now is the perfect time to start learning. Read books about life, watch documentaries, talk to people—do it every single day. Before long, you'll start understanding life, yourself, and others a lot better. But you actually have to apply what you learn—otherwise, nothing changes.

It’s good that there’s still a chance to fix this. If you haven't already, stop stressing about what other people think. Most people only think about you for a few seconds while you're talking, and then they go right back to obsessing over their own problems and plans. How much time do you spend thinking about them? Exactly that much. So just be yourself and stop worrying about what people might say or think. At the end of the day, it’s your life, not theirs. Embracing that will help you relax and build up some real confidence.

Look, this is the core of the matter—really. You’ve basically conditioned yourself to live with a bad mood and a shitty self-image. It’s like a loop. It takes about a month of repeating certain thoughts, feelings, or actions before a habit actually starts to set in. Right now, you've just built up these negative habits, and it's high time you scrap them and start building some good ones instead.

So, how do you actually pull this off? First, you’ve got to figure out who you want to be, what you want to own, and what you want to do. Once that's clear, you have to practically force yourself through those initial steps. It's about making tiny, incremental moves toward those goals every single day. At the start, you’re going to have to stare your fears right in the face, but they’ll lose their grip on you over time—eventually, they just vanish. Just don't try to go from zero to sixty in one day; you'll burn out. Try to find some joy in the shift itself. Do things you love, and really try to lean into enjoying what you do. Stay consistent. Every day, just start ignoring those old, useless thoughts and emotions and swap them out for the new ones you're aiming for. Give it six months, and your whole life could look completely different. 🙂

Also, surround yourself with good vibes—positive people, great music, maybe some heavy-hitting motivational movies, stuff like that.

Lately, I can't even focus on studying; the only thing that makes me happy is hanging out with my boyfriend... He's such a massive support for me, we love each other, our relationship is solid and heading where we want it to go... But I feel held back by fear. This huge fear that I'm just not capable of doing anything on my own . He's actually moving abroad for work in a few months... I'm terrified of being alone , and I'm scared I won't be strong enough to handle it all. Basically, I'm just constantly sad and anxious, even though there's no logical reason to feel this way.

The only way to beat fear is to go head-to-head with it. It isn't easy—not by a long shot—but you've gotta suck it up and do it. You actually have a perfect window right now with a few months left to work on yourself independently. This is a gift for you. 🙂 > your own limits and see what you're made of. Look, you're going to stumble, that's just life, but be grateful for the falls because they make you sharper and tougher. Failure only happens if you quit. Your potential is way higher than you can even wrap your head around right now.

In time, you'll get past this fear of being alone. Seriously, you should be with your boyfriend because of love, not because you're afraid of the silence. You have to find your own happiness and independence first.

Back when I was in high school, I saw a psychiatrist, and his diagnosis was that I'm emotionally unstable. I'm asking for advice on how to pull myself out of this current state... I don't want my bad mood and pessimism to ruin my relationship, my future, or even my family one day. All I want is to be happy and relaxed, but I just can't find a way to snap out of it.

The most important thing is movement. Start acting and learning every single day.

Feel free to shoot me a DM. If I can help with any advice, I will. 🙂

Thanks for the support 🙂 I think you hit the nail on the head regarding how I feel. I know deep down I need to put in the work if I want to see any results... get rid of the negativity and, most importantly, learn to love myself. Thanks to everyone for sharing their thoughts. It’s up to me to actually start putting in the effort and doing the self-work; only after I've truly tried can I determine if I need professional help. Thanks again.

Just ask yourself one thing: how would your life actually look if you didn't have him by your side, and more importantly, if you didn't have the chance to go to college?
Everything would be a whole lot easier for you.

Henry Cruz5 said:Just ask yourself one thing: how would your life actually look if you didn't have him by your side, and more importantly, if you didn't have the chance to go to college?
Everything would be a whole lot easier for you.

Maybe things would be better for you... perhaps that's precisely where the issue lies.. 😉

It seems possible that you're facing more complications than you even realize.. ☕

And man, does it hurt.. 🤷

Find your own footing instead of leaning entirely on your partner. That’s the root of the issue right there. Sit down and figure out what you actually want versus what you don't, then focus exclusively on those goals—the ones that serve you. You aren't going to fix everything overnight. Take it one day at a time, tackling the things that weigh on you, but don't suffocate yourself with pressure; that just makes the hole deeper. Try to find joy where you can. Explore something new, but don't burn your old life to the ground; find a middle ground where the two coexist.
You don't actually have these massive problems right now. It's just a lack of willpower fueled by the fear of how much things will change once he leaves. Don't beat yourself up over it. If you play this right, he'll come back to find someone much more resilient and self-assured.