Wedding cakes and desserts

Nathan Cox25 said:How did you figure out the dessert math? Did you go by headcount or per couple? We ordered 45 pounds for the guests and another 45 for the buffet table—enough for 150 people, I guess, if you're feeling optimistic

We just go by about a quarter pound per person... honestly, it’s the simplest way for us to keep the math straight.

Isn't that a bit much?
We’re going to have such a massive turnout with the family—the little boxes won't be enough. We'll end up with a few extras if someone decides they want to grab two packs, but honestly, there's plenty to go around. Trust me, you'll be begging for more cookies by the end of the night, so you might want to rethink your math. 😁

Trust me, it really isn't. Around here, people usually hand out about a pound of sweets per guest—it’s just one of those local traditions. Everyone talks about how much they love waking up the next morning, grabbing a coffee, and snacking on a few leftover wedding treats.
On the flip side, if we try to do a flat "half-pound per family" rule, it feels a bit off to me. I mean, if there are five people in a family, they get half a pound total, but then someone who shows up solo also gets a full half-pound? It ends up looking pretty unbalanced. If you know what I'm getting at... (I am honestly struggling to find the right words here) 🙂

Arthur Thompson11 said:😱😱 Don't scare me like that
The math:
170 people getting 0.25 oz of cookies per box = 43 lbs

Restaurant portion: 44 lbs
My batch at home: 62 lbs
His batch: 62 lbs...
= 168 lbs total
Good grief... hopefully that's enough food

I get the restaurant and the little gift boxes part, but I don't get why you need 28 kg of cookies at home? I mean—if you guys usually pass out that much dessert, sure—but in my book, that's just overkill.
I had 150 guests once and we only went through 25 kg total, which was more than plenty.

Daniel Martin12 said:I get the restaurant and the little gift boxes part, but I don't get why you need 28 kg of cookies at home? I mean—if you guys usually pass out that much dessert, sure—but in my book, that's just overkill.
I had 150 guests once and we only went through 25 kg total, which was more than plenty.

Yeah, well, that 28 kg is meant for taking home (meaning once they bring the gifts over this Friday, plus when people come by to congratulate the newlyweds, not to mention all the folks from work who need a little something, and of course, bringing treats to the neighbors and relatives we didn't invite to the wedding).

Look, people—neighbors, your mom’s friends, whoever—are going to show up with enough baked goods to feed an army. You can just keep those at home instead of buying store-bought stuff. Honestly, it’ll feel more personal that way. Just be prepared for that inevitable moment where you realize you overdid it and end up tossing half of it in the trash. But hey, do whatever you think makes sense.

I have a pretty solid handle on how many desserts we’ll need—both for our guests at home and those attending the reception hall. As for the rest of the numbers, those were calculated by our parents. Honestly, if they feel that much is necessary, then let them cover that portion of the cost. We aren't required to give the final weight counts until about a month before the wedding, so I'm really hoping there might be some movement in those figures by then.

So, just to make sure I've got this straight—you're serving cookies to guests when they drop off the gift on Friday, and then again at the wedding on Saturday? Or am I totally misreading the plan?
As for when everyone shows up to pick up the bride—honestly, you probably won't even need more than a couple of pounds of sweets, if that.
What you really need is some good prosciutto, smoked sausage, cheese, and a solid bottle of wine—that’s the real deal right there. The cookies are really just for show.

At my sister-in-law’s wedding—about 140 people total—they had maybe 100 pounds of pastries for the reception and favors, plus some homemade stuff at the house. By the end, there was so much left over that they ended up dropping it all off at a local youth shelter on Monday.

Daniel Martin12 said:So, just to make sure I've got this straight—you're serving cookies to guests when they drop off the gift on Friday, and then again at the wedding on Saturday? Or am I totally misreading the plan?
As for when everyone shows up to pick up the bride—honestly, you probably won't even need more than a couple of pounds of sweets, if that.
What you really need is some good prosciutto, smoked sausage, cheese, and a solid bottle of wine—that’s the real deal right there. The cookies are really just for show.

Well, I'm from a different part of the country, so my traditions are a bit different.
When people bring over gifts on Friday, I feel like I have to serve them something. Then, on the wedding day itself, everyone gathers for an afternoon snack—where we'll have the pastries, the charcuterie, the cheese, and so on. After that, the group heads out to collect the bride. At her place, there's usually a small buffet setup.
Then comes the ceremony, followed by the reception at the hotel, where every table gets a few pounds of pastries—plus, as guests are leaving, they get a little box of treats to take home. And finally, the next day, the parents go around visiting folks—coworkers, neighbors, and such.

Tell me about it. Even my folks wanted to order a mountain of those cookies—I could barely talk them out of such nonsense.
It feels like people just lose all sense of scale in situations like that.
Later on, we ended up handing out some of the cookies that weren't even meant for sharing to the last few guests hanging around, then took the rest home.
Out of everything we brought back, I took some to the office, my wife took some to her work, we shared a bit with the neighbors and family, and eventually, some just went to waste.
That was the whole saga of those 55 pounds of cookies. Honestly, even 30 pounds would've been plenty.

I totally get where you're coming from—that is way too much cake for anyone to handle. To build on what Nathan Cox25 was saying, someone’s probably going to end up baking those cookies for us anyway. Since we still have two months before the order actually goes through, I'm really hoping we can scale that amount down to at least 220 pounds.

Arthur Thompson11 said:Well, I'm from a different part of the country, so my traditions are a bit different.
When people bring over gifts on Friday, I feel like I have to serve them something. Then, on the wedding day itself, everyone gathers for an afternoon snack—where we'll have the pastries, the charcuterie, the cheese, and so on. After that, the group heads out to collect the bride. At her place, there's usually a small buffet setup.
Then comes the ceremony, followed by the reception at the hotel, where every table gets a few pounds of pastries—plus, as guests are leaving, they get a little box of treats to take home. And finally, the next day, the parents go around visiting folks—coworkers, neighbors, and such.

The second part makes sense, but I'm still a little lost on the first half.
Okay, let's say I'm a guest and I drop off a gift on Friday. You offer me some cookies and appetizers right then and there—but do you also give me a box of sweets when I leave that same day?

Daniel Martin12 said:The second part makes sense, but I'm still a little lost on the first half.
Okay, let's say I'm a guest and I drop off a gift on Friday. You offer me some cookies and appetizers right then and there—but do you also give me a box of sweets when I leave that same day?

No, you don't. You get them on Saturday when you check out of the hotel.😉
And then I want to hear someone try to tell me that Boduli is being stingy.🤣

Honestly, I think 130 pounds of dessert would be more than enough for everything you listed 😉
It’s easy enough to crunch the numbers while you're at the venue.
Just take the number of tables—say, 1kg per table if they're rounds seating 8 to 10 people.
Grab an extra 10 pounds just to be safe.
Then you can just pick up maybe 10 pounds total to split between his place and yours—though, looking back, I probably overestimated what you actually need.
Keep in mind you'll likely have plenty of homemade treats too. Honestly, just take whatever money you save on the extra sweets and spend it on a nice dinner for the two of you instead. 😁

Regarding the dessert situation, I wasn't really aiming for anything over the top... Honestly, the venue has a dedicated dessert station, so we’re just picking up some high-end pastries from Whole Foods and calling it a day. But now you guys have me second-guessing everything... Should I actually grab a little extra? There are about 100 guests coming, and I definitely won't be handing out leftover cake for them to take home since I've already got those cute custom soaps ready for favors. So, what's the verdict?? Also, quick question—does anyone have tips on how to keep cheesecakes from getting ruined during transport? We aren't doing a massive tiered wedding cake or anything fancy, just a variety of different cakes from the bakery. I'd love any advice you can throw my way on either topic 🙏
>We aren't meeting at his place or mine, either 🙂

Look, if you aren't handing out those cookies on Friday and waiting until Saturday instead—then having 28 kg at your place and another 28 kg at your fiancé's means you're going to have way too many sweets to actually serve!
The amount of dessert eaten on the wedding day—between his place, yours, and the banquet hall—is honestly negligible. I've been to plenty of weddings with all kinds of crowds, and most of the time, people barely touch the sweets.
They're basically just there for decoration on the tables.
Since you really need to focus on what guests actually care about—you know, the main course and the drinks—the desserts are almost an afterthought.
If you calculated it so that maybe 5 kg of your 28 kg stash gets eaten (which is already a stretch!) and you'll split the remaining 23 kg among people without overstuffing them, then your math checks out. Same goes for your guy.

Not trying to be a know-it-all here—but maybe take a look at what 220 pounds of cake actually looks like.
I mean, if you try to do the math and realize it’s like over half a pound per person, it might seem small, but trust me, it's massive.
There’s just so much other food at a wedding that you’ll probably only grab a couple of slices all day.

I honestly have no clue where I’d even put 60 pounds of homemade cake. What kind of industrial fridge would I even need? You guys aren't actually planning on leaving all that out on the counter, are you?

Just jumping in here 🙂

Back home, nobody really touched the sweets. We had a Swedish buffet setup, and everyone just went straight for the savory stuff. There were only about four trays of desserts for the 150 people hanging out in the backyard. Inside the hall, we had 17 tables, and there was roughly 1.5kg of dessert on every single table. A ton of it was left over, so we basically handed it out to whoever wanted it later (there were 180 people inside). As people were leaving the restaurant, we gave out little boxes per family or couple—maybe 10 pieces in each box. I guess we probably provided more than enough for the whole crew.